I do miss my grandpa. Funniest and most knowledgeable man I have ever known. He taught me how to fish and would take me at least once a week. Died when I was 12.
God this is so strong the image of me seeing grandma and her cooking me food right away while I sit on my chair or playing toys while waiting (granny’s not dead) bout Omg lord please don’t take her away 😭
He will say free will homie now do you want to stay or leave. Free will. I used to think God had a hand in everything but I think of him like a machine learning programmer. He set up everything pushed a button and is sitting back letting this thing execute.
Yeah I'd probably have an easier time believing in God if all the death and suffering and horror going on in the world wasn't being left unchecked like it is.
If there is an afterlife and a heaven waiting for us after this whole mess is done, I would want to see my cats too. Or I’d have another bone to pick with God, along the many I already have.
There’s a Jewish joke where God is chatting with a rabbi and the rabbi is telling a joke to God about the Holocaust. But God says the rabbi’s story isn’t funny.
To quote Stephen Fry: I'd say, bone cancer in children? What's that about? “How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault.”
I lived at Robert Wood Johnson for 3 months cause of pre-B ALL, caring for my toddler while playing surrogate dad to other kids who’s parents didn’t have the privilege of paid leave. I’d like to throat punch god for that one.
The Quran actually addresses this. There is a verse in the Quran tells us to look in the wisdom of everything even that of a mosquito! I had a neuroscience professor who was talking about the mechanism of how mosquitos cut the pain sensory response on our nerves when they get our blood so we don’t feel them and they leave us with an itch response. They evolved to be pretty clever creatures, but I still hate them.
Why don’t you stop hiding the ball and make your existence obvious? It’ll be far more effective at convincing people you’re not the leader of some creepy cult.
Well if God is real, and I'm his creation, made in his image, it'd be pretty egotistical of me to bring my commentary of dissatisfaction to bear wouldn't it? Like a toddler fussing to their parent because they didn't get the toy they wanted.
Not egotistical at all. If God exists and we are made in His image and we are meant to use the lessons in holy books as gospel then we have a pretty good framework for what people should be like and how they should treat each other. And the fact that God doesn't even hold up to that standard is cause for questioning what the hell is going on with him
Where’s my grandma? I want to see her
Really don't remember my grandma..... I was too young 😭.
My thoughts exactly, wasn’t expecting this to be first one i saw, hit home!
I do miss my grandpa. Funniest and most knowledgeable man I have ever known. He taught me how to fish and would take me at least once a week. Died when I was 12.
God this is so strong the image of me seeing grandma and her cooking me food right away while I sit on my chair or playing toys while waiting (granny’s not dead) bout Omg lord please don’t take her away 😭
fuck. my grandma was like a parent to me, we lived together, she died 3 weeks ago. didn't expect to see this in the top comments..
I lost mine 25 years ago and still think of her almost every day.
she'd be the first one you see to welcome you and show you the ins and outs.
And explain that I didn't have time or room to grieve.
I'm going with Ricky Gervais' comment on this one.
I'm going with Stephen Fry's comment on this one.
Technically it's poisonous to humans as well. It's just that human bodies filter out the toxins at a rate too fast for it to ever be dangerous.
What thee fuck, man?!
Why the fuck, how the fuck, where the fuck
You’ve got a lot of explaining to do!
Took the words right out of my mouth!
That's word for word what I said when I read the question haha.
Especially when it comes to parasites. What the ACTUAL FUCK?!?! If god exists, he is either powerless or cruel. Either way, I’ve no interest.
He will say free will homie now do you want to stay or leave. Free will. I used to think God had a hand in everything but I think of him like a machine learning programmer. He set up everything pushed a button and is sitting back letting this thing execute.
"I'm a cunt with a good autobiography, what do you want from me?"
Even shorter, just a brief
My bad, dawg.
Yeah, facts
Word I felt this
Only honest answer
You should do a better job of managing your brand. It’s full of scam artists and hate-mongers, and it really drives away potential followers
Dude woke up and chose Business 101
Yeah I'd probably have an easier time believing in God if all the death and suffering and horror going on in the world wasn't being left unchecked like it is.
Please just let me see my mother once again
“As soon as I finish, helping American football players score touch downs.”
I want only 3 things, to see my dogs, to see family, and to get a holy margarita
I like how you mention your dogs first.
Why. He'll know my questions.
You're the top G
But you won't know the answers
Pedophiles? Pedophile priests?!?!
Honestly, if god thought that was alright and just, I’m not sure you’d want the answer.
Really? G-spot in my ass and no foreskin? The hell is wrong with you?
God putting the G-spot in the ass: No homo
You were born without foreskin?!?!
If God created us the way we are, why are humans going against his design?
Hey, foreskin was humans fault, not his.
Sodomy is a sin he committed genocide over remember? No butt stuff allowed.
Please don’t tell me the Mormon church is your true church 😩
I’d rather go to hell than be in a heaven with that “god”.
Platypus?!!! Seriously? You made that?
Something need to fight against the evil scientists
"Caboose is god?, well that explains the fuck out of the platypus."
It was one of his earlier designs he forgot to extinct.
Where is my cat?
If there is an afterlife and a heaven waiting for us after this whole mess is done, I would want to see my cats too. Or I’d have another bone to pick with God, along the many I already have.
Sorry she’s already been reincarnated like 20 times since you last knew her, but maybe you’ll meet her again in your next life!
How has the vacation been dude!! You missed some wild shit while u were away!
There’s a Jewish joke where God is chatting with a rabbi and the rabbi is telling a joke to God about the Holocaust. But God says the rabbi’s story isn’t funny.
Happy cake day
First time for me commenting this ~ Happy cake day Mr redditor
Happy cake day
Happy cake day!!
What was the point of it, how could I do better
You’re dead at this point, you can’t do better
I want to see my grandma. She died just before I was born. And I'd like to see my doggo that died when I was like 3
You need to reign in your fanclub.
Bro, what’s up with the small dick?
That's a good one. Cheers
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Based
Let's get it over with, I know what I did lol
You took her instead of me. Why?
You okay bro? We can talk abt it
To quote Stephen Fry: I'd say, bone cancer in children? What's that about? “How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault.”
This is the video of stephen fry saying it incase anyone is interested.
Child cancer? fuck you.
Stephen Fry had this exact answer
I lived at Robert Wood Johnson for 3 months cause of pre-B ALL, caring for my toddler while playing surrogate dad to other kids who’s parents didn’t have the privilege of paid leave. I’d like to throat punch god for that one.
Absolutely the biggest fuck you
Sorry for party rockin'?
Not sorry for party rockin!
Why the fuck did you take my son?
I'm sorry for your loss. Truly
Stacy from work... she was into me, right?
I wish I would have done better.
Same.
“Dude, what the fuck?”
How’s the wifi here?
‘If there is a God, he will have to beg my forgiveness.’ Etched on the wall of a cell in a concentration camp.
That’s fucking deep
You gave us free Will and then punished us for it. Admit it.
Round these here parts we call that entrapment.
Mosquitoes, why?!
The Quran actually addresses this. There is a verse in the Quran tells us to look in the wisdom of everything even that of a mosquito! I had a neuroscience professor who was talking about the mechanism of how mosquitos cut the pain sensory response on our nerves when they get our blood so we don’t feel them and they leave us with an itch response. They evolved to be pretty clever creatures, but I still hate them.
1 ticket to hell please you evil sadistic entity.
Which god?
Lemmy, the God of rock.
Why the one and only true God Cthuhlu of course
The Flying Spaghetti Monster. You have the pleasure of touching his noodly appendage as as you whisper “Thanks for all the god beer mate”
Yours
The Golden God himself, Dennis Reynolds.
Well, this is awkward
So you left me with 20,000 different religions to choose from and couldn’t just tell us which one you wanted? Why make us guess?
Why don’t you stop hiding the ball and make your existence obvious? It’ll be far more effective at convincing people you’re not the leader of some creepy cult.
"you sir, are an asshole."
Need more info. Is it the biblical god?
Sure
I won't meet'em. Straight to the other guy.
Why did u create humans?
Probably to worship him
imagine Minecraft with no mobs
Where's my cat?
*pointing at the earth with death, disease, all sorts of fuckery* The fuck have you been?
"If there is a God, he is going to have to beg for my forgiveness"
May I see my grandma and my pets, pls.
I an sorry.
I'm sorry too. I bet everyone is.
Your communication is absolutely shit.
"I'm truly disappointed in you"
I wouldn't say anything. I'd sit down and listen.
"You son of a bitch."
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So... do you look away when people take shits?
God: Heavens no. I look closer.
“Did any of the uber-edgelords in the comments of that one reddit post actually say their things?”
Why free will?
He will know before I say/do anything
I left my passport to heaven in my other pants!
‘fucks wrong with you?
Thank You for my life.
why do you let people suffer.
All fun and games?
Took a vacay during the holocaust?
Child cancer? That's really part of your perfect plan, you sick fuck?
Thank you
Depends on whether or not I’m allowed in
It's too hot up here. I'm going down to hell where the temperature is more bearable
Where are my dogs ?
Which way to Rainbow Bridge?
Why let me become so attached to ppl who always leave?
You’re a giant piece of shit and I hope you die and fuck off from reality
Why did you make my dick so small, sky daddy?
Why was my dad needed more in heaven than on earth ?
Where the hell have you been?
Hey God, will my family be okay without me? Did I leave a mark on the world? Did I live a meaningful life?
Are you such a bastard cause your mom was a whore?
Dude, big ups for making boobs and apple pie, that shit’s awesome
Thank you for saving my soul.
Forgive me for everything i have done
Sorry for the blasphemy
Forgive me for I have sinned!
Sorry.
I love you God. Thanks for blessing me.
Glory to you O Lord! I'm a huge fan!
Thank you I love you
Please forgive me for the sins I have done.
I already knew that, but I'll ask Him for a hug.
Teach me
"Fuck you."
"you monstrous, evil, malignant blight on this world"
Why did you get downvoted lol. That’s a very appropriate reaction.
Dick move, my dude. Dick move.
Well if God is real, and I'm his creation, made in his image, it'd be pretty egotistical of me to bring my commentary of dissatisfaction to bear wouldn't it? Like a toddler fussing to their parent because they didn't get the toy they wanted.
Not egotistical at all. If God exists and we are made in His image and we are meant to use the lessons in holy books as gospel then we have a pretty good framework for what people should be like and how they should treat each other. And the fact that God doesn't even hold up to that standard is cause for questioning what the hell is going on with him
I don’t know what dissatisfaction you’ve seen bro, but skme of us have felt pain.
if thats the case god knowing all your everything says more about free will than god can admit.
You're equating a whole life to a toy a toddler fussed over. Why do y'all do that?
and i could thank him for giving me an incurable disease that results in constant chronic pain.
Sorry, bro.
I tried but it’s hard out here😩😩
Why couldn’t I have an easier love life
Forgive me for my sins
What’s up?
My bad
The question misses the point
"Listen here buddy, I'm gonna need some forgiveness."
Dog, is that you?
Why wont you let the angels win? They’re called the angels!
My b
Why am I here?
Why did you make it so that I need to wear glasses?
Lol my bad for all the slander, we still cool right? *Slaps him across the chest like one of the boys*
well shit, sorry, i was wrong.
Uh oh.
sorry
If sodomisation bad, why g-spot there?
Okay… BROTHER WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK DID YOU GIVE ME A BILLBOARD FOR A FORHEAD LIKE COME ON
Alien life real and how many are there?
Thank you for keeping me alive through all my dangerous fuckups 🙏 I truly am grateful for this life and I will not take what I have for granted
Sorry Dog, I mean God. I was wrong, you're real.
“Care to explain what the fuck THAT was?”
oops guess I'll burn
Explain yourself.
Why did you wait so long?
"You cunt... I've got some fucking questions."
Where's the dude that put alphabets in math??
You little piece of shit
You motherfucker
Get your fucking house in check
The fuck is up with kids and cancer?
*gestures vaguely toward Earth* So, respectfully...... what was all that about?
You sick fuck.
Suck my dick bitch