Turns out God/heaven is real. What’s the first thing you’re saying to God?

  1. I do miss my grandpa. Funniest and most knowledgeable man I have ever known. He taught me how to fish and would take me at least once a week. Died when I was 12.

  2. God this is so strong the image of me seeing grandma and her cooking me food right away while I sit on my chair or playing toys while waiting (granny’s not dead) bout Omg lord please don’t take her away 😭

  3. fuck. my grandma was like a parent to me, we lived together, she died 3 weeks ago. didn't expect to see this in the top comments..

  4. Technically it's poisonous to humans as well. It's just that human bodies filter out the toxins at a rate too fast for it to ever be dangerous.

  5. Especially when it comes to parasites. What the ACTUAL FUCK?!?! If god exists, he is either powerless or cruel. Either way, I’ve no interest.

  6. He will say free will homie now do you want to stay or leave. Free will. I used to think God had a hand in everything but I think of him like a machine learning programmer. He set up everything pushed a button and is sitting back letting this thing execute.

  7. Yeah I'd probably have an easier time believing in God if all the death and suffering and horror going on in the world wasn't being left unchecked like it is.

  8. If there is an afterlife and a heaven waiting for us after this whole mess is done, I would want to see my cats too. Or I’d have another bone to pick with God, along the many I already have.

  9. Sorry she’s already been reincarnated like 20 times since you last knew her, but maybe you’ll meet her again in your next life!

  10. There’s a Jewish joke where God is chatting with a rabbi and the rabbi is telling a joke to God about the Holocaust. But God says the rabbi’s story isn’t funny.

  11. To quote Stephen Fry: I'd say, bone cancer in children? What's that about? “How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault.”

  12. I lived at Robert Wood Johnson for 3 months cause of pre-B ALL, caring for my toddler while playing surrogate dad to other kids who’s parents didn’t have the privilege of paid leave. I’d like to throat punch god for that one.

  13. The Quran actually addresses this. There is a verse in the Quran tells us to look in the wisdom of everything even that of a mosquito! I had a neuroscience professor who was talking about the mechanism of how mosquitos cut the pain sensory response on our nerves when they get our blood so we don’t feel them and they leave us with an itch response. They evolved to be pretty clever creatures, but I still hate them.

  14. The Flying Spaghetti Monster. You have the pleasure of touching his noodly appendage as as you whisper “Thanks for all the god beer mate”

  15. So you left me with 20,000 different religions to choose from and couldn’t just tell us which one you wanted? Why make us guess?

  16. Why don’t you stop hiding the ball and make your existence obvious? It’ll be far more effective at convincing people you’re not the leader of some creepy cult.

  17. Well if God is real, and I'm his creation, made in his image, it'd be pretty egotistical of me to bring my commentary of dissatisfaction to bear wouldn't it? Like a toddler fussing to their parent because they didn't get the toy they wanted.

  18. Not egotistical at all. If God exists and we are made in His image and we are meant to use the lessons in holy books as gospel then we have a pretty good framework for what people should be like and how they should treat each other. And the fact that God doesn't even hold up to that standard is cause for questioning what the hell is going on with him

  19. Thank you for keeping me alive through all my dangerous fuckups 🙏 I truly am grateful for this life and I will not take what I have for granted

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