What did you not know about sex until you lost your virginity?

  1. That you really can get that loud. Sure, porn exaggerates the noise, but not as much as I thought. I didn't even know I was capable of 90% of the sounds I was making while my guy was inside me, and I couldn't freaking control it! So it was a silly battle of me covering my mouth out of embarrassment and my bf trying to pull my hands away while going "nononono c'mon you sound so hot right now."

  2. Same. I'm a talker too. The filth that comes out of my mouth during sex genuinely shocks even me sometimes. Like, where in my brain is this shit stored?

  3. That orgasms rely on the brain as much as the body. Porn and big talk from people made it seem like it was a purely a physical thing. Doing it hard, getting the right spot etc. Orgasms feel different to different people too. And you can have different types of orgasms too.

  4. I can confirm the brain/mind/mood contributes a lot! I’ve received perfectly good handjobs that wouldn’t do it for me. The body wanted some, the deed feels good, but nothing haopens.

  5. I had anatomy and my professor put it into perspective by saying that if sex was a physical thing wet dreams wouldn’t happen, meaning there’s a large psychological part to it

  6. Dammit I wish this wasn't so true. I've only had one partner and I found her unbelievably attractive but I was so caught up in what I was doing I couldn't enjoy it enough to finish in a satisfying way.

  7. And that is a constant thing. Life stress can effect how your sex life develops all the time. Having a caring and understanding partner is super helpful. My partner understand that sometimes I have trouble finishing. Sometimes all it takes is just a short rest. Sometimes I don't finish. It doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it.

  8. I wasn't expecting the vagina to be as far down as it is. Had always thought it was closer to, like, the clitoris.

  9. Lol it's so funny. 7 years and my boyfriend still sometimes tries to push it in the wrong hole if he's trying to do it without looking 🤣 "Up a little bit babe....NOPE- up, up, up, there you go"

  10. I don’t think my wife and I have have ever synchronized due to her ability to only get off with oral; however, she always gets hers first and when she’s done she hops on for me to get mine. But because she’s still in the “happy zone” when I get on board, it’s very intense/pleasurable for her, far more than if she jumped on without an orgasm first.

  11. Yes! There are gonna be funny noises, accidental bumping of heads/other body parts, and other unexpected moments. You have to be able to laugh about it.

  12. I dated my first girlfriend for a long time, we were all of each other's firsts, and sometimes when we started but didn't feel like finishing, or if I had wood but wasn't actually horny, she would just get on top of me and keep me inside her and we'd talk about our day or tell each other jokes or whatever, and I'm stil trying to find that level of emotional intimacy again.

  13. The girl I'm seeing right now complimented me on how I make sex not feel super serious and makes her feel comfortable. I never really thought about it that much before but of course 2 people trying to sync like that is bound to create some situation you have to be able to laugh about. So do it and don't be so embarrassed.

  14. There’s more fumbling and random conversation than porn and movies led me to believe. Also the smells are different and buttsex needs lube.

  15. But this is kinda a benefit - they don’t tell you how easy it is to prolong sex by switching positions - it’s only overly awkward or bumpy if you’re trying to do it quickly so as not to lose momentum - if you take your time and be playful with it, some light banter and a bit of touching, it’s easy to maintain momentum while resetting a little bit

  16. I remember the first girl I slept with found it hysterical and immensely fascinating that I had that level of control and could make it bounce around.

  17. My dad once told me that he was allergic to latex when I was about 10. I didn't even make the connection on why I have 7 siblings until my late 20's

  18. If you are looking for condoms…SKYN is your answer. It’s not made out of natural rubber, but polyisoprene. If there are other brands out there….well that’s great….more choices!!!

  19. Me too, that was a HORRIBLE experience that was just supposed to be safety conscious! I thought it was just very painful because it was my first time/times but NOPE. Latex allergy.

  20. The first time I queefed I absolutely wanted to die of embarrassment. I curled up like a rolypoly and tried to disappear in the blankets but he kept giggling and kissing my shoulder and saying

  21. I was fucking this guy when i was like 19/20, i think he was 20 or 21 and idk why but he liked taking his dick completely out and shooving it back in like 10 times in a row or something completely filling me up with air and when he was done i stoot up and the queefs just kept coming and eventually he said "can you stop that, my mom is sleeping below us she might hear". He was such a child

  22. I hear about the smells and I expected it, but (and I’ve only been with 3 people so maybe it’ll change) I’ve never really noticed any outright smells/strong smells. Sweat and tiring for sure, but no smelly smells.

  23. Missionary sex on wooden laminate floor means pushing your partner across the floor with every thrust and following after them like a seal 🦭

  24. My fiancée and I manage to do this in a normal bed. It’s like, four seconds of sex, she bonks her head on the headboard (she’s taller than me), we have to scoot down, repeat until she gets into it enough not to notice or we get fed up and turn 180 degrees towards the foot of the bed instead.

  25. That someone had to guide it in, I thought it just did it,so when my boyfriend reached down to manually put it in the right place I was a bit surprised.

  26. I think this came from a TV show, but I once asked a guy at work if he'd like to help me run a commercial analysis on our teams office casual expediture (coffee/stationary etc, because we were a bit skint) and he said "I would rather guide my father into my mother."

  27. I wished it back then and still to this day that it would just slurp it up in there like a noodle. Imagine the convenience.

  28. It's bad tbh. You barely have space and one of you will be cold if does not get from the water😂 porn make it seem hot but its not

  29. Doesn’t even have to be a huge height difference, just different proportions. I’m only about two inches shorter than my husband, but his height is in his torso and mine is in my legs, so my legs are actually longer than his. Makes doggy style (I hate that name, but I have nothing better) just impossible and most other “standard” positions require variations to get the angles right.

  30. TOTALLY AGREE! Im 4’10 and all the guys ive been with before my current bf were all 5’7+. I didn’t realize how much more fun sex could be until I met my current bf thats 5’4

  31. Have you ever had sex while camping? I'm usually not a fast finisher, but getting naked on a 50 degree night then goin in, it was the warmest, most inviting place my dick could have been.

  32. Omfg after I lost my virginity the ex I lost it to did not mention that there was no condom on him when it was over, like this dude full on turned away from me and pretended to take it off and went to “throw it out” afterwards. Later that day, or maybe it was the next morning, I felt weird down there when I was going to the bathroom and pulled out the condom.

  33. If I could go back to 14 year old me who had zero interest in PE class and explain to him just how crucial being fit is to giving a good lay, I would 100% do it.

  34. Breasts are way softer than I expected. I was expecting them to feel like butt cheeks, but they feel more like earlobes, just bigger.

  35. As a woman that had never done it, but does have breasts, is very confusing to me why they’re all saying it feels like sand bags when that’s the last thing I could’ve have compare them with.

  36. Some women make a lot of noise, some don't. If she's being quiet you're not necessarily doing it wrong and she may get annoyed if you keep asking.

  37. Same with guys. Guys who make noise are so hot. I want to know you're enjoying it, and nothing says 'enthusiastic consent' like a moaned "oh fuck yes"

  38. I remember one time, my then-gf told gave me a birthday present of being allowed to raw dog her as long as I swore I would pull out. We always used condoms up until then, so I agreed pretty eagerly.

  39. Can confirm from personal experiences. Sex is great but sex with someone you actually care for is 100% better!

  40. This needs to be pushed to the top. I’m far from a puritan but goddamn does it just feel great to be in bed with someone you can be yourself around. No walls, no bullshit pleasantries.

  41. That it will make you legitimately sore the next day. I was limping like I’d spent the prior night doing squats not doing sex.

  42. This! I was confused the next day about why my body was so sore, even though I was legitimately doing squats. 😂 Takes a moment to put it all together!

  43. Just to give a little more info- penetration can force all sorts of fluids into the woman’s urethra (the tiny pee hole- yup, women have THREE holes). It creates a perfect breeding ground for all sorts of bacteria which can then lead to a urinary tract infection. Peeing right after sex will flush out that bacteria. Edit- a word

  44. I didn't bleed my first time , he was a shit head and we broke up soon after. My second bf made me bleed our first time having sex an i was confused like,did I just get my period? But it wasn't painful of heavy just light bleeding an it went away after a few minutes. Still confused to this day on why that happened.

  45. Trust & communication are the foundation of a fullfilling sexlive. Once you find someone who fucks you the right way and is a pro in aftercare and communication about Sex you never want to go back.

  46. The feeling of a BJ. First time I got one, I felt like I was "flying". Like, it made my thighs weak, had to lay down for the rest - I expected it to be pleasurable, sure, but it was a whole-body experience. Not just feeling good down there - my whole body was in ecstasy.

  47. When I was little and first started learning about sex, I didn't know that there was any link between getting an erection and being aroused. I just thought erections happened randomly, like the hiccups or something. So I always wondered, "what are the chances that you just so happen to have an erection when it's time to have sex?"

  48. That it's not the actual like, physical feeling that's better then masturbating, it's the other stuff with with your partner, feeling their skin, looking at their reactions, their breath on your ear, that stuff is what makes sex better, not the bits and bobs

  49. That the setting is extremely important for your first time. In other words, don’t have Shrek on in the background unless you specifically want it to be part of the experience in your memory forever.

  50. It's weird, I always seem to get so much wetter when I'm doing stuff with my bf as opposed to wanking, even though when I wank I almost always cum way faster.

  51. Just how little it should impact your self esteem. spent so many years feeling unwanted and unloveable just because I hadn't had sex yet. afterwards I realized I was ultimately the same person and had placed far too much of my self worth on it.

  52. As a female, the first time was highly disappointing. My expectations were high. That sort of actual pleasure didn’t come until years of experience.

  53. To take time to get wet before putting it in. It hurts and you can bleed if you don't. Not that my dumbass ex would have done that for me anyway.

  54. Not only does getting wet help lube things up, but it also helps relax the muscles, and will actually physically move your womb. Arousal causes your innards to move up and out of the way, which gives an extra 1-3 inches of depth!

  55. That it didnt have to be that painful. As a girl, I had always understood that I only had to please my boyfriend, suffer and bleed during sex, and that communication was not a thing. Therefore, I was quite scared of losing my virginity, but I did it with the guy who is still my boyfriend now and everything was fine.

  56. Speaking as a fella, I hate this. The worst sex I’ve ever had was when they were trying to ‘please me’. These were one night stands and I felt it would be too awkward to approach it with conversation, but when the woman isn’t in it for her pleasure as well as mine it’s an instant mood killer. It also sucks that women are led to believe this (and men too I guess), but I guess that’s a deep rooted issue with our society/view of sex

  57. How soft the outer lady bits are. The outer labia was way softer than I was expecting. And how wet the vagina gets. They tend not to show that so much in porn. It's messy. Vaginas inside weren't as tight, and were softer than I expected. Like I special kind of soft. I guess that's what happens when you spend so long with a fist around it.

  58. My personal experience was very weird. I lost my virginity at 16, and only had sex 9 other times in the decade after. I figured out most of the things people mention in my late 20's. What I found out is that it's so much more fun with a person that actually gives a shit about you, and how absolutely soul-sucking it can be to have sex with someone that doesn't.

  59. how absolutely fucking annoying the aftermath of being nutted in is. (minus potential pregnancies :p) i always go and sit in the bathroom - clenching my cooch muscles, and just pushing out as much of it as i can. after 20 mins of doing this on and off, i think “ok it’s all gone”. then i get dressed and a few minutes later, i feel the unmistakable wetness.

  60. I don’t know about you guys, but I usually do a lot of weightlifting 6x per week 1.5-2h and I overestimated my stamina by far, I was breathless and my abs were super fatigued. Literally started running/cycling etc… just for that reason.

  61. Theoretically, everything. I had read a lot of books and websites (YouTube didn't exist yet). Practically, nothing, obviously.

  62. It's a lot tighter than expected, very soft and warm at the same time. Not that surprising, but I didn't expect it to be like that intense in that sense.

  63. Been with the same partner for 19 years now and I can confirm that the amount of times we both climaxed at the same time I could count on two hands.

  64. It's a huge deal until you've done it. I felt like having sex was a huge thing that I had to do, but once I started having sex it was like I could move on and get on with my life.

  65. I had a friend who thought eating pussy was gross and when we made fun of him for it, he tried it. Been an addict ever since

  66. How insanely easy it is to get nervous and lose the erection in a blink and then can't get it back.... and that it's totally okay if that happens, and not something you should feel shame for.

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