Men of Reddit, what is something us women do that baffles you?

  1. Maybe just my wife, but wait until I’m just out of ear shot to start telling me important information. All I hear is Charlie Brown teacher noises.

  2. Mine waits until I’m washing dishes with the sink blasting two rooms over to try to talk to me in the same volume as if I’m sitting next to her then gets mad at me when I can’t hear her haha

  3. Walk back into hearing range… “sorry I didn’t catch that?” “Never mind” walks back out of hearing range “I was saying….

  4. The front pocket on women's pants tends to be too short to fit a phone, and if it does then it's stuck right where the hips bend. The phone fits into the back pocket, doesn't interfere with bending hips, and it's not in the way.

  5. Woman here. I always stick my phone in the ass pocket of my jeans. I don’t even notice it because I’m not really sitting on it at all. I think the ass pocket is much less droopy on women’s pants. So, the phone sits on my ass, not under my ass.

  6. I remember my ex asked me if I’d have sex with her corpse if it was still fresh. I said no….she got upset…

  7. My husband said no because I, as an earthworm, couldn’t love him. And I asked what if I was a self aware earthworm and he asked if I could communicate. I said I would make my body into letters and he laughed and stopped answering.

  8. When I don't understand something my wife says and I ask her to elaborate, she keeps repeating the same sentence over and over expecting me to understand it rather than explaining it.

  9. How they don’t dress for the occasion. They dress for the arrival. And then after 5 minutes they aren’t comfortable.

  10. This is your "17 days to Christmas" PSA, which should arrive in time to pre-date any extended family or friend parties you're about to have this season:

  11. Pillows. Bed for two people needs eight pillows. Wtf? Why? Couch seats four. Twelve pillows. Guests come over. Move the pillows. Cleaning? Move the pillows. Straighten pillows. Fluff pillows. Complain pillows aren’t correct shade. Buy new pillows. Keep old pillows. Arrange pillows old and new. By shade, ruffle, design, thickness, softness, emotional attachment, place of purchase, vibe . . . It’s like a Dr. SUESS book of pillows.

  12. Holy shit. I'm so glad I'm not the only one. My mom has a massive pillow problem. Every time we visit her and stay the night in the guest room, the bed has a little more than 20-30 pillows on it. You have to toss the pillows all to the side and create a little mountain, and she expects us to put the pillows back up the next morning.

  13. I use 2 pillows. One for my head, one for between my legs. My husband needs a wall of pillows to surround him as if he is a baby that might roll off the bed. This is like the 3rd comment on here where my husband is the one doing the "woman" thing lol

  14. Some people learned that others are always angry at them. When my wife had a job with unhelpful colleagues, I regularly got angry at them when she told me what happened. But once she apologized to me and I didn't understand. She thought I'm angry at her for telling me this when I was clearly talking about her situation. Since we cleared this up everything is fine.

  15. Trauma response. I have that. When my husband gets mad, even if it’s not towards me my heart speeds up and I feel like something bad is going to happen because whenever my dad was mad he took it out on me with his hands and by throwing objects. I will legit start crying. Therapy doesn’t get rid of the response but I react different by just saying out loud “I know you aren’t angry at me and it’s ok for you to be angry. Just let me cry and get it out of my system.” Then he stays angry on his side and I cry on my side lol.

  16. Always baffles me just how much they share with their friends lol especially around sex. As someone who’s worked with a lot of women there’s a few times they had me straight blushing, and I’m far from a prude lol. They think guys always talk about sex but usually ours is limited to “yeah we hooked up, yeah it was good”

  17. I would feel so disrespectful of her if I told my buddies about my sex life with my wife. I had gfs in the past would would say to me very sincerely "please don't tell your friends we did X". I was almost insulted the first time someone said that to me, like I'm not some creep who's going to tell people about what we do in bed. And frnakly, most guys I know think that one guy who tells you stuff or shows you pics of their gfs/wives are hella weird.

  18. The only time I ever talked to my friends about bedroom stuff we were both very drunk. I woke up with intense anxiety about it and we never spoke about it again.

  19. That’s the difference. Guys don’t be talking about any details unless something weird happened. Never heard from any of my friends the details of a girls vagina

  20. Not dreams. But when I was in my early 20s I was a smoker. I had a gf destroy a whole pack of cigarettes because a fictional character in a fictional show died of fictional cancer.

  21. Reasons my gf is mad me: she had a dream where I cheated on her, that's my bad should've teleported into your dream and bitch slapped myself

  22. In my experience I’ll call it a draw on this one. She did get mad at me for cheating in her dream but in my dream a mountain lion was sprinting directly at me and I punched it in the face.

  23. I'll be fully ready to go except my shoes and jacket. My gf will still be on the couch. So I'll get some other chores done while I wait like washing dishing, cleaning counters, sweeping, etc. Then she will tell me that I'm just as much at fault for us being late as she is.

  24. My girlfriend annoys the hell out of me because she'll tell me to get ready to go ... and then she'll wait for me to be completely 100% ready ... and then she'll start getting ready. Even though it takes her much longer.

  25. And then once you get your shoes on, having been ready for 30 minutes just waiting to lace them up, she needs another 5 minutes of shuffling with bags and stuff while you're standing by the door keys in hand.

  26. My wife constantly tells me to hurry up or we'll be late, then I get dressed and my coat and shoes on in ~5 minutes, and she's still got 10 minutes of things to do, and I need to call her phone cuz she lost it again...

  27. Yes, my wife is a human with soft, non-reptilian skin... But, takes painfully hot showers and practically sous vides herself in the bath.

  28. My sister does this even better. She has a sense of when her husband sits down and will pick that exact moment to ask for a glass of water, blanket, snack, or some such thing. She doesn't even have to be in the same room. It's crazy.

  29. The signs, hints, signals all look like you’re just being nice and want to be friends. I can’t interpret your desires, just tell me

  30. Was dating this girl a long time ago. We were making out and it led to consensual sex. The next day out of fucking nowhere she tells me "Did you know a husband can rape his wife?" I was like....yeah. She says NOTHING after that.

  31. Sometimes the reverse is true too. A couple years ago I had a chance encounter with a beautiful woman (we have some mutual friends) who I had been at the same highschool with but never spoke really spoken to. She was in a different independent study program and mostly I just saw her come and go. Anyhow I run into her at a restaurant, say hi, we end up eating our meal together and talk for 30+ minutes, its very nice, I ask for her number, say it was nice talking to you, we should see each other again, yadda yadda, she agrees , we hug and part ways. I call her a couple days later to see about seeing each other again, she says basically "no I'm leaving for Mexico in two weeks" and am very busy (we live 15 minutes apart) ... uh ok... Make plans to talk when she's back from Mexico, that fizzles. Couple years later a mutual friend was relaying something she said about that interaction and she said "was he hitting on me? , I never know"

  32. As a woman I am genuinely surprised I'm not bald, it seems like I lose an entire heads worth of hair every time I wash/brush it.

  33. Fun fact: people lose 100 strands of hair a day. Regardless of gender. Women’s hair is typically longer and therefore it’s more easily noticed. If someone wears their hair tied back, for multiple days, they still loose 100 strands per day. So if you have your hair up or braided or 4 days, when it’s taken down and brushed, you’ll lose 400 strands. So yeah, sometimes it’s a lot!

  34. It's so much... this baffles me too.. My hair is on everything. It's literally woven into the very fabrics we wear out every day...

  35. When you’re ordering food and you ask if they want some, and they say no. And you ask if they are sure, cause you’re happy to buy them some, and they say no. And then they want just a bite of yours which turns into three bites and now you’re a jerk because you don’t want to share.

  36. I even tell my wife "You're SURE you don't want something? Because we both know when it gets here you're going to be hungry and say "I really wish I'd gotten something". Then I feel guilty while I'm eating my delivery food and she's all "I guess I'll just have cereal." "Do you want some more of mine?" "Sigh. No..."

  37. Oh man, I squashed this with my wife when we first started dating. I told her straight up that when I order food it's because I want to eat the whole portion. So if you want something tell me now and we can get the right portion to share or you can get something for yourself.

  38. Fast food should have “meal + girlfriend who’s ‘not hungry’ “ options, where it’s a regular meal plus 3-5 extra bites 😂

  39. When a woman says she was into me a while back, but is not anymore because I didn't make a move when she was communicating her interest through extremely subtle and undetectable signals.

  40. Get upset that you didn't chase hard enough after they rejected you. Multiple times I have had it come back to me that a girl actually wanted to go out with me, but she wanted me to "fight for her" and show some grand romantic gesture to win her over. Nah, girl. That's some creepy ass shit. Relationships are a 2-way street, not one person putting the other on a pedestal. If you say you are not interested but actually still want to go out, then you have to be the one to initiate it. I'm not going to waste my(or your) time fawning over you.

  41. I see this in movies and gag. Everyone wants to feel special, but on the other foot, it could backfire just as easily when the grand gesture comes and she says, “No means no.”

  42. Rather they be swirled onto the wall than clog the drain. But wow that’s funny, every relationship I’ve had has included cleaning hair off the shower walls regularly. Didn’t even think about it until now

  43. As a guy currently growing his hair out, it’s the better move. Rather the shower wall in a clump that you can grab and throw in the bathroom bin/trash, than into the plug hole which I then have to pull it out of (which I inevitably have to do anyway)

  44. I love when this one pops up so that I can proudly proclaim to internet strangers that I don’t do this, but my husband does.

  45. Ok. So I am the guy version of this. It's rare but we've been married for well over 20 years.

  46. Apparently I cheated on my girlfriend with one of her friends in a dream and she actually questioned if I did it in real life..wouldn't speak to me for atleast 24 hours..wtf

  47. My wife doesn't get mad but she'll get visibly upset and distraught the next day. One time I woke up in the middle of the night to her ugly crying because she had caught me with a girl named 'Loren' in her dream(spelled exactly that way according to her)

  48. I had a girlfriend get mad at me because I dumped her in her dream. I comforted her and said that it was just a dream. She replied that her dreams always come true then continued to be mad at me. The really shitty thing is she was right, because I dumped her not long after for pulling that bullshit again.

  49. you're willing to spend an eternity in a shop you like and complain at me when i say i'm ready to go, but if it's one i like i better be ready to drop everything and leave when you say you want to

  50. Clean up that cabinet that’s been a mess for the last 14 months at 10 pm the night before you leave on a big trip, because you “Want to come home to a clean house”

  51. When they ask you what we should eat. We name 5 things and they say I’m not in the mood for that. Then why did you ask me in the first place. Also when I ask my girlfriend you pick dinner you can’t make your mind up. Edit: I guess a lot of us are in the same boat. Thank you for the gold!

  52. My father-in-law hacked this problem by taking them to literally the same restaurant every time his wife said she didn’t care. It got to the point where she’d just start naming places to avoid going to the damn Chinese buffet again.

  53. If my wife and I are unable to agree we use a rule where one person makes a suggestion and if you want to shoot that down you also have to give a suggestion and then we keep repeating that until we agree

  54. Open a chain of restaurants called “Anything but Pizza” and have it serve salads, sushi, Chinese, and Thai. Then when she says “you choose, just not pizza” you take her there. It’ll be the first 100 billion dollar restaurant ever.

  55. I finally broke and just started telling my wife "Ok. I gave you choices and you refused them all. You decide. Take your time but were not eating till you pick so make sure the restaurants arent closed before you do." Started getting an answer within 10-20 mins.

  56. Speaking with subtext and implications. Girls think they're being obvious, but it's really difficult picking up on their attempts to communicate.

  57. I know for myself, the reason I don’t understand subtext and implications like that, especially when it comes to relationships, is because I never really assume as a guy that women can like me. You have to tell me you like me for me to understand, because until that point, I just assume you’re being nice at best, and just putting up with me long enough to get me to go away at worst. Every girlfriend I’ve ever had happened because she asked me directly.

  58. As an autistic girl I feel this. My friends tell me I’m as blunt as a 2x4 but I can’t wrap my head around how not to be? Like what do you mean people don’t just say what they’re thinking or feeling. What do you mean I have to decipher what they want through things like body language, tone, and “the conversation between the line”. Why can’t they just tell me what they want/need?

  59. And when we say, "what did you say" you repeat it at the same volume you did the first time while turning your head away as you talk... then getting irritated that we didn't hear you the second time either...

  60. Once had a friend on the back of my motorcycle, she is a chatty chick so I told her: "When we put these helmets on, I can't hear you. Please only talk when it's important, tap on my shoulder if you want me to stop".

  61. My wife likes to do this silent whisper thing when she doesn’t want the kids to know. She mouths the words, but when she does it, she exaggerates the movement of her mouth to the point where I don’t know what the fuck she’s saying. It almost always ends in frustration for both of us, but god damn if she will stop.

  62. My favorite is when my partner will talk to me in a normal voice, when I'm on the other side of the house and then get mad I didn't hear them and respond.

  63. Every conversation in my house, no matter who it is. Someone says something, the other person says “what?” On and on until we are all dead. I’m the only male in my household

  64. Oh, 100%. My wife hates it when we're both doing household chores and I have earbuds in. She drops her decibel level enough that I have to take them out and get her to repeat what she said. Then she's mad because she has to say everything twice. She denies all of this, but I'm convinced it's a passive-aggressive thing.

  65. I’ve stopped allowing behavior like this with partners. The foundation of a relationship is communication and if one party is expected to do both parts it isn’t a relationship and is sucking out any opportunity for communication to improve.

  66. I learned pretty quickly with women that getting into a texting battle or conversation will only cause matters to get worse. I don’t entertain texts like this, even with my wife. I’d respond something like, “let’s talk about this tomorrow when we’re together.”

  67. How a single slightly negative thing can ‘ruin the day’ when the 500 other perfectly adequate or great things that happen don’t make a difference…

  68. Legit had a convo with a girl who told she had a guy ask her out but said no because she wants him to put more effort into it. Absolutely baffled when told that it is wrong on many levels. “Seriously? Can’t you tell the difference between no and no?” [pronounces them with slightly different intonation and head movements]

  69. Lol, I had an ex try and pull this card on me. She would walk halfway out of the door and be like I’m leaving! And I’d say okay, bye. She’d come back with “you’re supposed to fight for me!” I told her that if she wants to leave, then I’m never gonna try and stop her. Ever. If someone wants to leave you, let them leave. I only want to be with someone who ~wants~ to be with me.

  70. I peace out for anybody with that mindset. It's just a red flag that they're going to be high maintenance.

  71. Things like these just makes me, an autistic woman, feel like everything would be a bit easier if everyone was at least a bit autistic. Then maybe people in general would just GET TO THE POINT. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. FROM THE START. I’m tired of learning to read social hints, its exhausting pls and thanks.

  72. You're allowed to be mad about something without us being mad about it but when we get mad about something you feel the need to also get mad but then direct it towards us.

  73. My mum does this, if I'm upset about anything she gets stressed and turns the situation into a pity party for herself. It can be as simple as losing my keys, getting annoyed that I can't find my keys, and if she happens to notice she decides that now is a great time to lecture me about leaving things and for not knowing where I left my keys, and I just have to let her do it because any defensive response will be met with the "you hate me" argument. Its so tiring.

  74. As a dude who's recently been growing out his hair, I've got no fucking clue man. Like it keeps falling out, but never runs out? How much god damn hair do we have??

  75. One of my partners told me "you know, it's kind of comforting to know that you're probably thinking about dnd, video games, or music. I worry you might be thinking about other women or leaving, but no, it's probably just if you should play a rogue or not."

  76. Man in my relationship that would have led to a heated discussion about the capabilities of baboons and gorillas. Nature documentaries would be referenced, D&D stat blocks would be acquired.

  77. Not bring their wallet/IDs wherever they go and then act surprised when they need to show their ID somewhere.

  78. All these signals that you allegedly give off. Why do you persist with sending them, when we clearly can't tell?

  79. Why do y’all share intimate details about our sex life to your friends? It’s strange to us because contrary to what happens in high school movies, guys don’t talk about private bedroom stuff to our buddies. That’s private. We don’t like when y’all do it lol

  80. Not even friends. I've had coworkers share private details like dick size to everyone. Felt bad for that guy she was dating. We knew everything.

  81. Or even worse, when their confidant is their unstable friend whose life is basically a Maury episode. I cannot understand why they ask for relationship advice from friends like this.

  82. Ok, so a few years ago we were at a beer festival in the town I used to live in. It was me, my girlfriend and a group of guys and girls that we're friends with. At some point, the conversation turned to sex toys because one of our friends somehow got involved with testing them for some adult website. He mentioned how he got a chastity cage in the mail and showed us pictures of it on the website. Now, I swear this isn't a humble brag but I'm "above average" downstairs. This isn't something I bring up to friends or anything because I'm a pretty skinny guy and just assume people would think I'm lying (plus, it isn't anyone's business). I offhandedly mentioned that I wouldn't mind trying a chastity cage at some point because they seem exciting and one of the girls drunkenly responded "Yeah, you'd need a much bigger chastity cage than that." Another one of the girls then said "Yeah, I don't think they sell them that big." To that, her boyfriend responded "Yes yes, we all know Spurioun has a huge dick, let's move on."

  83. This this right here will set me running from someone if I can't trust them to keep bedroom stuff private then I just cannot trust you

  84. Yeah my gf doesn’t only share sex details but literally every aspect of our relationship, good and bad, to her friends and sister. Then when we argue about anything it’s like she has a panel of experts to bounce argument points off of. Meanwhile probably half of my friends don’t even know my gf’s last name.

  85. Your obsessions with popping pimples. I have had a couple of girlfriends (and my mom was the same) that loved doing that to me. I can't understand how that is not considered gross. 😅

  86. Monkeys and apes love to groom each other. It’s evolutionary and instinctual. I think we tend to think of ourselves as enlightened beings, but in reality we just might be slightly smarter apes with a pimple fetish.

  87. I think what women don't realize is they don't all have the same signals. One girl's obvious flirting is another's just being friendly.

  88. The 2 gfs that I had the best sex lives with were just insanely forward with their wants. They'd tell me what they want and how I can please them. Sometimes they'd let me just do my thing but if there was something in particular they wanted they'd just say it. The greatest phrase ever was before my one ex would leave for work she'd casually be like "I'm gonna ride you so hard tonight when I get home. See ya." My brain wouldn't work all day and then she'd do exactly that when she got home and it was INCREDIBLE.

  89. Completely Change plans on a whim, then get frustrated because your partner hasn’t magically read your mind.

  90. Talking to us while we are clearly not listening because our attention is somewhere else, or have headphones on. Or while we're watching the tv.

  91. Hey babe how was your day 'Oh pretty good' ...half an hour later I pick up a book ' You won't believe what happened today...'

  92. My mom does this alllll the time. My dad is half deaf and I probably have some hearing loss. She will run water and while turned the other way or walking out of a room tell us to do something while we're watching TV. Obviously neither of us do it because we didn't hear it so then she gets mad and starts yelling. Like c'mon, have some common sense, we can't hear you.

  93. Not understanding that we could be literally thinking about nothing. Especially if we’re staring off into the distance. “Well you HAVE to be thinking about something. What is it?”

  94. It's not always thinking about nothing, it's often thinking deeply about something be it dumb or meaningful but immediately forgetting it all upon interruption, it's basically daydreaming.

  95. This one woman did this before interviewing me for a job. But she drew them too high on her face. It really threw off my whole interview because I kept feeling like she was surprised or confused at everything I said. I didn't get the job.

  96. Never understood this either. I was even made fun of when I was a teen because I have naturally thick brows. Then thick brows were in style for a bit and now we are back to drawing them on…maybe I’m lazy or something but screw that. As long as I don’t have a unibrow and my brows are not sticking out all over I don’t care. Lol.

  97. Learned behavior I guess. It’s not something we always do, it just kinda happens. I didn’t even realize this was a thing, or that men found it kind of abnormal until a few years ago. Typically if I’m at the store or whatever it’s not really something that happens. But like growing up in public school and having scheduled bathroom break time, so many conversations happened there and don’t end until weeks later sometimes.

  98. Acting like you're best friends with someone you hate. It doesn't baffle me (I understand the importance of saving face and keeping people on side) but I do find it quite disingenuous and contemptible.

  99. Behaving like a best friend, I agree. That' just lying. However being polite or civil takes no skin off my back and helps keep blood pressure and stress to bearable levels. It also sets boundaries and reduces the interactions if I have a polite yet distant manner towards them

  100. Drive home then send me to the store for stuff you forgot. The illustrious list then forms. Then after I get to the store 7 more things added.

  101. My fiancé does the thing I dreaded as a kid where we get in line and she runs off to grab half the list we forgot while perusing the aisles.

  102. In my experience, if a woman says something makes her feel unsafe then the appropriate thing for me to do is to stop doing that thing. No debate from me. That seems right. In that same breath, if I say that a certain behavior makes me feel unsafe, then it almost always becomes a debate about my paranoia and masculinity. I agree that us men have a lot of work to put in. Especially in terms of learning how to communicate effectively without anger or judgment. But I oftentimes feel like the same women that encourage me to step out of that hole, are the same women that react harshly when I do. Being told that anxiety looks ugly on me, or that you don't like me when I'm nervous, just makes me feel like a sucker for believing the "toxic masculinity is wrong" lines. Deep down I know that isn't true, just venting.

  103. That sucks. You deserve someone who takes your feelings into consideration and appreciates it when you're vulnerable around them. I am so so so proud of my bf for how far he has come in expressing himself. His father was the kind who just told him to shut up and toughen up. I hope you find a good person who will let you rest your head in their lap and just.. exist and feel safe and accepted.

  104. Asking us to own up emotionally and lean on them when we need it only to crumble totally when they are actually needed emotionally.

  105. I seen this happen in person. I had a friend who had one of those drunken emotional mental breakdowns where suddenly you’ve seen the error of your ways seen how they actually affected people, and hurt people you care about, and for the first time out others first in your mind. he actually changed after this and he became a better person.

  106. I'm so sorry that you have experienced something like that. My ex lost both his biological and step mom before he was 20, and he would open up to me about his feelings. I never seen a man cry before that moment, but I was so glad I was able to be there for him in his moments of weakness. I hope you find someone who you can truly lean on, because those girls are not mature enough to realize that your feelings matter.

  107. I mean go over to the RA or marriage sub it's amazing how many times men are told, "You need to show her you can be vulnerable"

  108. Or start a fight because we DON'T need emotional support and they think we should. My biggest beef is my wife needing emotional support (which I give) but then never actually confronting or fixing the problem that is negatively affecting her emotional state, thus ensuring that it happens over and over and over and over again. Gotta tell you, by about the 100th time she's upset because she made a mistake at work without making ANY changes, it's real real hard to keep being supportive of her emotions.

  109. I feel this personally. A long term relationship ended because I was going through some serious shit by myself, and was pretty stoic about it. After being asked 10000000000 times "what's wrong", I finally unloaded. I had been overlooked for a promotion that I worked super hard for (the other guy deserved it too btw), but I totally felt like 10 years of my life were wasted and I had let myself down. I was internalizing it pretty bad, and when I got emotional about feeling disappointed in myself and some new found lack of self worth, she literally mocked me and told me to man up. Like... bitch, that's what I WAS doing.

  110. When they talk about our sex lives to their friends. Please dont, we dont like that. Those are very personal and intimate details that only you and I should know. Not You and I and Sarah.

  111. what are all the bottles of stuff in the bathroom and all around the shower? why do you need 300 different potions to clean yourself?

  112. Shampoo, conditioner, hair repair mask (occasional super conditioner for when we're getting too frizzy), face wash, and body wash because my legs get too dry in the winter using regular soap. Plus the new bar of soap, almost used up bar of soap, razor, back scrubber, and exfoliator.

  113. Genuinely in my dating experiences with women, wanting to get to know and "meet as friends" first for the most part turns you off.

  114. I once got in a fight with my first girlfriend. It felt to me like something was wrong, so I asked her, she said no, everything is fine. I took that to mean everything was fine and we went on with our day. A little while later she was being very cold and I asked her if she was mad at me for something. She said she was and I asked what I did wrong. Apparently when I asked her if something was wrong earlier, she lied when she said no and she wanted me to push the issue and she was mad that I didn't. I walked out of the room laughing and told her she was welcome to talk this over like adults when she could start acting like one.

  115. I'm a woman, but my ex did this and it is truly infuriating. I could tell something was going on and finally broke down and pleaded with him to tell me what it was, and then was shocked when he said he didn't love me anymore and had felt like that for A YEAR...his actual words were "You should have known something was going sooner because you're with me".

  116. I've got a wife and a daughter so I get a double dose of this. They'll suddenly include me in a conversation that has been going on in their head fully expecting me to know what's going on. Sometimes I have to put my hand up to get them to stop and start over again.

  117. Showed this to my wife. She said she doesn’t need me to be a mind reader. She needs me to be on the same wavelength. 🙄

  118. Layers are often thin. Then there's the whole scientific thing about how women tend to produce less body heat then men making them feel the cold more.

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