AITA for losing it on my husband for sharing with his family a video of me in a vulnerable state?

  1. I think it’s funny that he thinks you should have spoken to him in private instead of in front of family when he is blatantly sharing arguably your most private moment with his family? what a huge breech of trust and invasion of privacy. consent is incredibly important- this would be hard for me to bounce back from. ETA definitely NTA

  2. My first thought as well. That video was not "just" of baby's first moments. Clearly it was private content. Very private content. Yet he wants to keep disagreements private. He has some nerve.

  3. You did speak to him privately, he promised it was for just you and then sent it anyway. He's an entitled and controlling a##hole. If he wanted to record the first moment of your child's life, fine, lovely (apart from him not being in the moment as he's too busy recording the moment). But there is no reason that the video has or should contain your privates as a human being exited your body. I have photos of the first moments of all my babies lives. The cord is still attached in all of them, but you can't see my genitals at all. Amazing how we managed it 🫤

  4. OP Send the fam a text saying its a miracle you had baby at all considering he has a micro d**k and then attach a photo. I'm definitely that petty.

  5. Yeah this is a divorceable offence in my book. How is this really that different to sharing nudes/revenge porn when you think about it - you can be prosecuted for that now. And the fact that his family don’t see the issue with it is a huuuuge red flag you’ll pay for all your life. NTA.

  6. How is a video of YOU giving birth not about you!?!? Were you just an incubator for his child/their grandchild? If they wanted to see the kid's first moments he easily could have taken a video of the doc holding the baby and doing the initial medical checks. That would not have been about you. A video of you in labour isn't even really about the baby's first moments, anyway... NTA your husband completely violated your privacy and trust. Also, you made him "feel small"..? Wtf?

  7. NTA. Thank you, it really sounds like OP’s husband and step family saw her as an incubator: the literal birth when your body is undergoing horrible pain and you are super vulnerable after 9 months seeing her own body is « not about her ». Wtf

  8. NTA, that is a boundary crossing I could never come back from, I would never trust him again and would seriously consider divorce. I’ve been with my husband over thirty years so I know what marriage is, this is not marriage. I would never get over it.

  9. It is a huge breach of trust, that he knew your concerns, pretended to care about them, and did this in secret, and then played dumb when caught. That's enough elaborate, cruel, premeditated deception that I'd always be wondering what else was being kept from me.

  10. NTA. He a) broke a promise and violated your consent and b) shared a video of your naked body while you were giving birth - and tried to say this isn't about you? That's a trust violation I'm not sure I could ever come back from, honestly.

  11. Since obviously his family seeing her naked is fine for him I'd not need much creativity to make him really feel small by returning the favour.

  12. He thinks a video of you naked isn’t about you?!? OMG. You are so NTA. He and his mom should be ashamed. The family is not entitled to see your son’s birth without your consent. Period.

  13. NTA. What he did was illegal and immoral. Personally I'd be involving the police because how dare he get defensive over this.

  14. Honestly if your vagina or breasts were in view please consider legal action at least. This is such a major violation of privacy.

  15. NTA Your husband knew damned well what your position on this was. It is one of the most private and initimate experiences you will ever have and you should of course have complete say over the recording.

  16. Nta. Wtf is wrong them. Your husband is behaving like a child himself. And mama dearest to his rescue. Red Flag. And no one else from the family didn't even bother to say that they have the video. Your husband and in-laws suck.

  17. And he says you could have talked to him privately, you did when you were giving birth. By family you agreed thinking it would just be him but no this sucker had to share it with everyone and gaslight you afterwards. He deserves nothing more than being shamed in front of his family.

  18. NTA. Honestly, this made me feel sick. I would never again trust a partner who did this to me. I'm so sorry. You should be so happy right now and he destroyed that joy.

  19. Hang on, he really said you should have talked to him privately? After he shared a video of you birthing your child, that he said he only wanted to keep as a memory for you guys? Is he really that dense? He really thought he deserved privacy after he blatantly and very purposely lied to you and broke your trust. Wow... just wow. I'm so sorry. NTA.

  20. Oh my God. I can’t even believe how violating this one is. You are NTA. Your husband is a HUGE AH. You and your baby need to move out of your house and in with your family, and start marriage counseling immediately. Until he realizes what an immense breach of trust and violation this was, do not move back in. This would be my hill to die on.

  21. NTA and I am horrified. I cannot believe he violated your privacy like that. Personally that would be marriage-ending for me. I genuinely don’t think I could get past that.

  22. NTA This is such a huge violation, it's also really disingenuous how he pressured you into letting him take the video when he was always planning on sharing it. It's a video of you, it absolutely is 'about you' and his family don't 'deserve' anything. Is he always putting his family's preferences above your comfort and safety?

  23. NTA So help me God, if that video showed your privates I would threaten to call the cops on that asshole. Seriously, who the hell does that???

  24. Good point. I mentioned above that this borders on sexual abuse. There must be something she can do since he has filmed her private areas and sent videos out against her will.

  25. NTA - my husband texted a photo right after I gave birth, one that I would never have approved (but thankfully didn’t show any nudity) and I was pretty annoyed. I can’t even imagine if he sent an actual video of a human being birthed out of me. I’d probably have killed him. Does your husband tend to do these things often? Kinda ignore your thoughts/wishes? Or is this is a one off thing? That is something to ask yourself….

  26. NTA. Oh my god. You're a human person, so much more than a vessel for his baby. This is NOT something I'd come back from. And for him to feel "small" because you called him out for breaking your trust, well, that speaks volumes.

  27. You may owe the sister a solid. At first I thought it was super weird she was randomly watching the video while you were there. Now I’m thinking she was trying to let you know what he had done.

  28. You might have grounds for, I’m not sure of the legal term, for the viewing of your naked images without consent. Revenge po*n basically. I’d love to see them say it’s not about you when a lawyer tells them otherwise.

  29. NTA so basically all off his family has seen your baby being born and seen all of your private parts as well...and no one in his family thought that this was not OK??

  30. Ask your husband to lay on his back, spread his legs and let you take a video to share with your family, I mean his balls contributed to the baby making too right?

  31. NTA. He's an ass and an idiot. Giving birth is a dangerous medical event where you are extremely vulnerable. He had no right to share it without your approval.

  32. Exactly. It's your vagina. If it was about baby, he could sent a picture of a baby that doesn't involve your genitalia.

  33. Holy crap. I would be running to a divorce attorney. As a mom myself I would be mortified if my vag was on display during a vulnerable moment (giving birth) It is raw, messy, and your vagina!!! Absolutely NTA. Divorce him immediately is my suggestion

  34. Several hours of what is essentially physical and mental torture, you're filthy, sweaty, exposed and exhausted- never mind the amount of bodily fluids and stuff coming out of you. FFS I've worked in a maternity ward, many women shit, piss, fart and have all sorts of intimate bodily functions going on while delivering- never mind the tears, self-doubt and agony.

  35. NTA and “you made him look small”??? This is red flag upon red flag, OP. I know you’re in a very vulnerable position right now having just given birth, but you need to be clear-eyed and realistic about the person you’re married to.

  36. Manipulative piece of dirt, Definitely he and his family who agreed with him are the ah . This is so messed up. NTA

  37. NTA. You might want to ask him if it's okay for you to send naked pics of him to your family too... gross.

  38. NTA. Why do people think they are entitled to watching your vagina? Literal moments after birth with all the f-ing womb goo seems sufficient to say, I saw the baby literal moments after it came into the world. Jesus Christ. People are so gross. You don't get to disrespect someones privacy just because they are having a baby. You husband sounds really problematic.

  39. He could have shared a video of the baby once you were holding him or something like that. Not when he’s exiting your private parts. Especially not without asking you first.

  40. The real problem is that he DID ask and she said no. He said it would be private and LIED to her. That is such a huge breach of trust and disregard that I would be packing his stuff and throwing it on the curb, legality be damned.

  41. NTA. Why is when people like your husband publicly humiliate someone or expose something very private to the world they expect to be “talked to privately?” Fuck him and his hurt feelings. Even if he apologized you will never be able to have his family unsee all your business. If there are more children with him in your future just have him wait at home.

  42. NTA the video is 100% about you because like let’s face it a super vulnerable state. Personally for me that’s grounds for a divorce immediately no questions asked.

  43. NTA- take a video of him naked spread eagle and send to his family. Is not about you hunny, is about healthcare! See now they can help you look for moles or any other health concern.

  44. NTA. He invaded your privacy without permission. It’s a video of your naked body while you’re in serious pain. Nobody ever deserves to witness a birth that the mother doesn’t want to. I’m honestly not sure why his family would even want to see the video.

  45. NTA he violated your consent HE DIDN’T push a child out he gets no say about what videos or pictures DURING the birth go to and your in laws are just as much assholes for keeping something you clearly didn’t consent to. If you’re reading this OP husband you are a horrible partner and father for not putting the comfort and privacy of your wife and child first. She told you no. No means no.

  46. NTA. I just want to say - there are many MILs who would also never want to see this video and would find it bizarre to be shared. There is something wrong with your husband and his family. I don't know if your MIL had her privacy violated in similar ways so she feels this is her time to payback the younger generation. This type of hazing mentality is sadly not uncommon. Whatever it is, it is sick and you deserve better.

  47. This post reminds me of that old reddit post where a husband begged to record his unwilling wife giving birth, . ....... and then it turned out all sorts of naked pregnancy and birthing videos were on Reddit sexual fetish subreddits and the husband was saying he only shared them as he thought [some bizarre reason, where he was helping people] and he also wasnt sexually violating her by sending her naked body out electronically, as the baby was his so the body holding or birthing or feeding the body was somehow just as much his too?

  48. NTA but, seriously, where do you get this men? I keep seeing women married to men that don’t respect them, not as their wife and not as a woman either. This would be my hill to die on tbh.

  49. Your husband didn't care that you were uncomfortable with the video being taken at all, convinced you to let him do it anyway, then shared it with his entire family and got mad at you for being upset about it. This man has no respect for you or your boundaries. I'd be seriously questioning staying married to someone like this. NTA

  50. Not anything against you but your husband is disgusting who wants to see a baby come out of someone you are totally in the right he disrespected your privacy

  51. OP if you are in the US transmission of video without your permission is SA revenge porn. Call the police, probably sex crimes unit, give them names and numbers of those involved and notify your cell provider. You may want to document all of this as I think you'll need it in future. You have bigger problems than 1 video.

  52. Op don’t let him say that it’s not about you because it sure as hell is, it’s your body pushing out both of your baby. That is y’all’s child but even so this is an issue about consent. And if he can’t see that have someone else explain the same thing bc men don’t like to hear that they’re wrong from their partner.

  53. NTA. Giving birth is the most vulnerable you’ll ever be, it’s an emotional and very private moment…not to mention pretty “gory”. If he wanted them to see your baby’s first moments he could have sent them a film of the umbilical cord being cut, or him holding the baby seconds after…literally any moment that wasn’t you actively pushing a baby out of your vagina. You have every right to be pissed, like, really fucking pissed. Not for nothing, it’s weird his family even wanted to see that. If my brother sent me a video of my SIL giving birth, I’d be like, “what the hell? No.”

  54. NTA. Your vag was on display and he thinks there's nothing wrong with sharing it without consent? AND YOUR MIL AGREES WITH HIM?

  55. NTA. I actually felt violated just reading this. I'm so sorry it happened to you. Your husband is beyond self centered & selfish to even think this was OK but after you saying no this shouldn't even have been a thought in his head. Do not let him manipulate you into thinking you did anything wrong. He's upset you 'embarrassed' him by shouting in front of his family but cant understand why him sharing such an intimate video is upsetting???

  56. NTA. I'm not sure how this "isn't about you" when it's your vagina on display and you are in the midst of giving birth. Sure, it's about the baby, but it's equally about you.

  57. NTA he shared a video of your vagina with his family? That is absolutely sick. I doubt he would love it if you did anything similar to him.

  58. NTA. I literally never say these kind of things in comments to internet strangers but in your place I would seriously be considering divorce from him and the toxic MIL. He does not deserve to be around you.

  59. NTA. Your husband violated your boundaries. When you explicitly told him prior to the birth that it was to be private he had absolutely no right to share the video with anyone. I do hope when you were voted not the asshole you share this post with your husband, so we all can tell him how much of a jerk he is for what he did, tell him to grow up as well and stop acting like a child for the way you reacted in front of his family You had every right to lose it on him.

  60. “How dare you not respect me enough to yell at me in private for not respecting your privacy in the worst way possible???” Is all I heard and I’m disgusted. I’m so sorry he did that to you.

  61. NTA. he literally showed his whole family your snatch without your consent, after also FILMING you without your consent. That's gross and he deserved the scolding.

  62. Nta I would look into local laws surrounding nonconsensual video/picture distribution, especially in cases where there is nudity involved, if I were you. If applicable, I would seriously consider pressing charges, so at least there is a paper trail that you can refer to when he escalates his inappropriate behavior toward you.

  63. NTA. He doesn’t get to claim it’s “not about you” when YOURE the one who was vulnerable and at least half naked on a table pushing out a literal person. It IS about you when now all your in laws have seen you in that position. He could’ve easily taken another video of the baby right after his birth without you in an exposed position. And the fact that he did this without your knowledge after badgering you to let him take a video in the first place means he knew it was wrong

  64. “It’s not about you, that could have been any woman. The woman doesn’t matter…. Only the baby and my family matter… not you.”

  65. INFO: Did the video actually show your son coming out of you? If so, in my mind that is showing your vagina to people without your consent and wouldn’t that be illegal? Isn’t it tantamount to sharing nudes?

  66. Time to send them all a picture of your partners penis because that is where the genetic material came from that caused the baby.

  67. NTA- absolutely a violation of privacy, trust, and fucking morals. Your husband and his mother are TAs. It’s nice his father tried to provide a solution, but fucks sake?? This is two weeks after you gave birth, you legit just shoved a whole human out your cooch, YOUUUUUUUR cooch, just for him to show it around to the gang? Come on. If they aren’t allowed in the delivery room; why tf should they even be allowed to have a video of a clearly private event that you expressed you WANTED as just between you guys. Oh I’m fuming for you

  68. NTA. What your husband did is absolutely revolting and a violation of not just your privacy but also your bodily autonomy.

  69. NTA. He’s treating you like you’re an incubator, not a full person like he and his son are. Even if he “treated you like a queen” during your pregnancy, he could have been doing so just because he wanted the best possible incubator. How has he been since the birth? How much of the workload has he taken on? Is he otherwise treating you as a partner whose opinion matters, or is this part of a (new or old) pattern?

  70. NTA. He coerced you into making the video by lying about his intent. He knew he did not have your consent. He shared the video any way. When confronted, he wasn’t honest. He ran to his mother for support.

  71. NTA, I’m so sorry that happened you. Unfortunately it is out there now. If FIL is offering to delete it make sure you start with MiL phone and cloud services. Then move through the family. You did not consent to this private video being shared what your husband did is horrific and considering you did not consent to it being shared you may have some actions you can take to make sure it is removed from all devices. Best of luck, I’m not sure how you rebuild trust from here though, your husband messed up big time. Do not apologise.

  72. The fact that he thinks the birth of your child "isn't about you" is really scary behaviour. That is a red flag big enough to use as a tent. You spent hours in torturous pain and yet that's not enough for the event to be about you. What else can he tell himself isn't about you?

  73. NTA- this would be a dealbreaker for me. He manipulated you saying the video was for you two after you told him no. Then didn’t tell you it was sent to multiple people and then doubled down on his behavior. Hard pass

  74. NTA. He is gaslighting you and you need to stay mad. He and his family just violated you in every way. He undermined you in every way and sent out an extremely private, sensitive time for YOU. He is just sitting in the wings and has zero right to make this decision. I would 100% NEVER let my partners family see me give birth. There are so many violations of trust, respect, love, and decency in this.

  75. NTA. He has no right to share a private moment and he has a lot of nerve saying this situation ‘isn’t about you’ when you’re literally the one giving birth. Pregnant women are not their husband’s property nor are they public property. No one in your family has any ‘right’ to be involved in your birth in any way. Quite frankly, your mother in law is being selfish and unfair because she wants access to your grandchild. Understandable but unacceptable. Your husband’s response is also incredibly immature. The fact that he’s more concerned about how you made him look ‘small’ is wound up in his own insecurities about his own masculinity. He lied to you and tried to cover up what he did because he knew he was in the wrong.

  76. NTA. Holy mother of god. Why are you here asking if YOU are the A?? Birth is not a spectator sport, you made that clear to your husband. He KNEW you were hesitant to even let him take the video, nevermind sharing it with his whole damn family WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT!

  77. NTA - I could never trust him again. If he can show your most vulnerable moment to his entire family without guilt, then what else does he share?

  78. NTA by any way. Your husband is for not respecting your privacy. The whole operation of giving birth is about the one giving birth and the one being birthed... you are the only person who should be responsible for wanting to share such moment not him. What an asshole.

  79. NTA, "everything is always about the baby--forget the mother who birthed the child". The way people think like this and suddenly forget that women are people!

  80. I'm sorry did the baby come out of a bag and not your vagina??!! HE SENT HIS FAMILY A VIDEO OF YOUR COOCHIE SPLITTING OPEN TO LET OUT A CHILD THAT YOU HAD UP THERE??!! i would sue

  81. If you wanted your mother in law to witness the first moments you would've invited her to the birth. He completely violated your privacy

  82. NTA, you are not overreacting at all!! How can childbirth NOT be about you, you're pushing a baby out of you?? It's an extremely vulnerable position to be put in and I'm sorry this happened. Your husband is an AH.

  83. NTA. Your husband is a HUGE ass; I would be so pissed if my husband did that to me, as it's a huge violation of privacy.

  84. NTA OP this is gross, there is another post on Reddit about a wife who ended up divorcing her husband over something similar that ended up more heinous. Please cover your bases and get a lawyer if you need too. That’s a video of you at your most vulnerable. If he’s shared it with the family there’s no telling who else he’s given it too/who his family has shared it with. Please be safe.

  85. FFS no one is entitled to watch these moments without your direct consent. If you MIL thinks it is, ask her, how she would feel, if it was her on the video.

  86. NTA OP please tell me he didn’t just straight up film your lady bits as a freaking BABY was coming out of it! honestly I know Reddit always jumps to divorce too quickly but as someone who has had 3 vaginal births I would never be able to get over him invading my privacy and then sharing the video with his entire family. I would never forgive any of them (especially MIL) and like WHY did your SIL have the video still? Was she watching it again or did she save it and you happened to see it?

  87. Video his vasectomy cuz I would not have any more kids with this jack-weed or better yet his next colonoscopy with close up of his Anus as the camera enters it. Then send it to everyone he knows including family, friends, and especially his guy friends. See how he enjoys being exposed while vulnerable

  88. NTA. This is divorce worthy in my book. What other boundaries doesn’t he respect? Take a long look at your marriage because I find it hard to believe this is the only red flag.

  89. If his Mom is cool w it, tell her you look forward to the video of her hoo-haw that her husband sends his family without her knowledge.

  90. NTA. The first few moments can be him in your arms. WTF. And the mom sided with him, at least your FIL, was like we can delete it. Keep standing up for yourself.

  91. NTA. OP this is definitely a violation of your privacy. He didn't bother telling you he was going to share the video. The fact your MIL is on his side is quite troubling...no, the fact his entire family has a video like that and not say anything....wow.

  92. NTA and if it were me, this would be the hill to die on. I would take that baby and get out as fast as my still recovering body could manage. I’d also be strongly considering a call to police to have it reported, if for nothing else to maybe push him and his family into deleting it and it have it documented. If you decide to end things, you’re still tied to this jerk for the next 18 years and it’s clear he doesn’t respect you or understand personally boundaries.

  93. That would be the end of our relationship and the start of a criminal investigation. Seriously, god knows what he’ll do next if you let him get away with this.

  94. NTA, but your husband and MIL are. How disrespectful of him sharing that video. You have every right to be upset at him & his family. I would text them all and request that they delete the video. I would also talk to a lawyer and see what my options are.

  95. NTA. That’s really horrible. I’m so sorry you’re going through something so violating. Birth is a really intimate and intense thing, he had no right to share such a thing with others if you weren’t okay with it. I would honestly be considering a divorce. That’s a big violation of trust and then he doesn’t even feel sorry and even goes as far as to say its not about you!?? It’s a video of YOU giving birth…

  96. NTA. I can’t believe I just read this. I can’t believe your husband did something so awful to you, tricking you into letting him film, then betraying your trust, not just showing people but actually sending it so they have their own copies, and THEN having the sheer fucking audacity to say it has nothing to do with you! I would find that nearly impossible to forgive and I don’t know how you move forward from that, because he’s not even willing to acknowledge your feelings or his awful behaviour.

  97. NTA. Giving birth is a super vulnerable moment. You are literally legs wide open, exhausted and pushing an entire human out. They honestly don't need to see that, ESPECIALLY when you already said you didn't want it to be recorded. The first moments of his life could have very well started being recorded (for sharing purposes) once baby was in the warmer. There's really no reason to share the actual birth unless you had been okay with that. Totally not fair to you. Sorry you had to go through that.

  98. NTA and also I feel you have grounds for a lawsuit against all of them. That was a video of your vagina shared without your consent. Pretty sure that's still illegal.

  99. Major NTA - he sent a video of your vagina to your whole family and tries to say this is not about you? What role does he see you having play in the process of birth anyways, the role of a person or a prop or object that brings him his son?

  100. NTA. You had an agreement beforehand that it was not to be shared. I'd remind him how you didn't want him to take the video and how he promised it'd just be for you and him. He broke your trust. That's what this is about

  101. NTA. In fact there’s a woman on Reddit who had her birth video uploaded to porn sites. She also told her husband not to film her birthing and he did it anyway and shared it and then the video ended up on fucked up fetish porn sites. NTA.

  102. NTA Oh jeeze, I would hate to be in your place. This is someone you are meant to trust with it all and he does that. I mean I don't know what was shown in the video but bloody hell I would be livid too.

  103. I’m sorry OP. Definitely NTA. They should delete the video as FIL said. Sounds like MIL is going to be a rough one, because I bet if her MIL had a recording of her giving birth she wouldn’t like it either. Also, it seems you may have a JustNoSO, your husband still wanted to film knowing you were hesitant. In that moment I would’ve told the staff and him if he wanted to film then he can be kicked out of the delivery room. He had full intentions of violating your trust and privacy so his family could share a very private moment.

  104. NTA. Not to stir up any more worries, but I recall reading a similar post where this type of video ended up on the internet "by accident..." and was published in a kink group that gets off to these kinds of videos (turns out the husband also had this kind of kink). I would figure out if there is a way to gain positive control over all copies and ensure they weren't shared anywhere else (don't just take peoples word for it) and absolutely destroyed...

  105. Ask him if you can take a picture of him spread eagle with his genitals out and show it to your family. I’m sure he’d be fine with that because you know it’s not a big deal, half of your baby came from there.

  106. NTA, at all. This is hands down divorce worthy, and depending on where you live, you may have grounds for criminal charges against him too, which, were it me, I would fully explore.

  107. Honestly what he did is considered illegal, (we’re I live at least). Honey this man doesn’t care about his feelings and went back on his word for his family. You need to divorce this man

  108. NTA. You didn’t want them in the room when it happened why would you want is on their phones to replay forever?!

  109. NTA. I’d be putting everyone you know that has the video in a group chat and writing a statement on how that video was meant for select people only, you and your husband. Your trust feels violated and it’s going to take time to get over the fact.

  110. Nta. Huge not the AH. Though if you can take time at your parents siblings or a friend's with your child and let him stew and think about how he fucked up.

  111. NTA. Men like this really exist? You asked him not to film the birth of your son to begin with, but he insisted and then he send it to his entire family? What the fuck? Why would his family even want to see that? (No offense at all to you). I would be reconsidering my husband.

  112. NTA, how would he like it if you shared a video of his pecker will all of your family saying, "Just want to share the journey of making the next grandbaby 🥰"

  113. NTA. Tell him you'll drop it when he takes a picture of his dick and send it to your entire extended family. Not only did he lie and violate your privacy, he then dismissed your feelings. You could ask them to delete it but you'll never know if they actually do. Tell MIL to send a picture of her vagina because you want to see where your husband came from. I'm willing to bet no one else would expose themselves.

  114. NTA. I would never be able to come back from this, OP. I’m sorry. He shared a video of your PRIVATE PARTS to his family after lying to you about his intentions for taking that video.

  115. NTA. Of course it's about you. Your husband's insistence that you don't count as a person during childbirth is disturbing.

  116. NTA. Honestly telling you it’s not about you makes it 1000x worse - explicitly stating you don’t matter, you’re only a vessel for the grandchild. I am so sorry.

  117. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to forgive someone for violating me so badly, knowing I said no and didn’t want that. What a disgusting person you’ve unfortunately married. NTA

  118. It’s like you can’t ever trust him again! He literally showed you in your most vulnerable moments to his family! The audacity of him n his mum to say it’s not about you but the baby! Umm you’re the one pushing the baby out like what? I would seriously not speak to this man for a very long time, as well as his mum! Oh n definitely NTA

  119. NTA you did talk to him about it privately, remind him of that. He made it public and he knew what he was doing. I would be clear it was your private medical procedure and you in a very vulnerable position you told him you didn’t want shared, even to be recorded, but you did that for HIM. Then I would be clear he made you look and feel small by disrespecting your feelings and sharing you like that with others. And ask him how to trust him.

  120. NTA I’d be devastated. I truly can’t imagine why he would think breaking such a common boundary and incredibly personal one would be ok. What an ass of a husband.

  121. Does he want to take a video of the conception and send that to them too? NTA. That is unforgivable.

  122. NTA. Yeah, this is a common tactic abusive husbands pull. They get off on the power of having in their possession a video that shows their wife in a most vulnerable and exposed state. And they always use it against their wife. Whether it be by publishing it on the internet on porn platforms or showing it to everyone against their wife's consent.

  123. Maybe you should send footage of his next prostate exam or colonoscopy around seen as he is so keen on sharing intimate medical procedures with the world

  124. Maybe it’s because I’m a little high, but I’d demand that everyone pull their pants down and show me their genitals, to show how much of a violation that was. Oh you don’t want to show me your genitals? I didn’t either!!

  125. Your husband can share these kinds of videos with his family as soon as he pushes out a football sized human being out of his vagina. Up until then what he did was a violation of your privacy, boundaries and trust in him. You're NTA of course.

  126. NTA. Not even a little bit. Your body, your experience and his child. He was allowed to share in the experience for the 3rd priority on that list.

  127. NTA!!! I’m really sick of this idea that anyone other than the parents and child have any right or entitlement to be included in every aspect of the baby’s birth. But especially the birthing parent! You are the only one who can consent to anything being shared that involves you, whether nudity is involved or not. I feel so much rage on your behalf… as a heavily pregnant woman at the moment, I’m having lots of feelings but bottom line you are soooo not the asshole. I’d be hulk smashing all their damn phones over husband’s head.

  128. NTA If my husband had done this I would have divorced him. I don’t even know how your relationship comes back from that.

  129. So NTA! He was first playing dumb when you found out and confronted him? So he knew exactly that it was wrong and still decided to share the video. Massive breach of trust and a huge red flag 🚩

  130. NTA. I personally would be done with this marriage, but that is hard to do with a newborn. I’d let him read this post and these responses. He betrayed your trust and is gaslighting you into feeling like your reaction was wrong.

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