What TV series is full of quotable lines?

  1. The only way you could be less useful is if you were actually the wall you’re leaning against, of course then, you’d be providing a wall for some jackass to lean against while he thinks about how much of a jackass he is

  2. I’m pretty sure if you got rid of all the porn on the internet there would be one website and it would be called “bring back the porn”

  3. "Guess who has two thumbs, a funny voice and still doesn't give a crap. Bob Kelso! I added the funny voice to keep things fresh."

  4. You’re not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system beneath the hospital are you? I think I saw a manatee

  5. "Holy smokes batman! How low is my self esteem that ive become the sidekick in my own fantasy!" "It could be worse robin. You could be Alfred the Butler" "Damn you.....sir"

  6. I took an allergy pill and I threw that up so then I took another one and I threw that one up too. then I took a third and.. that one stayed down, so I'm getting better.

  7. “Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.” Is definitely my favourite from the series.

  8. “Bobby, I didn’t think I’d ever need to tell you this but I’d be a bad parent if I didn’t. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep themselves busy while their husbands did the cooking”

  9. My favorite line for parenting courtesy of Homer J. (Jay) Simpson - “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.” I know it’s dismissive and poor parenting, but it runs through my head and makes me chuckle

  10. One I watched recently, “Bobby I didn’t want too have to tell you this, but I’d be a bad father if I didn’t. Soccer was invented by European ladies to have something to do while their husbands stayed home and did the cooking.”

  11. Imagine the saddest possible voice a father could have. “Peggy the boy had SOOT under his fingernails. That’s something you just don’t get a with a clean burning fuel.”

  12. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived in New York. It’s still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant severed robot penises.

  13. Tracy Jordan to a pidgeon “quit eating French fries out of the trash, don’t you know you can fly?”

  14. I’m saying that adopting a dog so it can watch us make love and then returning it, claiming that it bit our imaginary child is everything that I need, but if that's really not enough for you, tell me now.

  15. The machine is mankind’s madness and disfigurement. Industry castrates art. The only honesty is in suicide

  16. I have a lot of experience with the whole computer thing you know, emails, sending emails, receiving emails, deleting emails, I could go on...

  17. Maeby: Where do I get one of those little necklaces with the T on it? George Michael: A cross? Maeby: Across from where?

  18. The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention, now that… is… irony

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