you've just won £184,000,000, what do you do first?

  1. Every ticket to a Simply Red concert and then make them perform a full set whilst I play with my phone, never even looking up at them.

  2. Can I (as an older out of touch person) ask what Simply Red have done? Saw them in concert years ago and they were great. Has Mick Hucknall said something out of order lately or do you all just not like him?

  3. Jason Manford had a similar joke years ago, but he said he would just request If You Don't Know Me By Now over and over and sing along out of tune

  4. £184M is such a crazy amount of money you don't even need to worry about how you spend it really. Could stick it in another account and just pay yourself £5k/day from it and it will never run out within your lifetime.

  5. That would be hilarious if you told hubby and he was streight away "WE NEED TO BUY THIS OR GO THERE OR DO THIS ETC NOW" and your like "no! Process it..." he's pure hyped and got a plan already in action lol told the family and all

  6. If you’ve got £185 million you literally don’t care that they’re quoting £2k for your fence… you’re making £1.5k/hour in interest, it’s literally not even worth your time bothering to get multiple quotes, you just have your assistant call the best guy in town and pay the invoice when it comes through

  7. Ohhh hiring a handyman and paying him really well would be such a good investment. Off the top of my head I have about 20 shitty little house jobs that I haven't got around to.

  8. There was a great post on Reddit a couple of years back explaining what people should do when they first acquire a vast amount of money, to avoid ruining their lives and the lives of those around them.

  9. I think that post was mostly applicable to US lotteries. For instance, it states that the lump sum is taxed when you receive it, whereas here you’re taxed on the dividends. Some of it was definitely good advice, but the rest was not really applicable to the uk

  10. Yeah that definitely sounds like a Reddit advice thread because it jumps straight to assuming everything will be some kind of out of control downward spiral and anyone close to you is suddenly out to rip you off haha

  11. Buy the finest parchment, hire a caligraphy artist to write out my resignation. Then hire Jeremy irons and a small troop of actors dressed as centurions march into my office and read out my resignation to my boss.

  12. Thinking about the chap in NZ who used an "emotional support clown" when he was laid off, I'd definitely be tempted to employ the services of a professional mime to handle the tedious technicalities of actually handing in my resignation.

  13. Awww my first thought was “get my grandad to a private hospital” he’s not doing well atm :( then I’d move him and my nan to California to be by my uncle and his wife. I’d say to Florida but those people are crazy!

  14. My old boss bought the staff £500 worth between us one xmas. We ended up with £274. Most of us were annoyed he didnt just give us the money.

  15. Tell no one. See no one. Get everything delivered. After a long time buying up a load of houses and investing about 50 percent of it, I would move to somewhere much nicer and buy a nice v8 car and open a butchers.

  16. Buy my Mum a house she can spend the rest of her days in, with a live in housekeeper/care assistant who will be very generously paid.

  17. So I draw up my list of 'immediate' gifts to family and friends. Enough that the older ones can retire and the younger ones can buy houses and live with security.

  18. Purchase!?? Getting a bit ahead of yourself there... I like to imagine from the moment i find out like... This is how its gonna go..

  19. All of these sound quite serious. If I won £184 million I would build my own working castle. Big walls and plenty of security to keep out the people begging for money

  20. Always said if I won a lot of money I would build a house in the middle of nowhere, the biggest wall I could get away with and have a 16lb gun trained on the front gate with the gun muzzle velocity on a plaque right next to the intercom system. I don't hate people honest

  21. I would buy a small block of flats and rent all the flats out at affordable rent to friends and nice people and then have communal things nearby that everybody could use, things like affordable vets and dentists and sports centres and nurseries. I would then actually have a nice community for me and my friend to live in.

  22. I've had the same thought for years, but as I've gotten older it's turned from flats to a small housing development. Build say 10-12 houses and rent them out to friends and family for £1 a year. Include a nice park and a playground so there's somewhere nice and close, safe & communal for everyone's kids to play.

  23. My mates lottery plan is to buy all the stuff the council has neglected in Brighton like the arches, and the seafront and maderia drive, and do it all up and make it nice, and then make himself into a sort of pseudo people’s king of Brighton.

  24. I would hire an army of bots to upvote my every post on Reddit to the stars! All disagreeing posts would be buried under an avalanche of disagreement and downvotes! I WOULD BE A KING!!! NO ONE WOULD DARE CONTRADICT ME!!!!!!

  25. Give key coworkers £1M each and co-ordinate to all resign at the same time for maximum “fuck you” impact - it’d leave them completely fucked and that feeling would be better than the initial win.

  26. Phone my mum and tell her she can retire. She’s been considering it for a couple of years and I know she’d enjoy it.

  27. Get tickets to see my sister in Brazil. Haven't seen her since 2018, covid fucked up our travel plans, and since the flights have reopened they are double the price they used to be, looking at £4k for two people economy. I have a niece and a nephew I have only even seen on a computer screen and it's killing me.

  28. Taking all the common sense stuff as read, the very first thing I'd buy would be a big bottle of Chartreuse or else a really nice Armagnac brandy.

  29. I think the first big purchase would be a ferrari. I'm not a "car guy" but ferarris are beautiful. Then a big fuck off house which I would't live in for 6 months as I've gone travelling. Buy my mates a house as well, give them a a million each. Pay off my dad's mortage and let him retire with a tidy sum. Blow the rest on prostitutes

  30. I’d buy a bunch of separate islands for introverts. We can get together once a week and share stories before returning for a well earned rest

  31. I would help all the people I love. I would help my sister with her horrible divorce. I would help both my parents pay off debts and buy my mother the house she dreams of in Costa Rica. I would set up trust funds for my three nieces and my nephew. I would help my best friend pay off all the debts he has been left with since his parents passed away (crazy that in Greece debt is an heirloom!!), and would pay for him to travel to and train at the pastry school he dreams of in Paris.

  32. Probably pay my credit card bill and the arrears of my gas/electric bill. Maybe pop to little Tesco for a jar of coffee and some hobnobs. Boring shit. I would just be in intense shock. But when I saw the 00000's in a brand new Coutts account it would be on!

  33. My nans house & land just to keep it in the family when she's gone. Me, my brother, sister & dad all desperately love that place & want to keep hold of it, but my mum isnt so keen, and my aunts want the money.

  34. Sit down….. stand up, make a cup of tea, sit down again…… browse real estate in Australia (I’m Australian and would like a home there as well as here)

  35. Buy a farm house, spend a fortune on it (decent internet, sound proofing, heating and power) then adopt dogs for the rest of my days, have time for my hobbies and just make sure dogs dont die in kennels. After a while of trying to figure out how much it costs and what time restraints it all puts on, either hire help to take care of the dogs or dont take on more than i can manage.

  36. Hire a financial advisor. I need help with £184million. I'd buy a moderate house. Couple of my dream cars. Pay off family mortgages/debts. Have a private account of £1 million for my own use. Put the remainder into as high interest bank account or relevant investments or whatever the advisor would suggest.

  37. I reckon the first thing would be to go in holiday with my husband and the kids. Probably just to Clacton because none of us have passports. I'd want to get away and get my head together a bit

  38. I’ve always thought it would be nice to study without any financial worries. Maybe try to get a PhD and become an expert in something.

  39. Pay off the mortgage then go on holiday. Get back, pick a bunch of the friends and family I trust the most, give them each a million and swear then to secrecy

  40. I would buy a bunch of houses in rich nice areas and sell them super cheap, and I mean like £100, to first time buyers, just to fuck with the housing markets and see what chaos i can make, all while getting first time buyers on the market.

  41. I would keep it absolutely secret for a few months or so, until everyone has forgotten about this massive prize; then tell people close to me that I have won 3 million and leave my job. Everyone I know will be happy for me, and yes, lots of them will be excited that I might give them some. But because they think I won 3 million, they won’t have unreasonable expectations.

  42. I would get myself a ps5, I know it might not be exciting to some but I recently had to sell mine and it done my head in.

  43. A house. Me and my 3y/o are currently in a guesthouse while waiting for the local council to get into gear. I had to annoy them to get them to put us somewhere in the first place

  44. Standard stuff aside I’d probably go on a crusade of trying to improve ice hockey in the UK. I’d set up a team/ arena in with the potential of bringing an EIHL team back to London. Also invest (I say invest, I’d be taking a loss on this for sure) in youth coaching, training rinks, try and get younger people involved and make it something that’s just a lot more accessible to people.

  45. Good advice aside (that post about how winning the lottery fucks up your life has already been linked and is a good one), I'd go searching for a boat. Nothing unmanageably large, but something nice, not too old and very fancy. Maybe 50ft. I'd have it shipped down to the Adriatic and have it as a holiday home out there. I'd have our staircase replaced, stop the garage leaking and maybe stick a recording studio in the roof above it. I'd buy a decent bottle of whisky and open it straight away. In the bath. We'd go out to a nice little Italian we both like. I'd go down to three days a week at work so we've got enough time for weekend breaks, volunteering and hobbies, but wouldn't get bored.

  46. Probably put away a reasonable nest egg and then spend the rest of my life trying to be a philanthropist. I can’t see why people would hoard money, get a small to medium house, pay off whatever debt you have and then use the money to help other people

  47. Probably panic. Then my first purchase would probably be something small and silly, like a new pair of socks. Then I think I'd just continue panicking, with my lovely new socks on.

  48. Probably just carry on as per normal until the realisation of that much money hits me... So likely go to Lidl and buy something for dinner

  49. I’d buy my mother’s house for her and get an extension sorted she desperately needs after her stroke back in 2019. She’s had to raise 4 kids after my father died back in 2006 so only fair she’s the first person I help out. Probably not the answer you’d be expecting but she’s deserves it more than I do.

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