AITA for telling my girlfriend her blankets are pretty useless and impractical?

  1. YTA for sure. I'm a crocheter and I know what you mean about the holes, but you should actually try a blanket out, they are very warm. You don't know what you're talking about. Your gf sounds awesome, she should find someone else.

  2. He didn’t even try to use one of those blankets in her apartments but still judge her work. And don't you also have a blanket tight and close to your body? I don't understand him? I wonder if more is behind it like "why do you spend xxx hundreds hours to crochet for homeless people, buying the stuff is the same and you can spend the xxx hourse with me"

  3. Uh oh, OP messed up, he’s insulted a crocheter. He’s done for now, from what I hear they’re a pretty tight-knit group.

  4. Serious YTA. There's literally a story in BORU sub about a girl who was abused and ran to a DV shelter. Getting one of those blankets is one of her most precious items and probably saved her life.

  5. It may be more of a knitting thing, but this post screams “tell me your relationship wouldn’t survive the boyfriend sweater curse without telling me your relationship wouldn’t survive the sweater curse.”

  6. I made myself a C2C with double strand latte cakes last year. That thing is so stupid warm that I can only use it during the coldest nights (live in the desert).

  7. Crocheter as well. They’re some of the warmest blankets I own! I have one my grandmother made when I was little and I still use it in the winter. OP really thought he’d get support because of “holes” but didn’t actually try a blanket first. 😂 what a clown.

  8. Even it the blankets weren't warm enough to his (apparently) very high standards, why the need to put down the girlfriend. Let her have her goddam hobby in peace. What a huge AH!

  9. Amen! Not to mention the TIME it takes to make them. I’ve been on a hiatus but my sons Dbl Crochet blanket has been taking waaaaay too long (going on four years on and off for a king size bed). OP YTA the time it takes just alone shows you don’t care. Besides they’re the warmest thing ever. Hookers unite!!

  10. Yeah he’s absolutely wrong. I don’t know how it works but my crocheted blankets are actually amazing at insulating heat somehow. Even the ones with gaps in them.

  11. Not to mention that some could count as “weighted blankets” because they’re heavy. My sister and I crochet, and have made baby blankets, and they were (uh) warmly received.

  12. I thought the same thing about an afghan that my mom knit. Had all sorts of gaps, and I didn't think it'd be very warm. Turns out, just because a blanket isn't solid fabric/knit/crochet does NOT mean it's not warm. I had to stick my toes out through the holes when I started overheating. Just cause it's pretty, doesn't mean it's not also functional. YTA, OP.

  13. That are soooo warm! My sister crotchets and she made me a blanket and the pattern has many holes.. but it’s the warmest, softest blanket 😍

  14. Clearly he knows nothing about how crochet blankets are SUPPOSED to be used! You put a sheet on TOP of the blanket. The blanket acts as insulation.

  15. I cracked up that he was “blown away” that she went through $500 of yarn, some of which she didn’t have to pay for this year so far. As a quilter I’ve gone through 4 times that in fabric this year.

  16. Exactly. The warmest blanket we have is one I crocheted. And you don't "stretch them out", you just lay them on people. Some blanket styles aren't as warm as others but that's dictated by the yarn and the stitch used. Dudes a meathead and gf needs someone better.

  17. I crochet loads of blankets, and I can't sleep with them on because I get way too hot. Especially with the right yarn/wool, damn. They're toasty.

  18. Totally agree, I crochet too and I'll bet he's talking about Granny Blankets, which are so warm and toasty, even with the 'gaps'.

  19. I know right, I'm working on a large crochet blanket and when I have it on my lap while I'm working I'm sweating like a motherf*cker! 😂.

  20. lol, I agree with YTA. OP used a lot of words to say "I hate that my girlfriend's passion, money, and hobby benefits other people, but not me."

  21. Has OP never worn a wool sweater, with a loose weave? It’s the same dame thing and incredibly warm. Wool is perfect for this too because even when damp, it holds in heat. YTA

  22. Granny made me a blanket where it was made of smaller squares out of the leftover yarn stitched together. It had several "holes and gaps" but you can bet it was the warmest blanket I have ever had. Sadly it's no longer useable but still cherish the memory of it.

  23. I was just gonna say op must have never used a crocheted blanket before cause I be sWEATING when I use mine. YTA. Don’t speak on things you don’t know about.

  24. Agreed. It’s 12 degrees Celsius where I am right now and I’m lying under one of my mums crocheted blankets. I am very warm and toasty.

  25. "I don't know anything about crochet, but I sure do have a lot of opinions on this thing that makes my girlfriend happy and fulfilled."

  26. Same, I've been crocheting for over 15 years now and my kids still use blankets in the middle of winter that I've made them. If she's been crocheting for many years, she definitely knows what years are the warmest to use during the winter. Also people become very sentimental over handmade blankets, especially if they are well made they can last upwards of 30+ years.

  27. YTA one Christmas my ex boyfriend asked me "isn't your family sick of getting knitted gifts every year?" I know they aren't, but I think of this every year. OPs girlfriend is obviously passionate about this and she is not going to forget this.

  28. I couldn’t agree with this more. My grandmother’s crochet blankets are my favorite! They are warm and so comfy. Plus the fact that she took the time and put in effort makes it that much for amazing. OP YTA massively. I hope the gf wises up and leaves. You sound exhausting

  29. Afghan blankets are SUPER warm. My mom made me one when I was young and I still use it today. Despite the holes, it traps heat and warms the yarn which makes them super cozy.

  30. I wish I could upvote you more than once. I have had this same argument with my son. I was going to crochet him a blanket, but he told me not to because it couldn't be warm withhold in it. I told him they are warm. The holes are deceiving.

  31. If I remember correctly, the holes in knitted things traps the air, which is what helps to keep your heat in, by essentially creating a heated bubble of air around you. That’s what my grandmother told me when I was very young so I could be wrong. Lol

  32. He doesn't understand. It's like how our body raises our hair to stay warm it creates pockets that hold body warmth. I've used handmade crochet blankets my whole life made by my great aunt. They are warm and they actually last forever. I have a couple I've had my whole life and my mom had them before I was born. So at least 40-45 year old blankets.

  33. 100% agree. I’ve been crocheting for a while and I’ve made blankets and baby outfits that were extremely warm and loved. GF is a rockstar to take her time and care to make these blankets. It’s not about the money (which he has absolutely nothing to do with) going to something he thinks is ‘better’. The only thing completely useless here is OP.

  34. can confirm that crocheted blankets are very warm. we had a blanket made by my great gransmother that we brought out every winter and it was the blanket everyone in the house wanted on cold nights because it was warm and the perfect texture to burrito yourself

  35. As a crocheter, I would just like to point out that the 'holes' in the blankets actually serve a purpose. They trap air when layered with a sheet or other blanket, thus insulating even better then a simple design without holes. Crochet blankets are intended as layers.

  36. This comment is going to get lost since I'm late to this post, but not only am I crocheter, I've been homeless a few times. I used to sit in the shelter lounge and make hats and mittens for the other shelter residents with donated yarn. I had a waiting list. Do you know how long it had been since done of them had had something made especially for them? It's more than a physical warmth.

  37. Jumping on here to say I’m a crocheter and a lecturer in heat transfer! Air is a great insulator string vests? The holes in the blanket trap air that provides insulation. Try the blanket out before knocking her work. Also, how lovely that your girlfriend takes the time to make a handmade gift, with love in every stitch, for people who are marginalised by the wider society. If you only understood the work that actually goes into making the blankets, the science of insulation and heat transfer, and consider the feeling that someone actually cares enough to make a handmade blanket when you’re shunned by society, maybe you wouldn’t be such an YTA

  38. Okay. I know exactly what kind of blankets you're talking about. Because when I was homeless, I owned three blankets, one of which was a large crocheted one. They have lots of loops and gaps and look kinda webby. That blanket was the second warmest one I owned. And on top of that it was pretty.

  39. This! I totally agree his spurious claims about lack of warmth are ridiculous, but I haven't seen enough comments addressing that a personalised blanket - something beautiful, that makes you happy, and treats you like a human being, is a huge deal for people who have nothing.

  40. This is exactly the kind of comment I came here to post. It's not just a blanket she's gifting - it's an item made specifically for people in need, who may not have much to their names. It's a comfort in more ways than just warmth.

  41. These blankets are made with the granny stitch and are classic crochet blankets. Looks are very deceiving and they are very warm. They do work best as a layering blanket over other blankets.

  42. Thank you for sharing this, I know I will be crocheting some blankets to donate after reading it and I hope other crocheters/knitters on here will too ❤️

  43. Question, what kind of blankets is he talking about because I wanted to get back into crochet or knitting, but I would like it to go somewhere.

  44. I've been lucky enough to have never been homeless; but after I came out as nonbinary my grandmother crocheted me a pride flag blanket. Maybe it's not my go-to when it's cold, but it will always be special to me because a loved one spent hours of her time making it for me to show her love and support. Crocheted things are so special, and so damn cool

  45. They can be stupid warm! My Nana had quilted and crocheted lap blankets as long as I can remember. We only used the crocheted ones in the winter because they were so warm!

  46. My wife is currently working on a baby blanket out of that floral print yarn stuff. I cannot stop playing with it. It's like the coolest thing ever; it did this sort of floral print in the self striping thing. I am dropping hints I want a throw out of the one with the blues, lol!

  47. So true! But also, even if she was knitting just the WORST blankets, and using her own money to do it, but for some reason the regulars liked it, then OP would still be an AH. Knitting something for someone is one of the biggest signs of love and affection.

  48. Also, he probably has 20 blankets, so he can’t see reaching for that one. Where the people who are donated the blankets -it’s probably their only one and are so grateful for it

  49. My husband knows better than to knock my hobbies. He once described my reading as a waste of time, but he's never, ever, knocked the knitting. I think for him it's a productivity thing. If I'm knitting, there will someday be a product. Reading for pleasure, though, that's wastedul if you could be reading something work-related.

  50. I'd be PISSED if my boyfriend said something like this to me. Like, unbelievably mad. Even if I was only making "pretty" things that had no "real" function, saying that it's a waste of time/money is insulting.

  51. I inherited two granny square blankets after my granny passed away. One is wayyy too fragile to use, even after I repaired it, and the other one is absolutely hideous and made with terrible 80's acrylic... They're still one of the things I'd save in a fire. It's the fact that she made them, they smell like her, they bring back memories of watching her making things, they're comfortable... All of that is still way more important and valuable than anything I could make myself or buy in a shop. I wrap myself up in the ugly one whenever I need to feel comforted, and it's proudly displayed in my home, even though it doesn't match with anything else! It's the connection between you and the person who cared enough about you that matters, not the monetary value. Blankets take ages, so that's dozens of hours of someone's love and empathy in material form. To be given that is so special, especially if you're going through a difficult time or have nothing else. I make toys for kids in refugee camps, and while they're definitely not "functional" or keep them warm, they matter so damn much to those kids.

  52. My grandma is working her way through making one for every extended family member. My sister and I are her only granddaughters so we also get the cast-off ones she decides she doesn't like. I now have three and they are among my most prized possessions. She has terrible arthritis but it feels so important to her to finish before her time is over. I have "afghan washing day" when I hang them all over the house to dry.

  53. How about he go back and actually, you know, try one of the blankets before declaring that they won't keep people warm as if he's some sort of authority.

  54. crochet blankets can actually be pretty damn good at retaining heat. it’s 50°F right now at night, so i crochet with a blanket on me. i’m over halfway done crocheting a blanket, so a lot of it lays on top of the other blanket i’m using.

  55. I don't see how he doesn't understand that it's the gift of something not only physical, but that is also of the crocheter's time and care, made just for you. It's boggles my mind. I think his GF should find someone who appreciates what she does. It is so touching that she's hand-crocheting blankets for underprivileged people.

  56. Yes, YTA. Holy forking shirtballs are you the asshole. First, you haven't a clue how warm the blankets are because (and stay with me here) you've never used them! News flash—crocheted blankets are plenty warm. Second, it's a harmless hobby that your girlfriend has. Third, no one asked for your opinion. Why are you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

  57. You are totally right but I think this dude should go march himself down to the nearest yarn store, ask them how much yarn they think he’d need to crochet a blanket, and then actually look at how much he’d spend on that. It could easily cost that much for ONE blanket using certain kinds of yarn! Even with the cheapest yarn possible bought on sale $500 for multiple blankets isn’t bad at all.

  58. I bought a pattern a few days ago where the “recommended” yarn would have cost me $450, just for one dress. Yarn is not cheap. $500 for a whole year of blankets is her being incredibly thrifty on top of everything else

  59. YTA. They're not actually useless, you just have never tried them. I have an afghan on my bed with large holes as part of the design - it makes a huge difference compared to the sheet alone. It's also warmer than many of my other store-bought blankets. It's not as warm as a quilt but the yarn to make it was waaaaay cheaper than a quilt.

  60. You’re definitely being deliberately obtuse. I don’t really get why you’re so eager to be so contrarian and make an active effort to annoy your badass girlfriend but yes, YTA

  61. YTA. You yourself said that you never use one of her blankets. Try it some time and you'll be amazed at how warm they can actually be. And how stretched do you get when you use a blanket that you think the gaps in the yarn will suddenly expand to a great distance? If these blankets are for people living on the streets and it's their only blanket, it provides way more warmth that not having a blanket at all. Get your shit together and realize that just because something isn't "practical" to you doesn't mean it has any less value for someone else. She's being selfless with her time to make these blankets and you're being an asshole for downplaying her efforts.

  62. Your girlfriend is pouring her love and energy into a hobby that means so much to her and to the ones receiving her blankets. She's taking the time to let the people who live on the streets know that they still matter and are thought of.

  63. Ding ding ding! The objection is to time, attention, and affection being given to not-him. Which is an AH move.

  64. YTA Most crocheted blankets have gaps yet are still warm. Look up granny square blankets. You suck for hurting her feelings like this. And as a crocheter who knows many other crocheters and knitters, $500 annually on yarn ain’t shit for people who do it every day.

  65. I don't even ask how much it costs anymore. But, I do know that if I touch her cashmere yarn, I am dead. Oh, and that if I even think of putting my drink down near the alpaca wool she is using to make our daughter a dress, I will be banished to FIL's house for a month. (lol!)

  66. Ok you're missing an important part here. Let me fill you in. Her volunteering in a place like that is stressful. Very. The crocheting and being able to hand out something personal both to her and the client is what relieves some of that stress. She knows she can't solve all their problems, can't always take care of them in a very harsh environment. That's what those blankets represent. Instead of criticizing what she's choosing to do to help, find a way to help her more.

  67. Yes!!! I’m a 911 operator and I crochet on my breaks at work and during “slow” times. It is such a huge stress relief and so great for my mental health. I’ve taught other people at my center how to do it and now we work on projects together to donate! Last year we made over 100 hats for the homeless shelter down the street.

  68. Absolutely YTA. For one you don’t know what you’re talking about. And also you don’t get to gate keep what kind of blankets she makes, she’s doing something nice and all you can do is criticize and that makes you an enormous AH. Have you ever even snuggled up to a crocheted blanket? Do you know what the people at the center want and makes them happy? Spend more time learning about the work she does and less time bring an AH to your gf.

  69. Have to be pretty special to go up in flames so spectacularly here and in a usually kind hearted sub. OP you are a big old heaping serving of assholery YTA

  70. YTA. It’s not like she’s lying to people about what she’s using their money for. She’s happy the people getting the blankets are happy. People who are homeless also deserve joy and not just always the most utilitarian option

  71. Oppressively warm is a good way of putting it lol. I have huge double stitch one my mom made, holes in it and everything 😱 and it's like 15lbs, just regular "cheap" acrylic yarn. Oppressively warm is apt.

  72. Yep, you’re an asshole. Let her have her hobby YTA You don’t need to feel like it’s worthwhile.

  73. This is so true. A bit unrelated but my now EX husband used to do this to me. Made fun of my hobbies, favorite music, movies (among other things) just because HE didn't like it. Tears you down one piece at a time, hence why he's an ex now...

  74. YTA fuck off with this. She knows more about it than you- both what she is making and who she is making it for, but you think your opinion holds weight? How about you go out and buy some blankets you think will be sufficiently warm to pair with hers if you are so sure your right? Go help out at the center with her. Put your money and time where your mouth is. You owe your girlfriend an apology and more respect.

  75. YTA. In knitting there’s something called the sweater curse, which is basically when you spend a bunch of time on a sweater for your partner and you end up breaking up, which is usually linked to the partner bot appreciating the effort and love put in the project. I guess you might have invented the crochet version…

  76. YTA, for all the reasons listed, but also because you're wrong. Go look at the science. The blankets are super warm BECAUSE of the holes. It's not the thread that holds in the heat. It's the thousands of tiny air pockets caught in the tiny gaps between the threads.

  77. YTA- you've never used one of these blankets so you have no idea how warm or practical they are. You're talking about something you know nothing about, and in the future, keep your mouth shut.

  78. YTA I have made and received crochet blankets and they are alot warmer than you think. Even with the "holes" it's still warm and I love having them around the house during winter. I've even made my kids and my cousin's two kids ones and they love them

  79. YTA 100% and honestly this is so far in YTA territory I'm having trouble not feeling this is a troll. You seem to want to try humans having a hard time like their some sort of chore and if you buy them some things it done. Your girlfriend is showing people who someone care, people may otherwise never know that other humans can care for them. Furthermore I have used yarn blankets through my whole childhood (my grandma used to make them) and they ALWAYS kept me warm. Instead of trying to take away from the great things wonderful people do you try to become one of those people who do great things. Nothing gets done when you complain, especially about something so wholesome and positive.

  80. Who died and left you in charge, all puffed and strutting around like a Banty Rooster. Young man I will have you know that a family heirloom, a crocheted bed cover made by a great great aunt of mine and I’m in my 70‘s was so warm WITH HOLES ALL OVER THE PLACE, it had to be taken off the bed in order to sleep. I’ve been crocheting so long I don’t remember if I was 5 or 6 when MY GRANDMOTHER TAUGHT ME. How dare you insult that young woman for practicing an ancient craft. What do you do? Huh? What do you create that gives people joy and provides them comfort and a feeling that they are cared for as a human being? Speak up. Nothing that’s what. You don’t deserve her. Is that ALL she is able to get donations for. Tell her to come over to

  81. Hi I work in harm reduction! I see your point about efficiency but the whole point of harm reduction is meeting people where they are and caring about them as people—and what could be more caring than a homemade blanket? People who use harm reduction services are ignored at best and discarded by society at worst—so much so that a common term for them is “junkie,” reducing them to trash you find on the street. To have something lovingly crafted for them will show them someone cares and help them on their road to stability. I’m gonna go NAH since you both have good intentions but I hope you see the heart behind what she’s doing!

  82. YTA. My aunt lives in a nursing facility and she has beautiful blankets donated by lovely volunteers like your girlfriend. You can tell they were proudly handmade with love and my aunt loves them. And the families of the residents appreciate them. They brighten up the room and the residents all have them proudly displayed on their beds. It serves a purpose and they do keep people warm.

  83. YTA, unless you have worked with those who are receiving the blankets or have been in their position you can’t pass judgement. Your girlfriend sounds like an amazing caring person and you come across as AH. Even if they aren’t warm and you can get a ‘better’ one from the dollar store, can you get a handmade one by someone that cares? No. I hope she dumbs your insensitive ass

  84. YTA. Props to your gf for the works she does. I've done the same kind of work and it is not easy. And mega props for putting time and effort into making something special for the people she works with. Even if those blankets aren't as practical as something else she can purchase for cheap, the intention can actually have an impact.

  85. YTA for demeaning her time and work. She made those with love for people who may have nothing. Check your privilege at the door and apologize to her.

  86. YTA and I hope the heat of your convictions keeps you warm this winter, because I'm praying she's takes her bad-assed skills down the street to the next fella who can appreciate it.

  87. TA- she’s helping the poor and homeless with her blankets. Those blankets are warm. Have you even tried laying one over you? In addition what are you doing to help the homeless?

  88. Yta. i can’t even. I’m trying but i can’t even. Maybe …. if you crawl and grovel for forgiveness amd donate to her blanket fund - maybe you should be allowed to remain in her life.

  89. YTA. There may be a number of places they can get warm blankets, but getting one that's made for them personally with love is a rarity. These blankets probably mean a whole lot to some of these people.

  90. It seems useless to you but that’s because you have somewhere to live with nice stuff that I presume you have picked out for yourself, for some people this blanket will be a reminder that someone cared enough to make something just for them when they are going through really shitty times, when or if they eventually get back on their feet, this blanket will go with them and will be the one thing that they will probably cherish forever. Look at me 😂 I don’t give a shit about blankets normally, I think what she is doing is much more than just making a blanket though, she is showing another human being that they matter.

  91. YTA x 1000, and stupid on top of it. Crocheted blankets are incredibly warm, which you’d know if you ever tried using one. Here’s hoping your GF becomes your ex in the very near future

  92. My sister crocheted me a blanket that has plenty of "holes" in it. That blanket kept me so warm when I was sick and it made me feel so conforted cause I was surrounded by warmth and love. Sure she could have spent that money on a store bought blanket and had plenty left over but she loves me enough to make it by hand. YTA for trying to take the joy of giving that love away from your girlfriend and taking the joy of receiving the love away from other people. If you can't say anything nice, please shut the hell up.

  93. YTA - I fucking dare you to learn how to crochet and make a blanket. It’s extremely time consuming and labour intensive. She is performing an act of love and kindness to people who have made it clear they really appreciate her when they do not have many positives in their lives. That’s all you need to know. They could be the most useless blankets but if the receivers of these blankets still adore and appreciate and use them, what’s the problem? Do you feel guilty knowing you wouldn’t put the same effort, time, and consideration towards them? Why did you have take something pure and good and try to crush under your heel? You are the only one with a problem with it so sit down, shut up, and wind her damn yarn cakes.

  94. Yta. Why does your opinion matter? Do you work at the center and speak to the recipients? Are you funding the hobby and gifts? Was she enjoying her hobby to much? Why does your opinion matter?

  95. What are you talking about? I specifically grab that style of blanket when I'm cold. The gaps trap warm air. They're way warmer than a blanket made of a plain smooth material.

  96. Bro, your an idiot. My mom is a blanket making fiend and the blankets are mad warm(holes and all) YTA.... Idiot

  97. Even if the blankets had holes that were as huge as the asshole you're being, I wouldn't agree with you. The regulars love them. She likes making them. It's her money and her time. Just fucking butt out. YTA

  98. YTA I have two blankets my grandma crocheted decades ago (one in the early 1980's, the other in the late 1990's). They're both still beautiful and EXTREMELY WARM AND COZY. And, bonus, every time I use one of them I know that someone cared enough to make it by hand. Sounds like a wonderfully thoughtful thing for your girlfriend to do for people on the streets.

  99. YTA. Crochet blankets are incredibly warm. You should actually pick one of them up and try them out instead of being a huge AH and just ASSUMING these rude things. Also as someone who avidly crochets, you’re a huge AH. Crochet is a delightful art form. It’s mathematical and entirely based off physics of tension. You should try to crochet even one row to get a feel for what you’ve just dismissed so cruelly

  100. You don't know a lot about blankets, my dude, nor crochet for that matter. This type of crocheted blanket has been made for generations and they're toasty warm! Try it for yourself or, here's a crazy idea, believe your girlfriend who knows far more about all of this than you. YTA with holes all over.

  101. YTA. I just made my niece’s baby a blanket (big enough for her to use even when she’ll be a toddler) in a virus pattern.( Not that OP will understand that 😅) first thing she said to me after she got it besides she loves it, is she fully intends to use it in the winter. You’d be surprised how much heat those “holey” blankets can hold.

  102. YTA and the worst kind of idiot. You are mansplaining blankets to a person who MAKES blankets as a person who hasn't tried said blanket.

  103. YTA. You couldn't even be bothered to go a quick google to check before you started criticising your girlfriend:

  104. YTA. The blanket holes trap air which then warms up close to the body. It's the same reason multiple layers are warmer than one thick layer, and the same thing a wetsuit does with water.

  105. YTA. "Hey, girlfriend who has been doing this for years and had multiple people tell her how much they appreciate her blankets, did you know that I, who don't speak to these people at all, know they actually find your blankets, that you put a ton of time and money into, to be worthless?" Listen to yourself.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Author: admin