AITA for offering two different kinds of cake at our wedding?

  1. NTA, but I'm a bit confused as to what Josh's family "spending a lot of time in Florida" has to do with deciding to have a pineapple chocolate cake. I lived in Florida for almost a decade, and I can tell you with complete confidence that there is zero connotation between Florida and pineapples. I think you're confusing Florida with Hawaii.... lol. But beyond that, the combo of pineapple and chocolate just sounds yucky, and I think that's likely what people are speculating on. Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it. Everyone will forget about it shortly, I'm sure. What matters is if you enjoyed your wedding.

  2. That, and why Monterey Jack cheese is mentioned as if it's a delicacy. I mean, I still say NTA and I love a good cheese as much as the next person, but I'm over here picturing some Sargento cheese sticks or something lol

  3. I was born in FL. I don't get the cake with chocolate and pineapple either. Never seen it in 50 years. What a way to ruin a chocolate cake.

  4. Pineapple lumps, thin chocolate covered pineapple flavoured chewy foam inside, are beloved in NZ. Foam as a descriptor is doing it a disservice but idk how else to describe it haha it’s a bit of an acquired taste but is delicious frozen.

  5. I don't get the the hate for pineapple and chocolate combo. I have eaten it before and in my opinion it tastes great.

  6. Yeah plus pineapple chocolate just doesn’t sound good lol. I love both but can’t imagine they paid paired well. I wonder if that was a premade option or op specifically requested it XD

  7. Idk if it's relevant since I'm not familiar with Florida culture but in the part of the south I live in historically pineapples were used to convey welcome or not, as in if you felt guests overstayed their welcome you serve them pineapple upside-down cake. But that still seems like a stretch at a wedding in 2022.

  8. If you read OPs comments, its clear she actually is YTA. just the way this post was worded gave red flags, like obviously not an AH for having multiple cake flavors, but YTA because you forced your husbands side to have an odd flavor of cake, expecting them to ask others to trade as a way to “break the ice” with strangers? thats just weird. how would you feel if your husbands family gave him a yummy tiramisu and then handed you a strawberry banana muffin? like yeah not the biggest deal in the world, but the side of the family that was forced to sit further away, served last, and served a weird desert that was different than everyone elses is going to feel less than…. so yeah YTA

  9. How is this top comment? I think it's rude AF to devide your guests into VIP guests who recieve nice cake and 'second class guests' who recieve the weird cheap cake. She can serve whatever cake she likes, but not letting the guests choose is an AH move.

  10. Sadly I disagree that people will forget. It will likely be the only thing Josh’s family remembers about the wedding. People don’t remember details from weddings unless the stand out for some reason- good or bad. And being forced to eat pineapple chocolate cake stands out

  11. Read OP’s comments. She only served the nasty cake to Josh’s family. Her family was served first and got the good cake. Also, her pastor wasn’t given anything vegan.

  12. @swishystrawberry Just something that might change your judgment, the husband's side was not given a choice on which cake to eat. They were served last (after OP's family), and the only choice was chocolate pineapple. I obviously don't think OP and her husband are evil or anything, but I feel like they made a lot of bad moves here. Although, this post is pretty funny regardless. I love small stakes posts on AITA.

  13. To be fair, chocolate covered pineapple chunks are a delicious thing, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it as cake!

  14. Yeah. That one needs an explanation. I have Monterey jack in my fridge right now. It goes on sandwiches. I can pick it up at the grocery store next to the lunch meats. I didn't know I was so bougee.

  15. I really want to know what the other 2 cheeses were, considering that they are less fancy and exciting than Monterey Jack. I’m thinking maybe that prepacked cheese and crackers snack with the tiny red plastic stick for spreading the cheese.

  16. Personally, I'm stuck She expected the servers to take home the leftover cake slices the guests didn't eat.

  17. Same. Of all the cheeses one can highlight as their "we could even afford THIS cheese"... why would one select an American cheese that's most commonly used in grilled cheese or as a peppered hybrid? I mean, brie was sitting right there and you can [usually] get it at the same place! NTA but that cracked me up.

  18. This is a person who chooses pineapple chocolate chunk as a cake flavor she thought would be popular and not a gross niche taste. THREE different cheese are like, mind blowing to her.

  19. Right? Between that and the Florida comment, I’m not sure how to interpret this. Is this a lead into “Florida Man arrives at wedding, devours frankencake as guests watch in horror”?

  20. I just picked up assorted cheeses for thanksgiving appetizers and not a Monterrey jack in the bunch. I must be super high class with this pimento, and blueberry goat cheese.

  21. This is 100% going to become an in-joke on AITA. Ooh you think you’re so fancy, well did you even have Monterrey jack at your party?

  22. I don't think the complaints were about you serving sheet cake - which is totally common at weddings - but rather about the flavor combination of chocolate and pineapple. Feels like you made a random choice based on an bizzare assumption of what people eat in Florida (according to my husband who used to live in Florida, chocolate pineapple is not a Florida thing) instead of asking the guests you were trying to cater to. And it sounds like you served the pineapple chocolate cake only to Josh's family instead of asking what they wanted.

  23. Plus she said that Josh's family was served AFTER hers. For his family sitting there watching the other side being served a nice vanilla cake first, then receiving a slice of this odd cake after them had to feel like some kind of insult. No wonder they were talking about it afterwards.

  24. I they have two kinds of cakes she should ask the people their options. I’ve been in weddings with two kinds of cakes because often people don’t like black wedding cake and prefer white so they offer the two kinds.

  25. That was exactly my question. They couldn't choose?? That's bad manners. Especially as chocolate and pineapple sounds... not that nice as a cake. Yeah OP is YTA

  26. YTA you didn’t get a vegan meal for your pastor who flew a long distance to officiate. You openly distributed three cakes which very clearly were of different levels and chose who got what. You served one side of the family before the other. You assumed that people could trade cake flavors with strangers. You decided that chocolate-pineapple would be the best flavor for his family because they’ve spent time in Florida (what?!). Honestly I’d say you’re a bad host rather than an ass because you seem to have meant well, but your planning decisions are inhospitable and indefensible.

  27. Alternate drop is common in weddings and functions here in Australia but it's pure luck what you get. Swapping is common but no one gets cranky because of the randomness of what is served.

  28. It’s even worse about the pastor. Apparently she meant to say vegan but accidentally said vegetarian, so the cake she served him wasn’t even vegan. Which she never told him.

  29. I didn't have sheet cakes at my wedding bc my mom is a professional baker and made us a 3 tier cake as a gift, but it would've been a totally reasonable thing to do and I've seen it at many weddings as well. But the tiers were different flavors. We cut the cake and had slices of 2 flavors on trays the servers brought around and let people choose. I think that would've been a better way to do this or if you're on a budget and were serving people buffet style, lay out slices on a table and let people take what they want (how my brother did his). Also, I eat pineapple on pizza and spend lots of time in Florida, but wouldn't want pineapple chocolate chunk. Usually a good rule of thumb is not to go too exotic with wedding cakes as most people don't like niche flavors. I don't think OP's intentions were bad, just a little naive.

  30. But you have to understand, she had Monterey Jack. that’s probably where the whole budget went to, which is why she had to have the different tiers of cake.

  31. This is the real issue, an unforgivable failure of hospitality. OP failed to treat their guests well, and of course they're going to talk about that. Possibility until the end of time, if they're anything like my family. You serve my dad inedible pineapple chocolate chunk cake, you will never, ever hear the end of it. (Seriously, if the WAITSTAFF wouldn't take it home, that stuff had to be seriously disgusting.)

  32. This right here. Like the fact that there was not even a meal for the pastor is horrible. All of this is bad hosting

  33. Def YTA bc she intentionally and blatantly classed her guests by tier of importance in a very visible way. If you don't have enough cake for all, purchase extra sheet cakes that stay in the kitchen. After they cut the first piece as a couple, the cake is rolled away and sliced up in the kitchen and then plates with individual slices are set out on the desert table for guests to choose from. Reserving the "good cake" for specific guests you like more is an extreme AH move.

  34. I don't understand why the husband didn't say anything. Like "hey hon, chocolate pineapple isn't a Florida thing".

  35. Like what kind of Elementary School lunchroom is this Wedding in where people are trading parts of their meal?

  36. I would not feel comfortable trading with strangers especially if the only thing I had to offer to trade was PINEAPPLE CHOCOLATE cake lol!? Compared to a nice simple white ? I don’t think anyone would agree unless they just didn’t want their white lolol and that would make it all so awkward to get rejected

  37. I’m genuinely wondering how bad the family’s comments really were though. If they were just saying “good lord who the hell serves pineapple chocolate chunk cake, and why were we the only ones who got it??” then I couldn’t really blame them. Quite frankly, serving one side of the family first, and forcing the other side to wait, only to serve them a terrible cake is very rude. Maybe OP was unintentionally rude, but she and her husband made some baffling choices.

  38. YTA you fed your pastor non-vegan cake, managed to “confuse” veg and vegan to the caterers, expect strangers to “trade cake” if they didn’t like what they were served, and for some reason assume people from Florida eat chocolate pineapple cake??

  39. Don’t forget! Served her family the food flavor first, then served his family the gross cake and expected them to trade. As if half the good cake wouldn’t have been gone by the time his family got their cake

  40. the strangest thing is that i’m assuming OP doesn’t even like pineapple chocolate chunk because she specifically said it was for the groom’s side of the family, so it’s not even like the flavor was chosen because the couple like it themselves. it’s just a random af flavor that OP decided made sense because… florida. what???

  41. Sorry op seriously comes of as less than intelligent. Or with extremely bad understanding of social skills. All of her decisions were strange and selfish and hurt other people.

  42. French d'affinois and Tasmanian truffle triple cream Brie. Not as good as the Monterey Jack but still up there in terms of flavour.

  43. More importantly, what were the meals that were served? With the pineapple chocolate cake fiasco and the fancy Monterey jack cheese, I'd love to know what actual meals were picked 😂

  44. I’ve been to weddings where they did a small cake for pictures and cutting, and then sheet for the rest. HOWEVER, the sheet cake was not two wildly different choices that were distributed based on which side of the family the guests were on. Either it was the same for all or the servers gave options when they passed it out.

  45. Orange and chocolate actually have a chance at existing together in a baked good and being tasty. Pineapple... does not.

  46. Her good intentions were absolute chaos in execution and it was a joy to read. Do feel bad for the poor pastor who probably had a real sour stomach on his long flight home though.

  47. The REAL asshole here is whatever baker agreed to make a motherfucking pineapple chocolate cake because that sounds absolutely heinous 💀

  48. She said in a comment she couldn’t chose between a pineapple cake and a chocolate cake. So that monstrosity was her solution to her not being able to make a decision. I feel like at that point the baker was just done with her.

  49. Right! I just want to know WHO SUGGESTED THE SHITTY CAKE? Was it his 90 year old grandmas' favorite? Please someone help me figure out why anyone... and I mean anyone would choose to serve such a specific and unpopular cake? Do you even know your family? Did you just google "weird cakes for Florida in laws?"

  50. Info- did you decide which cake each person would get chocolate pineapple or vanilla buttercream or did they get to pick which one they wanted?

  51. Okay I don't care about any of this but I'm so curious as to why you mentioned Monterey Jack by name line is some kind of fancy cheese and not something you can buy in any grocery store for like $5 😂

  52. At first I thought OP might have meant "in addition to the two very fancy, very pungent cheeses we served, we even got the everyday Monterey Jack so that people who don't care for the fancy stuff can enjoy some cheese."

  53. Seriously, you can dip pineapple in melted chocolate and it’s OK. But chocolate cake? Or vanilla cake with chunks of chocolate? Just eww. So freaking gross.

  54. Pineapple lumps are a kiwi classic, and beloved in Australia (& elsewhere) too. I’m sure they’re not the only example of chocolate and pineapple globally.

  55. I know you're joking, but there's a really simple solution OP could have utilized if she wanted to make their cake Florida themed (which is still so weird): Oranges. Florida is known for its oranges, so why not a vanilla cake with like an orange jam layer? That would have been WAY better than pineapple and chocolate.

  56. And the (probably hungry to this day) Vegan Pastor from a ways away who was offered cake only to eat (most likely not even vegan) since the meal wasn’t vegan!

  57. INFO: why did you (and more importantly Josh, who presumably knows his family)) think a pineapple/chocolate cake would be appreciated by his side of the family? Is that a flavor combination either of you have seen them eat before? Leaning toward YTA, especially since they weren’t given a choice between the two flavors.

  58. Your mentioning the cake being in boxes brings up a good point. OP says everyone who was given the fancy cake was discreet. Where does someone discreetly hide a boxed slice of cake when they are dressed for a wedding?

  59. There is so much about this story that boggles my mind, I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about it for days.

  60. She said in one of her comments that giving them the choice of what kind of flavor cake they want on their RSVP they thought it would be too hard for them to make that choice after making a dinner choice. They didn't want them to get burned out on making too many choices. Like what?

  61. And apparently she couldn’t choose btw pineapple and chocolate cake so mixing those together to make this abomination of a wedding cake flavor was her solution to her own choice paralysis. Those poor guests.

  62. Same! This is going to haunt me. The thing I really can't get over, and what makes her a total asshole in my book, is her "defense" of the two cakes being that people could just trade them. So she knew she was serving a questionable cake that people would not want, but made it her guests' responsibility to deal with it.

  63. YTA. You admit you planned to serve your family first then followed through. It’s clear to Josh’s side that not only were they the second served but that they got the weird ass cake since one of Josh’s side got the buttercream. You didn’t bother to make sure you got the right dietary meal for the pastor who flew in for the wedding. There was no decision paralysis issue here there was just bad judgment.

  64. I’m trying to imagine the conversation with the venue/caterer specifying who was to get served which cake at what time. There had to have been plenty of good but disregarded advice there, including that even Monterey Jack wasn’t going to make up for that awful cake policy.

  65. I wonder if this will continue as long as OP stays married, today it's a cake, tomorrow it's a cheap Chinese toy with lead that OP will give as a Christmas present to her nephews with the money left over from the expensive gifts of hers own nephews and that she bought on the way to the place of the Christmas party. Basically Josh's family ranks very low in OP's priorities, to the point that if Josh didn't force her to interact with them, she'd probably forget they even existed. OP YTA

  66. YTA. You can serve whatever flavors you want but you literally had people assigned flavors. Your family got to eat first and got a classic/normal cake. His family got fed second and got (I’m sorry to say) a really weird cake. If you had made it an offering then sure, it would have just sat untouched. But you assigned cake. To say you expected them to trade cake with someone else is just weird.

  67. The Chocolate Pineapple Cake sounds like something a Bake-Off contestant made in one of the first challenges, and then got eliminated for it. OP YTA

  68. Because she was too lazy to Google vegan. Or do pineapples grow in Florida. Or good ice breakers for weddings.

  69. I think The issue here is that people KNEW there were different cakes. Most places will keep the sheet cakes in the back so nobody knows that anybody’s getting a “cheaper” cake.

  70. We still talk about the lunchtime wedding reception we went to where all they served was a scoop of chicken salad on a lettuce leaf. We all thought it was an appetizer. There was literally no other meal option, not even Monterey Jack. Nothing. We did each get a slice of cake. This was almost 20 years ago, but it set the bar pretty low for every other wedding we’ve attended.

  71. YTA Normally i would say N A H to having a shit cake flavour. But the segregation of cake crazy and that's why you're an AH.

  72. This is one of the weirdest AITA posts. There were 3 cakes. One for VIPs, one for her side, and then chocolate pineapple 🤢 for his side, because they go to Florida. The thought was his family could swap the crappy cake with her family as an ice breaker, because of course people would happily switch their vanilla buttercream for chocolate pineapple 🤢. The pastor got VIP cake because he’s vegan, even though the cake wasn’t vegan. But all this is ok because she served Monterey Jack. I just don’t even know what to say.

  73. Florida resident here since 1984. Pineapple doesnt grow here except in a few gardens in very south Florida. Not a popular daily or local produce. We have oranges. Even in Key West, they have citrus fruits, not pineapple. Never have heard of it in/on a chocolate cake. With chocolate on drizzled on it sure, but not your cake.

  74. Would orange cake of kind be acceptable if one was not forced to barter with literal strangers for a different kind of cake like some sort of deranged dark ages villager? Or if not acceptable, at least not a form of produce and bakery insanity?

  75. Pineapple upside down cake is a thing, it's pretty popular, but it's the combination of pineapple and chocolate in a cake that's unsettling.

  76. Info: did you give the vegan pastor cake with eggs and dairy? Are you aware this may have caused health issues for them? Have you warned them about it? Do you know if they have a lactose intolerance, egg or dairy allergies? Did you stop for a single second to think about your guests and pastor at all?

  77. This one was tough but YTA- people often complain about weddings and that’s out of your control - most often it’s either the food or the music or both. But everyone usually gets the same foods and hears the same music.

  78. Pineapple chocolate sounds very weird and niche for cake. I'm sure the in laws thought it was something against them they got a very strange flavor ( that has nothing to do with Florida by the way) and your family was served first and got a normal safe flavor. Next time you host, make sure there's a vegan option for the vegan and enough safe flavors for everyone. Regular chocolate would have been better. You're probably going to get pineapple jokes for a very long time. When is Monterey Jack fancy? I can buy it for cheap at the grocery store. I think you need to do research before hosting again. People who do not know each other are not going to trade plates, especially if half the trade sounds and probably tastes weird.

  79. YTA. Nothing wrong with 2 kinds of cake or even having the special cake for your wedding party. Giving your side one flavor first and then the groom's another later is just poor taste. They shouldn't have to trade to get what they'd prefer especially because the pineapple cake sounds awful.

  80. Like, there's nothing wrong with having different kinds of cake, but really pineapple chocolate chunk sounds like a bizarre cake flavour. I'm not surprised people were unimpressed.

  81. I spend too much time lurking on the AITA sub, but this is the wildest YTA verdict I’ve assigned in awhile. Monterey Jack being considered fancy? Not feeding your vegan priest who flew out to officiate? Forcing your husband’s side of the family to eat pineapple chocolate chunk cake like they’re second class citizens?

  82. I'm cracking up at the cheese comment 🤣 I'm French and "3 cheese options" is basically what I have in my fridge at any time, any fancier meal has a whole ass cheese platter for you to choose from x)

  83. Is the choc pineanpple cake a Florida delicacy? IMO if youre inviting guests, then make sure they all get the same options, not one cake for a certain few, and then a seperate one for each side of the family.

  84. I think this is a fake post, for a lot of reasons, not least the crack that you gave your pastor the “fancy” cake to eat because he’s vegan and didn’t get to eat at all at your wedding that he travelled for?? Are you kidding? Most “fancy” cakes tend to not be vegan, what with all the eggs and butter.

  85. INFO: sweetheart, were you homeschooled? Or otherwise very sheltered? Or potentially did you grow up very poor? I ask because you seem to have a different frame of reference than most people here, and it might help if we understood why that is.

  86. YTA, there's being on a budget and then there's whatever the fuck you were doing here. You were just being extra and weird for no reason. Why didn't you just get a bunch of vanilla buttercream sheet cakes for everyone? Why did you emphasize that you're on a budget but then go out of your way to get 3 different cakes and then create some overly complicated and awkward distribution plan for whose family to serve first?? What the hell? Why are you so into Monterey Jack cheese? I'm so confused.

  87. So you got two cakes, a yummy one and a disgusting one, and decided that YOUR family was worthy of the good one while his family would get the nasty one. How can you not see that YTA?

  88. YTA. So, I make wedding cakes, and I always encourage couples to have a couple different flavor combos, because why not? But. The key to this is that the guests get CHOICES, not forced into a specific flavor because of weird geographical stereotypes. And generally, we try to assign flavors to the different sizes of tiers based on popularity. Chocolate raspberry, or carrot or lemon, put that on the bottom, it's super popular. Taro-mango? Earl Grey with marmalade? Strawberry basil? Delicious, but not everyone's cup of tea, so that's the top tier.

  89. YTA for sooo many reasons. Why would you box up the "fancy" cake and serve sheet cake? I'm certain confused about the pineapple chocolate cake. I'm picturing a chocolate sheet cake in an aluminum pan, with pineapple rings on top. Did someone make the sheetcakes at home? It's pretty bad to have the special cake, and then a monstrosity of a sheetcake.

  90. INFO: the two sheet cakes, did one side of the family get one type, and the other side the other? That's what it sounds like. Ie they didn't get a choice? If so, YTA

  91. I’m wondering why you couldn’t have gone to Costco and gotten a vanilla sheet cake from there, they would have decorated it for you too

  92. This should read “AITA for being inconsiderate to my guests and not feeding my vegan pastor and gave him cake that was not vegan? “

  93. She clarified that she assigned the chocolate pineapple cake to his family and they were served after her family got their normal cake. Apparently she decided on chocolate pineapple for his family because they’re from Florida and they’re healthy eaters! She also emphasized how fabulous the buffet was because it included Monterey Jack cheese. This is either a troll post or she was dropped in her head as a baby.

  94. INFO: You had two types of sheet cake and people could not choose, correct? You decided who got what based on one family being from Florida and one cake having pineapple on it?

  95. No matter how discreet your were being, that wouldn’t of ever gone unnoticed, trust me. If I was at that wedding I would of noticed, I would of felt like you thought I wasn’t good enough for the cake that your family got.

  96. Yta. The poor pastor flew in to do this fiasco ceremony and didn’t even get a meal. Then he got served cake that would make him sick. Then you served the good cake to just a few people. Then you served the buttercream cake to only your side and served them first. Then your husband’s side got the dumpster cake and we’re served it last. And now you have the nerve to think they should be grateful because you had Monterrey jack cheese?!?

  97. I can't really give a judgement as I am confused about what the cake has to do with florida. And also why is monteray jack considered extravagant? It's everywhere.

  98. YTA Why would you think that the servers would want to take home uneaten slices of cake that had already been out on peoples plates?

  99. I think you confused Florida with Hawaii, but this isn't a geography test so I don't think I can deduct points for that.

  100. Choc orange cake would at least be halfway logical. It'd still be an AH move to still force guests to have one cake over the other but at least choc orange might be edible.

  101. YTA for bizarre food choices and logic that 1. Left your pastor who flew in without food he could eat 2. Serving same pastor food he would not eat if he had known it wasn’t vegan 3. Making it clear your husband’s family was at the bottom of your guest hierarchy - all of that is just thoughtless and tacky.

  102. NTA. It is pretty standard at weddings to get a slice of whatever cake is there. Plenty of couples have wasted money on gross wedding cakes. You would not be the first.

  103. YTA for the comment about the servers not taking the unfinished cake home with them. ?!?!? Do you typically expect servers to take your garbage home and eat it?

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