No leaving present after 5 years. Is it right to be offended?

  1. Sometimes you can work hard be liked well enough but not really be considered as a friend or part of the in clique so nobody really remembered to bother with a gift.

  2. People have left my place after being ‘that guy’ and we still got him a gift. Even if someone irritates the life out of you, there’s no reason to be a cunt about it

  3. Plus people get annoyed by all these donation pots and it takes one person to have to step up and actually organise it which generally no one wants the responsibility of doing. If a company itself doesn’t step up for a retirement or leaving gift, then why expect coworkers to foot the bill for a gift. This stupid workplace vulture culture needs to stop.

  4. If there's a culture and precedent of it being done for others, and you've been the one exception, then yes, you're right to feel offended.

  5. I left my old role of 4+ years in November 2020 whilst we were all working remotely and when I had been assigned to a new team just a month prior. My farewell was being invited to a Friday zoom quiz the new team held and logging off. My husband left his job at a similar time and was sent champagne and a gift for our new puppy and I remember feeling so let down since he'd only worked at his place for 2 years in comparison.

  6. It's been a while since someone else in my team left but personally I organised a gift for an old manager. They moved teams after 3 years so we organised during covid a gift sent to her home as a thank you.

  7. Have a lot of people left recently? People might be fed up of collections and with the cost of living as well they may have just stopped.

  8. I think a big part of whether that kind of thing happens or not is often what your direct line manager is like.

  9. It’s was probably out of laziness, I have seen this happen In my company a few times, the manager needs to/ask someone to get ppl to contribute and organise a gift and they’re either lazy or terribly unorganised. .

  10. Good point - I've seen this too. The first manager didn't bother organising anything for one guy leaving, so I initiated it. Then the second manager who replaced him thought it was "our" job to organise a card for some other person leaving - clearly not realising what it means to "manage" a team

  11. Yes, you are right to be offended. And it's the reason that I no longer put money in anyone else's collections wherever I work now. I suggest in your next place of work you do the same.

  12. At my last job, I never contributed to collections and I didn’t get (or expect to get) anything when I left. Didn’t care at all, it’s not like those colleagues are my friends.

  13. I'm not at all sure what it is about the world of work, but you can be a great colleague, a decent co worker, a real asset to the work place, and still when it comes time to move on be treated like total Sh*t.

  14. Personal I guess, but not for me. Works work, when I leave I won’t see 99% of them ever again. Be civil and stay friends with the good ones. A friend or two is better gift than a shit mug and a bottle of whisky. Actually I take the whisky bit back.

  15. Are you one of the typical Redditors who avoids socialising with colleagues, leaves at 5pm on the dot and complains about people in the office on here? If so, I wouldn’t be surprised! Otherwise, you have my sympathy.

  16. Being offended is a personal experience. You have every right to be offended by anything that happens to you. Other people might not be offended by the same things. There are no global standards on this.

  17. I get that. Personally I expect its complete oversight but reinforces one of the reasons I left was for lack of appreciation when I go over and above.

  18. We never give anyone shit when they leave our practice apart from a farewell, was the same at the last two I’ve been at. I did 15 years at one practice and left with no leaving gift and never even thought about it. We just had a good night out and stayed in touch afterwards.

  19. Small company served 26 years, had major issues with mobility so told the boss I would take time off to get well - went back 3 weeks later, boss told everyone I had retired and had emptied my tool boxes - personal tools never seen again! Was asked to train some of the guys as there were jobs only I had ever done and also carried on with surveys and inspections - after a month no pay packet and no expenses! Now self employed and doing quite well, it seems quite a lot of the customers did not want me to retire either! Should I show loyalty and refer the customers back to my old boss - nah stuff him! company has only half the previous workforce! I’m recruiting!

  20. I’ve never expected any leaving gift from anywhere. I’ve always had one, but wouldn’t be fussed if I didn’t get one.

  21. We have to remember a job is what pays the bills it’s not ever personal. You can always be replaced and you should always just do your job and not more. Don’t have expectations either. That’s also why you shouldn’t be loyal to a job and always upskill and apply for higher paying jobs. No job appreciates you. You’re there to work and go home. You provide a service in exchange for money. Simple.

  22. I can see why you'd feel that way, if you'd chipped in to previous people's leaving gifts - but I simply don't think most people care as much as you did.

  23. I’ve been working for 20 years at the same job and will be retiring in the summer. I hate having a fuss made about collections so I’ve asked management to keep it lowkey.

  24. It really depends on whoever it you're working for and with. My girlfriend just had her last day at a junior school here in the UK. Despite them overworking her due to being short staffed and getting on her case for getting sick time for a couple weeks earlier in the year, the headteacher still made a point of getting all the staff together to thank her for everything and wished her well in future. They even forked up the cash for £80 worth in Primark/Amazon vouchers and £30 of her favourite perfume. She of course would have preferred no fuss be made because she is just generally a very anxious person when it comes to being made the centre of attention.

  25. I worked 15 years in a place, always went above and beyond, was generally well liked, and didn't get a single thing when I left. I literally had meetings up til 5pm, and at 4.59, one person just went "oh right it's your last day, good luck with the next job" and that was it.

  26. Yeah. Sounds superficial but little things like that do matter and it was a big part of why I left my previous role.

  27. I'm a teacher and I left a school after 14 years and my department didn't even get me a card. It was awful because I had written them cards and taken in two boxes of biscuits and small presents for the department. I went home and wept and wept and then I remembered that I left because the place was toxic. Someone who'd been there 28 years and retired when I left also got nothing from another department. Sometimes it is all about the workplace and not about you.

  28. My work has a massive turnover rate being a call centre, and while there are a few people (mostly in management) who have stuck around throughout the 5.5 years I’ve been there, a lot of the friends I made when I first started working while at uni have moved on to other things.

  29. I’ve found that the pandemic / WFH has changed this massively. People sometimes can’t be bothered to even sign e cards let alone contribute to a gift for someone then rarely see in person. It’s just changed the dynamic, I personally have not contributed to gifts for people selfishly as I doubt I’ll ever see them again and don’t feel connected to them. If it was in an office and someone was organising a ‘goodbye’ where everyone gathers round and says nice things and gives the gift then I probably would of…

  30. It's awkward when you see one person leave, they get gifts, another does and they don't get anything, you know they weren't respected..

  31. Truthfully, the way things are today, I wouldn't expect anybody to go to any expense on my account. That being said, when my manager and best friend was made redundant out of spite a few years ago, we absolutely spoiled her with leaving presents.

  32. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable or overly sensitive - leaving gifts & cards are customary in the UK, especially if you’ve been there a few years. But it’s a reminder (and one that I’ve also had) that colleagues are not friends, even if you get on well with them. Don’t dwell on it - move on with your new role, and good luck!

  33. I had the exact same thing happen when I left during COVID after 5 years. No gift, no gift card, just a barely signed leaving card.

  34. I think it's OK to feel a bit put out. I left a team I had been on for 8 years to move into a different area of the same company. All I got was my soon to be ex boss telling me not to come down and bother the team when they're working. My last day we had a team meeting and didn't even get a shout out.

  35. Yeah, I get feeling disappointed OP. I paid into my work’s social fund for years, and it paid for flowers for marriages, births and bereavements. I had several bereavements, a marriage and 2 births, and received nothing. Now they are insisting everyone pitch in a tenner - I’m not keen to pay for others to get what I never got, and wonder if I’m being petty? But yeah, paid in for years, got nothing when I qualified, and now being told I need to contribute for others to get? It’s not a pleasant feeling. You contributed for years for others, and got nothing when it was your turn. It’s only natural for that to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

  36. Tell them you're having to tighten your belt for personal finance reasons. No need to give a tenner if they gave sod all.

  37. My wife left her job after 8 years and was devastated that she didn’t get a gift. She had said that she always made sure to arrange a whip round and buy a gift for anyone who left. Turns out people only got gifts etc because she was the pain in the arse who made sure it happened.

  38. I worked for the same company from the age of 18 until I was 40. When I was Ill health retired eventually I received nothing. No card, not even a text message from any of my colleagues. We used to socialise together, go to gigs etc, so this hit me really hard. My only thoughts were that it was mostly men that I worked with? But it still really upset me.

  39. I wouldn't feel too hard done by, sometimes employers try too hard in that regard and it can be totally overbearing.

  40. There’s a fairly good chance that the person who usually organised this sort of shit has left. I find that it my company it’s really hit and miss - it’s left up to the department head or the closest friends of a person to organise stuff. If you’ve got a boss who just dgaf, or no particularly close work friends, then chances are that nothing is getting done.

  41. Just left a job this week where I'd almost doubled their online sales in just over a year. Not even a phone call or email from my direct boss or the MD, both of whom I interacted with daily, to say thanks or good luck. Turns out it is as I always suspected; your work mates aren't your real mates, and your boss is almost certainly a prick.

  42. When I left my last company, the group of friends I had there organised a card and a bowling trip. Head of HR sent around an email about the 3 of us in the team leaving but neglected to mention me and after I asked why as I was leaving that day, she said "you've only been here for 2 1/2 years, no one knows who you are"

  43. I’d be pissed too after putting in my 2 cents for others. I wouldn’t entertain the thought though - You’re better than that…simply move on to your next chapter! All the best to you👍👊

  44. Generally you would expect a gift but it may be that your coworkers are just disorganized and could only get it together at a late stage to buy your card!

  45. I'd have thought that but a colleague a couple of weeks ago when I went for a coffee with them was like... "oh just signed your leaving card" and I was thinking they seemed well organised!

  46. Same happened to me a couple years ago, my time there had soured though and I was leaving because of a toxic narcissist ruining my experience there so I wasn’t surprised I didn’t get so much as a card

  47. Maybe everyone thought someone else was going to do it? Could be the case if you were relatively well-liked, so everyone thought "that's almost definitely been covered by someone". It should be your manager of course.

  48. I recently left a job of 4 years and didn't get so much as a card. Wouldn't have bothered me, but a guy left like 2.months before me and got a card and a leaving gift of a £100 voucher. That really pissed me off.

  49. One of the few good things that came from Covid is that when I left my job of 10 years. I did not have the boss I dislike (immensely) stand up and talk about me in front of people like he cared.

  50. Ah, this is why it is always best to have a rule for leaving cards but no gifts in any circumstances. This is because there is always going to be the situation eventually where someone gets forgotten and ends up feeling like you are now. I wouldn’t infer that they didn’t like you, it is more likely that, through laziness, and the assumption that someone else would do it, no one took it on themselves to organise the whip round.

  51. It’s probably just the fact you’re remote/hybrid now and no one thought to step up to organise it. I think I’d be a little put out but I doubt it’s really personal, in fact, it’s almost so rude it makes it even less likely to be deliberate, if that makes any sense.

  52. I got a bunch of flowers and no card after departing a business I'd worked for for nearly 15 years. There had been a restructure and I'd moved about the company a bit so most of the people I liked and had worked with a long time were based elsewhere or were also leaving. It still hurt a bit thought, so I get it. It was also early pandemic times so I was lucky to get anything really.

  53. OP, be offended. If others who’ve left got gifts and more than an E card be offended. You’ve given this place 5 years of your life! If you get an exit interview I think you can be a little mean in it haha

  54. Happened to me too, it sucks. Learn not to be attached to colleagues, they are not true friends. I also spent a lot of money over the years for gifts

  55. Could just be a sign of the current times and not something to take personally. Going round asking even for £5/£10 for a collection might seem a bit tricky when people could be quietly struggling.

  56. To be honest - I always get gifts for people at my work. When I went on paternity this year, I got nothing. I am sure it’s because it normally falls to me to sort things. I got messages from all my colleagues.

  57. I left a job after working there for over a decade last week. My colleagues organised cards and gifts, my boss did not even say goodbye before she left.

  58. OP did your job impress upon others? I’ve seen something happen in my place of work recently. Although the individual was “liked” by some they were invisible to others/the majority.

  59. This is why I never give money when people do those collections when people are leaving, never quite understood that, presents I won't do either, because I know they won't do the same for me when I leave.

  60. Depends on the sector. I work in the charity sector and orgs are usually generous with everyone’s leaving gifts (someone always get something & ppl can offer to donate to the leaving pot) but that’s bc the pay isn’t all that great most of the time.

  61. I've only ever worked in 1 place where it was the done thing and yeah, I'd be pretty pissed too if despite it being the norm, you didn't get one.

  62. Yes you can be offended by it but what's it going to do for you really. You left they obviously didn't care so you're better off.

  63. Farely common since covid for us. Always difficult getting a card signed by everyone so sending a link to contribute it simple

  64. My old workplace where I worked for almost 4 years, people would regularly got nuts on donations to leaving cards, people would end up with a decent £200-300 plus some simple physical gift. I know cause I helped organise some. We are talking all employers from graduates first job kinda thing to Director and VP roles. Everyone did collections.

  65. I was at company 6 years. I was well liked both as an employee and as a friend, but I think my boss was really upset/bitter that I left so I didn’t get a anything, not even a card. He did take me out to dinner with the team, although that was soured somewhat because once again he told me I was a moron for getting a dog and that he hated her. (He’s been saying that since I got her and I’m not sure what his problem is, we used to get on very well until the dog). Everyone else was lovely and has stayed in touch, but I guess some people/companies don’t think that way.

  66. We don’t do leaving collections. Always do collections for retirement, marriage, new baby. If you are leaving to better yourself then goodbye and good luck.

  67. It's quite common to move for an internal position in another team. Wouldn't necessarily expect anything in that case unless people were extremely generous.

  68. There needs to be someone to organise it. i.e. someone who's actually your friend, and wants to do something nice for you. Other people will then go along with donating etc. basically through conformity bias, but won't be rattling a collection tin or buying the gift with the collection money.

  69. This happened to me in August this year. Left a job of 4 years for a new job with better pay. Had got a lot of well wishes via email and teams chat from other emplpyeee as still working from home. Saw that when others in different departments were leaving there was an email to add money for a gift and ask for a message to sign a card. This was done by their manager. I realised in the run up to this that I wouldn't be getting the same when the works weekly newsletter had no mention of me leaving even though I emailed the entire work the week prior. It annoyed me so I messaged the person who puts it together. Turns out none of the other managers told them about me leaving. They apologised to me personally for it(yet didn't bother making an updated version) So my last day came. All I got was a 15 minute teams call with my team wishing me luck and that I'll be missed. I thought maybe I'll get a gift when they come collect my pc and other stuff they gave me to work from home. Nope. Nothing. Was annoyed at the time but it reinforced the reasons why I decided to leave so now it doesn't bother me.

  70. I've had it the other way round. Insisted upon no gifts and collection whenever I am leaving a workplace and still get given stuff for no reason. And not in an 'oh no please don't give me free money' type of way, I just don't care about gifts from anyone outside my close friends and family. I'd rather people save the money. Still it happens everywhere I go so I guess just be nice to people and it will solve the situation for you.

  71. I didn't get one from my retail job of 9 years, people just dont care as much as you think they do unfortunately.

  72. It's possible that a gift may come later. I left a project and they got me a picture that needed to be framed so it arrived a while later.

  73. There tends to be someone who organises these sort of things, goes around with the collection cup etc. Maybe they were off, or maybe they were the only one who didn’t like this person?

  74. I left after 9 years, didn’t get a card, just a hand shake off the people who I worked with but that was me going round to see them before I left. Since leaving it made me realise why I wasn’t happy there and why I wanted to leave

  75. I’ve noticed at my place there used to be gifts and collections for every leaver pre covid. After the lockdown and everyone starting to work from home, no one has bothered organising anything for the recent leavers.

  76. I’ll never forget working on a ward for 3 years. Contributed to everyone’s leaving gifts, birthday funds, get well soons etc. ‘surprise’ party thrown for everyone’s big birthdays before they went off on annual leave. Banners, buffet, present giving etc.

  77. I left my job of 9 months literally yesterday, there’s a large age gap between me and everyone else and I had no close ties to anybody, I was given a pile of presents like it’s Christmas.

  78. I was self-employed working alone in my own company for fifteen years before I decided to pack it in and move on. On my last day I didn't receive a present or even a 'thank you' for all my hard work and commitment I can't believe how mean spirited I am.

  79. I left a job after 3 years and I didn’t even receive a card let alone a present. They just treated it like a normal shift and by the end of it just said bye like normal. I’d say it’s normal to feel offended

  80. My wife has a coworker who was pissed off no one got him a cake for his birthday.No one has ever got a cake. Was he feeling especially entirtled?lol.

  81. At our place it completely depends on your line manager... my line manager is great and organises money collections and gifts for birthdays and leaving dos. Another dept has a terrible manager who forgets anything like that and loads of people in the dept are unhappy because of it despite several people raising it with him. He just doesn’t function in that way. Some of them do it for each other but 121 instead.

  82. Human nature. You’re bound to feel like that. You want them to know that you’re a little angry with them and want an apology or at least a reason. But it’s probably not going to happen. Be content with being angry. It will pass.

  83. I left my first job and got an Omega Seamaster, an Apple TV and some driving lessons. Another guy left at the same time, had done 3 years less than me and got guitar hero. It was hilarious. Since then I’ve never got anything other than a card when leaving and am happy at that.

  84. That’s a shame. We used a thing called “thank box” for leavers where you can write a message on a virtual card but also allows you to donate. I was super thrilled when I got £70, way more than I was expecting. The system allows you to turn the money into a voucher for 100 or so brands. I picked B&Q and bought myself some lovely pots and bulbs for spring. Did your company give people an easy way to collect money? Often the barrier to doing so just means people are lazy!!

  85. I just left after 15 years of graft, worked on 100’s of millions of pounds worth of contracts. Boss didn’t even shake my hand or acknowledge me on he last day, you are just a number

  86. I didn't get anything when leaving at my last two jobs of 7 years and 2 years not even a thankyou email. However, that was the culture at those companies so didn't worry me.

  87. I worked at a place for around 12 weeks and on my last day they presented me with flowers a card and a couple of gifts. Was totally not expecting it as I’d not been there long but it was lovely.

  88. Depends on the team really; the team I've worked in for coming up five years has almost changed entirely, and out of 14 people, there's only four (including me) who are the 'originals' as we all started around the same time. The older guys who left were great, so we always had massive birthday things, nights out etc etc and still meet up outside of work.

  89. I had my last day at a job I’ve been at for four years yesterday and realised that I’ve never had a leaving party from any place I’ve worked at. At my previous job I didn’t get a party or a present or anything and there was a guy who left about six months previously, had a leaving do, then decided he wasn’t leaving and came back on the Monday.

  90. I feel like it's weird to get leaving presents., I've left like, 4 jobs and never gotten anything but cards or once £20 but it was also Christmas

  91. Never in my life I worked in a company that does leaving presents no matter how long you served. It’s usually a card organised by HR.

  92. I've been working in the nhs for almost 5 years and the leaving culture is pretty nice. I once only had a 3 months contract at a CCG and they got me a £50 apple gift card.

  93. All depends on the culture of your former workplace as well as your interpersonal relationships with your former colleagues. Though I would not expect to receive a gift from everyone in the whole workplace unless it was a physical card/e-card signed by everyone.

  94. Never expect anything from anyone in a work place. It's not to say others are being mean, but the people you work with are not your friends or family, they are just colleagues who will forget about you in a month.

  95. I just left my place after 12 years. I got a nice email from the chairman and thought that was very decent. Why on earth would you expect a gift for leaving after such a short time?!

  96. It will be a handful of people who arrange the collections and either they didn't know you were leaving, forgot, were off, or assumed someone else was doing it.

  97. On one hand yes, if everyone else was getting gifts and you didn’t then it’s a bit rude if you’ve always contributed.

  98. I've found size of a department also has a hand in the leaving presents outcome - for example a large section in a medium sized office might club together more readily than a tiny section in a massive office. Also female dominant departments tend to be more mindful than male heavy ones.

  99. Not that common, but at least one place I've worked in has a policy of the company buying the leaving present for the departing employee - even if it's a case of someone spending their own money to get X present, and then the section manager approving a reimbursement.

  100. Were you usually the one instigating or organising leaving gifts for others? If so then maybe no-one took the initiative. I was surprised when a woman I worked with left after a long time and there was nothing. But I think that was due to poor management.

  101. Just wondering, is your work now WFH? I've noticed a total difference in these kinds of things since the move out of the office. I haven't been asked to sign a card for anyone in years now.

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