What person do you think could easily become the President of the United States if they decided to run for it?

  1. This read like a break up text lol. I think we should spend some time apart and really figure out what we both want. It would benefit our personalities as I don’t think we are a good fit right now.

  2. I say we just hold a Powerball once every 4 years. Everyone's name is in the pot once. We draw one name and that guy or gal is the next president of the USA. Perfectly random of course.

  3. I don’t have a great answer here but I once saw somebody ask Condi Rice if she would ever run for President and she said (paraphrased), “People are used to seeing me in a political role but not saying too many political things so they always project what they want me to think onto me. They see me hand flowers to a diplomat & as long as I don’t mess that up, they assume I’m exactly what they hope I am. If they’re a conservative they presume I’d be pretty reliably conservative. If they’re moderate, they presume I’d be very moderate. But the moment I declared for President, they’d start asking me things like what I think about abortion, and immediately a lot of the people who thought I should run would quickly find reasons to hate me they didn’t know they had”

  4. The sad irony of leadership is that those most suited to holding it, the humble, considerate and introspective, are excluded by those very virtues.

  5. Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I'm hot. What? Taxes they'll be lower son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.

  6. To be honest, I think this would work. The conservative maga types believe that the show represents the best of them in all their a****** glory. And liberal folks see it as a satire of working class morons.

  7. "This old Shitfisher took his bagpipes down to the river and he played his pipes in hopes that the shitfish would rise up out of the water. But not one shitfish rose, Julian. So he took a shitnet and threw it in the river and, lo, soon he drew it forth filled with shitfish. Then he took his bagpipes and then he played them again and all the shitfish jumped up in the shitnet. "Oh, you dance now when I play, said the Shitfisher.' And then the little old shitfish spoke up in the end and he said, when your in a man's power, you must do as he bids you. Shitnets, Julian, and Shitpower."

  8. The founder of Costco who threatened to kill an executive for proposing to raise the price of a hot dog.

  9. I'm wearing head to toe Costco clothes right now including underwear. I trust Kirkland with my life. I would totally vote for Costco dude.

  10. (Befuddled referee comes running out on the field frantically flipping through a comically large binder)

  11. I think Cthulhu would probably refuse to release his tax returns and call everything a witch hunt when he's disqualified for not being born a US citizen.

  12. this should be a Black Mirror. scientists create an AI version of some great historical leader, and then it actually starts making valid points and gains popularity, wins an election, then brings on some kind of dystopia. kind of like a sequel to the Waldo Moment.

  13. Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings.

  14. Somewhere out there in the world, is the smartest, most rational, unbiased, critical thinking, sane person on earth and his or her name will never come up on here because nobody knows who he or she is because they’re not a celebrity. If your out there and reading this you would have my vote.

  15. Nobody. No matter who you pick, 50% of the country is going to hate them on partisan principle alone. Could be the Christian embodiment of God themselves, and people would find a way to justify vitriol toward them.

  16. I often wonder what she would have thought about becoming famous for wanting to be fucked by thousands of strangers....but only after she was dead.

  17. She could establish a new legal code to cut through all the bureaucratic red tape. It would be a code of many cutters.

  18. Like most of the answers, her appeal for a lot of the country is in being staunchly a-political. Soon as she has to make a firm stance on something like abortion or affordable healthcare, she has as much of the country set against her as Joe Biden, and I say that as someone with a lot of Tennessee family that adores her

  19. Given the state of US politics at the moment, and my resultant view of the general population, a critically diseased badger with 75% of its brain removed.

  20. Unless the electoral system changes (which it won’t), no one will easily win a US Presidential election for decades to come.

  21. Really shit that both parties could put up a dead badger on a stick for candidate and it would still be a tossup.

  22. I'm British and I introduced my 9yo to Weird Al a few days back. The Ebay song has been on repeat ever since. He's also a fan of The Complicated Song, because at 9, toilet humour is life.

  23. I doubt a Jewish carpenter with a history of social justice campaigning and a platform of peace and prosperity could get through the Democratic primary. The raccoon probably couldn't beat Trump without biting a few Mexicans, either.

  24. This so beautifully sums up the state of American politics that I'm actually crying a little bit thinking about it.

  25. Dwayne Johnson. I legit think he could win. He would obviously be a terrible choice, but we're Americans, voting in the wrong people is what we do.

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