“boyfriend”

  1. I have always been emotionally unavailable and hate saying “I love you” not because I don’t feel love for the person, but because thats how I was raised. To my partner now I do make an effort because its the reassurance they need and their love language. I make the effort because I do love them and if he loves you then he will too. Also whats with the ‘ I have lots of love for you’? In my head that isn’t the same as being in love. Again thats my opinion, but it could be the only way he knows how to express himself.

  2. That’s not a boyfriend. That’s just a boy friend. You should never have to wait years just for someone to say “I love you” or basic stuff like calling you his gf.

  3. I mean, it's fine not to say I love you if someone doesn't feel ready. But these things should be discussed, which he apparently refuses to do. She should have dumped him a long time ago.

  4. I did this with a woman after I ended a long relationship. We “dated” for 2 years and it and it was pretty awful for her. I feel bad about now but I wasn’t in a place to commit but also didn’t want to be alone. Needless to say relationship ended. I would have a long and very frank talk w/ your partner and nail down expectations, needs, and wants. If a future together isn’t on the table then you’re just wasting each other’s time.

  5. This exact situation happened to me except I was in the woman's position. Never again am I waiting that long for things to (maybe) become exclusive.

  6. yeah he’s not much of a boyfriend if he doesn’t treat you like a girlfriend. i understand some men being more subtle with their emotions, but this is another level; almost like he could be “embarrassed” of you or have another girl on the side that he doesn’t want to know of you.

  7. Ummm what? My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and still say I Love You multiple times a day. We hold hands often too, and he always calls me his girlfriend and I call him my boyfriend. You should definitely either have a discussion with your “boyfriend” about it or break up and move onto someone better.

  8. Them fools were probably just gonna hook up at the start and now none of them as had the courage to say "ok Imma ghost you now" for 2 years lmfao that just sad

  9. You must get to know yourself and learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Love yourself. There is a commandment that says, "love your neighbor as yourself." If you love yourself in turn you will love others. You get what you put out.

  10. My advice is to move on. Just because it’s not bad doesn’t mean it’s good. You don’t need to wait for him to change or catch up. You can love him and know you need more. Even something as simple as an I love you and hand holding.

  11. Different people were raised different. Some people don’t say it but they show it in other ways. This doesn’t seem like a reason to break up but more a reason to talk bout it. Let him know how you feel nd ask if saying “I love you” is out of his comfort zone nd why

  12. Did your boyfriend grow up in a household with lack of empathy from parents? I know a lot of Asian parents never say I love your or any empathetic things and rarely will do any acts of love with their SO like handholding or kissing in front of their kids.

  13. If you haven’t said anything yet then it’s worth a conversation if you really have feelings for him. But to be honest I’ve been in your shoes and the guy was a total jerk with a deal of commitment. I finally had to break it off. So many hurt feelings. From my experience I would say move on and find someone who can commit.

  14. “We accept the love we think we deserve” -perks of being a wallflower. You deserve so much better than this gf! I dated men for years who treated me poorly and I always blamed myself for not being good enough. You are not the problem. I’m sure you are LOVELY! Love yourself and seek love that is respectful and gives you peace. Don’t make excuses for shitty people, just walk away from them because they do not deserve you. Sending lots of love!

  15. Before you jump to ending it, have that conversation with him to figure out what you truly are to him. Make sure he isn't just with you because you are convenient to him. If you are unhappy with any of his answers then start to consider going your separate ways because if you make it clear you are unhappy and he doesn't care then he's not worth your time.

  16. You are being manipulated in believing that you are in a serious relationship when in reality you are being used for sex.

  17. Looking at your older post, it genuinely just sounds like you’re desperate for love you’ll take whatever you can get. Because this is not the way anyone should be treated, you give him a bunch of stuff and he’s a bum? Can’t even give you an “I love you”

  18. Have a discussion and use I statements to state how you feel. If he shuts you down you know where you stand. My partner refused to call me his gf at first, he had never really had a serious relationship before. Finally I told him I need to know where i stand, what am I to you? Finally he said it and I told him I need him to make that clear to others, as he had his druggie exes texting or calling him still and that bothered me

  19. If he doesn’t call you his girlfriend. Then technically you are not in a relationship. There is no need to break up. Just Move on. Because to me. It seems like it’s just convenient for him. And if you want more and he isn’t wanting the same as you. You should stop wasting your time.

  20. If you are unhappy, if this relationship isnt growing or meeting your needs... clear communication on this is necessary or bust. Ultimatums can backfire. Dont want a person to say something they dont mean just because of fear of being alone either.

  21. Have you guys ever sat down and talked about what you are? There may be a discrepancy in how seriously you're both taking this, and what you're looking up get out of it.

  22. Time to kick him to the curb. You aren’t married so get out. 2 years is a looong time to be with someone who doesn’t act like they even want to be with you. He’s probably staying for convenience. I think you should break up with him.

  23. Some people are incapable of saying "I love you" because of their childhood. For me it's a big deal, I have a hard time saying so. I could simply say it without meaning, but saying "I love you" by the connection is another thing. I can't explain why I have this problem, sadly. But I have this one person that I say I like him a lot. Talk to him and explain how you feel. My man knows how I feel and we've come to an understanding. We are just waiting for the right moment to take things even more seriously. Be patient!

  24. I’ve been in the exact situation, best is to first have a discussion about this, if nothing changes, PLEASE leave, I made the mistake by staying too long, it’s not worth it, your worth much much MUCH more

  25. How's his personality tho is he confident? Maybe he not that confident or maybe he trynna play you. He may be a fuckboy in training who knows? lmao

  26. Does he show love, affection, empathy and generally cares about you? Some people have difficulties opening up and making themselves vulnerable saying “the words”, which doesn’t mean there’s no love. However, actions tell the truth.

  27. Bad shit will keep happening to you if you allow it, you are worth so much more than this.. leave this dude and find someone who actually cares about you and can show the affection you need

  28. Some people just don't like to say the words. Some people feel that they lose their meaning if they're said. Some people would rather show you than say the words. My bf of 5yrs has never said I love you to me. But he shows me in his actions & how he treats me. I'm more confident in his love for me than in my own parents. Have you said it to him? Have you asked why he doesn't say it? I'd do that before just dumping him.

  29. How old are you guys? Have a conversation and ask him why he doesn’t treat you like his gf and depending on what he says go from there

  30. If he wanted to he would! Everyone deserves to feel good in their relationship. Have a discussion and if it goes no where he may not be the one for you.

  31. Saying I love you is one thing. Not calling you his GF is the bigger deal. Have a discussion, if it doesnt satisfy it’s time to find someone that does value you

  32. You said that he doesn’t hold your hand - I’m wondering if y’all are sexually active. If you are then it’s kinda weird. You may want to ask if it’s a friends with benefits or legit a couple.

  33. Sit down and talk with him, try explaining how you feel. If he doesn't listen to you, or doesn't want to discuss your relationship then leave. You shouldn't feel like your not good enough, this guy is meant to add to your happiness not take it away! You deserve clarity!

  34. I don't say "I love you" often because, at my funeral, no one is going to be counting the times I told them that. They will remember the phone calls just because or sitting through that movie even though I hated it or went to the street fair even though I hate crowds. He may need someone to talk to.

  35. Are you sure he's your "boyfriend?" Are you absolutely 100% positive you're dating? Are you two exclusive? Have y'all had that conversation before? You're more than likely not the only one. You should consider leaving for your own well being to be honest.

  36. Once someone has been spending time with and is in a physical relationship you, they are in a relationship with you. However, the terms of this relationship may be asymmetrical and not mutually respectful; they can even be humiliating. There are extremely important things that are being withheld from you in this relationship: social acknowledgement, affection, and (you are right) respect.

  37. You don’t feel good enough it’s either you have expectations and insecurities, orrrrr he’s not entirely life long serious

  38. Does he think you’re a couple? Like, he skirts the questions you raise, so it seems like he doesn’t actually view this as a relationship.

  39. Is it possible he has undiagnosed mild autism or suffered abuse as a kid? Some people have an extremely hard time showing vulnerability, although its probably more likely he's playing you.

  40. Talk with him, does he express emotion often about other topics? I used to not express emotion that often, which usually led to people thinking I don't care, which was the opposite. I love them with my heart, but I just failed to pass that to the outside.

  41. Info: have you guys been out on formal dates where it was called a date? Are you intimate? Met each other’s parents? How old are you two? Does he have any hang ups/baggage that you may or may not be aware of that could be reason for his stand-offish behavior? Much was left out to give proper advice I feel.

  42. Two years? Have you not had conversations about this? No one is a mind reader so unless you have brought this to his attention, then you're pretty much stuck. If after talking to him about this and he still does it, then it might be time to say good-bye.

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