AITA for "causing a scene" at my MIL's wedding after I found out that my husband was there against my wishes?

  1. Wow. Your MIL sure sounds crazy. First, she decides ... on her own, without any input from you whatsoever ... how she wants to divvy up her estate. Although both her heirs are fine with it, she didn't take YOUR opinions into account. Next, she may have gotten upset when you started yelling at your husband at her wedding.

  2. The good news, is after the husband divorces OP, and the finances have been settled, the mother will rewrite her will leaving more to her son.

  3. YTA! It’s her money, it’s her wedding. Just bc you don’t get along doesn’t mean you have the right to act like a FOOL at her wedding which you weren’t even invited to. I agree your husband shouldn’t have lied to you but DAMN, just bc you two don’t get along doesn’t mean he has to disown his mother. This doesn’t sound like one of those situations where a husband should stick up for his wife and break off his relationship with his mother. From this I can see why she wouldn’t want to be around you. Your red flags are flying!

  4. I sure hope her husband keeps his part of the inheritance separated from any shared bank accounts and assets. Don't do anything with it on the matrimonial home, don't pay off any debt, make sure it's in a very seperate bank account, etc.

  5. Totally agree with this & the YTA vote. The only manipulator I see here is OP. The audacity & entitlement she displays in her own post makes it clear that she's the problem in all of this. Her husband was fine not getting as much as his brother & there could be reasons behind that other than he's not entitled to more which he seemed to accept. Someone needs to tell her life isn't a Burger King so she can't have it her way all the time. It's no wonder her MIL has cut her out with how she behaves. Hopefully her husband is wiseing up & hasn't mingled any of that money so she can get her hands in it in a divorce. The fact he had to hide going to his own mother's wedding because she demanded he stay home since she got herself uninvited (by not being invited to begin with) is just nonsense. I wonder if she's an only child that's been given everything or just the golden child with how she speaks & behaves.

  6. Not only that, but OP seems to be trying to keep her husband away from family. If this was a gender role reversal, we would be all over it saying that OP was trying to control their partner. I hope the husband finds his courage to dump OP's control freak 🍑

  7. YTA. Wow..... Control freak much? This is his mother, and you have no right to try to tell your husband he can't have anything to do with her or go to her wedding bc your eggshell feelings are hurt. You also had no right but in your nose and her business with her house if your husband has a problem with it your husband needs to be a big boy and handle it himself. You are controlling and you're going to end up losing your marriage if you don't get a grip on reality woman

  8. Op is a controlling and manipulative A. She is sticking her nose in business that is not her own and is now isolating her husband from his family hoping that she will get her way. I hope he realizes how abusive that is and divorces her. Poor guy and poor MIL who had a wackjob of a DiL ruin her wedding.

  9. Honestly, he should get a divorce. If this post and the words she used are supposed to make her look like the good guy, I can’t imagine how horrible she is in person. YTA

  10. YTA. First off, the initial disagreement had fuck all to do with you. You don't get a say in what your MIL does with her money. Second of all, that's his mom. You have no right to tell your husband he can't go to her wedding. Someone is manipulative in this relationship, and it isn't him. The fact that you felt the need to essentially ruin this woman's wedding is just the cherry on top of the AH sundae here. You sound like a nightmare.

  11. “The cherry on top of the AH sundae” lol, love that! Yeah showing up looking for a fight just proves his family right and confirms their view of OP. His mom’s wedding is such a huge life event that it’s really his call if he wants to be there for her. OP, YTA

  12. Op sounds abusive too. She is isolating her husband for not getting her way and is hoping that by taking the husband away from MIL that she will get her way and receive more money in inheritance.

  13. Lets be real. She wasn’t angry on behalf of her husband. She was mad because she wanted more money for her own greed. Her husband getting less meant OP was getting less. Isn’t that right OP? That’s actually why you were pissed.

  14. I am pretty sure that since this is the "latest" fight, OP is leaving out many, many things she has had an opinion about. The sum total, not this one thing, is most likely why no plus one was offered.

  15. Yeah I mean if I had someone like OP in my life I wouldn’t invite her either. You know if she was invited she’d find a way to ruin it. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t in this position for MIL

  16. There's definitely abuse going on here. Just what OP admitted to is abuse. I can imagine what goes on behind closed doors. MIL is a Saint for not having her arrested

  17. Ah yes the "stay out of my face" comment AFTER she literally tracked him down, busted into a wedding she was not invited to and then proceeded to scream and demean her husband in front of all the guests.... But, yeah, stay out of her face!

  18. I wonder if genders were reversed and OP saw the post if she'd get how this is definitionally abuse down to the silent treatment.

  19. Of course YTA. You ARE controlling! Your mother in law was totally justified in not inviting you. I don't blame your husband for going without you. You proved just how much of an AH you were when you went and confronted your husband at a wedding. (Dressed up i might add.) Get some therapy.

  20. He knew he had to lie because OP would yell at him if he told the truth. The relationship is effectively over because OP treats him more like an errant child than as a partner.

  21. And honestly, op's husband isn't entitled to that money. Only op's MIL is entitled to it. She could will it to the state as a home for orphaned chickens or give it outright to a Nigerian prince if she wants, bc it is hers and how she spends it is entirely her own choice, certainly not OP's.

  22. I'm having a hard time believing this is real considering for the past hour there's been nothing but trolls asking if they're the AH, when they clearly are.

  23. I don't for a minute believe it's real, as in real life. Just someone trying to cram as much drama as possible into a story. MIL hates me, husband getting thick end of a money dispute, me getting dressed up to gatecrash wedding, everyone yelling, now they all hate me, etc etc.

  24. The thing that screamed fake for me was that she called his friends and they didn’t have his back. Everyone knows a dudes friends when asked are always with the dude and maybe there’s a reason he can’t come to the phone right now like ‘oh man you just missed him he’s headed over to jimmy’s house’ instantly calls jimmy ‘yo dudes wife is about to call he’s on his way over to your house’

  25. YTA. What your MIL does with her money is none of your business. If your husband was ok with it, why did it bother you??

  26. YTA. You seem to be the instigator of all the conflict, doing your best to isolate him from his family ( and who knows if also from other parts of his support network). This reeks of control and likely emotional abuse

  27. And she's also manipulating, because when she doesn't get her way, she gives him the silent treatment. Not always outrightly manipulating, because when I'm upset with someone I also don't really want to talk to them. But it's also low key manipulating because it makes the other person feel like they have to give in for you to ever talk again.

  28. YTA, you argued about your husband getting money from his mother cause he's getting less than his brother?? How is that any of your business? House is hers, she can do whatever she wants. She could have taken an around the globe vacation with that money and your family won't see a cent. It's within her right, you should be grateful she's giving money to your family.

  29. The reason you don’t get along with your MIL is because she sees how shitty and controlling you are to her son and she probably hates you for it because he definitely deserves better.

  30. Wow, YTA. His family is right, your husband is a saint, and your controlling and manipulative. How this guy runs away from you as fast as he can

  31. I want to believe you're right, but I'm also supremely jealous that you've never known someone as nutty as OP. There is one specific person in my life who I can totally see behaving this way.

  32. YTA. The money from the house was none of your business. Your MIL put distance between you and doesn't invite you because she doesn't want the drama. Your husband lied because he doesn't want the drama. You're a drama queen all the way around.

  33. YTA, gold digger, manipulator, and trashy.. you are the perfect trifecta. He should leave you for his sake and sanity

  34. YTA! And how! The first part is literally none of your business. But how can you presume to not allow your husband (a full grown man with opinions and rights of his own), go to his own mother's wedding? I agree with MILs assessment of you.

  35. YTA You are the instigator and manipulator in your relationship, picking fights and trying to control your husband. You have got a lot of growing up to do.

  36. You do realize that your MIL is probably sitting back enjoying every second of this right? You gave a reaction that many others witnessed. Instead of simply sending a message to your husband with something like "I know you lied to me & I know where you are, we need to talk when you get back", you went and made a scene. No matter how sour yours and the MIL relationship is, the worst thing you could do was give her the satisfaction that has unfolded.

  37. YTA - You were pissed at MIL when her son was okay with something. And then because you cant get along with your MIL you want to ruin your husband's relationship with his mom?

  38. YTA. You are controlling and manipulative. He can go to his mother’s wedding if he wants to. If you got a problem with that, then talk about it at home. You do not respect your husband. If I was him (or if he was one of my brothers or a close friend), I would be pushing for a divorce.

  39. YTA. You gave no other info about BIL so we can only assume that he isn’t as financially secure as you and your soon to be ex husband. Which is why your soon to be ex was okay with his brother receiving more. Also it’s MIL’s house so be great full you got anything. You need to make a long list of apologies, see a therapist, and stop being a gold digger.

  40. YTA for s number of reasons. For starters you have zero right to tell your husband where he can or can’t go. Because of this you created a situation where your husband had to lie to you because of your unreasonable demand. And lastly you’re an asshole for making a scene. You’re husband is an asshole too for lying to you, but given it was your fault, you deserve full asshole judgement.

  41. BTW it wouldn't surprise me if MIL was giving the same to both her boys, but then DEDUCTING from your husband's side for having an AH buttinsky for a wife.

  42. YTA. You sound horrible, and you shouldn't be in a relationship with anybody (as everybody deserves to be treated with respect). Also, his mom's dislike of you and warranted, since you butt into business that had nothing to do with you. If your MIL seeks the house and gives the other son 100%, that's between her and your husband NOT YOU.

  43. YTA. Normally these MIL stories center on completely baseless feuds, but in this case? I completely understand why she did everything in her power to keep your drama as far from her wedding as possible, and I’m sorry it didn’t work.

  44. YTA. First, what MIL does with her money isn't any of your business. Second, you are purposely trying to keep your husband away from his mother because she didn't do what you want. Third, you went to an event where you weren't welcome just to embarrass and belittle your husband. You sound manipulative and exhausting. I wish your husband good luck in the divorce.

  45. oof. YTA. there is some ESH here, but you more than the others. you dont get to dictate what kind of relationship your husband has with his mother, and the fact that you tried is really gross.

  46. Woow! You’re such an AH it’s not even funny. No wonder MIL doesn’t invite you to events. Your husband deserves better. YTA

  47. Oh.my.god! YTA You got offended that his mother wanter to sell HER house, and give the other son more money! It’s her family house! Buy yourself one and do eith it whatever you want! You manipulated this poor man into promising you he won’t go to his mom’s events without you, and now he is the one controlling and manipulative? His sister and family is 100% right! It’s a wonder how he’s still with you! And if this was his post, everyone would tell him to divorce and find a nice and respectful woman!

  48. YTA but I feel sorry for you, because you don't even realise it. It was his mother's wedding?! And because of your pettiness you tried to prevent him from going. How your MIL will divide her money and assets when she's gone is her business, not yours. Your husband even said he was fine with it. Your reaction is uncalled for and if you have unfinished business with your MIL, speak up, but don't bleed on the people who didn't cut you.

  49. Wow! You are so much TAH here. I don't blame your MIL for putting some distance between you and not inviting you to the wedding since you wouldn't stay out of her business. If she wants to sell her house and give the money to a homeless shelter, that is her right and none of your business. You sound like a child "forbidding" your husband from going to her wedding, especially since you went and caused a huge scene.

  50. YTA for showing up and causing a big scene. It was obviously very important to your husband to be at his mums wedding. You shouldnt be trying to tear there relationship over a silly argument about selling a house that isnt even yours.

  51. YTA, holy hell. It's his MOTHER'S WEDDING. Of course he should be there. You are absolutely being controlling, and absolutely do not have the right to try and alienate him from his family.

  52. Your the asshole. You have ABSOLUTELY no right to decide for him if he goes to his moms wedding. It sounds to me like your the problem in this whole situation

  53. OP, do you have any self awareness at all? Your husband lied about where he was going because he knew you would be unreasonable. He probably has had to hide his own disappointment and anger throughout your relationship because it’s just not worth the fight. He deserves better.

  54. YTA, your husband is not your puppet that has to kiss your feet after you reaped the consequences of your drama stirring. The fact that he clearly wanted to go to his mum’s wedding and had to sneak around you to go is worrying me for the safety of your husband.

  55. YTA, who the f do you think you are? The money is theirs not yours and it’s his moms wedding for gods sake

  56. Dollars to donuts there’s a good reason why one brother was getting more than the other, which the brother getting less was okay with. YTA, and are most likely going to be taking a trip to divorce town if you persist.

  57. YTA, your MIL has her own arseholery going on too but your poor husband is caught in the very unpleasant crossfire. He probably should have told you he was going but from your overly dramatic, ill mannered and embarrassing public reaction I can’t really blame him for lying about it. You can’t control people like that, throwing a tantrum cause you don’t like him seeing his mum, it’s not all about you and if the poor man wants a relationship with his mother it’s up to him not you.

  58. I have a theory that this is one of those reverse posts where maybe the MIL or SIL are posting from “OPs” side, because there is no way someone who is this big of an asshole would be silently taking her judgement; she’d be angrily telling every YTA commenter how wrong they are lol

  59. YTA! You have no right to challenge how your MIL distributes her wealth, considering your husband didn’t have any problem with it. It is completely understandable why she wanted to limit contact with you. You are being unreasonable by keeping your husband away from his family. On top of that you could’ve resolved any issues you had either when you thought he is going to the wedding or after if, there was no reason to go to the wedding and making a scene.

  60. Holy shit YTA the biggest honestly. Your husband is a grown adult who is allowed to make decisions on his own. Just because YOU don’t want a relationship with his mother doesn’t mean he has to go NC.

  61. YTA. So many stories on here about MILs from hell. It’s kind of refreshing to read about a DIL from hell.

  62. YTA you are sticking your nose in mils business. Plus it’s her home and I hate to break it to you but she doesn’t have to give you a dime. And I have a feeling your husband didn’t get an equal share because she thinks your a gold digger and you proved her right.

  63. YTA for making a scene. You’re an even bigger AH for staying married. You and your husband need to get out of this miserable marriage. He doesn’t have your back (which I question because of your behavior) and you are a controlling wife.

  64. Grace-Full you are not. YTA for butting in to stuff that isn’t your business and which your husband didn’t have an issue, for forbidding him from attending his mom’s wedding, and for making a scene at his mom’s wedding.

  65. Yes, YATA. Just because you are now the wife from lleh, doesn't give you the right to make all his decisions. You are the one alienating yourself, not him. They are his family, and he has the right to see them whenever he wants, no matter what you think of them. Don't believe me? What would you think if the situation were reversed, and he forbid you from ever contacting any of your family members?

  66. YTA. A huge one! You sound so fun to be around 🙄 it’s no wonder your MIL doesn’t like you. Nosey ass, controlling, & thinks the world revolves around you. It doesn’t. Hope your husband sees these red flags & leaves your ass!

  67. YTA considering the example you gave, i'm pretty sure the reason you and your MIL don't get along is bc of YOU.

  68. YTA. HE didn't have a problem with the house sale/monetary split - YOU did. HE didn't have a reason to not go to his MOTHER'S WEDDING, YOU did. YOU are trying to alienate him from his family over YOU problems - not HIM problems. Major AH

  69. YTA It is totally ok for you to go NC with your MIL if you do not get along but let your husband take his own decision..she is his MOTHER after all... As long as she does not interfere in your life I really do not understand why he should stop see his mum only because you two do not get along.

  70. Wait your husband didn't get a plus 1? Cause if he did you didn't need to be invited. He was obviously gonna bring you before you threw a fit. My god you sound controlling. No wonder you MIL doesn't like. Probably feels bad for her son for getting hitched to you. I feel bad for him too. Enjoy your upcoming divorce. YTA

  71. YTA - All this drama was caused by you. The initial issue that your husband had no objection to (splitting of proceeds of house sale) and it looks like you continue to show MIL was smart to put distance between you two… and sadly it didn’t work when you caused a scene at the wedding.

  72. YTA 100% without a doubt. Good luck salvaging what’s left of your relationship, because I’m sure this is the beginning of the end for you.

  73. You’ll probably be heading to a divorce if you don’t introspect. You are extremely controlling and it’s understandable why people may not like you. YTA

  74. Yta and carrying on this absolutely ridiculous childish behaviour will lead your husband all the way to the divorce lawyers stupid woman

  75. YTA - you picked the fight with his mom. You decided your husband couldn't go and treated him like you controlled him. Then you pitched a fit at her wedding. No wonder she doesn't like you. I don't like you and I don't even know you.

  76. YTA. look my fiancé and his family don’t get along, and that’s OK. They are his family and he loves them regardless of whatever, I would never ever tell him not to go to things. I literally stayed home when they had their Christmas and I had a great time by myself and he had a great time. No hard feelings because I love him and I respect him and his decisions with HIS family. I am also his family and yes he will not allow them to disrespect me or say horrible things, but they know this, they also know that I would never try to keep him from them! You cannot have control over everything! And honestly the whole money thing was not yours to get in the middle of!

  77. YTA. You are the problem here. He was ok with Moms choice of giving his brother a larger portion of money but you weren’t so you created issues where there were none. You then forbid your husband to go to any family functions including his Moms wedding. He disobeyed you & went anyway. You stalked him, berated him, humiliated him & ruined the wedding. You need help. Please seek help. You’re controlling, manipulative & need help.

  78. YTA Who do you think you are? You are not a God laying down commandments for your Husband to follow. You are a disgusting controlling abusive person. I hope your Husband divorces you. No one deserves to have a spouse or anyone as demanding, and controlling a you are. I hope he realizes how bad you really are.

  79. YTA… bro… you “refused to argue” when he came home but made an absolute dick of a scene in public, humiliating him???????? TOUCH GRASS. How can you think you’re in the right for this?

  80. YTA, I didn’t think this was real at first, but then I remembered that I work with abusive spouses and their lack of insight never ceases to amaze me.

  81. YTA - meddling in your MIL's family affairs is out of line. Wanting to prohibit husband's interaction over a slight you caused yourself is pretty unexcusable.

  82. YTA! It is none of your business how your MIL chooses to divide the profit from her house. You had no right to tell your husband he couldn’t attend HIS family events, even his mother’s wedding. You caused the problem and you want him to pay the consequences for your behavior.

  83. I'm not sure this marriage thing is going to work out for you and hubby. You don't get along with his family and you are escalating a feud that you will probably have trouble winning. Your attitude is why I am going to say YTA.

  84. Okay to get this straight you’re mad that your MIL is selling her family home and doing with her money the way that she wants to because it is her money. You’re also mad because you were not invited to a wedding because clearly events like that are for people who want to celebrate the happy couple and the day couldn’t be about you. You’re mad that your husband who you gave an ultimatum to by making him promise to not go to his MOM’s wedding felt the need to lie to you so he could go and celebrate and you had the audacity to show up uninvited and cause a scene at his MOM’s wedding. And again ALL of this is about money that is NOT yours. Yes OP YTA.

  85. YTA. What MIL does with her money is not your business, your husband could have chosen to speak up about it and didn’t. Also YTA for constantly forcing him to choose between you and her… over MONEY THAT WASN’T YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

  86. Unreservedly, you are a major Asshole. What his mother does with her money is her business. His mother will always be his mother, you might not necessarily always be his wife. You sound like a very manipulative person. You knew where he was.... you had no reason to go there.

  87. YTA. Your MIL does not have to run anything by you. Your MIL does not need your permission to give one child more than the other. You get absolutely zero say with anything to do with her money or her life. You caused a scene at ylher wedding because you are too immature to act your age. You are controlling to your husband by trying to force him to cut off contact with his mom.

  88. YTA You should be ashamed of your behaviour. Who exactly makes you think you are entitled to question your MIL about what she does with her money?

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