AITA for getting pregnant before my sister's wedding?

  1. NTA. So your family wants you to have an abortion to keep your sister happy? These are people who will have zero access to your child once it’s born, right?

  2. She confirms it in the comments. Honestly this is so extreme that I began to think it's just a writing exercise. Otherwise how could she think she's an AH for not wanting to get rid of her baby which what her sister and family want over a wedding?

  3. This is the golden child / black sheep dynamic on steroids. It’s pretty clear OP is the black sheep. She’s probably better off going LC/NC as I wouldn’t be surprised if her family also treated her kid terribly.

  4. So the happily married and financially and apparently emotionally stable daughter who is also clearly the older and more mature one - should abort her baby because the one who got knocked up before marriage can be checks notes happy about the shoes a guest is wearing to the wedding. I think the conversation about not being ready for children is being had with the wrong child.

  5. I would legit call my mom and say "your right, I should do this for my sister" then ask my mom to schedule the abortion for you and ask her to come that day. Just to see what she says

  6. What the hell is going on? Are they suggesting that you get an abortion? They are a bunch of selfish assholes! Sorry for the direct nature of my comment. But the whole story is offensive and calls into question the morality of the entire family. Maybe you should consider not attending the wedding. And maybe you should consider that you and yours don't need to be around such selfish and hateful people.

  7. NTA and WTF. I'd go no contact with your parents and sister over this. There must be more, the idea you should what, abort your pregnancy because of her wedding? It's just too shocking to comprehend, I can't believe the words left your parents lips. They want you to abort their grandkid?

  8. Well at least my mil and fil are happy about the pregnancy. My husband is their only child so this will be their first grand baby. My husband's family have been super supportive which just makes me sad that my family didn't react the same way.

  9. I'm literally in shock at the whole post because OPs parents are definitely egging on an abortion from one kid just to make the other fucking one happy I just cannot believe it.

  10. I would straight to their faces say ‘so you want me to abort your grandchild/niece/nephew?!’ Wait for their response, has to be a yes or no, no hedging. Make it very clear that that is what they are asking you to do right now. Then whenever they want access to your child just quote the fact that they suggested an abortion to please your sister as the reason why not! ETA - NTA, but I feel like you already know that!

  11. Yes! Seriously, after someone said to me, "It's not the right time for you to have a baby," My knee-jerk reaction would be to say, "But... I already am pregnant. Are you asking me to abort my baby?.. for a wedding?"

  12. So much this!!! What are those “is this the best time?” comments?? The bun is already in the oven. Sister is incredibly entitled and it shows that the parents have been her enablers her whole life. I’m sad for OP for the lack of support from her family. NTA.

  13. Let me get this right. A 29 year old well adjusted woman with a 4 bed house and a husband of 2 years shouldn’t be having a planned baby because she should be ready, but it’s ok for a 26 year old unmarried woman to be accidentally pregnant according to them? What’s this flagrant hypocrisy.

  14. So let me get this straight… your unmarried sister is pregnant- your family are made that you - married with a home, is pregnant, because your sister is now getting married? This makes no sense! NTA! And I’d consider not going to the wedding and just taking a break from your family!!

  15. Kristal's pregnancy was accidental but her and her fiancé decided to keep the baby and get married as his family is very religious and believes in "doing the right thing". I don't know much about their finances, just that my parents are paying for the wedding and that Kristal and fiancé are moving into his parents house.

  16. "Mom, Dad, Kristen - I'm sorry, but I'm not putting my life on hold or getting an abortion because you're all concerned about how it'll impact the golden child. I am, however, cutting your all from my life. Sorry you'll have no access to your francois and your child will not see their cousin but your behavior is unacceptable. It's clear you have a favorite and I will not subject my family to your favoritism. I wish you well. " Then go no contact - absolutely NTA

  17. Well since I can remember really. And then after our dad had an affair which resulted in Brittney being born, our mom seemed to dote on Kristal even more. I planned to go to the wedding because I figured we could have an adult relationship now that we are both in our late twenties.

  18. I’d go to the wedding, during the first dance scream that your water broke and then walk out. If they r going to be pissed for something so stupid you might as well give them a good one. NTA obviously. Your family is ridiculous

  19. Oh yeah and bonus points if OP can strap some kind of water bag to her leg and open it at the right time, leaving a gush of water on the floor! That would be magnificent.

  20. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  21. NTA. Dropping you as a bridesmaid was arguably justifiable, because dress fittings would be more of a pain, and it would be harder for you to stand throughout the ceremony. Asking you to wear heels was silly, but wouldn't have been an issue if she had accepted the "no."

  22. NTA you’re already pregnant, they should shut up! Your family better get with the program because your sisters wedding is ONE day but this child has a whole life a head of it that they’ll miss out on if they keep treating you, your husband and your unborn child in this manner.

  23. Mom, Dad, you need to think very hard about what you are saying to me. If you believe I should end this pregnancy so that my sister can get married without me being pregnant, then I need to reevaluate whether or not you will have a place in my child’s life whatsoever. Her getting married does not set restrictions and boundaries on anyone else around her. Least of all your unborn child.

  24. Ultimate Bridezilla request: abort your baby so you don’t steal the spotlight. Honestly, I wouldn’t even go to the wedding. Screw these people. NTA

  25. NTA. Your life. But also what is the point of telling you it’s not the time to get pregnant? You already are! What are they expecting? I’m sorry your whole family I TA. GOOS LUCK.

  26. OMFG your own father told you to get an abortion?! Omg, I’m so sorry. Your family are completely fucked up. If they were my family, I’d never, ever, ever see or speak to them again. Your pregnancy is just as important as your sister’s pregnancy and wedding. But your family seem to think your sister has to come first at all costs. Let her. Block them all.

  27. HUGE NTA. Your parents and sister are disgusting to you, I'm so sorry. They are talking like they are expecting you to have an abortion just because of your precious sister I'm actually mind blown at how revolting this is. Congratulations on your pregnancy, this is YOUR moment and may your little one never have to deal with the insane behaviour of their grandparents or aunt.

  28. NTA If my family tried to bully me into aborting for the sake of one day, I'd go no contact. They wouldn't get to meet the baby either. They wanted it aborted anyway so it shouldn't be a big deal if they don't get to meet it. It's basy what they wanted. I'm sorry you're dealing with this and congratulations on the pregnancy

  29. You are older than Kristal. Why didn't your parents tell her about what a huge responsibility it is to have a child and get married at 26? I hope you cut these ahs out of your life. NTA

  30. Also, she’s already pregnant. So either they want her to go back in time, or they are trying to convince her to get an abortion which is messed up since she clearly wants the baby. What a terrible family. NTA.

  31. NTA and be prepared for your parents to expect you to forget that any of this happened once the baby is born and have them around like they haven’t been suggesting you get an abortion for months

  32. NTA, but it’s blindingly obvious who is the ‘Golden child’ in your family!. And just what is your mother suggesting with ‘if it really was the best time for you to start having a family?’. Is she suggesting you get an abortion?, to ‘keep the peace’ for your sister’s WEDDING??!!.

  33. I am so confused but please tell me if I’m wrong but is her family suggesting she terminate her pregnancy for a wedding… that isn’t even hers?!? Like are they all insane? She may want to get them all tested because this might just be the most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard of.. OP is obviously NTA and these people just seem insane. Too much internet for today.

  34. NTA, and honestly WTF at your parents. You’re at least 4 months pregnant! While “please wait until after your sister’s wedding to be pregnant” is an AH request anyway, it’s completely wrong to push that when your pregnancy, of a child you and your husband very much want, is already happening and is well advanced.

  35. NTA. God and all his omnipotence couldn’t make me go to the wedding after all this. You’re 29, you’re married, you’re a homeowner, you’re in a perfect spot to have a baby and your family constantly asking you if it’s the right time since your sister needs the spotlight is ridiculous. What are you supposed to do? Babies don’t come with a return slip. It’s happening. Operation pregnancy is a go. Your family needs to get on board fast and keep their opinions to themselves.

  36. I'd cut them off but not before telling everyone you know that they want you to terminate your planned for, loved and wanted child to accommodate your obviously mentally ill sister. This kinda of thing damages reputations and boy do they deserve it.

  37. Sorry, you want us to believe that your parents and sister want you to terminate your 12 week pregnancy because of some wedding pictures?

  38. What in the... no, NTA, you're 100% right. Nobody stops their plans for a few months just because someone else - even if family member - is having a wedding. Kristal and everyone else need to suck it up, and myself, i'd reconsider going (i'm not sure if you're still invited or not, tbh, cause i was focusing on being annoyed on your behalf), because this is not worth the time you could spend on cheering on your baby. That's just me, though.

  39. I’m mostly confused what they want. By my math, she’s might be too pregnant for one. Unless, they mean adoption. Either way, she and her husband shouldn‘t be pressured into not having their baby because the sister is selfish.

  40. NTA. Everyone’s talking as if you’ve not already got a growing foetus inside you?! It’s a bit late to back out now… You’ll also still be pregnant, not waving an adorable newborn around, so I also don’t see how you being pregnant takes away from Kristal’s day at all. Enjoy your pregnancy, throw away the family

  41. NTA lol, I really don't understand why they have a problem with you being pregnant during your sister's wedding? It's your body and you can do whatever you want with it, besides It's nothing you can do about it now, you're already pregnant. And yeah you should definitely be able to continue living your life even though your sister is getting married.

  42. NTA. I cannot understand how anyone else can think its their business about YOUR family or lack there of if thats what you decide. I wouldn’t go to the wedding and i would block everyone. When flying monkeys come trying to guilt you, just let them know that your baby and family is something they wished didn’t exist and therefore doesn’t exist to them now.

  43. NTA. You need to seriously sit down with your parents (with your husband for support) and tell them, if they don’t back the fuck off, you are never speaking to them again. And I would NEVER I MEAN NEVER speak to my “sister” again if she was pulling half the shit your sister is.

  44. Your family sounds insane. I’d skip the wedding altogether, and do something nice for myself, and none of them would be meeting my baby when the time comes. NTA.

  45. That's just what I was going to ask. They seem to be suggesting she terminate her pregnancy without actually saying it.

  46. Are they suggesting you abort your baby to placate your deranged sister??? Obviously, NTA. I’d put some major distance between myself and all of them.

  47. NTA I’d be overjoyed if my sister and I were so close in due dates. Our kids would grow up together. Also- since when did being pregnant automatically mean that you take the spotlight from the newlyweds at their wedding? Everyone is quite literally there to celebrate two very specific people. Everything is about them that day.

  48. Nta are your own parents seriously suggesting an abortion? Absolutely insane. Remind them of what they said after baby is born. Good luck with the pregnancy and delivery.

  49. NTA , have your baby and every time your family wants to see your child remember what they ask you to do your child.

  50. My sister constantly has “don’t steal my moment” family drama with her SIL. And I’ll tell you the same thing I say to her: why can’t your family be thrilled about your pregnancy AND your sister’s wedding at the same time? How does one diminish the other? It baffles me…

  51. NTA, cut them out completely, they aren't family, the insinuated and then eventually out right asked you to abort your baby for a WEDDING! No one that says something like that deserves to be in yours or your babies life

  52. So they really suggesting that you abort your baby over a wedding? I'm sorry op congratulations on your pregnancy and you will be probably better off never speaking to these ppl again

  53. NTA what do they want you to do??? Not be pregnant??? You clearly want a baby and have the means to support. Your family sucks. I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy and birth

  54. NTA. My sister was pregnant at my wedding and it was such a joy! We love telling my little nibbling he was at our wedding, it makes him so happy to feel included. Babies are a joy. I have never heard of family trying to convince someone to get an abortion just to not be pregnant at a family event and turn around a get pregnant again. That could be very traumatizing for your body and it is a horrible request. You are questioning the right things! If they are willing to casually suggest a termination they probably shouldn’t have a role in this child’s life. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!

  55. NTA, There is something weird here. It sounds like Kristal is having issues with the fact that she got pregnant before her wedding while you got pregnant after you're married and thinks that you being pregnant will highlight that fact to her guests. I don't think it matters one way or another, but some people really care about those types of things and I think she's taking her fears of being judged out on you.

  56. So.. what exactly is your family suggesting? That you do … WHAT exactly with your current situation? Cuz if they’re suggesting what I think they are, that’s the most hateful response to someone’s wanted pregnancy I can imagine. NTA. But you need to reevaluate your relationship with your family. What are you going to tell your child when they grow up? “Oh gramma and grampa were so excited when I got pregnant with you. But it was about aunt Kristal’s wedding they wanted me to get rid of you”??

  57. NTA. Your sister is being the worst kind of bridezilla in acting like your pregnancy is an affront to her wedding, especially seeing as how she is pregnant herself. Your parents are not only enabling her but suggesting you terminate a wanted pregnancy for a wedding. Please go non-contact with these awful people. I’m afraid that they wouldn’t treat your kid well over this.

  58. NTA for all the reasons other people have mentioned… especially the implication you should abort a baby that is healthy and wanted.

  59. NTA What exactly does your mom want you to do if she thinks 'if it was really the best time for me to be starting a family'? Because as other commenters have said, it sounds like she's implying you should terminate your pregnancy just to appease your sister.

  60. NTA but wait, she is 5 months pregnant and about to get married but you have been married 2 years and they are lecturing you on appropriate times to have a baby? WTAF?

  61. Wow, so your parents and sister are expecting you to terminate a pregnancy so you don't "steal the spotlight"? Like you should plan your life and family around their milestones?

  62. NTA. I didn’t realise how many people were crazy around their weddings until I started reading AITA. Are they seriously suggesting you abort? That is crazy

  63. NTA! I'm not sorry to say this but your family are all loonies like holy shit they're crazy, are they insinuating that you should have an abortion? all because your sister is a psycho bridezilla level 9000. You're in no way an asshole, you're just trying to start a family for goodness sake.

  64. So, are they implying you should abort?? It's, you know, a little late for that isn't it? Your family is reductions and I would've laughed in their faces. NTA, skip the wedding and do something calming and fun that day, because sis is gonna be STRESSED, hunny.

  65. They are asking you to abort your baby for your sisters wedding? Cut them out of your life. They shouldn't meet the baby since they want it dead.

  66. NTA. They’re basically telling you to get an abortion so you won’t overshadow your sister. That’s repulsive.

  67. NTA. It is hugely inappropriate that your parents are essentially telling you to abandon a wanted pregnancy at 3 months.

  68. I’m so confused…. What are you supposed to do at this point? Is your family implying you should get an abortion of a very much wanted baby to facilitate your sister’s wedding?? You can’t just magically unimpregnate yourself… your family sounds nuts and your sister is a bridezilla who would have probably made you miserable as MOH anyway, so bullet dodged!!

  69. WTF your family is acting ludicrously. I cannot fathom why your sister or parents would have a problem. They should be excited about you starting your family! Weddings celebrate family, it's totally appropriate to be pregnant at one and who knows how easy it could be for you in the future if you don't go for it now, you're not especially young (no offence).

  70. NTA. I would reconsider your relationship with them, if they don’t want your child now how will they treat them when they’re born?

  71. I feel like something is missing from this story. When was your sister’s wedding announced? How was your relationship before this? Not that the timing matters, I’m just trying to understand how the two even related in the first place.

  72. My sister announced she was planning a wedding and engaged about a month after she found our she was pregnant. Her fiancé's family are very religious and believe in marriage before having kids. Before this my relationship with her has always been strained, she was always spoiled by our mom.

  73. NTA but I sure as hell wouldn’t let them come in contact with my kid that they heavily insinuated should be aborted. They obviously don’t give a damn about their soon to be grandchild from you and your husband.

  74. NTA. And I wouldn't go to the wedding. If anyone asks I would say "there was so much concern about me being pregnant and stealing the spotlight that I decided it would be better if I weren't there. Oh yeah, and they tried to convince me to abort rather than be pregnant at the wedding. We are not on speaking terms."

  75. NTA are they suggesting termination to appease your sister WHO IS ALSO PREGNANT so that you don’t have the perception of stealing the spotlight for ONE DAY???? We all know who the favorite is OP. Spoiler alert it’s not you. So sorry your family is so toxic.

  76. NTA. Is your family actually trying to convince you to terminate your pregnancy to please your sister!?! This isn’t normal behavior from your family. This isn’t healthy at all. You really need to distance yourself from these people and avoid their social media and block them from yours. You shouldn’t be tolerating this from anyone at all let alone your own family. I think there might be a lot more going on here and you should consider counseling. Congratulations to you and your husband on your baby!

  77. NTA for you! YTA for the sister, her friends and your parents. So your sister is almost having a baby out of a wedlock and she is being celebrated and her every tantrum is being treated with kids gloves. Cut all of them out of your lives, you would be at peace.

  78. NTA. I would not be attending that wedding if I were you. Your sister is guaranteed the spotlight if you’re not even there to steal it. Then again, there could be a waitress with an inappropriate outfit and makeup who needs to be fired… 🤔

  79. NTA, tell your mom, that the only way to stop this is an abortion of her grand daughter. Then ask her if that sounds like a good idea. Be interesting to see the response. They need to grow up and understand that your life's timeline is not there concern

  80. NTA, kind of laughing at all the lectures and just noise you’re receiving about “is this the best time to start a family?” That horse has left the barn. Just wondering- ask your parents if they are having the same conversations with Kristal. I mean you’re older and married, she’s younger, pregnant and not married.

  81. So - are you supposed to convince a doctor to perform an abortion now? Put it up for adoption? Why is Kristal, unwed and younger, in a better place to have a baby?!?!?!?!?! (Not saying she’s in a bad place, but they opened this can of worms.)

  82. NTA and also wtf? You and your husband, both adults, are expecting a baby (congratulations!) and your family are recommending an abortion? Perhaps on the day of the wedding you could go out together, have a really delicious treat lunch then buy some bits and pieces for your baby? I honestly wouldn't go to that shitshow, given how petty your sister is being, no-one will be allowed to talk to you and your table will be most of the way into the gents, so have a lovely day with yourhusband instead.

  83. NTA. OP your family is beyond hope. I would be very careful being around them before the wedding and DO NOT eat any food prepared by them.

  84. Is your family seriously suggesting that you should have an abortion because your sister is getting married (while pregnant herself, btw)? NTA. I'd probably cut contact with them, tbh. Holy hell.

  85. She didn't get to have the same exact hair extensions as me at my wedding. She still turned up in white though, despite me telling my mother that I didn't want her to.

  86. Why are you even talking to your family after what your mother said. If someone told my wife she should have an abortion for a baby that we have been wanting for sometime then that will be the last time I talk to them. I would go NC or LC with them.

  87. You’re married, stable, and ready for a child. No one’s life plans should dictate how you run yours. Your sister already kicked you out of the wedding party while she herself is pregnant. Is everyone berating her? I am sorry no one is feeling your joy and that your parents are playing such obvious favorites. Boy is it going to suck when you decide you don’t want or need their negativity in your life and THEY miss out. NTA - not at all.

  88. NTA- this is a time where you have got to go no contact. They just suggested you abort a planned pregnancy so that your sister can have more attention.

  89. YOU’RE ALREADY PREGNANT! Are they telling you to get an abortion? Are they doing the same to your sister? What the fuck is wrong with these people? NTA

  90. Personally I’d have to say what they’re implying that you do for your little sister make them say it out loud to hear how crazy they sound. Who asks someone to terminate their pregnancy for the sake of wedding photos?? Mom, dad, sister, and sisters friends are all a few fries short of a happy meal if they don’t see the problem with what they’re asking.

  91. I was at a wedding where one of the bridesmaids was in the “let’s wait and see if I go into labour today stage” and everyone was chill because it’s ridiculous to expect someone to avoid pregnancy for a wedding.

  92. Kristal was spoiled as a kid. Our mother would dote on her. She would throw temper tantrums if our mom forgot to cut the crusts off her pb&j sandwiches. Kristal would get annoyed when our dad would have visitation with Brittney. She convinced our parents to buy her a more expensive homecoming dress for senior year ect ect.

  93. Girl I would go NC stat. Wouldn't bat an eye. They've obviously turned crazy- NTA and for the sake of baby's health don't deal with them if they're gonna be like this. You can't reason with that level of stupid.

  94. Your parents and sister want you to get an abortion you don’t want, to end a pregnancy you planned for and a child you already love, because your sister is getting married?

  95. So in 3 months time there will be a wedding. Kristal will be 8 months pregnant and the bride. But she is worried that you, being 6 months pregnant by then, will steal the spotlight from her? And that you would look fat and frumpy without heels?

  96. NTA. This must be so hard for you and I’m so sorry you’re being treated like this by family. Unfortunately, blood relation does not guarantee a loving, supportive relationship. The family you were born into is completely incapable of granting you equal consideration as a whole human being with an existence independent of your younger sister. As hard as it may seem, it’s time to withdraw from these people and focus on building your life with your husband and future child without their negativity looming over your lives.

  97. Hell no, NTA. Have you and your sister conflicted in the past? Sounds like a hefty dose of jealousy to me. I'm hating how none of your family, including your mother, are worrying about what effect all this bullying could potentially have on your wellbeing.

  98. NTA. This is ridiculous - she doesn't get to dictate you being in suspended animation until her wedding. I was 28 weeks pregnant at my brother's wedding and he picked us up at the airport - no one complained that my pregnancy was putting me in the spotlight.

  99. So your sister who is having an out of wedlock baby is mad you’re going to be pregnant (while already married) at her wedding because she wanted to be the only clearly huge Prego lady in attendance? I’m so confused. I don’t care if people are married when they have kids or not because it’s none of my business I am just trying to understand the audacity of the entitlement of your sister and your entire family. You are NTA at all. Do not go to that wedding. Prop up your feet and celebrate that sweet baby. Congratulations!

  100. NTA. Is your mother seriously suggesting you get an abortion? To appease your younger sister? Does your sister understand that the world doesn’t revolve around her and that she is not the only pregnant woman in the world?

  101. NTA. They want you to abort your child so that your sister can be the center of attention?! Please please blast her on SM. I’m almost positive that outside of your immediate family and her friends she is spinning a tall tale of which you are the villain. But if you do not do that at the very least cut contact with these people. Do you really want your child around people this narcissistic and negative? If they treat you so poorly, how are they going to treat your child?

  102. Her fiancé's family are very religious and believe in marriage before children. They got engaged around a month after Kristal found out she was pregnant.

  103. What do your parents expect you to do? Wave a wand and suddenly be unpregnant again? What they’re suggesting is literally impossible

  104. NTA. Your sister needs to grow up. I would not blame you for avoiding the wedding. In fact I'd not blame you for cutting off these people from your life if they keep treating you like this

  105. NTA!! I'm pregnant with my first and he's due 10 days after my sisters wedding! She finds it hilarious that my waters could go during the celebration and not once has she thought I'm stealing spot light or anything from her!

  106. NTA this makes my stomach turn so hard. OP please do not let your family near your child!!! They do not get to share in the joy of your baby if they’re actively asking you to terminate! DO NOT LET YOUR PARENTS OR CRAZY ASS SISTER NEAR YOUR BABY.

  107. What the heck is going on with people losing their mind over weddings these days?! Your family should be thrilled with your good news and celebrating with you and also with your sister! Weddings are only one day of your life and this level of drama and manipulation towards you is insane! Nta and stay away from them.

  108. NTA… but wow your family is especially your bratty sister. You are already 3 months pregnant and they’re insinuating you to do? Get an abortion? If I were you I would not attend the wedding and go NC. Obviously they’re prioritizing a wedding over your child. Your mom should know better, isn’t this her 2nd wedding??…

  109. NTA. Burn the bridge and toast marshmallows on the flames. Not just for you. You family will be taking this out on an innocent child for the rest of her life.

  110. NTA Tell me who the golden child is without telling me who the golden child is. Forget about your selfish sister and enjoy being pregnant. Congrats on your baby OP.

  111. What on earth is wrong with those people? NTA big time. They have no say in whether or not you should have children, but especially to say these things when you are already carrying a child is appalling. Be very clear that any further opinion on this matter is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

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