Feeling Guilty about…a lot of things.

  1. You need better friends. Also, maybe reflect on why you feel the need for others’ approval of your life choices. Before you share so much personal info with people you know, ask yourself what you hope to gain from sharing, and if they’re a safe person to share with. Just food for thought from someone who’s been in and out of therapy for years.

  2. I have been in therapy for a long time. A lot of My friends are pregnant/trying so we talk about our birthing plans and after birth situations enough for me to feel safe sharing with them. Now I know better :)

  3. Its abusive not to have more than one kid? You need better friends. I dont know if I will ever be able to have another child after this one due to health issues and age. I dont understand how people can be so judgemental.

  4. I’m married to an only child (I’m one of three) and let me tell you, it was spending time with him and his parents that made me realise how horrifically abusive my upbringing was, and that I needed to go no contact with my own parents. His childhood was idyllic, his parents are so loving and supportive and unlike me, he hasn’t needed to spend the price of a new car on therapy.

  5. The worst part is that the person who said that is more of a mother figure to me, and has 3 kids while openly admitting she should have stopped at 1. I’m disappointed in her take as well.

  6. 1st, pumping and bottling IS breastfeeding. 2nd, do whatever is right for you, whether that's pumping, nursing, or formula or any combination. Honestly your baby will not care what you choose.

  7. Wow, I think the people who made you feel guilty are way out of line! Every person is responsible for making their own decisions about their body. You do what's best for you. Fed is best and your family decisions are between you and your partner. Wishing you the best ❤️

  8. First of all breast-feeding is a personal choice, and you are not a bad mother if you decide not to.

  9. This. I’m 2 months into exclusive pumping and it’s hard. I spend close to 2.5 hours pumping a day. Idk why I keep going. I think I’m just stubborn but it is exhausting and honestly mentally taxing. Op if pumping is the journey you want to take then that is awesome! Just make sure you do it because it’s what you want and not what other people expect of you. Fed is best and formula is not the enemy

  10. I was forced into only pumping because my baby couldn’t latch correctly and you know what? It SUCKED. All I did was pump. I missed out on time with my baby. Even with properly fitted flanges and lubrication, my nipples were SO uncomfortable and sensitive all the time.

  11. That’s something nobody talks about with pumping… you literally have to forgo hours of physical contact with your infant because you’re hooked up to a machine. And babies need all that physical contact, possibly even more beneficial than the breastmilk in the bottle. I pretty much had the same journey you described with my first baby.

  12. Very similar experience here! I spent more time with the pump than I did my newborns and my husband was drowning. I started dropping pumps and my supply slowly dwindled but I got to spend more time with my babies and I know that was the right choice! Exclusive pumping is no joke. My therapist even said it’s pretty awful.

  13. First, pumping is breastfeeding. And regardless, a fed baby is a healthy baby. These people aren’t very good friends. You get to make all choices about your body and family.

  14. I'm in the same boat with BFing vs pumping. I just don't want my boobs touched. At all. My mother in law has pushed and pushed me for a reason and I don't have a "good one" so I just keep saying that baby will be fed and leave it at that. I was exclusively formula fed. My husband was BF for 3 years. The grandma's can shut up lol we both turned out fine

  15. My MIL is giving me so much shit for being scared of birth, and breastfeeding. She never fails to make me feel insufficient in terms of preparedness and being “motherly”. It sucks, but so does her opinion.

  16. Honestly, I thought I wrote this. I gave birth 11 days ago and I'm uncomfortable breast feeding and I'm trying to pump and supplement with formula. The down side is I'm only able to pump 20ml a day, so he's mostly formula fed, but he's healthy. I also am of the opinion on if we have more kids they will be adopted because I WILL NOT GO THROUGH LABOR AGAIN. me and my son almost died. My doctor refused to tie my tubes during my emergency c section, "just incase I change my mind" so my partner made an apt for a vasectomy, and got absolutely no push back...so just be prepared for that. The only people that gave me grief for my choices was medical staff, but I'm in the southern US, so that might play a part. The few friends and family we have were very supportive of all our choices tho. Sounds like you just might need to find actual friends /:

  17. Yeah they made me sign a consent form for the tubal, and gave me a lot of flack whilst doing so. I don’t mind, I will be happiest with a tubal, and I don’t want them saying “just in case you change your mind”. Thats. Bullshit.

  18. Not breastfeeding because you are uncomfortable with it is a totally valid reason for not doing it. You are a person too and you matter too. I didn’t breastfeed for similar reasons (post partum depression playing a big role in it) and I still have no regrets. My son is now 1.5 and you can’t tell who was breastfed and who wasn’t. All that matters is that they were fed.

  19. You need new friends! Being “one and done” is normal. Exclusively pumping is common and an absolutely valid way to feed your baby.

  20. Your friends suck! I have friends who never breastfed coz it just didn’t work, I have friends who did it for a few months but got horrific breastfeeding Dysphoria and switched to formula, and friends who fed til 2 yrs and I think no one should judge.

  21. Just wanting to add to what everyone else has said - I am currently reading "Cribsheet", the sequel to "Expecting better" by Emily Oster, where she looks into the scientific studies which have been done into everything related to having a newborn. In the section about breastfeeding, she finds that almost all the long-term claimed benefits have no scientific evidence. Here is a list of all the claimed benefits of breastfeeding, with the ones where she couldn't find any actual robust scientific evidence crossed out. Hope this helps you feel better about your decision.

  22. My mom breastfed both of her babies and still got breast cancer. I know that’s completely anecdotal, but I feel like breast cancer is soooo common that while it’s nice to have something that lowers the risk a bit, it’s not a complete guarantee

  23. OP, I work in materity services and see at least 1/3 of my patients choosing to formula feed from the very beginning. Whichever method you choose is right because it's YOUR decision. Yes, breastfeeding has it's benefits, however fed is best, whether this is breastfed, pumped breast milk, or formula. You know your mind, and body far better than anyone else, therefore it's your decision. In regards to birthing methods, again whatever is safest for you both physically and mentally is what's in the best interest of your child. I predominantly work with patients undergoing caesarean, or forceps delivery, neither of which make them any less of a mother. Like you said yourself, you've grown this entire human being yourself, how they then enter the world is not the key part. Please don't let your friends dishearten you, or make you feel like a bad person. You've got this. I wish you the very best for a happy, safe delivery, and a well fed bubba.

  24. I was exclusively breastfed to 6 months, and wasn't weaned until 2. I've got autism. Proponents of EBF like to say it fixes everything and prevents this or that but your baby is going to be whatever it's going to be.

  25. Have any of these so called “friends” ever breastfed? Have they tried to breastfeed and baby didn’t latch right? Did their nipples bleed? Did they get recurring bouts of mastitis or thrush? Did they deal with under supply or over supply? Did the hormones from breastfeeding continue to fuck with then long after postpartum hormones balanced out? Additionally, have they CARRIED and BIRTHED and RAISED multiple children? I was an extremely judge mental mom before I was actually a mom. Do what’s best for you and your sweet family, mama.

  26. Girl yes that mastitis ughh! My younger sister ended up in the emergency room with mastitis when she had her first.

  27. Got my tubes tied after having my first and only. He’s almost 3 wks now. I have no regrets at all. We knew before conception that we only wanted one and in the future we’d love to foster or adopt. So many woman in my family think I’ll regret it, or my kid will somehow be ruined. Also didn’t get my little boy circumcised, which is another thing they feel the need to comment on. I can’t even make myself care about their opinions at this point. I’m happy with my choices, and my husband supports me.

  28. Commenting on the circumcising of your baby to me is HILARIOUS. why do other people care so much about a penis that is not theirs? So weird.

  29. With very little respect for your friends, do what is best for you! What an absolutely ridiculous response from people who should be looking out for you. Fed is best so find the best way to make that happen for your family and tell everyone else exactly where they can stick their opinions.

  30. Fed is best no matter how you feed trust me!!!! In terms of birth you’re right any safe way is the best! In terms of siblings that’s your choice !! Btw get new friends these are not your people

  31. Your “friends” are jerks. Not wanting to is a totally valid reason not to breastfeed. Whether your baby is directly breastfed, fed pumped milk, formula, or a combination they will turn out fine. There isn’t a spot on the kindergarten sign up forms asking how your kid was fed as a baby. All that matters is that your baby is loved and fed. FWIW, as a second time mom, I think your attitude toward birth is really healthy. I tried to control the situation way too much the first time. It’s better to go with the flow as much as you can. You’re going to do great!

  32. Okay I don't know who you were talking to but those are NOT your friends. I am also weird about breastfeeding I don't like touching for long amounts of time and I also have two young children that will need my attention so I cannot hold baby to feed for long stretches when young children also need assistance. I'm going to be pumping using a hands free pump. This is also better for the relationship with father because bottle feeding allows both parents to establish a food bond which is so important. Fed is best literally no argument my other children were formula fed and are fine at age 4 and 3. Don't listen to people challenging your parenting decisions when you are taking care of the babies needs.

  33. Are you me? I am with you on ALL of these, with the exception that we will be exclusively formula feeding. You need more supportive friends. You are making fine decisions that sound like the best choices for you and baby.

  34. I don't have any advice (except obviously get better friends), but wanted to share that you're not alone! I'm also planning to exclusively pump. Pumping is breastfeeding; please don't let your friends tell you otherwise! And if you decide that pumping isn't right for you either, that is a totally valid choice that deserves no judgement or guilt. Come join us at

  35. OP, I’m so sorry you’re getting such pushback from your friends. There’s no shame in not breastfeeding. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable about it. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. I’ve breastfed my babies, and while I wouldn’t trade it for anything, there’s been times when I wished I would have supplemented because even with pumping, my babies never took bottles. I have friends that felt uncomfortable about breastfeeding and ended up formula feeding and their babies were happy and healthy. Fed is best, no matter what the method is. You got this mama. You’ll know what feels right once baby is born. Just focus on taking care of that sweet little bundle, and taking care of you.

  36. I’m 2 weeks postpartum with my second and I also HATE my nipples touched. It’s definitely a thing that is unconventional, but it is true. I exclusively pumped for a full 16 weeks but it wasn’t successful.

  37. Man... I'm 33 and just had my first child and fuck these people what is right for you is the correct choice. Postpartum depression is real and if you listen to these people it will not help. Do right by yourself that is the correct way to handle decisions. Fed baby is best for not doubt yourself. You need a c section that's fine you can't breastfeed whether it's because of production issues or mental or you don't want to it is 100% ok. Personally I really wish I didn't breastfeed because of sleep issues I'm slowly switching to formula.

  38. You need to do what's best for you. Mentally and physically and emotionally. You are just as important as the baby. You take care of the baby so you need to take care of yourself. If breastfeeding bothers you to that extent don't let anyone make you feel bad. Your tunes being tied is what you want to do. That's all that matters. You need friends that'll understand and not make you feel selfish for your choices that you are making for your own well being which is also the baby's well being. Don't listen to them

  39. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your breastfeeding or childbearing choices. It sounds like you shared this information with other people to get reassurance. A lot of your post feels like you’re dealing with a lot of guilt around your choices. You gotta be gentle with yourself. Only you know what’s going to work for you best as a new mother. It’s best not to look outward for validation around your choices because something about decisions involving kids really triggers the worst and most out of pocket opinions from people, even friends and family. Pregnancy is tough and it’s so lonely sometimes. It’s so important to have a support system. Try to lean into people who are willing to give you the space to listen and support you and don’t have the desire to push back on your personal decisions. At the end of the day, you’re the only person who falls responsible for your children.

  40. Are you saying these to your friends? I wouldn’t bother with friends like that. They’re real assholes. Birth how you want. It doesn’t matter. Adopt if you want, no one’s opinion means anything. Breastfeed, don’t breastfeed, formula or wet nurse or whatever. It’s your choice and no one else’s. At the end of the day, a breastfed baby and a formula baby eat the same dirt at the park and it’s all fine.

  41. Just wanted to chime in that everything you posted about I’ve searched multiple times to find others who feel the same way: hyper-sensitive nipple issues, knowing I only want one child while being pregnant with first, trusting birth method to medical professionals. It’s sad but I just don’t tell most people and try to find solidarity online. And here we are making the best choices for us and in turn our kids! ❤️

  42. Fed is best. Do what you want. They're your nipples. And to be brutally honest, my nipples were cracked, sore, and bleeding for a month until they toughened up. But that was my choice. Whatever you choose is perfect and right for you and your little one.

  43. Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. People project a lot and think one way of parenting is correct. Nope. There are many ways to parent all of which work for different families.

  44. Not to beat a dead horse but your friends suck. You don't have to justify your life decisions to them or to anybody. It's your body, your family, your choice.

  45. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist that deals with maternal mental health, and have similar concerns to you about my nipples and breastfeeding.

  46. All of this is the same as me. No plans to breast feed for my own sake, not planning a second kid but would love a dog, and don’t have a birth plan, happy to go with the flow wether I push her out or get a c section, Ned’s or no meds, I don’t care I just want her to be born in the safest way.

  47. Let me just say, choosing to pump is the opposite of selfish. Breastfeeding can be hard, but when it's going well it is 100% the easiest way to feed a baby. I EBF and if I pump and give a bottle it seems to take a long time to get the baby to finish the bottle. When at the breast I just feed for as long as the baby is hungry and don't need to worry about how much they're drinking. And it takes twice as long to pump and feed. Plus dealing with milk storage and bringing it along when you go out. Breastfeeding and formula feeding are both easier than exclusively pumping, so if you choose to pump rather than formula feed, that's a big sacrifice for your baby.

  48. Do not feel guilty! I just listened to a podcast where Emily Oster was the guest and she said there’s no proven data that shows babies who are breastfed reap any more benefits than formula babies. There’s too many other factors to really determine whether they have higher IQ’s, healthier, etc. (such as growing up in loving homes, have well educated parents, parents have more or less income, etc.). So do not let anyone make you feel guilty. It’s your life and your family! So do what you want to do.

  49. OP I just wanted to say, it's your damn baby, your damn body, and no one else's damn place to say shit. I'm glad that your husband is supportive of your decisions. I hate this day in age where people feel so entitled to the point where they think their opinions on other people's business is honestly welcome?

  50. Oh my gosh, so thankful and relieved someone else feels just about the same. I have never been conventional in any way, but apparently it was not expected that I would be unconventional when it comes to pregnancy and birth. Anyway, this comment encouraged me to stop questioning myself so much, thank you 😭

  51. I’m 14w5d and same to all of the above (except I work in a very large theatre and we already have a dog). Super reassuring to hear I’m not the only one!

  52. It's so, so okay to feel that way. As a trans person who's had chest dysphoria for a long time, if I hadn't already had a mastectomy I probably wouldn't breastfeed. Ultimately, you do what YOU need to do to be a happy healthy parent - forcing yourself into anguish because a lot of people think breastfed is The Only Acceptable Way won't be good for baby either. <3

  53. honey I completely quit pumping/feeding and breastfeeding 2 weeks in bc I have a sensory disorder and just couldn't handle it. tell the people who are putting you down that it's none of their business. always remember that FED IS BEST not "breastfed is best" it's not. it's hard and stressful and can be painful. if you don't want to do it you don't have to. formula actually can be easier on you and your partner. follow your heart and your gut. you've got this

  54. Fuck that noise. I gave up on breastfeeding my first pretty quickly and I will not be attempting it with my second this time. Also are you sure these people are your friends?

  55. They are well intentioned, but we are all VERY opinionated. I would drop them, but I know ive had opinions about their choices in the past tht probably were not received well. I have just now chosen to stop telling them my plans.

  56. I agree that no one has a day on what you do with your body, breastfeeding or otherwise. I would also add that adoption is not the answer to wanting more children. Adoption should be for the benefit of the child only, never because people want a family or the experience of having children

  57. You definitely need better friends. There’s days I pump and give a bottle cuz I just don’t feel like sitting with my boob out. And if you want your tubes tied, do it! If you wanna have just one kid, do it! If you wanna puppy siblings, go for it! Who cares what those super judgy assholes thinks? Not this mama that’s for sure lol. I decided to have 2 kids because I wanted 2 kids. I also have a dog. ITs a lot lol.

  58. Your friends sound a little judgemental. Do what makes you feel right and comfortable for you (just like they are doing for themselves). Pumping is a lot of work, I would say there is nothing selfish about it

  59. Your friends aren’t supportive, their opinions are definitely weird and I think you need more supportive friends. I am glad your husband is more supportive, but you should definitely not be feeling guilty about any of these things, the only feeling you should have is embarrassed that your friends have such uncalled for opinions. I don’t even understand people who are against pumping or against people only having one child. Pumping delivers the same food to the same baby, if the goal is to feed your child they are literally eating the same thing as breastfeed babies. As a working mom who had trouble with breastfeeding I would have lost it if someone shamed me for pumping/ supplementing with formula/ transitioned early to entirely formula for my own sanity and told me I was selfish. ‘Genuinely abusive’ to have one child is not even tethered to reality. Tons of people have one child for so many reasons. Actual child abuse is horrific, having one child is … a normal decision based on the individual needs and desires of the family. Birthing methods are all valid and whatever way you do it is a decision you and your doctor came together based on your wants, mental well-being and medical history. I would seriously just talk to these people about the weather from now on.

  60. YOU need to be happy and comfortable as well as your baby. Your baby won't feel good if you force yourself to do something that feels bad. And your baby wouldn't want you to, if you could ask them. Formula these days is really good, so there's no reason to put all this pressure on yourself. In the end it's you who has to go through this, not your friends. So make the choices that suit your family.

  61. Agree with everyone here that you need better for friends. All of that is just terrible and I would stop sharing anything personal with them. If they ask questions, tell them you're going to keep your private business private since they have shown they can't be supportive or helpful. Saying they hope your birth plan can't happen is so weird and wrong. As long as you're being medically safe I see no reason for input.

  62. You are a good mom, making the choices that are right for you and your family may look different than your friends and they have no right to shame you. I recently listened to an interview with Emily Oster on the “Good Inside” podcast that touches on this. All choices made for the best comfort of mom and family are the best choice, period. Sucking up through things you don’t have to go through and just plain do not want does not make you a better parent.

  63. F*ck those people. I'm sorry but anyone you tells you those things are just down right not good for you. Do what is best for you and your family.

  64. As someone who chose to BF exclusively for Baby 1 and am hoping to do the same for Baby 2, fuck anyone making you feel guilty. It is a huge undertaking that though rewarding, can be emotionally challenging, especially in that first month or two. I had a very hard time. I chose to power through but I don't think one iota less of anyone who says, "This is not for me, and that is okay" Sometimes I think less of myself for NOT doing that and quitting sooner for my mental health!

  65. I know women that have had unmedicated vaginal births, medicated vaginal birth and cesareans! Each woman has their own pros/cons lists for their births - each way is beautiful and each way had its own hardships so your friends are sooooo wrong about there being a “right way” to birth. Just spend some time researching all the various options - like vaginal/csection and various pain management options, newborn procedures, etc. and make the decision that you and your doctors/midwives think are best!!! Also, even if you wanted the same things that your friends do, birth doesn’t always go as planned! I think people put too much pressure on things going exactly their way and when they don’t they think the birth is awful - ideally you can have some of your preferences and then just go with the flow!

  66. You don’t even have to try even a little to breastfeed! You don’t have to see a lactation consultant in the hospital (if that’s where you’ll be laboring) and you don’t even have to try to latch even one time.

  67. Everyone will have an opinion babe, especially about women’s bodies. Only your opinion matters. Get yourself prepared for both… nursing & formula feeding. What’s right will come naturally. Mama knows best.

  68. Fuck whatever anyone else thinks. You are a whole person. Your wants and needs don’t go away just because you have a child. Here’s the best advice I was ever given about motherhood: do what works for you. Period.

  69. I had a c section bc my birth plan was “whatever keeps me and baby alive and as healthy as possible” and I formula feed due to my mental health. My husband is going to have a vasectomy soon because I don’t want to be pregnant again and if we want another child we will adopt. You’re not alone and your choices are valid! I personally don’t tell people all of those things if I think they’ll make negative comments.

  70. Please feel free to PM me if you want to hear my full “you can do and feel exactly how you want about all aspects of motherhood” lecture/pep talk.

  71. I was also very worried about birth and breastfeeding. With the epidural and some post birth painkillers my experience was much better than I feared. Also breast feeding was so much easier than I feared, and is less work than pumping. That said, maybe try and see what works for you. There should not be judgment about what is best for you and your baby, except that a fed baby is best (this I can attest to, especially after hours of screaming before my milk came in).

  72. I felt the exact same about my nipples, but surprisngly breastfeeding didnt bother me one bit! Now that baby has weaned herself (shes 2) im back to nobody touches them ever lol

  73. I refused to breastfeed because I am on the spectrum a little and struggled enough with my changing pregnant body. Baby is just fine on formula and it ended up that he needed 3 weeks in the NICU and my milk didn’t even come in.

  74. I was always told fed is best. At the end of the day it doesn't matter how. Also your "friends" sound shitty

  75. Your friends are awful. I can’t imagine thinking any of these things if my friend came to me to discuss their pregnancy/birth/future plans, let alone actually saying any of these things to someone I care about. And I can’t imagine any of the people who love and respect me being so judgmental and mean if I were to share my thoughts with them.

  76. I would stop sharing this stuff with your friends if they're going to say nasty stuff like that. 🤢 They sound horrible.

  77. Your friends sound like assholes, to put it bluntly. I went in with the “I don’t care how I give birth as long as baby is healthy” approach too, and my “plan” or lack thereof went pretty well - I was on the fence about epidural and then ended up needing one, but otherwise everything went well.

  78. Hi sister. You’re not alone. I’m a ftm and 22 weeks and I’ve had a really tough pregnancy so far too. I don’t want more children and my partner thinks I’ll be giving him 3. No way in hell that’s happening 😭

  79. Just want to say your plans aren’t wrong or bad, and you’re allowed to want them! While some benefits of breastfeeding do come from the skin to skin connection, you can still get that without nipple contact by making sure to get skin-to-skin time on your upper chest. A lot of the benefits are still present, as far as I can see, by pumping and feeding that way. And if supply is an issue, formula is still loads better than not eating! You want a fed baby, full stop. However you need to make that happen is ok as long as baby is healthy and cared for. Also, you’re right, birth should happen how you’re most comfortable. There is no “best way” bar none. There is a best way for you. And that factors in whatever happens during your pregnancy and labor, what you’re comfortable with, and what is feasible given your health, mental state, and resources. People can quote statistics to you until they’re blue in the face. But the fact remains that every birth situation happens because of a variety of factors. The most important being, baby can’t stay inside forever. I’m a C-section baby. I plan on having a home birth. My mom was not wrong for going to the hospital, or listening to the doctor’s best advice for how to get me out and keep both of us safe. If I need it, I’m glad I live close enough that a hospital is an option for me. Also! I’m an only child. I had dogs. I love people and I’m fine socially. I wasn’t harmed by not having a sibling. But adopting is ok too! There’s not one right way to make a family. I am sorry for writing a book, I just hate that some people have been hurt by the “momolympics” tendency to insist things can only be done one way. And the best way to respond is to not respond. Or tell them it’s your family, your life. And not up for their debate. And possibly look into nicer friends. I’m so sorry. Sending internet good vibes to you.

  80. As someone who had a lot of very similar feelings let me tell you…your friends suck and are assholes! I have similar issues with my nipples being touched. I was able to exclusively pump for 4 months but my supply was never great and it was so much extra work that we went to exclusive formula feeding with our pediatrician’s blessing. I don’t want to discourage you from pumping if you want to try but it did trigger similar feelings in me as far as nipple touching. I developed a condition called DMER and I have to wonder if that condition could have something to do with how I have always felt uncomfortable and not a fan of my breasts being touched. I have plenty of friends who chose exclusive formula feeding for a variety of reasons, work, mental health, medical issues damaging supply, etc and all their babies are thriving. There is nothing wrong with this option. I had a c section, I was so out of it i didn’t do skin to skin and they didn’t offer it to me. I still have a wonderful bond with my babies (I planned on being one and done but had twins!). There is also nothing wrong with being one and done and your friends have no business telling you how YOUR family needs to look or how you should feed or birth your baby. I encourage you to check out the one and done subreddit and check out the formula mom on Instagram. You are going to be an incredible mom. All your baby needs is to be fed somehow and cleaned up and loved. Your choices are all valid.

  81. Please don’t feel guilty about any of this. Your decisions about your body, pregnancy, and your family planning are no one’s business but yours. Nothing that you have stated in your post is wrong, or abusive, or anything to feel even remotely guilty about. You are entitled to do what you are comfortable with, you’re not hurting anyone. Please be gentle with yourself. Your friends suck.

  82. You need new friends! There's nothing wrong with having an only child, if that's the route you want to take. My husband is an only child and he's one of the most caring, loving people I know. I exclusively pumped bc my baby couldn't latch and I was uncomfortable cutting her tongue just for the sake of breastfeeding (her dentist and pediatrician assured me that she shouldn't have any problems outside of breastfeeding and she's 15 months now and having no issues with speech). My girl is perfect and healthy! Our pediatrician assured me she's getting the same benefits from the milk, though I am missing some benefits, but that's worth it to me Lastly, your birth will go how it goes. I had a very fast, easy, completely unmedicated birth. I had an awful pregnancy so I had lots of plans and supports ready to make birth easier and meaningful and I didn't get to do any of them bc when I got to the hospital they said they could see her head 🤣 Whether you have a cesarian or vaginal birth, medicated or unmedicated, you will be exactly the mother this baby needs.

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