What are some basic things about having sex that a lot of people don't realize?

  1. It's sad that alot of ppl don't understand this. Thanks for pointing this out I was shoved into a situation I wasn't comfortable in bc the person I was with didn't understand thie.

  2. Communication is 90% of it all. If you and your partner are not communicating on what each other like and being honest. The sex will never be as good as it could be. Communicate!

  3. Guys, women don’t actually need you to last forever in terms of penetration- that’s the least stimulating part of sex for many women. Use that time in the front end for foreplay. If you can get her excited enough and keep some kind of clit stimulation going, she might actually cum quickly from penetration

  4. I always remember someone's answer on a thread like this that was: "it's ok to laugh, but point and laugh not so much"

  5. True. Also, if you both just keep laughing your butts off - it's okay to stop and try again later. Watch an episode of your favorite show together, cuddle, talk, whatever. If it's late, maybe even go to bed and if you're comfortable with it, have some lazy morning sex. Sex is something enjoyable, not a high performance sport.

  6. By "using your mouth more", you're referring to the part where you shout encouraging platitudes at her vagina to make her cum faster, right?

  7. If you're a couple who has saved sex until marriage (like a lot of people still do - im not judging), a great way to get over the wedding night jitters would be to shower together. You get used to seeing each other naked. You get more comfortable with being together in such an intimate and vulnerable way without getting overly sexual. You get used to each other's touch. You relieve a lot of stress. You get cleaned up. You get mentally prepared for what's to come (lol).

  8. My husband did this for me. Can confirm - helped a lot to get over my fear and nerves. He was so sweet and the whole shower just spent rubbing me down and kissing me and touching me gently. The sex was awesome. Really thankful he made my first time memorable in a good way.

  9. Always move stuff from the bed that is a pain in the ass to wash. I’ve ruined the mood before not wanting to wash and dry a king size comforter that was washed recently.

  10. On my honeymoon my husband ordered mango habanero wings that were VERY saucy, he didn't wash under his thumb nail enough. I spent the night in the shower with the shower head at my crotch set to ice cold water.

  11. After having kids, baby wipes are a staple by our bed next to the tissues. Baby wipes are one of the most useful things I discovered to be carrying around.

  12. Ohh, this is a good one. Whenever my friend has had a godawful partner with no upsides to them at all I always assume the sex is good lol.

  13. Wash your fucking balls too. I once was told I had the cleanest dick she’d ever been near and I’ve carried that with me forever.

  14. The #1 weirdest part of all pornography is just how dry it looks. Some dude whips out his thunderous cock and the chick is like “yeah daddy, give it to me!” while rubbing her pussy which is drier than the Mojave. At this point I am usually concerned, but then, with all the awareness of a troglodyte, the dude will inevitably just jam it in dry over my protesting screams and the chick gets to pretend like its the best thing ever while smiling away the smell of cooked meat emanating from her ferociously rugburned pussy.

  15. This! So many people don't understand the point of lube. And not everyone produces enough lubrication naturally, especially anyone on meds like antidepressants. Even if you think you are wet enough, lube would make it so much better.

  16. I know it’s irrational and stupid but I feel like a failure when I’m not wet enough. It doesn’t matter how into the moment I am, I feel like I’m letting my bf down by not showing it enough or something and he’ll think I’m a liar when I say it feels good ugh

  17. When she says/yells "Oh yes! Keep going", "I like that, I like that", "right there, yes", or some variation of that, she doesn't mean for you to: thrust harder, faster, sucking harder, or whatever. Do not become a fleshy jack hammer all of a sudden. She means for you to keep doing exactly what you're doing! You've established a rhythm, things are working, just maintain until you get a signal.

  18. I remember seeing something around 10 years ago that said 20-30% of women orgasm from PiV sex. With 20 minutes of good foreplay that number jumps to around 70+%. Wish I could find the specific study but can't, it's just shitty Cosmo articles. But pretty sure it was something from the Kinsey Institute.

  19. Never noticed any benefits from psychiatric meds doctors tried on me, but I did notice side effects like difficulty orgasming. A few of the meds made it so it could take hours to orgasm. Not fun, especially if taking care of things alone

  20. It's nothing like porn. It's awkward, a lot of "famous" positions can be uncomfortable, some people are really quiet. Beds are squeaky. Animals will jump up on the bed. There will be weird smells and sounds. Laughing is okay.

  21. That’s true for some women, but not all. The reason communication is the top sexual skill is because everyone is different.

  22. Could you explain this a little better if you’re comfortable please. I’m a virgin but I’d also like to not be completely horrible for my first time so knowledge is always useful

  23. It’s not as clean as they show in movies/shows. You don’t go from having sex to getting up, putting on a skirt with no underwear and getting back to the office. If I did that, I’d be leaving a cum trace like a slutty snail

  24. Between lube, sweat, and cum, both people are going be sticky south of the border. Peeing after sex helps prevent UTIs, and is a good time for a quick wipe and tidy up.

  25. Right?! For the longest time when I was younger, I was "jealous" of women that could just jump up and slip back into their thong and negligee without any wet, sticky mess afterwards. Until I realized those women don't exist, lol.

  26. It's always the washcloth thrown towards me, to wipe up, then tossing it back at them to clean themselves up. Noting that we need to wash the sheets soon. Laying beside each other and maybe holding hands but not too cuddly cause one of us is probably sweating, and it's fucking hot in the room. Click on the fan to cool off for a moment, then it's the walk to the bathroom to pee and hit myself with the bidet. Then wash hands and swig some mouthwash. Fix the sex hair, probably reapply some deodorant and body spray. Then back to the bedroom to either cuddle a bit more or get dressed.

  27. Told my wife she didn't have to swallow if she doesn't want too. She says it just saves on the clean up time. Now that's a win win.

  28. Intimacy isn't getting naked. It can include being naked and appreciating the nuisances of their body and being made to feel comfortable in your own skin. Its also holding hands, being close and comfortable silences

  29. Foreplay. Don't be afraid to use too much lube. If you know you cum fast finish her first, that way you're both satisfied. If you don't know what to do, ask. It can be awkward. Sometimes you laugh. If it hurts, TELL THEM. Pee before and after sex. (!!!!!!) Penetration isn't the only thing to do. When she says harder, if doesn't mean faster, it means what they're saying. Thrust harder. Toys don't mean you're bad, they make things more fun.

  30. Just because your last partner liked how you did it, your next maybe won't. All women, and all men, are different. Many of us men think we are good at licking pussy, that we have found the secret of making women cum. You have, if you understand that everyone is different. If you are doing the same on everyone, which most men do, the chances are, you are shit at licking pussy.

  31. I've heard about eating pussy "Start like a kitten drinking milk and finish like a bulldog eating oatmeal." It's also not universal, but it has served me well.

  32. Pro tip from your local neighborhood lesbian: hold her hand or have her hold your head or something while you go down on her. If she squeezes, keep doing what you're doing.

  33. The last girl I dated would just jump up and go straight to the bathroom after. Which made me sad, I just wanted to hold her :(

  34. It doesn't have to be serious. You can be playfully and have dumb conversations during. You should be comfortable with your partner and not be worried about wether or not they think youre doing it right or youre putting in enough effort or if you're stomach looks fat on that position. With my ex sex was all about sex and that's it. 9 times out of 10 he would wake me up in the middle of the night and I was half awake. And we'd just do it to get it done. At least that's how I felt. With my curent guy we can start and mid way through bust out laughing or have dumb conversations during. We're just comfortable with eachother on a level I never thought I'd be with anyone.

  35. Low libido it's not a bad thing, especially if you're a guy, the stereotype that men are always horny and sex obsessed it's not true, and it can be harmful.

  36. For men… slooooooowww lingering thrusts in and out may not do much for you, but it’s fucking AMAZING for women. It’s not always about in and out as hard and fast as you can. I’ve only had a few men fuck me this way and they are easily the best I’ve ever had.

  37. Queefs happen. If she laughs you can laugh. If she’s embarrassed ignore. Under no circumstances is it an ok reason to be disgusted. Please do not make her feel self conscious about it.

  38. One of my exes looked at me weird and disgusted the first time this happened. I said “well YOU put all the air in there, you’re going to have to live with this if you want sex”…? Like buddy it doesn’t happen on its own.

  39. My partner loves queefs! He actively tries to make them happen, apparently they turn him on. In the beginning (and with other partners) I laughed at the occasional queefs and a little embarrassingly said that air must have gotten in there. So you can imagine my surprise when this guy was all "I love those! Let's see if I can make it happen again!"

  40. WHEN A GIRL SAYS YOU NEED TO GO SLOW WHEN PUTTING IT IN THAT IT DOESNT MEAN SLOWLY PUSH IN IT MEANS SLOWLY GO BACK AND FORTH AND GET THE WHOLE THING WET AND GIVE THE VAGINA TIME TO ADJUST.

  41. Ohhhh yes this is fuckıng GOLDEN. It applies to just about everything (from touches, to kisses, oral, vaginal, anal). if a guy starts with a controlled tease of sorts I'll be drenched before my panties ever come off.

  42. It is SUPER easy to get pregnant. You can risk it by raw dawging it and pulling out... but all it takes literally one slip up and you got a baby on the way.

  43. I can confirm. I thought I was in the clear, having just gotten off the pill and just having my period. Howeverrr…one little guy managed to hang on for dear life for 5 DAYS before eventually finding himself an egg to party with.

  44. Is this what Eddie Murphy meant when he said "what's next, you put your dick in and it explodes?"

  45. Condom sizes actually matter. Men with bigger members have a horrible time with normal sized ones, it can partially cut off circulation, has a higher chance of breakage, and will make the experience overall less satisfying.

  46. This is so true. It was my wife, girlfriend then, that told me I was using the wrong size. I thought that it was just one size fits all and had really disliked condoms. I always struggled to get it on, total passion killer, and I’d lose any pleasant sensations. We went to our local Boots (UK pharmacy chain) and spent a small fortune buying different brands, sizes and materials then had fun (and frustrations as well) trying them all out. It made a huge difference. Night and day. Note to guys, measure your girth, tape measure at the ready, around your dick. Not just the length.

  47. Him: “ oh yeah you like that?” Me: “Fuck yesssssss” Him to self: time to remix Me to self: ffs… there goes that orgasm

  48. Yeah but when a woman tells me that I nut instantly. My wife knows not to give me a clue until she's literally right on top of her O.

  49. And don’t speed up! It doesn’t mean do it faster. It means that rhythm, that pressure, that whatever is exactly right. Do it like clockwork til she goes off unless she SAYS “harder” or “faster”

  50. Please wash your hands before sticking them inside someone, and if your nails are long, DO NOT clip your nails beforehand, do it after. Long nails inside you might be uncomfortable as hell, but it’s NOTHING compared to freshly cut nails inside you.

  51. Women can smell your dick odors. Be clean. Men can smell pussy odors even when doing doggy. Be clean. Also, if you cum inside, when you pull out afterwards, it can be messy and queefs are real.

  52. It can be messy. Make sure you have some kind of towels or wipes ready when not having a condom. Also shower sex can suck as you can be kinda cold doing it partially outside of the shower stream but your partner is nice and warm under it. Also clean yourself before engaging in sexual activities. If you didn’t plan on it, excuse yourself to the bathroom and clean up again.

  53. You don’t just roll over and go to sleep after like they do in movies and tv shows. At least I don’t, that’s gross. Gotta clean up.

  54. if you are a straight man, take care of your lady. sex where she comes too is not a special occasion, it’s the standard. if you wouldn’t be happy stopping before you finish, don’t make your partner do the same thing. and penetration is not the only way (usually not even the best way)

  55. My flatmate brought a "friend " home one night and I could hear them getting jiggy. Then a strange krr- chet sound. Silence. Then sex banging noises .... but different. In the morning I found out their vigorous lovemaking had broken the bed!

  56. I guess I'll say #1 would be just how different it is to have sex with different people. We make broad generalizations when we talk about sex - which is kind of just a result of limited communication, but it's still something to note.

  57. Sex isn’t love and love isn’t sex. That took me 25 years to figure out. Also , fellas, there’s no shame in not knowing where the hole is. Don’t be a fool and grind your dong on her vulva expecting it to just slide in anywhere, she’ll touch jr and guide it into where it needs to be and that in and of itself is hot.

  58. I’m really ashamed by this because I’ve been married for 13 years, but I thought when movies/shows said “let me go freshen up” before sex it was to check your makeup/hair/outfit/BO smell.

  59. If you repeatedly trigger someone's gag reflex, there is a chance that they will puke, don't be a jerk if it happens. If someone is repeatedly agitating your gag reflex and you're worried about puking, play it safe and tell them to stop. Same goes for the other end and all that entails.

  60. If she says "don't stop" or "just like that" we literally mean exactly as you are doing it in that very moment. Don't go faster, or slower, or harder, or softer. (That said, sometimes them saying that can suddenly make your brain go "zap" and your hands or penis forget how to function because the pressures suddenly on, which is totally understandable) still a good rule of thumb, though.

  61. Contrary to popular belief, you should not stimulate the clitoris the same way you played Mario Party 64. At least that's what my wife says.

  62. I just have to say something off topic. This thread here is exactly why reddit is magnificent!!

  63. If your partner requests to include a toy, don’t take it personally. I can orgasm with good foreplay and penetrative sex, but if I can include a vibe during penetration, my orgasm is 100x more intense, which is nice. It’s not an insult, it’s something that helps make sex more enjoyable. Of course some people are really uncomfortable with toys (usually due to lack of knowledge about them) which is why communication and kind teaching in bed does wonders. Just, talk about your turn ons with your partners, that’s how you make sure everyone gets off.

  64. Sex is a contest to find out who can get the other person off the best. The loser wins. So with that being said, you shouldnt be losing all the time (By getting your partner off better or first or whatever) Your partner should be doing you right too . If its all one way, it will just get worse and worse until neither party is happy.

  65. Once you have your first time, you'll be exactly the same person as before. That's the biggest flaw in incel ideology

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