How often do you have sex?

  1. Similar, we have sex a couple times a year because i (31 f) have trauma from SMEAR examinations. And i can only do it with lube. My husband is fantastic though, he understands and we have a great time with out it lol

  2. Nice first comment to read, honestly. I struggle with a lot of pain due to cysts (currently waiting on tests for PCOS/endo too!) and my ex-partner wasn't understanding at all which has made me wary of committing to a new relationship honestly!

  3. 53M, No sex in over 10 years too because of similar issues. She used to enjoy other forms of pleasure but even that has been non existant for over a year now. Do I miss it, yes, have I considered leaving her, no. Have I considered looking for it elsewhere, yes but never beyond just a fantasy.

  4. I agree, I havent had sex for a year, becuase of my husbands pain in his back. But Im still happy and love him. We've been together for 14 years, and sex was a huge part of our relationship, but snuggles and being close is enough for me now. Hes the person I want to spend the rest of my life with :)

  5. My husband is 53 and try, weakly. He needs a pill to perform and if he doesn't take it, no matter that he satisfies my needs, I'd rather not. It's a let down sorry for the pun. It was okay when it happened rarely but now it's often and he doesn't get his meds refilled so I assume he doesn't care. I just don't pursue it anymore because he can't do it. It's disappointing but we really aren't sexually compatible. 😕

  6. Don't worry, when the baby arrives you'll be having years off! and even when you've got the chance you'll just want to sleep anyway. When the child is 2 or 3 they'll be in your bed which will also result in further abstinence especially when they regurgitate or otherwise defile the marital bed. Hehe

  7. Trying to conceive was one of the least sexy experiences of my life. Oh great it’s time to have organised sex every other day for a week no matter what mood either of us are in.

  8. You should try Vaseline mate, it works wonders for your sex life. Just liberally smear it on your bedroom door knob and it’ll stop the little buggers getting in to disturb you and your missus.

  9. The truth is that you aren't as different from others as you might believe you are. The confidence you perceive in others is mostly learnt, practiced behaviour. Everyone is plagued by insecurity and self doubt. Everyone.

  10. Men’s testosterone is at its peak in the morning and dwindles throughout the day. So it’s actually quite common for men to want to have sex earlier in the day and not feel so keen at night.

  11. Just reading ‘five kids’ made me tired lmao. I’ve only got one who’s a year old and by 7pm I feel like I’ve done a triathlon, it does throw my sex drive out the window because one day with a toddler gives you enough emotional & physical stimulation to last a year. Can only hope it comes back with more energy

  12. Fellow 30’s gay man. I get myself off better than any other man ever has so I’ve never really bothered much with hookups. I don’t want some random up in my house barely getting me off and then overstaying their welcome.

  13. Be careful with that. I know of a gay man that narrowly avoided being murdered after that sort of meeting.

  14. 36 been with my wife 14 years and happens 2-3 times per week, few years ago it really dipped while she was dealing with some anxiety and depression to almost none existent, that was very difficult to take. Like another poster said I too was worried if she fancied me still etc whilst trying my best to be supportive and suppress my own libido etc tough times but we got through it.

  15. 33, married, 2 kids. Once a year for the last 3 years. Basically since our second was conceived 🤣 to tired, can’t be bothered, long work days. I want it all the time but she is always much more tired. It’ll come back in time to more regular. The 3 times we have done it since our daughter was born have been epic though. Just putting it down to time of life. Busy establishing our careers and trying not to let the current cost of life get us down 👌🏼

  16. Ngl my whole body aches every evening after being with my toddler all day. Super overstimulated by the time he’s asleep I just sit there buzzing sometimes lmao. it is hard, fingers crossed things restore themselves a bit when the kids are older

  17. 35, Male. Currently? Not at all. My partner gave birth to our first child 5 weeks ago so for the last 10 months or so it's not really been on the table, more important things and all that. We tried while she was pregnant a few times but she felt awkward and I was too worried about her being uncomfortable or me being too forceful so we agreed to shelve it until after the baby was born.

  18. I’m 49 and it’s the same for me. When we are together it’s almost every day. We talk about it a lot and made a decision that it’s something we both want to keep up as much as possible as long as possible. So we do.

  19. 25, 3 year relationship and average 3-4 times a month (some months nothing for 3 weeks then a bunch one week etc.)

  20. This is the same with us - married 10 years and it could be 3 weeks without then 3 or 4 nights in a row. Then I get 3 weeks off again

  21. 34, been together with my husband for 10 years. If we didn't have a child I'm sure we would still have sex most days. It's different every week though. Some weeks every day, some weeks 2/3 times a week.

  22. 27, don't live together but we spend 3 nights together every week so once a week. Also important to mention, female contraception plays a massive part. It would be higher if I wasn't on it (I came off during COVID and noticed a difference)

  23. 35, male. See gf at weekends, we probably have sex about 5-7 times on average each time we're together. Having said that, we've only been together for about a year so both still in a state of limerence

  24. 59f not for about 12 years. When younger I used to meet guys easily for hookups, or relationships but now I’m invisible

  25. I'll be honest here. Lack of sex destroyed my marriage and lead to divorce. I'm a guy and it was on my part. I had anxiety about performance and this lead to me avoiding it. If she initiated, I was fine, would go along with it and we could have sex every day. But she wasn't fine with that abd wanted me to initiate too, which I didn't. She put up with it for about 5 years of marriage of seeing therapists, pills etc. But ultimately she had enough of me avoiding/not initiating. She pretty much felt it was the guys job to always initiate

  26. Just curious, if you could go back in time would you change things/do more to try and resolve your performance anxiety so you felt able to initiate?

  27. 41 and nowhere near as often as I'd like, it's been 5 weeks. GF of 14 years just has a different libido to me and rarely seems interested since menopause started..

  28. Bloke and his wife went to a marriage counsellor. Counsellor asked the wife "How often do you have sex?". She replied "All the time, about twice a week". The following session the counsellor asked the husband "How often do you have sex?". He replied "Hardly ever, about twice a week"

  29. 39 every other day or there abouts. Trying to get my clit to work properly again after a libido zapping hysterectomy. I love sex when I get into it. It’s just the getting into it sometimes

  30. I go through phases of none for months and then reverting to being a horny bastard and sleeping with loads of different guys. Recently I've been visiting a gay sauna every week or two and then sleeping with 1-3 guys during each visit. Plus a small number of other encounters elsewhere sprinkled in.

  31. 40M. Married, together 13 years. Average 2x a week, but varies. My ‘career’ didn’t start until 27 tho, so those who haven’t had it yet, don’t lose heart, it’ll happen!

  32. How the actual fuck does anyone have time to do it 3 to 4 times per day every day?? Not even in my prime did I hit these numbers, mostly bc there's literally not enough hours in the day for adults who like, work and sleep

  33. In early 40's married 20 years. Normally once a week (weekend) . Sometimes more if we can find time without kids about. Very rarely longer that 3 weeks without anything.

  34. M31 straight. I try to at least once a year since the pandemic, more to reassure myself I still got it rather than any real desire. Before the pandemic at least once every 6 weeks-two months on Tinder. Not had a serious relationship in a decade after a very depressing and demoralising relationship.

  35. As much as twice a day with lots of different beautiful women of my choosing…..but outside of my head in the real world then it’s much less than that. In fact zero. I havnt been with anyone for 3 years. Im 37 and single.

  36. Not often enough, months or years between sometimes. I get massive performance anxiety which makes one night stands or casual hookups basically impossible so getting any kind of quick fix just doesn’t work.

  37. Married, four to five times weekly, sometimes more. In my previous marriage, maybe once a year. The dead bedroom was symptomatic of far bigger problems that I finally recognized after wasting years in that marriage.

  38. 23 and in a long term, yet long distance relationship and it's wildly inconsistent. Sometimes multiple times a day most days of the week, sometimes 2-3 times a week, sometimes months go by totally dry! Absolutely worth it :3

  39. Male, 40. Before having a child it was 3-4 times a week. Afterwards it was probably once a month for the first year. Not because of any intimacy issues, just always tired.

  40. 18, and a bit hit and miss based on the fragility of young relationships. Haven't had sex in about 3 months as it is now but I'm gonna get out there a bit more and try and meet new people soon so it's possible it might increase or it might not.

  41. 28 never had sex before. Never dated anybody. This is mostly because one I'm fat and two I'm social awkward and people don't like me.

  42. I am legitimately shocked at how little sex everyone is having!! I’m 32 and have sex 2-3 times a week. I don’t have kids though which seems to be a huge passion killer.

  43. 32 & currently having the best sex of my life with my partner after leaving a relationship of 11 years over a year ago now.

  44. Me and my wife are like rampant rabbits I can't get enough of my wife, we try 3 times a week and bitterly disappointed if we only have it once.

  45. Usually about every other day when I'm with my fiancee. We live separately and are only together for 3/4 days a week, so generally about twice a week for full sex, but it's a bit more frequent if you include some other sex acts.

  46. 38f. Every day...basically. Sometimes twice if my partner obliges. I have actually had more sex as i have gotten older, gotten more comfortable with my body...and I workout a lot so it's a benefit.

  47. hooked up with a friend recently but it reminded me why before that i hadn't had sex in like 3 years. idk i used to really enjoy it when i was younger but nowadays it just seems there's more enjoyable things to do than sex. (i'm 25)

  48. Last time was maybe 3 months ago-ish. I’m a post op trans woman, wasn’t particularly well endowed before the op so I’m not able to have sex in that way with big guys and it gives me some confidence issues for sure, not a major problem as I love giving BJs and anal, but it is what it is.

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