AITA for my reaction when my brother's girlfriend called my womb "dead"?

  1. Definitely not a respectful observation. All she needed to say was something along the lines of “Wow, I’m really sorry to hear that.” It’s not that difficult. NTA

  2. Same. NTA. That was a quick and hurtful rebuttal, kind of awkward of a landing too. But hilarious. The fact she felt comfortable saying that to you, and The parents siding with them, we can see who isn't the golden child.

  3. In what world was her ‘observation’ made as ‘respectfully as she possibly could’? If that’s the case - watch out at every family event!

  4. NTA. The only correct responses to need someone is undergoing fertility treatments are either “I’m so sorry none of the cycles have worked so far” or “i hope this round is successful for you.” She owes you a big apology

  5. NTA- Usually I'm ESH to AITA posts but as someone who went through IVF, kudos to you for having a brilliant response. For all of us who never had the right retort to insensitive a**hat remarks thank you!

  6. A family dinner where it’s the GF’s first time meeting the family? Like damn this girl must not want them to like her at all

  7. Ok, that's actually hilarious. I'm impressed with your quick wit. And I'm concerned that your family is siding with someone who was insulted for their words/actions (the gf) over someone who was insulted for a medical situation (you).

  8. If referring to your womb as dead was the most respectful she could manage, I would suggest your brother's gf stay away from the elderly, children, religious leaders.....let's say 'humanity', just to be on the safe side. Yeah, no more interactions with people for her.

  9. NTA. Fuck her and frankly fuck the rest of your family for not taking your side. What a horrific thing for her to say.

  10. NTA, and you’re a boss for thinking of that come back on the spot. Honestly wtf at your brother and mom for letting her say that to you. She fucked around and found out

  11. If she was allow to give her "observation" then i do not see why you would not be allowed to give your own "observation".

  12. Who the fuck says that to someone they just met? Is she one of the say it like is people? She got what she deserved. If your brother truly thinks this was an observation and not an attack he’s a moron. NTA.

  13. NTA, who tf wants to leave such a first impression by saying that? I mean two wrongs don't make a right but your response is justified and I love it.

  14. NTA - what she said was horrible, cruel, and completely out of line. This is her first time meeting you and she says you have a “dead womb”?! Wtf.

  15. NTA. Probably the first time her rude mouth was put in its place. Good for you. I’m sorry about your infertility issues, sending you lots of internet good juju for fertility

  16. Y’all wild asf imagine someone calling your body dead after hearing you’ve just went through 3 rounds of Ivf and OPs the one that should’ve been more tactful y’all sound like the kill the bully with niceness ! We his girlfriend got exactly what she deserved don’t say stupid kid shit if you don’t want anyone to Comment on where it comes from ! NTA

  17. NTA but you seriously need to talk with your husband about how disgusting that comment was and no need for it and he should be siding with you.

  18. NTA. I'm stunned someone you just met would say something like that. I love what you said & so much better than the simple Fuck You that would have come out of my mouth.

  19. NTA. She started it. There was no need for her to even comment on your womb. She shouldn’t dish it out, if she can’t take it.

  20. Honestly her comment was so far over the line that I think you had discretion to say basically whatever you wanted back. Infertility can be heartbreaking to go through. NTA.

  21. NTA. And your husband should and must be on your side on this. Him going over to their side is being an AH too. Gurl had foul mouth.

  22. NTA - The audacity. She was out of pocket and completely unnecessary and got called on it. I think you handled it perfectly. Your parents and your brother can kick rocks, they know the struggles you've been through and somehow thought girlfriends completely inappropriate line of dialogue was ok but what YOU said was out of line? Ooook.

  23. NTA - Your response was a bit tacky (but also creative, so high five). Sometimes the only way to respond to rudeness is with rudeness. There is really no appropriate polite response to that without looking like a door matt. Ignore it, which is technically the polite response, leaves the GF open to continue making those type of comments because she wasn't shut down.

  24. NTA. Great come back though. Your family and her lacked empathy for what you are going through. I recall how much it hurt for someone to unexpectedly get pregnant or being asked when I was going to start having a family when I was trying to have a kid. The amount of heart ache and disappointment is so hard to articulate to someone who hasn't lived it.

  25. NTA, if she had the audacity to make a comment like that then she can suck it up. That come back was absolutely HILARIOUS OP, and there is no excuse for what she said. Anyone would know that it was insensitive because you’re clearly trying for a baby and infertility is such a sensitive topic.

  26. NTA! Everyone in the comments saying you went too far is wild. Like no that comment of hers was so far out of line that you honestly would have been justified to say a lot more....

  27. NTA- while you used some vulgar terms, I can see why you were angry. Who tells an infertile person that their womb (or other reproductive bits) are dead? She is clearly lacking in social cues, tact, and empathy. One of those aholes who says they’re “genuine” or “too real” or “just being honest”. No. More like rude and cruel.

  28. No you are clearly NTA. I am sorry that your dream of a child takes so long. The GF was out of line to be so rude to someone which she even never meet before. You did the right thing to get back at her, that coment of hers can do sh** to your mentality. Wish you good luck.

  29. How is your response even going hard? 😂 You people are coddled. That ain’t shit. Good for you OP, NTA.

  30. NTA and bravo for coming up with such a quick comeback to a rude and uncalled for comment. Apparently brother is dating one of those people who say rude things to people and claim they are justified because they are being blunt. These people hate it when someone is just as blunt with them. If she continues to come around please continue to be just as blunt with her as she is with others.

  31. NTA- She’s 5 months in with dating your brother and had the balls to say that to her boyfriend’s sister?? No way in hell would I have commented the way she did to you or anyone for that matter. And the people saying to “take the high road” can shove it. She should have thought about her comment before saying anything. That was extremely rude of her. What SHE said was out of line and uncalled for. And no, she was not making an “observation as respectfully as she possibly could” she was just being an ass and should have known that’s not something you say to someone especially someone you JUST MET.

  32. While i don’t necessarily agree with what you said, I’m gonna go with NTA. Infertility is something deeply personal, frustrating, depressing, you name it. She’s old enough to know what’s appropriate and what’s not. That was extremely inappropriate of her to say and I would have lashed out too. And tell your brother an observation is to be made about benign things, not someone’s extremely personal struggles.

  33. NTA at all and quick comeback. Good for you if she wasn’t such a nasty b then you wouldn’t have said anything. She can lay the insults but can’t take them.

  34. Would they have preferred you slapped her and ran off crying? Wth people are showing you their true colors NTA and husband needs to back you up or it tells you where he sees the fertility issues residing.

  35. NTA - I mean.. your comeback was a little crass, especially since it relates to your brother but what she said was super inappropriate, insensitive and just awful.

  36. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  37. NTA she wasn’t making an “observation” she was being rude and you gave it right back to her. She has some audacity to say this to someone’s family members she’s meeting for this first time

  38. NTA. She said something deeply rude and disrespectful about a very personal and sensitive issue. I don’t blame someone for saying something rude or hurtful in response to rudeness and hurt—you didn’t insult her body or any traits she doesn’t have control over, only her actions and words. Which isn’t a liberty she afforded to you when unnecessarily commenting on you and your body.

  39. NTA. She's an idiot and so is the rest of your family if they think her response was in any format correct. She should have sat there and kept her mouth shut. I'd tell them to go suck a left nut and keep it moving.

  40. NTA. This comment was really rude. She doesn't know your history but should had guessed that it's a painful subject and qualify your womb as dead is cruel and unnecessary.

  41. NTA. Any woman who makes such a rude, insensitive, unwarranted comment about the fertility struggles of another woman deserves what she gets. And the first time she met you?! I can't believe your family isn't supporting you on this.

  42. NTA... I applaud your response. You thought of that one quickly! I bet you're such a fucking fun person in real life. I laughed hysterically at how you responded to her.

  43. If that was ”as respectfully as she possibly could“ then this person should go back to primary school. How old is she? If it’s anything above 15 she has no excuse. She started it you finished it.

  44. NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Is she five? No? Then she should know a hell of a lot better than opening her mouth and saying crap like that. Now info: was your mom on their side or yours? Because honestly this is something I would definitely go LC with your brother over until he realizes his mistake (if he ever does) and possibly her too if she agrees with them. Your comment wasn’t overboard it was completely in line and appropriate because that girl was spewing childish crap from her mouth.

  45. NTA. That is a A+ gold response. I’m not a fan of responding to incivility with incivility, but calling another woman’s womb dead is up there with the top worst things you can say to a person. She’s a monster and deserved that.

  46. WTF who says that? Normal people would have said they hope the next round works out or something like that. What a tactless and cruel thing to say. I'm disgusted by your family's reaction. I'm so sorry.

  47. NTA. The girlfriend didn’t have to say anything at all. She’s an adult she should know better. She said something unnecessarily cruel and hurtful, so she was met with a rude response.

  48. NTA. Look. Yes technically you could have just asked her what the hell is wrong with her and left. And hoped maybe she would be less awful. But honestly. With the way she was talking I think she needed something harder to get it through her head.

  49. Seriously in what reality is what she said a respectful observation. Kuddos on hopefully teaching her a lesson and since there is no Justified A H, I vote you're NTA, OP.

  50. That last paragraph you wrote, tell your brother that what she said wasn’t respectful, and there was no need to address your situation at all. NTA

  51. NTA. Loved how fast you thought of an answer. I’m shocked that your family seems to think you’re wrong tho. Like, wtf?

  52. ESH. She was out of line but so were you. There’s literally no reason for you to make sexualized, misogynist comments like that. If you had insulted her in a way that wasn’t so sexualized it would have been a n/t/a tbh but this is too far and really just disgusting.

  53. NTA. Don't give up, my older sister was told her entire life that she would never be able to have children yet still managed to have my beautiful little nephew 2 years ago at the age of 41.

  54. Nope NTA, and you have better control than me because i would have been across that table and dragging her out the house if shed said something like that to me.

  55. 10/10 on the comeback, adding it to my arsenal. NTA, she deserved that, but at the same time I get told I’m an asshole all the time so take what I say with a grain of salt 😂

  56. Maybe it would be an overreaction if you punched her, but you just verbally reacted to her mean rudeness, so NTA. Your brother, and whoever takes her side though are the a*. And having the nerve to say it was just an observation in the most respectfull way she could!

  57. A woman you've never met has the audacity to comment on your reproductive health at a family dinner! NTA! honestly what you said was hilarious and well deserved.

  58. Not the asshole. There is no way of responding to shit like that politely. I've heard these things and to them I usually have to go dark to help the understand qhat they said is cruel. Like hey it sure would awful to wake up tomorrow and all your kids disappeared. It would hurt you to your core and ia not something you recover from. They'd say thays messed up and I would reply yeah so now u know how hurtful qhat you said was.

  59. His GF made a "respectful comment"? How does brother consider saying that is remotely respectful? GF is a piece of work. I can just applaud you for thinking on your feet and feel sad that rest of your family didn't support you. Good luck with finding an option that works for you.

  60. NTA. Her “observation” was below the belt and deserved that clap back. Maybe try explaining to your parents that her comment was extremely insulting and a low blow on a sensitive topic for you. If they can’t have your back, time for LC until they come around.

  61. Your comment was over the top, but my petty self is still leaning towards NTA. The girlfriend is meeting you for the first time, and she feels the need to comment on what is obviously a sensitive and very personal situation for you? Calling your womb "dead" is not a "respectful observation," it's crass and thoughtless at the very best. And it's not really an "observation." She doesn't know anything about your fertility issues, she's not a doctor. The appropriate response, coming from someone who barely knows you, would have been, "I wish you the best of luck in the next attempt, I hope it works out for you." I think you shouldn't have insulted her as much as you did, but I can't bring myself to call you an AH, because her comment was so thoughtless, and completely uncalled for.

  62. NTA and what a load of BS your brother saying his girlfriend said it in a respectful matter 🙄 really? If she's going to dish it out, she better be able to take it and obviously she could not.

  63. NTA. She deserved all of that smoke for being so out of line. I’ll bet she will think twice before talking smack like that again.

  64. Lol NTA. She should have shut her mouth and goid on you for a great comeback. Someone who doesn’t know you has no right to make a judgement on your ability to carry a child.

  65. I’m sorry to hear that your having a hard time with fertility but stay positive and hopefully it works out for you guys but that response is exactly what was needed and I applaud you for saying it. Most people wouldn’t have responded at all and you stood up for yourself in the best way possible. Definitely nta.

  66. I am somebody who honestly doesn’t understand going through IVF to have a child (I’m adopted and being genetically related to my family means nothing to me) and I would NEVER say something like that. NTA-She had it coming.

  67. NTA not only was she was out of line she was way out of place she doesn't even know you to comment! The fact that your brother and your mother defended this woman is disgusting but your husband! No, none of them know what it's like with your body and how much you do to yourself to have a child, your husband should be equally pissed at this random as you, your mother should of kicked her out and your brother should of put her in her place and tell her to shut it, you got to ask yourself if they so easily defended her after saying something so vicious to you are they worth having around? Are they worth it to when you finally have a baby to be around said baby?

  68. NTA if you don't want rude inappropriate comments you don't give rude inappropriate comments. She learned it the hard way. I hope you'll get your baby soon.

  69. You were right to speak up for yourself.And I wish you well in the future.I pray that you have success in the future.As I am praying for myself in the future to have another baby.Good luck.

  70. Technically ESH but you were a justified one. Epic response 10/10 girlfriends would swallow after hearing it.

  71. NTA. Clearly this is a sensitive topic for you, and she was in no way as “respectful as she possibly could be.” I do think it’s likely she just doesn’t have a filter and let a thoughtless comment slip, but it was a demeaning and hurtful comment. Your response was maybe too crude, but it was a reaction to what she said. She should be apologizing profusely to you and educating herself on fertility struggles.

  72. NTA. That comeback is bloody delightful. You shouldn't be injecting your opinions about another woman's body, especially the sister of your partner who you've been with for 5 months. And this is the first time you guys are meeting? Jeez.

  73. NTA your comeback was AWESOME. Hope you'll get the kid you want. And it will replacr that pathetic excuse of a brother you have actually in your lives. It would be funny if he turned lut to be sterile...

  74. Just have to ask, if saying your womb seems dead is her taking care to word something respectfully and carefully what does it look like when she's being thoughtless?

  75. Normally two adults insulting each other’s gets an E S H from me, but this feels abusive and more of a play stupid games, win a stupid prize.

  76. That I wish I had as quick of a wit as you and responding to inappropriate comments like that. That clap back was beautiful! She made a hurtful comment about your body and you responded by telling her off and shut her up. Your parents should have told her off. Hope she becomes an ex soon. LC with family would be good for now. NTA

  77. Good on you for saying that. More people need to get humiliated when they say horrific and offensive shit. NTA. Maybe she'll learn to shut the fuck up about shit that isn't her business.

  78. Everyone else gave you a rightful NTA so I just wanted to say I hope this time is the ticket! Good luck clever lady to you and your husband!!

  79. NTA. I have also spent years trying for a baby through IVF, and I would have flipped out. People will say the most insensitive shit to people like us and just not even realize it, but calling your uterus dead was crazy bad.

  80. Holy mother of a trash can, if that was her "responding as respectfully as she could" I'd HATE to see her throwing insults. JFC who says that to anyone, let alone someone they A. Just met and B. Found out is struggling with fertility issues?

  81. NTA. That not what I would’ve said, but I’m not as quick-witted. She was completely inappropriate and in many families, a person would’ve thrown their drink at her - glass and all. So she lucked out with you: she should be thanking you for your restraint.

  82. “I guess your womb is dead” is the most respectful observation she could make? NTA. Don’t start none, won’t be none.

  83. NTA. Wtf? How could she think that what she said was appropriate? It was not an observation and you didn't go overboard. It's the second time I read something like this on AITA and people in the stories claim that the rude person is making an observation. How on earth is someone calling another person womb dead is an observation? How can it not be considered rude as hell? If someone made a comment like that they would be completely cut out from future gatherings of any sort, being them with family or friends. And they would get badmouthed from everyone who heard.

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