What on earth is this thing my kid brought home??

Holy hand grenade

And the number shall be 3!

I was wondering what happens when we light it!

I really hope they don't make secondary school kids make these. They are well getting lobbed at each other on the bus.

HALLELUJAH

Incoming!

I hear the sound effect from

Aaaa hi-ni-naaaaa!! Bhooof!! 'Haah! You Misssedd!!"

This made me chuckle, take my damn upvote.

Haaaaaaaalelujah

A bomb? That’s a dangerous animal!

unexpectedmontypython

Tis a relic Brother Maynard Carries with him!

This is the only correct answer 😹

Christingle 🤣🤣 remember these from every Christmas Eve. You need to upgrade the raisins to dolly mixtures though!

I got in trouble with the vicar for eating the dolly mixtures on the Christingle one xmas service. I mean, I was 5 and someone handed me sweets. Without any instructions, how was I supposed to know that I was going to be handing it off to some other child from an older age group for their hymn?

And wrap it in tinsel. Where's the pizzazz? We used to wrap ours in ribbon AND tinsel, cause we loved our religious objects to be pimped out. Maybe the cost of living crisis means that tinsel is out of their budget.

As my gf found out recently, not everyone did Christingle as a child. I had no idea wtf it was until a month ago!

Enki906

yeah its missing the dolly mixtures unless the kid has had them already.

They're cloves where I come from! Tragic.

Is this a Protestant thing that I’m too Catholic to understand?

Yeah that!

I just saw the raisins, utter bullshit. You're not going to want to sneakily eat them while walking round the church with them lit and pretend you dropped your sweets.

Ops christingle is like a waitrose christingle.

Upgrading the raisins to marshmallows is more fun. You can roast the marshmallows when you light the candle. We only did that one year and they went back to dried fruit.

I'm sorry to break this to you, but, it's drug paraphernalia. By the looks of this one (a four pronger) your kid has probably been "zesting" it up and getting all "raisined out of it" for quite some time. You need to stage an intervention ASAP.

I knew he was behaving oddly! We’ll send him to a boarding school. Thanks

Chris Morris's burner account

Top tier comment

For a moment I though it was a tampon wedged in to an orange, which is possibly less weird than what it actually is

I was also wondering why no one was talking about the tampon.

The tampon is to absorb the blood of Christ

Christingle.

It was popularised in the 70s. It originated from the 1700s

The 70s? These are from the 1700s! They're Moravian, originally from Germany (although yes, they caught on in the uk in the 70s/80s)

I remember the ribbon was his blood but that might be me misremembering and mixing it with communion wine/ribena

I'm sure I remember being told that, as well as the four Sundays of advent, the four sticks represent Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and possibly also the four seasons. Very multi-purpose.

When you say candle, you’re talking about the tampon? Correct?

I thought the cocktail sticks with snacks were the 4 seasons?

I'd forgptten all about these. When I was in the Brownies growing up we got one of those given to us at Xmas when we went for the service to sing carols.

Christingle baby

Thanks 😊

This is the first top comment that seems to register James Acaster, even if it is obliquely, and thus, the upvote upon thee I do bestoweth...

It had to be Chelmsford to replace the candles with glow sticks...

"In 2006, Chelmsford Cathedral in the UK announced that it would be replacing the candles with glowsticks, due to concerns of children's hair catching on fire"

Cristingle Google it

I remember when I first saw one of these as an adult I thought it was a joke. Looks like a Reeves and Mortimer product

Thanks 😊

A fruity Sputnik?

They could have used a potato and made Spudnik :D

Red ribbon is the blood of Christ and the dried fruit is god's creations on the 4 corners of the world

4 corners? The world is spherical?

I really thought that candle was a tampon so the blood of Christ is on point here.

Not seen one of these for years!

Yeah, that was my first thought - where is the dolly mix!?!?

You're meant to put it in a pear tree to attract partridges. By tradition you can't start Christmas festivities until this is done.

Christ where do I find a pear tree?!

It’s a christingle! Bit early yet though isn’t it? Don’t they make your kid trek out in the pissing rain holding it to go sing a load of hymns in church during the last week of term?

Nah my mum had hers last weekend! I don’t think they’re fixed on anything in the Christian calendar so it’s whenever your vicar has a slow weekend to fill I think

There was one dumped in our hedge yesterday. Presumably some kid thought “this is wank” and lobbed it in there on the way home. It’s a bit early for the Christingle though innit? I’m not Christian so I might be wrong, but I thought it was a Christmas Eve thing.

Any time in Advent is good, though the first ones are usually a couple of Sundays in.

Shoutout James Acaster!

I shout out my own name that way he knows whether or not he wants to talk to me.

ONLY reason I knew what this was.

Many people don’t know this but James Acaster is his undercover name, his real name is Pat Springleaf.

I assumed he made them up... I had no clue these are really a thing

Cookin up a spagbol tonight!

Came here for this comment.

Is the white thing a candle, a tampon or a stick of dynamite?

Bin juice in waiting

It's a christingle.

That old lady was just jealous that she hadn't thought of toasting it mid service.

Ah, thank you! Ive now googled Christingle. What a bizarre thing!

These were studded with cloves too when I was at school. I don't remember the raisins

That’s a pomander. Traditional Xmas decoration to ward off evil spirits.

A thing that primaries make children do to celebrate Christmas

One eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater.

You’ve heard of stocking fillers, I present to you - a lesson filler.

This is the correct answer.

It's a raisin-orange-candle-stick. They're very common.

It's a summoner. Don't ask what of...

It smells nice for a bit then goes mouldy

Nearly sat on one at a playground once. I thought it was a creative child's prank at first, butt spiker but yeah Christingle

[удалено]

ah the holy hand grenade of antioch a fine piece of holy weaponry

A Christingle is a symbolic object used in the Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany services of many Christian denominations.

Used to love making these in school but I would've eaten all the sweets off of it before I got home lol We used to put dolly mix on the sticks

Thank you for taking me back to my childhood. 😌

christingle. we were dragged into a church service every year but all people cared about was eating the sweets and trying to singe their eyebrows. good times

Is christingle not a commonly known thing?

The orange of Christingle! There's a throwback to my childhood, we used to have a song about it at school / church set to the tune of The Holly and the Ivy 🤣

A cult initiation ceremonial gift

I see someone snuck their kid into a faith school...

Welsh heathen here…when my friends told me about this I thought they were insane. Also, that’s the most pagan thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some very pagan things 🤣

Just a normal primary school.

i remember doing this in school for xmas arts and craft

I’ve never seen one of those before

Fruit bomb?

The gamma variant? I hear it'll be all the thing in 2023.

Whatever you do don’t light it

I have literally never seen or heard of one of these things in my life

Don't worry its just an attempt by the church to groom your kid. It never did me any harm and as a bonus my farts don't make a sound

Weapon of choice in a food fight

This brought back SOOO many memories 😭

Bringing back primary school memories

Chris tingle

It’s a christingle

Sputnik 1?

Don't know the name but made one in primary school

I Remeber them from school! They were so fun to make , we had sweets on them though

Now listen carefully. Put the candle back!

Tradition!

This just unlocked a memory. I completely forgot about these.

Clearly it’s a bomb

We used to make these xD

Tambomb

Food fight weapon of choice

Raisins? We used to get dolly mixture!

I was getting children's rhyme vibes, the Butcher the baker the candlestick maker except there's no Butcher, presumably someone threw him off and he swam home

Back in my day they used cloves and it would be decorated like a flamboyant Pinhead from Hellraiser.

I remember making those at school 😂😂

We used to do this in school every year (previous school) and idk y but we just did and give us "religion" talks 1once a year in the hall

Yep it’s a Christingle

It’s a Cristingle. I’ve made a few of these before.

Isn’t it supposed to have cloves in it as well? I’m sure I remember being made to make these as a tiny person for Xmas. Good ol catholic schools.

Yep, Christingle.

Everybody has a plumbus in their home!

A fancy tampon orange.

Christingle. We made something similar in primary school and that was around 30 years ago but it has something to do with Jesus.

Christingle blud

Bit early

Christingle, a woman who taught both me, my brother and my dad used to come in for christingle every year and slowly wither away in front of us.

Its a Christingle. It's a representation of Christian symbols. The candle being Jesus the light of the world. I think the four sticks and raisins are the corners of the world. There's often a red band around the middle representing the whole of creation. Common in many churches during Advent.

I see the band now.

I made one of these before, it’s a Cristingle, but it looks like a planet

It's a christingle that another MANKY child made, not your own kids one

Christingle orange- should have sweets not dry ass raisins

It’s called a christingle but most would call it a Christmas frag grenade

Fucking hell. Before I zoomed in I thought that was a tampon sticking out of the top!

I made them too 😭😭

Church of England schools did it. I don't understand why a secular school is doing it, and why they switched the sweets for raisins haha.

.. raisins??? Why! That's disappointing.. Normally, they're dolly mixtures

I loved getting these as a kid than my mum wouldn’t allow me to eat the dolly mixtures as we didn’t know who had held them before hand.

A bomb

fuck haven’t seen that in like 25 years

If the kid can’t explain they aren’t doing school right

He said he was doing as he was told but had no idea what it was

Hahaha

I like it, Picasso

Fruitcake

Yep, bloody Christingle! Had a mad dash to Sainsburys on my lunch to purchase oranges and dolly mixtures for my kids for tomorrow. Am choosing not to attend the church service.

genuinely thought that was a tampon

Real question is why there’s raisins on it. My school gave us marshmallows and fruit pastilles

Christingle, it's a Jebus thing.

Took me way too long to realise that's a candle and not a tampon

Christingle celebration. The candle is jesus presiding over the world (the orange). The red tape around the orange represents blood of christ. The 4 toothpicks with raisins ( or dolly mixtures) are gods creations of the 4 seasons.

I thought that was a tampon in the top

A grenade

a weird bong

Your christmas present

Oh wow, some primary school memories just came flooding back.

A christingle

I set my fringe on fire with one of these things while parading it round the church, serves me right for trying to eat the dolly mixtures we used in place of raisins.

cristingle

Heathen.

Christingle, watch James Acaster about it.

I remember primary schools use to bring us to church when no one was Christian and we did this lol

Torture device 👀

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christingle

A christingle a primary school legend 😅

This just unlocked a hidden memory

Christingle, top comments made me grin lol

Christingle they are awesome.

It’s a Cristingle, I used to get these when I went to the village hall at Xmas; except ours had jelly tots on so they were better

Sputnik

An enthusiastic homemade Terrys Raisin Orange.

ART??

thing at the top reminds me of an applicator.

aww the memories of making this as a kid in school and not being tempted to eat the sweets. I went to a C of E school so did this every year.

Christingle. Not sure why a tampon was used tho?

Used to love getting those but ours had jelly tots and raisins. We used to reinsert the toothpicks in at 90⁰ to the candle to create some sort of holy cannon-armed Jesus mech.

First I heard of christingle was on James Acaster's netflix special, I thought it was completely made up and silly.

Thats an 'Orange pomander'. They used to carry them during the days of the black death during the Victorian era.

It's a 5G brainwash and control unit. You'll all be vegatised by the morning.

It doesn't matter...you have to say...oh thank you that looks absolutely fantastic...and you have to keep it on show else they'll think you hate it!!!

The christingle begins with an orangeee 🔥

They still do this??

It's a crystingal (spelling?) Religious but I forget which

I made that when I was at school. Idk candle with chocolate

Thank you, I learned something new!

I thought that was a tampon for a second…!

i want to know where a child acquired this or the idea to construct it. what purpose does it serve. childrens minds truly are terrifyingly fascinating

Satanic ritualistic candle beware! 👹

Up until 3 years ago I thought these were called Chris Cringle.

Never seen one before but immediately recognized it by James Acaster's description of it in his standup stuff

Aahhhhh Christingle. Reminds me of primary school and eating all the jelly tots and trying not to burn my hand with candle wax.

That would be an orange. It's a citrus fruit.

Sputnik? (Or a very sad looking Christingle).