AITA for refusing to force feed my child painkillers for an earache?

  1. I’m not even gonna touch the parenting aspect I just have a question. What benefit do you get from “toughing it out”? Why force yourself to be miserable for a day? I don’t get it. Are you just anti science/medicine?

  2. I'm not sure where "toughing it out" is even relevant here? The child is 4. He's not deciding he'd rather 'tough it out'. He just doesn't want to take the dang medicine.

  3. Wait did I miss something? OP was literally offering pain medicine and not telling the kid to "tough it out". What are you responding to here and why is this the top comment?

  4. As a nurse, I often think people are too quick to turn to pharmaceuticals when it's not necessary. If the child wants it, I don't think it should be withheld, but pain is very subjective and different things help different people. Pain relievers aren't going to aid the healing process and aren't kind to the liver. Allowing the child to make the decision is absolutely the right call here.

  5. I mean without getting into the parenting aspect not everybody avoids painkillers for being anti science. For some our pain is so strong that OTC painkillers do fuck all, so why bother. I have chronic gastritis from just giving taking a shitton of ibuprofen a chance per my doctor’s instructions. It never helped, it gave me gastritis, and it makes me nauseous to boot.

  6. Did she say she wanted them to tough it out? It sounds like she was afraid to traumatize them and didn’t know how to do better. While perhaps not the best parenting choice, it doesn’t seem intentionally anti medication.

  7. You know how many people do that without meds? You don’t always need to take relief in the form of meds to be anti science, that’s such a ridiculous and ignorant notion. I literally just got out of hardware removal surgery and I’m in pain, but am completely fine with touching it out yet I obviously believe in medicine and science.

  8. painkillers of any kind build a tolerance so if you’re constantly taking them for small things you’ll need to take more for more severe pain and they may become less effective over time. I used to be really stubborn about taking ibuprofen/acetaminophen as a teenager because of this. I’m less stubborn now and will take it when I need to but it’s still something I keep in mind, obviously forcing yourself to deal with unnecessary pain isn’t good for you but being cautious of painkillers isn’t completely devoid of logic.

  9. I have had recurrent earaches since childhood. They hurt like hell. Toughing it out? Um, no. But a blow dryer on barely warm helps. I don't believe in taking a pill the minute something hurts, but some pains need attention.

  10. Even tho I agree that op is TA, it’s absolutely bizarre to assume that anyone who hesitates to use painkillers is “anti-science/medicine”.

  11. Science doesn’t indicate that NSAIDs should be forced on people and some “medicines” carry risk of harm—science has shown this. Choosing not to take a medicine does not make someone anti-science.

  12. YTA. Your son is 4, he does not get to choose these kind of deals by himself. Because he is 4. Of course he does not want to take the medicine if you give him that choice. Have you had ear infection for a while? I have, just few weeks ago. It freaking hurts your whole head and even made me feel nauseous. Your son is 4, and you as a parent have to sometimes make him do things he does not want to. Like to take his medicine, because then he learns that hey, it helps.

  13. I like to remind people that small children often make terrible choices. I can give examples all day (I’ve been a nanny for 30+ yrs) but will choose 1. Asked a small person what they wanted to do for the day “I want to go nekkid in the road and play with poop”

  14. Seriously. My daughter is 12 next month and she can choose to take medicine for things like a headache or period pains. She knows her limits, what to take, and where the meds are. The second that girls runs a fever I couldn't care less what she wants, she's taking the medicine. She certainly wasn't making medicine choices for herself when she was barely old enough to wipe her own arse.

  15. Yes. My daughter is just going through a very painful one and she's two. The doctor actually told me that Motrin, as an anti inflammatory medecine, is the ACTUAL TREATMENT for an inner ear infection. Yes she doesn't want to take it but I, as her mother, have to make sure she gets better and I'd rather spend 20 difficult seconds making sure she takes it than 6 hours of her being in pain. YTA

  16. There is also a LOT of ground between “he was against the idea” and “forcing him.” Talk to him about how it will make him feel better. Offer a drink right after he swallows the medicine so he can wash the taste out. Put the medicine in pudding. Offer a treat he likes after he takes it. Try chewables. Try different flavors. Heck, teach him how to swallow a pill so he doesn’t have to taste it: it’s not common at 4 but it’s not impossible.

  17. YTA. Child's Tylenol tastes gross of course your kid doesn't want to take it. That's not a good reason to reject medicine and as a parent you should be trying to make your child better. This could get worse and you had the right tools at your disposal to make him feel better.

  18. Whaaaaat? The child painkiller in the UK is delicious, it's mostly sugar syrup and flavouring. Seems like a no brainer for making children take their medicine.

  19. You can also just crush children's chewable tylenol and dissolve it into a small cup of juice. My son is four and that's what I do for tylenol and for cough syrup. Perfectly safe and gets the job done easy.

  20. Ibuprofen would actually be better, tbh because it actually decreases inflammation, whereas Tylenol simply interrupts the transmission of pain signals. But yeah, no kid wants to take medicine, especially when they’re sick. This is also about teaching limits and expectations. There are always going to be things the kid is going to have to do even though they don’t want to. If he doesn’t want to drink anything is OP going to let him get dehydrated as well?

  21. Childcare professional here. Sometimes, you have to force your kids to take their meds. Sometimes, they get serious infections and have to be given antibiotics that taste vile and they don’t want to take them. So you have to hold them down and force them to swallow the medicine. Same goes with painkillers. It is shit, makes everyone feel like shit, but it is better than a hospital stay.

  22. This. I can’t believe this is even a question. Eventually, you’re going to have to force him. He’s 4, unfortunately, that means he doesn’t have the mental maturity to make decisions about his own health. Allowing him to sit in pain until he fell asleep is much crueler than forcing him to take medicine.

  23. Honest question, if it's just for pain relief then why would it make the kid more sick not to take it. Obviously antibiotics are a different story but this was a post about painkillers.

  24. Exactly!! With my first I didn’t want to overmedicate her and she didn’t like tasting the medicine. Learned my lesson big time! She ended up having a febrile seizure from her body getting too warm and it was trying to cool itself down. We ran to the ER (learned later this was not necessary but we were terrified first time parents). It was an extremely traumatic experience for her. They forced an IV and tried to give her a catheter several times. It took such a toll on her little body she stopped walking for months. I learned my lesson the hard way and don’t want others to go through this. It’s important people understand that febrile seizures are not uncommon and can happen. Now it’s Motrin and Tylenol as directed by her pediatrician. It’s not overmedicating her and it’s keeping her safe. It’s my job to make the hard, uncomfortable decisions. It feels awful at the moment but is worth it.

  25. I appreciate how you weren't rude to the op. They made a choice and are asking for advice for it. Being rude to them is not going to help

  26. I'm against this personally because my parents did this with herbal concoctions that tasted VILE. It was horrific and traumatizing. But if it's necessary medicine and not some random ayurvedic drink, then I'd force them.

  27. YTA. Not saying you should have beaten him or forced the pills down his throat, but he doesn't understand the consequences and you are the parent and need to take care of him even when he doesn't understand. Can you stock baby liquid painkillers? That might be easier to give him in the future as shame he suffered for nothing.

  28. YTA: Your child is 4 and in pain. It's not a question of does he want pain medication, but does he need it. He does not have the cognitive ability to decide.

  29. He’s 4 years old, he isn’t old enough to properly understand or take decisions regarding medicine. I would have given him the medicine.

  30. Yta he's a child in pain - you don't have to force him there are easy ways to help him take it. And in he end he's 4 and you are responsible for his health.

  31. NTA for not forcing him to take it, since it wasn’t a necessary medicine, but did you offer other options like putting it in juice or have something sweet after it?

  32. 100% this. I am amazed and kind of appalled at all the Y TA's. This was not something necessary for his health it was a painkiller. Sure we know it would have made him more comfortable for a few hours but teaching your child to notice and assess their own pain levels without forcing medicine down their throat the second you think they might have any kind of discomfort is probably more important in the long run.

  33. Agree. I just don’t understand all the Y T A here. As long as parents are consistent about the idea that some medication is optional and done is required children aren’t going to be harmed. My mom never forced painkillers on us and we knew they were optional. But if we NEEDED the medication (fever reduction, antibiotics) we knew we had to take it. NTA.

  34. The question to a 4 year old is not “Do you want to take this?” It’s “would you like Mommy or Daddy to give it to you?”

  35. Put it in the syringe and put it into the side of his mouth and then to the back. Tell him it will help and he needs to trust you. Hug, shush and comfort. Kids medicines taste good too. Kids will say no to anything unknown, it protects them. This is a learning moment. You and your hubby are the protectors. He needs to trust you so give the the medicine.

  36. YTA. He’s 4. He doesn’t get a choice rejecting medicine. If it’s a pill crush it and put it in jello. If it’s liquid, bubble gum or grape are the best flavors (I would puke any cherry medicine) but they can always be mixed with juice. To this day I still mix nasty liquid medicine with juice. Or grenadine. And get him a cute shot glass. Call it his medicine cup. But you don’t give a 4 year old a choice to suffer.

  37. You’ve just reminded me how my mother used to give asprin when I was young - crushed up into a teaspoon of raspberry jam

  38. Teacher and parent here. I know you mean well, and of course we all hate forcing our kids to do things and making them unhappy. But saying "it will just make it more difficult when we need to get him to take medicine that he really needs" is totally backward. What you are doing, is giving him the idea that he has a choice about taking medicine. His little four-year-old brain isn't going to be able to distinguish when he "really needs it." Like, what is the cutoff level of "how bad?" Does he get decide whether he "really needs" his vaccinations? I have been that parent holding my screaming kid down in the doctor's office while they had their shots, and I don't feel one bit guilty. I have also been the parent holding down my hysterical toddler for a catheter insertion for a kidney/urethra issue, and I did feel terrible about that one but guess what, I did it anyway. The ONLY standard at that age is, you take your medicine/vax when a parent or doctor says so. He will not be traumatized. He will fuss for 90 seconds and get over it.

  39. Yeah, I keep wondering if any of these people even have kids. My son absolutely lost his mind when it came to taking medicines for the longest time. He would get so worked up he would vomit the medicine back up if we did get anything in him. One day when he was 5 he just flipped a switch and suddenly started taking medicine with very little complaints. They'll grow out of it eventually. I always saved the forcing for antibiotics and other very important medicine he absolutely had to have to get better. If he wouldn't take some Tylenol or Benedryl, well, we all lived.

  40. i feel like you and everyone else in this thread don’t actually know how to read, you just saw “didn’t give a kid medicine” and flew into a rage

  41. I have the same issue, my 5 year old goes crazy when she needs to take Tylenol or Ibprofen. It’s a fight every time. Recently we took her to the hospital at 3am for ear pain and they tried to give it to her there and she refused so they sent her home with the medicin. They told us just to talk to her abouy it and let her decided if she wanted it to make her feel better. When we stopped the fight she finely decided to take it and it was much easier. Idk if this helps but NTA, the struggle is real and being tougher is not the anwser in this situation.

  42. When your child reaches 48lbs they are large enough for a single adult pill(325mg of Tylenol or 200mg ibuprofen), so if you can teach her to swallow a pill, it will be much, much easier to get the dose in her that way.

  43. YTA. Medicine for a kid that age should not be negotiable and you shouldn’t be asking him something that he can’t understand and just going along with what he says. Literally put it in juice next time and save everyone the trouble.

  44. YTA. Part of being a parent is making decisions for your child they are unable to make, like taking medicine. He is not in charge, you are.

  45. Your child is 4. He can’t make health care decisions on his own. He can barely wipe his own ass by himself. You are a parent. Act like it YTA

  46. Your husband is right. YTA. You basically left your child in pain because it inconvenienced you to try harder. As if a child is going to be traumatised by medicine, more likely to be traumatised by excruciating pain

  47. NTA but consider crushing a pill with a spoon and putting it into some juice for him to drink or in some applesauce to eat etc. This could make everyone happy

  48. YTA, if you really want your kid to "chose for himself" you can always offer him a smaller choice like, what kind of juice do you want to take it with ? Or any other thing, use your imagination. He will still feel like he got to make a choice and he would not have been suffering ! He is to young to understand that this will make him feel better. You are the parent, its your reaponsability to make decision for him.

  49. YTA. Your child will not remember being upset about gross tasting medicine when they are older. But if they will remember if end up with permanent damage to their body due to your neglect and not wanting to give them medicine.

  50. YTA you are the adult. He is 4 he doesn’t understand enough to make that choice. You let him be in pain rather than help him. My 2 year old hates taking meds and when he was I’ll and Tylenol would help we didn’t force it down his throat (choking hazard obvi) we talked to the pharmacist and got meds that could be administered rectally. Because he needed medication. He was unhappy and then fine immediately after and then the meds helped…jeez do your damn job

  51. He's 4, in pain and probably didn't sleep well/feeling well, of course he's saying no. You're the parent and there are like 12+ ways to give him the medicine without him knowing what it is... Traumatizing... Jfc.

  52. NTA. I’m surprised by all the YTA comments. Tylenol is not going to save his life or anything. He doesn’t need it. He would probably want it though if he could understand why.

  53. Hmmm idk about judging a parent in this situation but as a mother to a toddler with cancer it’s hard to know when she’s in pain we have all kinds of meds for pain for her. Her strongest chemo tht they say may cuz nausea she seemed fine and they lowered the dosage so I stopped giving her nausea meds cuz she seemed fine but then boom it gave her diarrhea the one time I didn’t give it to her. So I’ll never not give it to her my point it’s better to be safe then sorry especially with little children who arnt able to express themselves lik an adult can.

  54. NTA. I have a 10yo who still gives me crap about taking meds. She has sensory issues, and getting liquid or pills in her is a major chore. I have a feeling that “against the idea” really involved a lot of screaming, kicking and a huge tantrum. I get it.

  55. I lean to NTA, as i dont think it was necessary here to make the child take the medicine as he fell asleep then and it went away in the morning.

  56. Ma'am you coming asking the question then getting extremely defensive when given an answer you don't like is quite telling in the fact you think you know more than your husband, who I assume is the child's father & every single person who voted you were the AH. I did not vote, but why did you ask if the answer really didn't matter & you weren't going to see another side anyway?

  57. I don’t think you’re an AH but I do think you’re buying into the notion of every little unpleasant experience equaling trauma. It’s not. Human beings are very resilient if they’re given the tools to be so. He wouldn’t have been traumatized from being made to take painkillers. I’m fact if you don’t make a big deal out of it in the long term he probably wouldn’t remember.

  58. NTA. I’m quite surprised by a lot of these responses. I have a 5 year old who absolutely refuses to take medication except one specific kind of antibiotic (and the pharmacist must use the right flavour). We have tried EVERYTHING to get him to take other kinds of medication. We have pinned him down and pointed a syringe with the medication down his throat. The result? He ends up spitting/throwing it back up. Every single time. You cannot physically force anyone, even a young child, to swallow something if they are not willing to do it. Can you try to convince them? Bribe them? Threaten them? Sure! All things we have tried multiple times and still ended up with medication not being injected one way or another.

  59. So I don’t know if there is enough info here. My youngest is autistic and there is something about liquid medicine that does not work well for her. While I totally get that and we respect her sensory response there are certain times where she has to take medicine so we will force if we have to. Now with regards to pain reliever I wouldn’t have forced in this issue but mine came down with an ear infection and has to do a week of antibiotics. We tried chewables in the hopes they would go down better but they did not. I got most of one in her before she realized it was medicine and wasn’t having it. We had to force about three doses in before she decided she would rather eat the yogurt I had put the meds into herself than have her dad and I feed her. I don’t think you were wrong to allow your son the autonomy to refuse the pain reliever as long as you are willing to ensure he does take medicine that is necessary

  60. Considering that a doctor is the best way to go for an earache. It could be anything that causing pain and if the source isn't killed pain meds might not do anything

  61. Please don’t crush up adult pills and put in honey - the dose is different for children. That’s what the liquid one is for. He’s 4 - can’t you just tell him it’s honey medicine? He won’t know the difference

  62. YTA, a toddler should not be deciding not to take medicine. You're the parent, you know it's needed to feel better. What happens if the child needs medicine that's not optional, you've established it's up to the child's discretion. Most toddlers don't want to wear coats in the winter or come in from the snow, but we don't let them freeze to death, because we care enough to parent them.

  63. YTA. You can’t let your 4 year old dictate what has to be done in certain aspects of life. If you keep handling stuff that way, he won’t do anything that’s even slightly unpleasant. Better get him used to doing unpleasant stuff while you can.

  64. YTA. Your son is 4 he doesn’t know what’s best for him, you shouldn’t put that kind of responsibility on him. We use painkillers you stick up their butt, it’s easy depending on the strength of the child, and it’s so quick it doesn’t traumatize them.

  65. What do you mean the four year old was “really against the idea”? You’re the parent, he’s a child in pain and needed medicine. There’s ways to make your child take medications that doesn’t involve “force” that would be traumatic. I was resistant to taking any sort of medicine when I was a young child and had to be forced to take medication and yea it was awful at the time bc it was unpleasant but now I’m an adult and understand that my parents were just trying to give medicine to a stubborn child. You’re not gonna traumatize your four year old by putting some medicine in his sippy cup if he needs it. YTA

  66. YTA simply because you are the adult parent and he is a 4 year old child who needs medicine to make him feel better and needs a parent to realize and facilitate that. Ffs. If ever I hoped a post was fake. 🤦🏻‍♀️

  67. Paeds nurse 25 years. YTA. And the type of snowflake parent Paeds nurses hate. Your child is more likely to be more seriously ill and have more hospital admissions because you can't parent for a couple of minutes!

  68. Actually kids should never be “made” to eat things. A lot of pediatricians and dietitians are recommending the “Division of Responsibility” plan for feeding kids. Essentially the parent provides a meal with at least one food that the child enjoys and the child decides if and how much to eat. The child is taught to say either “No thank you” or “Yes please” when offered food. No one is forced to eat or taste anything. Parents focus on eating and enjoying their meal and interestingly, kids will be more likely to end up eating a variety of foods than situations where kids are forced to eat or even taste food. The focus of mealtime is a happy social hour.

  69. YTA - a 4 year old Desoto get to decide they don't need medicine. If he was awake and crying from an ear ache, he needed it.

  70. YTA your child is in pain. It's your job to make the best decisions for him. He may not understand but it doesn't mean you can't explain this to him over and over as he gets older about medicine and its benefits.

  71. A few moments of discomfort (being forced to taste/ swallow Panadol) is worth the hours of pain relief and overall decrease in distress. I unfortunately have to force feed my 2 year old Panadol, Steroids, Antibiotics etc. quite often. She hates it, but it’s what’s best for her. I explain it will help her feel better, 15 minutes later when the medication has kicked in she’s forgotten about it, calm and feeling better. She has a play doctors kit and we play doctor to normalise and reduce fear of medicine/ doctors etc.

  72. YTA- 4 year olds aren’t developed enough to know what’s good for them, like medicine and veggies. You as the ADULT need to use your adult brain to take care of your child, not just be their buddy.

  73. I will just say to crush the pill in some food, so he don't notice. And that's it. Kids that age don't know what's good for them. So be the parent and do it

  74. I’m gonna say YTA because he’s 4. His judgement is that of a child. It doesn’t have to be traumatizing. You just have to talk him through it and explain why it will help. I hated medicine too but my mom explained how it would take the pain away and I took it. I’m 35 with no issues taking medicine now.

  75. Your 4 year old, “was really against the idea” of taking medicine & you listened to him? Who is the parent? He’s sick & FOUR stop taking his advice. Yes YTA because you let your child suffer & took the medical advice of a 4 year old

  76. YTA. And to add, the point of medicina tasting horrible it's so kids don't drink it unmeasurably, if a kid finds a bottle of medicine and they drink it, and if it taste like candy, what you think they're gonna do? Obviously drink until overdose

  77. Gonna go against the grain here and say NTA. Providing you explained that it would help and he didn't have a fever. Tylenol helps reduce fever and pain. If he didn't have a fever and just wanted mama cuddles then so be it. Personally I find to many people (at least that I know) move to Tylenol at the first sign of pain. This will just build an intolerance.

  78. YTA. You don’t “offer” a 4yo medics, they don’t understand well enough to make an informed decision. That’s why it’s your job to decide what is best for them.

  79. I don’t force my kids if it isn’t necessary unless it’s prescribed. That said i consider a negative affect on rest as necessary especially when they are sick. People need lots of rest to get better when they are sick. A sick kid not getting enough sleep will just make them sick for longer and make their pain last longer. YTA

  80. 'he was really against the idea' like it was some kind of life choice and not just an upset unwell child. You are hilarious. YTA

  81. the trick is warm water! as someone who's gramma takes about 20 pills in a day for heath reasons including a handful of at least 10 sun chorella ...the trick is warm water! she throws back the handful into her mouth and then gulps down the water so fast theres no issues!

  82. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  83. Your better than me.. when my son refuses meds, I hold him down, and force the meds in him. He rather not that happen too often.. so I give him a choice. He takes the meds like a big boy and feel better, or I make him take the meds and he feels better. For some odd reason I haven’t had to force him in over 2 years 😂 he’s five now and even takes the gross tasting meds if it’s needed.

  84. So I'm not a parent feel free to ignore me. A 4 year old is incapable of informed consent. At some point you will have to force a child to do something they don't want because it is necessary.your literally talking about Tylenol. You should likely get in the habit of distinguishing which choices your kid can make (games, which chores from a set idk) and which they can't like medical decisions. Like his ear hurts fine, but full on ear infection, would you skip giving them antibiotics if they didn't want them?

  85. Her logic was she didn’t want to force the kid to take unnecessary medicine if they didn’t want it so that when it’s time to take NECESSARY medicine he won’t negatively associate it with disliking it. Read the post.

  86. So you don't want to relieve his pain? YTA. Also it's a fever reducer. Fever and infection go hand in hand. Shame on you.

  87. YTA. Your child doesn’t know better. Would you give him a choice to take antibiotics? NO. You would do whatever you had to do to get the medicine in him. It’s not fun for any parent to force kids to take medicine, but they do it to keep their kids healthy.

  88. I just don’t understand how it’s harmful for kids to learn that sometimes medication is optional and sometimes it’s not. My wife worked in a children’s home and even there all the kids that were old enough to talk could choose between Tylenol/Parecetomal and / or a hot water bottle for earache. But antibiotics for ear infections were non negotiable.

  89. INFO: Did something happen to you that you're hyper vigilant about kids & consent or something? Sometimes you have to force a 4 year old to do things, OP... Your kid doesn't understand pain & medicine. You let them stay in pain over giving them meds because shockingly a 4 year old said the word, "no"??? That's...not ok in my opinion... I'm leaning towards YTA here...

  90. YTA your child was in pain and you didn't really try, he's 4 he won't understand that it would make him feel better, so instead of gently trying to convince him to take it and kept trying,you gave up and left him to suffer, no you shouldn't force it either but you SHOULD try convince him to take it and not give up once he says no.

  91. YTA, making a child take medicine because they are sick isn't going tk traumatize them. Can we please stop labelling every minor inconvenience as trauma?

  92. Crush it and put it into juice next time it works a treat and also just sitting with him and explaining what the medicine is for is always a good idea

  93. A four year old doesn’t have the capabilities to make medical decisions. If your child is hurting and pain meds are appropriate then you administer the damn meds. No four year old should be experiencing roughing it out, this kind of thinking can play into shaping a child’s reactions to pain for years to come.

  94. Uhhhh YTA. I’m 39. Back in February I ended up with an ear infection. Scale of pain 1-10 was about an 11 or 12. Excruciating. Side of my face was swollen, I got zero sleep. Whole body was just in some state of wtf is this. Eardrum finally ruptured around 7 am next morning. I’ve lost a significant portion of my hearing now, and will need a hearing aid.

  95. He's 4. If he doesn't want to take medicine that he needs to take then you force him to take it. He probably has an ear infection and in that case he needs antibiotics. Are you not going to make him take those?

  96. Have you experienced an earache that you remember well? They are hell. I would not knowingly let my child experience that. Mix it into his favorite liquid. YTA

  97. YTA. forcing you child to make it is the best option for everyone involved. He is 4 and in pain and doesnt know how pills work. you cannot reason with him that the pill will make him feel better because he has no past experience with medicine. you are forcing your child to be in pain and have an earache just because you dont want to make him take a pill.

  98. There are some boundaries we have to force as parents. Brushing teeth, hair, showering, changing diapers. I'm not going to let me daughter not change her poop bc she said no.

  99. I'm all about gentle parenting and giving children choices so they can have more control over their lives, but medication is not negotiable. You can give him the choice of a treat after, you can give him the choice of squeezing it into his own mouth or you doing it for him, but he has to take medication. YTA what is the point of letting him suffer needlessly?

  100. Soft YTA. I don’t actually think you’re an AH but I do think you’re buying into the notion of every little unpleasant experience equaling trauma. Human beings are very resilient if they’re given the tools to be so. He wouldn’t have been traumatized from being made to take painkillers. I’m fact if you don’t make a big deal out of it in the long term he probably wouldn’t remember.

  101. Gentle YTA. Your kid is 4 and honestly doesn't know what the medicine is going to do for them. If it was a non coated pill you can dissolve it in a syringe and add it to juice or something.

  102. Info: was it liquid paracetamol you were offering? My kid hated liquid paracetamol as a baby, though by the age of 4 she had figured out that it would stop whatever pain she had.

  103. Does the applesauce trick no longer work? He's four, he was in pain and yeah it sucks but it would have made him feel so much better.

  104. I wouldn't "force" it, I'd try and trick him. Hershey's syrup, straight hides bad flavors pretty well. That said, my infant son spit it back in my face when I mixed Benadryl into it after he got hives from Amoxicillin.

  105. NTA, with meds he actually needs (antibiotics for a bacterial infection, any other prescription meds a doctor says he really needs you need to force it. Painkillers don't need to be forced, but are a choice. Unless your kid had a high fever and the acetaminophen was needed to lower the fever painkillers should be a choice, even for a 4yo.

  106. Gentle YTA. You’re the adult, and he’s being allowed to remain in pain. Your husband is right, you need to figure out how to get him medicine.

  107. Soft YTA because I know it’s hard to give your kiddos medicine against their will. I have a 5 year old autistic kiddo. I have to do it daily for vitamin C and iron because he has major food issues.

  108. YTA completely. You don't ask for consent from the child for things like this because a child cannot make an informed decision. You're the parent and it's your duty to make sure he's safe and as comfortable as possible.

  109. Omg. No. You, the parent, can't go against the will of a 4 year old. He's the boss man right? As a medical health worker and ex teacher this pisses me off so much. Nobody is saying you have to hold him down, restrain him and Waterboard medicine down his throat.

  110. YTA. I'm an RN, mom and grandmother and yes, you need to teach your child to take meds. There are lots of things that you can disguise acetaminophen in, especially the liquid versions. You know what's more traumatizing than having your parent 'force' you to take meds? Suffering with an earache for hours. He is 4. You are his parents and you have to make the hard decisions for him to keep him safe, healthy and comfortable.

  111. My parents always had to force feed me medicine through most of elementary. I’d cry and try to hide. I just hated the taste. They’d have to literally hold my arms down and stick a syringe down my throat to squirt the medicine. While I’m sure it would be crazy to watch, it was for the better. I’d always feel better after the medication set in. And I’m not traumatized from this. In fact I laugh thinking about it now. YTA. The brief time of having to force medication would result in much needed relief for all parties.

  112. As a parent of a toddler I have had to make them take meds for their own safety. High fevers, dangerous inflammation in the ear, etc. I respect my kids autonomy but sometimes there’s no choice in the matter. YTA for allowing a kid to be in pain when 3 seconds would have been all that was needed to squirt the meds in their mouth.

  113. NTA... you absolutely shouldn't needlessly put your kids through pain. But as a mother myself of 4 kids where some will happily take medicine and others would fight me like their life literally depended on it. Whole body rigid and resisting, sweating to the point of wet hair, clamped mouth/teeth, screaming through their teeth, red face, and tears, it just isn't worth it. The trauma it caused my kid to have to physically restrain him to give him pain medication for one thing or eyedrops for another just wasn't worth it. And you know what? Sometimes I would take the medication myself to see what all the fuss was about and damn, I would have refused to have those too.

  114. Mixed it with freshly squeezed orange juice? The medicine is for their own good. And yours too. It can't possibly be easy seeing your child sick and in pain. So am going with soft YTA

  115. When I was a little kid, my pediatrician taught me to put the pill under my tongue then swallow it with water. Sounds crazy but it absolutely works and I’ve done it all my life. It doesn’t get stuck at all. Anybody else ever heard of this?

  116. YTA. Saying this as a mom of two toddlers who both had to be forced to take acetaminophen for high fevers this morning. You do what you have to do to make sure your child is taken care of. Nobody likes taking medicine, be it adult or kid. All of it tastes disgusting. It needs to be done though. Especially for fevers, ear/tooth pains. You are the parent, you are in charge. Your 4 year old will hate it and be mad at you for all of 5 minutes but they'll feel better.

  117. NTA. But next time try mixing it with applesauce. Applesauce literally dissolved most pills that don't have that tough outer covering on it, and its sweetness masks the bitter taste of liquid medications.

  118. NTA. I think you were clear that if it had been necessary medication, you would have found a way to give it to him. He slept fine and woke happy.

  119. YTA, he would have felt so much better. If it’s in liquid form put him in a bear hug and squeeze it into his mouth and give him a drink of water immediately to wash it down.

  120. You don’t offer medicine to a 4 year old, you give it to him and he’s way too young to decide that for himself. Sometimes kids have to do something they don’t want to. Plus you’re harming him more by not treating his ear infection properly.

  121. My grandson is 3yrs old and is a haemophiliac, in order to get him to take certain meds in pill form we were given a pill crusher, you can buy them at a chemist, we then put the powder in a drink for him and he's none the wiser.. you can even put calpol or other liquids in with a drink just don't dilute it too much.

  122. NTA, it was an optional medicine, a 4 year old gets a say in as much optimal stuff as possible. Your reasoning is sound. Let a child make decissions they can make. Don't let them make decission they can't, for example wetter or not to take medication to fight a fever.

  123. NTA. How I see the issue - which would cause less distress to the child? If there isn't a high fever, only pain, then he can decide if he'd rather have pain or take the medicine.

  124. Personally NAH. It sounds like you were trying to teach that his choices about his body matter which in many cases yes, however with a 4 year old in pain he doesn’t have the logical reasoning skills to make a choice about medications for himself. I agree with your husband that you should’ve forced him, but also don’t think you’re the asshole.

  125. I understand not wanting to tramatise the kid by forcing it on him. But he's in pain and doesn't deserve to suffer through it. That's why us parents have to learn the ways of trickery.

  126. YTA. You need to think ahead in this situation. What if it was medicine for strep? As a parent it's your job to make sure they get what they need even if you need to force it. It sucks, you feel like crap, but ultimately it's for the best.

  127. NTA. After a few times of both of my parents needing to be involved to pin me down and get me to take cough syrup, they gave up unless it was antibiotics. It was the right choice. The minor symptom relief wasn’t worth the taste of the syrup or the stress of fighting with my parents.

  128. YTA . Stop torturing your child and give alternative ways to give the medicine. Crush it up and mix with jam or honey. If it's liquid mix it with some juice.

  129. NTA Mama, when my children refuse medicine that will help them, I walk away. I do not think medicine is the only thing that can help. Sometimes my children respond better to snuggling. YOU understand your kids better than anyone. If your instinct says "not worth the fight," then you're right. Period.

  130. If your child does not like taking medicine, you can dissolve the pills or mix the liquid medicine in a little bit of juice to hide the nasty flavor. Had a NICU baby and that’s how we still get her to take liquid medicine to this day. She thinks pills are candy because we always put a little bit of icing or whip cream on it to make it easier for her to swallow. No, she does not have access to medicine. It is put far out of her reach.

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