I 24m called off our wedding because my fiance told my 12 year old baby sister that she is not our real family.

  1. Right a real partner would never ask (or expect) you to choose them over your family if a relationship with that person is what you want

  2. You care for your sister by removing Jess from both of your lives so that it's clear your sister can always rely on you. You cannot trust Jess around your sister ever again, and you cannot trust her to be a good mother to more children.

  3. yes anyone who would treat a child like that definitely isn't mama material. Like what if she's hoping for a girl and gets a boy? She'll probably treat him just like she's treating the sister or maybe worse.

  4. You absolutely did the right thing, you respected the bond between you and your sister, and I think the fact that you took such a strong stance shows beyond doubt to your sister that she is loved so no need to reassure.

  5. Dude. You are a really great big brother and all around human. Jess is not. It's a sad fact that her heart is too small to start a family. You did the right thing. It's important to protect children from adults with tinyheartitis to prevent harm.

  6. Take care of your sister. Wait to get married in your 30s. Young adults hardly know who they are, and usually aren’t equipped for marriage.

  7. I would add to wait until your sister is 18 and off to college or trade school. It’s too stressful to bring a wife into this dynamic - for you and your sister. Six years will fly by and then pick the woman of your choice who has the maturity to understand the commitment you made.

  8. You did the right thing. At least you know now what kind of person Jes is, I suggest leaving her because even if she starts "acting nicer" it'll probably be a front until you get married.

  9. It sounds like you and Jess want different things, and it doesn't sound like Jess is willing to compromise at all. With your sister in the mix, she is family - it sounds like Jess is not going to be anything but a thorn in your side. I hope your sister is okay. Frankly, I would not pursue marriage or starting a family with Jess, and I'd investigate whether I could afford to keep the apartment on my own if Jess were to find another place to stay. I think Jess having this private conversation with your sister is absolutely unacceptable, she has absolutely no place to say these things to a 12 year old child who is dealing with coming from a shaky situation as it is. Jess, come on.

  10. Yes, you made the right decision. Your (ex) fiance is a spectacularly selfish, mean-spirited, bullying, dumpster fire of a human being. You, my friend, have an opportunity here to dodge a huge bullet. I hope you take it.

  11. Your poor sister! I’m so happy she has you in her life. Your ex has shown her true colors, thank goodness you found out and dodged the proverbial bullet.

  12. You are a wonderful brother and altogether a very decent human being. Your girlfriend clearly isn't. Take this advice for life from a 49 year old: any problems you may have in a relationship prior to a serious commitment such as marriage will only get worse after marriage. It's refreshing to read about a 24 year old with his priorities and head in place. You did so good by your sister. As a mom myself, I'm really proud of you. Good luck to you and your sister, regardless of what you decide to do about your relationship.

  13. She is a not the one. She would have shown her selfish nature at some point, and thankfully it happened before iit cost you an expensive divorce.

  14. Right decision? Yes. Emphatically. If your fiance does not care for your sister and you clearly do, it would forever be a point of difference. Not exactly a small one like different opinions on flavours of ice cream.

  15. I spoke with her beforehand and she was reluctant but did not disagree. Jess does not stay here full time but she does spend most of the time here. We were going to look into moving together officially after getting married.

  16. Make sure you let your sister know that you and Jess postponing the wedding / breaking up is NOT your sister's fault. She's 12, she will internize this and believe she ruined things by telling you what Jess said. To head that off, THANK your sister for helping you see this major issue and major misalignment in yours & Jess' values. Explain that the way Jess thought about Sis and the way she spoke to Sis shows Jess' selfishness, her tendency to lash out, and her back handedness - all things that would have created major problems in your marriage. In other words, explain to Sis that this wasn't about choosing Sis over Jess, it was about seeing a side of Jess you didn't know was there. And Sis' honesty helped you see that before it was too late.

  17. You absolutely made the right choice. Your sister will always be a part of your family and clearly Jess doesn't respect that, so she shouldn't be a part of the family.

  18. Whatever you do, don't take that person back. She intentionally said hurtful things to your sister who is going through enough right now. I can't wrap my head around her starting to call that poor child names when you called her out for her crap. She has shown you that she is a vile person. Picture the wan standing there screaming and calling your sister names. Is that the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Would you be proud of any future children act like her? Take some time and make sure that your poor sister knows that she is important to you, you love her, and that nothing that vile woman said is true. You may also want to look into getting your sister therapy for all she went through with your mom. I'm sure there's a LOT she hasn't told you.

  19. NTA. My brother and I are 13 years apart. I baby sat him a lot. It is too bad that she does not accept your sister. It is a good opportunity for her to have some extra help with a baby. Sister and baby can have a good relationship. When I got married at 20, and moved away from home, my brother wanted my mom to make me move back. We lived close to them where he would walk over to our house.

  20. I’m sorry you’re hurting but you did the right thing. It’s not fair to you nor your sister the circumstances you’re in but you’re trying to make the best of a bad situation. If your fiancé couldn’t be supportive then the relationship needed to end.

  21. I ended up divorced but I loved my kids and was very involved in their lives. One big mistake I made was thinking that I could have a new relationship and my kids would be an important part of that. At one point I lived out of town for 2 years and would go back every other weekend to be with my kids. I would tell who I was with that I would need to do this and found it admirable and endearing that I was so devoted to my kids. Until they had to live it, they hated that I was away.

  22. Sorry dude, but I think you are dodging a bullet here. If your woman can't accept your family then its time to move on and find someone who will.

  23. You made the right decision and the decision is reassurance to your sister. You proved to her that no one will make her feel unwanted when you’re around.

  24. Though I understand Jess is frustrated nothing justifies what she did. If she had anything to say she should’ve said it to you not your sister, traumatizing a child like that shows that she’s not ready for parenthood. Also life isn’t perfect and if one minor thing like your actual family needing your help is such a huge inconvenience to her then she’s not the one anyway. You dodged a bullet!!

  25. Get rid of that Bitch asap. What a waste of human flesh telling a kid these things. She probably feels unloved. The only right thing to do is to kick that bitch out

  26. Definitely dodged a bullet there, you’re a great person and I’m sorry Jess has shown her true colours this way. You deserve more. Good luck with everything.

  27. NTA: But it time to rethink this relationship the way she treating your sister is revolting and emotionally abusive.

  28. I misread the title and thought this was about your baby sitter. I was like “damn, Jess is a savage. Probably told her santa wasn’t real right after”. Turns out Jess is just an asshole. You definitely made the right decision.

  29. I'm just trying to figure out where I can find a brother like you and also, how to raise my daughter's to have such a beautiful sibling relationship like this. Way to set an example for her. You're truly a great guy.

  30. I hope you called off the whole relationship and cut her off completely, not just the eloping part. Her not being understandings as a huge red flag and this incident was the finish line. Your sister probably “worshipped” the ground Jess walked on because this probably wasn’t the first time she’s hinted at her being unwanted. I hope you remove Jess entirely from your life and focus on you and your sister.

  31. Big Bro!! This is what being big bros is all about. Stickin up for your siblings in the face of everyone!! I for one am proud of you! Your lil sister so deserves to have someone in her corner like you. Keep it up! ;) <3

  32. It sounds like Jess is worried that this new situation with your sister is going to make it so you two can’t have children together. She is seeing your sister and your prospective baby as competing with each other. Try to recontextualize the relationship. This time with your sister is kind of like practice parenting, have her see this as the first step in you two starting a family. Honestly Jess just sounds like she has some big feeling that are hard to express. Working through feelings without taking it out on children around you is an important skill to acquire if you wish to be parents together. I think with some patients, empathy, and potentially a licensed therapist, you three could work it out

  33. I am so proud of you OP even though I don’t know you. I promise you that you did the right thing absolutely. Jess wants to start a “real family?” Lucky she showed that sentiment BEFORE legal matrimony complications were going to make it more difficult for you. This is a real family already and she should have been able to see she was lucky to have been welcome to join the family that already was a real family made up of you and your sister. Family is here we feed and who we get and we’ll have enough that isn’t about us when they need us. Sometimes these are relatives sometimes these are people that claim you but without attitude I don’t see her prospects for either of these being very spectacular. That’s not your concern now and i’m twice your age with kids younger and older than you are. And I am feeling less pessimistic about anybody’s outlook on your generation that I just disagree with. That’s awesome you’re a good brother. And I had a brother like that very similar situationAnd his wife didn’t agree that they needed another adolescent in their household. And that was a long time ago but I never held it against him and I never realized how diabolical she goes until after he passed away. But family is…. Your mom might have her personal battles but someone showed you how to be a decent human. I’m hoping that Jess can be no impediment for you being able to help your sister to become the same. I wish you the best.

  34. Fuck that bitch, you didn't dodge a bullet, you dodge a whole fucking tank She is not the right HUMAN to be with, if I ever had some suspicion that she might have done something like that I would kick her out of the house immediately Never thought I would be this fucking angry because of a bitch like this And it's a fucking child for god sake

  35. Your sister may feel bad, thinking she caused you and Jess to break up. Reassure sis that Jess is gone not because of anything sis did, but because Jess is not a good person to have a married relationship with.

  36. You did the right thing. I'd add that you might want to assure you sister that the breakup is not her fault, since it seems like she takes a lot of responsibility on herself (hiding her mother's bad parenting).

  37. Yes you absolutely made the right decision. Protect your sister. Jess is a controlling cruel person and it would be unwise to start a family with her.

  38. Jesus Christ. That is vile and unacceptable. Yes, you made the right decision. Thank you on behalf of your little sister.

  39. First off, you sound like an absolutely amazing person. Secondly, don’t doubt yourself about Jess. Listen to your heart. This is a seriously massive red flag for so many reasons. I’m sorry this happened but you’re making the right decision.

  40. You made the best decision. Your little sister is your family and blood and if your gf can’t be mature enough to handle that then she isn’t the one. Good for you to stand up and protect your sister. She never asked for her mom to fail her like she did and she is probably is a very hard situation.

  41. wow im very happy your little sister has an amazing big brother that looks after words. much respect from me OP genuinely from the bottom of me heart. Jess is a mayor POS and can take her toxicity else where, good thing you were able to see her in her shitest personality before marriage. OP definitely dodged a nuke of problems. Goodluck!!

  42. You made the right decision op. You really dodged a bullet. Jess is selfish, childish, lacks empathy, and possibly narcissistic. You are deeply empathetic and kind. The relationship would have been doomed and you deserve better.

  43. Congratulations! You are a good and decent man! You deserve a lot better than this conniving, manipulative bitch. She ALMOST caught you!

  44. You dodged a big fucken bullet there. Family is family. You can’t just kick family, especially a 12 year old sister, to the curb simply because some dumb cunt tells you too. You’re better off without her and you did the right thing. Might hurt a bit, but eventually you’ll see that it was the best thing you could have ever done for yourself and your sister.

  45. Marriage (or just sharing your life with someone else) is challenging for exactly these types of reasons - sometimes I have to make space for my husband’s extended family when I don’t want to but he does the same for me. It can be really stressful but we do it in a supportive, agreeable way as much as possible because that’s family and that’s what you do. If your fiancé can’t even do that one time for you before you’re even married, then she’s not going to be able to handle being married to you or anyone so you’re better off without her.

  46. Dodged bullet bro. Good on you for stepping up and being a great older brother, your going to make an amazing father one day

  47. Jess sounds like a narcissist who had only her own interests in mind from the start. I'd even wonder how much you wanted any of that having a kid and eloping fantasy because it sounds like she was pulling the strings from the start.

  48. Stay strong king! You'll definitely find someone better who respects you and treats your sister as her family. Stay mentally strong and be proud for taking stand for yourself and your sister. You did good🙌

  49. You are THE OLDER BROTHER... She is your responsibility... And shame on fiance that she is turning you against your sister

  50. Saying she wants to start a family and then emotionally bullying a child knowing how hard she's had it living with an alcoholic mum, what makes it worse is that child is your sister, just shows how she's absolutely not ready to be a parent. I can't even understand how an adult can be like that, what a nasty personality. I'm sure you know already but you definitely made the right decision, fortunately she showed her true colours before you got married or had baby yourself. Also it goes without saying but great job being there for your sister man, you're probably all she's got right now, take care of her and yourself.

  51. You did the right thing. You’re so young for marriage, and you can’t be with someone that deliberately tries to upset and undermine your sister’s sense of security and home.

  52. Oh yeah. You made the right call. Jess (hope that's a reddit name) seems to have little empathy, and your sister has been though the wringer!

  53. Imagine looking at a child, someone of direct blood relation to someone you claim to love, a child thats in need of a good home, one you can provide for her, and thinking of her in nothing but a cold manner, thinking of her as an obstacle to your family even though she is family herself. OP, do not marry Jess, she clearly doesnt have a caring heart, and thats not someone you want to have kids with. This is a crucial time in your sisters life, those early teen years are BRUTAL, she needs a stable home with good family and i seriously hope youre dedicated to providing that for her. Let your sister know that despite whats going on with Jess, none of it is her fault, and that she will always have your support. The fact that Jess dead set on a kid, but doesnt view your sister in at least SOME sort of motherly way, is a weird to me.

  54. You and your sister don't need someone like "Jess" in your lives. If she is able to get like this now just imagine how she is going to be with the stress of a baby. Your sister needs a stable environment and living with "Jess" could be dangerous for her.

  55. You did the right thing. It hurts, but you’re right, your sister is your real family and your responsibility. And if the authorities removed her from your mothers care legally then you could be in a heap of trouble if she went back there. I’m sorry your ex-fiancé showed her colors but at least you found out before anything was legally binding.

  56. You're a good brother, and an even better man. Your sister needs you, and your ex showed her resentful and spiteful true colors. Bullet dodged. Focus on school and your sister for now

  57. Your ex is too immature for marriage or parenthood. Even if you get back together a wedding should be on hold and lock down the birth control.

  58. I think calling off the marriage IS the best way to reassure your sis that she is safe with you. It helps her to know how much of a priority she is to you. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this, on top of already clearly having a difficult childhood. You’re a really good brother/parent figure for your sister to grow up with. She gets to see and learn from the boundaries that you’ve set and stood by. Good job, big bro! <3

  59. This woman had a chance to step up and be a mother figure to a child who desperately needs one. Instead she chose to say hurtful things that undoubtedly traumatized her.

  60. I think Jess is acting out the wrong way but that doesn't mean that her feelings about the situation are wrong. When you are engaged to someone and about to get married that means you want to commit the rest of your life to that person and to a future with that person. I understand you want to take care of your sister and that is your choice. I would do the same. But taking such a huge decision affects her as well. If you want her to understand your choice you can't just brush it off as something normal. It's not a normal situation that you're in. And she is obviously frustrated because she wants a family with you. You can't handle having a child and taking care of your sister which isn't fair to Jess. I don't know if you discussed having children before or not. But it sounds like she was expecting it. And if you hadn't discussed it, you two should've discussed your expectations towards each other because you are on two different grounds right now. I do think it was wrong of her to say what she did to your sister but I think she was acting out of feelings of hurt and frustration. Especially since you're saying she's not usually like that. You two need to have an in-depth proper talk about the expectations of each other and the near future. Try to find understanding in her behavior and she needs to understand you too. But the only way to understand each other is by open communication and by listening to each other. Relationships are all about that and compromising. Maybe you are ready for a kid in 1-2 years instead? Talk about it. It's easy to give up but if you have a good relationship it's worth fighting for and it's worth making the effort to communicate and listen to each other. Most relationships fail because people don't know how to communicate their emotions and thoughts. Instead they act out because they feel frustrated. Whatever you choose to do, think it through. I wish you the best of luck and am sorry for your sister and what she's going through.

  61. I'm a bit confused how looking after a 12 year old would stop you having kids? Surely this would be the same thing as having a kid already and then trying for a second one?

  62. Yes, you made the right decision. Jess is very selfish and unable to think of anyone but herself. As you look back you will remember scenarios that happened and you missed it at the time. Hoping you find someone who truly fits your dreams and truly understands the meaning of family.

  63. I don’t know why everyone on this subs says leave your girlfriend like it’s nothing. They know nothing of your relationship other the this one bad negative story, where I. Reality it’s probably a mostly positive relationship.

  64. Everyone is saying to leave his gf because she saw his own sister as a burden and told a literal child and a family member of his that’s she’s not “real family “ to them. Not only is his gf immature but she’s simply evil because no person with a good heart says that to a child that is not with their mother and depending on the only brother they got. Relationships comes and goes but family supposed to be forever

  65. She is not right for you. Anyone that would toss a child to the curb like that would not make a good mother. I would end it and focus on your school, work, and sister.

  66. I think you did the right thing by supporting your sister. She is biologically family already. Jess is extremely selfish and self centered. She comes across as a problem child. I suggest you move her out as quickly as possible. Jess will continue to try to drive a wedge between you and your sister.

  67. this is the right decision you did a good thing by your sister. You're young if you feel like you need to focus on different things than ur gf than maybe u guys should look at ur relationship she obviously sucks majorly

  68. You did the right thing. I have family that is like that, and I live across the country from them. Kids are generally innocent. Sure they are assholes, and raising them is difficult, but no kid deserves to be told that they are unloved and unwanted. You did the right thing, and you will find a girl that not only is okay with that, but will be smitten with you because of how willing you were to sacrifice your convenience for your little sister.

  69. Fuck that woman, take care of your sister. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't respect that. You absolutely made the right decision, and is a damn good thing you found out what she was really like before you got married.

  70. You are a good brother. Jess will unlikely be a good wife and mother. Having your sister there is kind of an opportunity for her to be a 'mother figure', but clearly she doesn't want to do that.

  71. I read "sitter" at first, and was intrigued. Then I was horrified. Jess sucks major ass, and I'm happy for you that you caught it before you got married to a monster.

  72. Not the girl you wanna marry, if she treats your sister like this just imagine her with someone's step kids. She sounds like a Karen if I've ever heard of one. The world isn't full of perfect or happy endings and this entitled chick just got a small dose of reality. Let her know that life isn't perfect and if she can't act right with your sister it's only going to get rougher from here.

  73. You should take your sister and go on a holiday somewhere, even if it’s just something simple. Let her know she is the most important person in your life

  74. That's disgusting honestly... You seem like a very understanding and nice person but you should really leave Jess for good. There's no excuse to tell a 12 year old girl that she isn't wanted, especially considering how much she's been through recently. You did the right thing by calling off the wedding, but don't take her back either. She wants a baby so bad but someone who treats children that way doesn't sound like someone who should have kids.

  75. I hope you've ended the relationship completely because she is just an awful person and you don't need to be stuck with her for the rest of your life. She's not the one.

  76. I imagine you would want your spouse to be compassionate and empathetic. Jess is NOT those things… she’s selfish and cruel. You 100% dodged a bullet.

  77. You are a quality person. What you have taken on is admirable. I'm sorry your fiance isn't the same caliber, and is lacking basic compassion. I wish you and your sister well! She will always look up to you for the actions you've taken.

  78. You absolutely did the right thing. First what An amazing brother you are. Next, you are in your early to mid 20’s you can hold off on kids of your own while you finish getting your life in order. And find a suitable woman. Jess is most certainly not that woman.

  79. A foolish man builds his house on sand. A wise man builds his house upon stone. You're building your life on the rock! The world needs more men like you! Stay in prayer and ask God to guide you and you can't go wrong! God bless you!

  80. You are a good man! Your sister is so amazingly lucky to have you in her life. You deserve a woman that will support you not hurt you or your sister.

  81. I don't understand how someone does 24 years old could misspell the words X girlfriend. Ask yourself this is this the kind of person that you want to be the mother of your child? You are seeing who she really is the mask is off if your answer is yes then you're delusional and if it's no get rid of her.

  82. First things first get a point where you can support a kid before having one. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

  83. Yeh good call, fuck her, recipe for an abusive parent/family member. That's how it starts, from experience. Takes guts man.

  84. Yikes. Your EX is a terrible person and incredibly selfish. Your sister is family and just a kid who needs structure and security right now. I hope you have zero intention of ever opening any lines of communication with that person ever again. She is clearly perfectly fine with abusing children. Don’t tolerate it and co-sign that behavior.

  85. Consider it as a karma. Your kindness towards your sister have paid off, and life said “this good fella doesn’t deserve to be with this selfish woman who will cause big trouble down the road”.

  86. You made the right decision. Who talks to a kid like that, especially a kid traumatized the way your sister is? I can't imagine Jess having kids, she has no empathy.

  87. Wow this woman is so unbelievably selfish! I would not marry a woman like that You are an amazing human being you are taking care of your sister who needs you and the woman that you are suppose to be spending the rest of your life with is behaving like this??! You did more then the right thing I am so sorry you are going thru this ☹️ that is so horribly heartbreaking See if it was me I would be so worried about bonding with your sister and making sure she has everything she needs, and trying to find her maybe some counseling because of mom’s behaviour is she needs it not acting like that ☹️. She’s your baby sister of course she’s real family That poor little girl didn’t need to hear that either Keep us posted OP? Let us know how you and your sister are doing?

  88. You absolutely did the right thing. Concentrate on your schooling, parenting and work for awhile. The universe will send you an angel that loves you and your sister when the time is right. Good luck and bless you for helping your sister.

  89. You absolutely did the right thing. It sounds like your ex was doing a good job of hiding her true self from you. I think you are lucky she made it clear who she really is so you can get out before she traps you with a baby.

  90. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry this happened to your sister. That being said, your sister's presence just saved your future happiness. Jess is a selfish, entitled, POS. You made the right decision, and the unfortunate circumstances that led to you having to take your sister in also led to you finding out what a huge lunatic Jess is.

  91. You made the right choice. Don’t understand how her brain works in thinking your sister is not your family.

  92. That's your baby sister bro, if your fiance doesn't want anything to do with your family she doesn't want anything to do with you. When you get married, you marry the whole family not the individual

  93. Did you ever discuss the situation with Jess? Did you ever involve her or ask how she feels about the situation? Because it doesn't seem like you did from what you wrote and that's a major mistake on your part. Don't make major life decisions without including your partner. Especially if you want to marry said partner.

  94. Bro your sister should come before anything else, you made the right call and it's fucked that she's gonna call a 12 year old names and tell a 12 year old that

  95. Hell yes you did shit if I was in your shoes I'd done the same I'm so sorry for sounding heartless but without giving away too much personal info I can say I'd do the same in a heart beat.

  96. Yes you did the right thing. Jess seems like she only cares about what she wants and has no regard for what you want (esp about your sister). You deserve someone who supports you and the people you care about. Especially family.

  97. You dodged a bullet my guy - she showed her true colours (thankfully before getting married) your sister should be your top priority in this case. You guys didn’t ask for a alcoholic mother. You guys can’t help her, just make sure your sister gets the right love and care she needs!!!

  98. Kind people would never treat a child like that and say those horrible things them. She probably always been mean and just managed to hide it from you.

  99. You made the right choice. The part about your sister saying you taking her in was the happiest day of her life and making you a pink bracelet is so wholesome it makes me emotional. I’m 25F and what came to mind for me when reading is with marriage, you’re making a vow to love that person no matter what. Marrying someone is loving them even if they’re in a horrific accident, if they get a terminal illness, if you find out that person can’t have children, there are so many variables. It doesn’t sound to me that Jess’s love would be unconditional. Things change and partners need to be able to move and grow with that change. She’s allowed to want to only have a husband and child, but if she wants that she should’ve left you. It is NOT okay to that she instead tried to breakup your family and said horrible things to a child in a time that could be very traumatic for her. I’m sure you could go back and forth on the family thing all day but bottom line is her saying those things to your sister is an absolute dealbreaker. She’s an innocent child. I would keep reassuring your sister as you have been, and make sure she knows you will always have her back and be her advocate, because I’m sure she will feel like this is all her fault. If you do break up with Jess, tell your sister that there were others problems between you and it wasn’t about her. Because it’s not about her, it’s about Jess’s behavior.

  100. Great call man. Would've done the same. I too have a younger sister. I send her little cats vids and pics when i'm at work, even if she's 21. She loves them :)

  101. Don't you dare choose ex-fiance over your blood relative. You are an honorable man and deserve much better. Underdtand, this is just the opening salvo of demands. Next, it will be you need to provide more while somehow working less and spending more attention on her (my ex's fav impossible demand).

  102. wow she is way out of place i mean how can you not care for your fiancés sister who had a hard upbringing and is finally in a stable situation WOW i can see that possibly she is jealous because she usually gets all the attention and now she sees you caring for your sister maybe? BUT WOW no she can go that behavior is discusting honestly total lack of compassion and selfishness

  103. Blood comes first, your sister will always be there for you. I don't think I can say the same about your fiance. You made the right decision

  104. Oh dear, you really dodged a bullet there! If this is the attitude she has about your sister, trust me you do not want to parent children with this woman.

  105. She is giving major Meredith Blake from the parent trap vibes. ANYONE who has the heart to be mean to a child- especially a child who’s suffered like your sister has- lacks empathy and compassion. And marrying someone who lacks those qualities would be a mistake.

  106. She showed you a glimpse of who she truly is!!! Any woman would be head over heels for a man that would take his baby sister in and take care of her, especially when there was another option, however terrible that option is. For Jess to want your sister OUT of the picture….. WOW. WOOOOOWWWWW dude….. that is probably one of the most selfish human beings you can know. She will not be your partner, and I have a very good feeling the marriage would not have lasted. She would have gotten the baby out of you, which is what she really, truly, wants, and then would have completely changed into a different more horrible and selfish person. You already saw a little bit of her true colors, just by having her “dream” threatened in some small made up way. You could have still had a baby, just maybe not for 4-5 years. Is that really so bad? Like you said, you aren’t even in a position to have a baby now, so what’s the rush? Why is she pushing for it so much? Because she doesn’t care about you or what you want… Truly, she cares what she’s wants. That’s it. For her to not understand your sisters situation, AND for her to WANT your little sister to go back to an ALCOHOLIC mother? What the fuck is wrong with her? Like seriously, who wants that for anyone they “care” about. Please, please do NOT take this girl back. Not only because of your sister, but for yourself as well. You deserve much better than that, you really do. I hope you and your sister are able to work things out, and maybe with Jess gone you can build an even better relationship with her, and it sounds like she could probably use that. Thank you for standing up for her. That means more to her than you can ever imagine!

  107. I have a little brother. If anyone I ever dated talked about him like so or said something like that to him their happy ass would be out on the curb faster than it takes their synapse to fire in processing what just happened.

  108. You did the absolute right thing by telling Jess she was wrong. Your sister needs to come first before anything else! You are an amazing older brother and need to be with someone who respects the responsibility you have now. Why Jess feels this way about your own sister is confusing and disgusting. I wouldn't marry her, even if she said she would change, the damage has been done. Those are unforgivable things to say.

  109. You made the right call. 1000%. As far as reassurance goes, I would see if you could take time off work and have a day or two just about you and your sister being together. This should give her peace of mind that you two are family.

  110. You dodged a bullet. Jess clearly doesn’t care if you aren’t ready for a baby, just be extremely careful as she may get pregnant intentionally to trap you to staying with her. Run away and fast.

  111. You did absolutely the right thing. Your sister sounds like a angel. Please break it off with her completely and move on and help your sister into the real world.

  112. You did the right thing. That Jess threatened the one stable relationship in that child’s life is beyond heinous. You are your sister’s world right now, trust me, and she needs to feel safe and loved, and you are doing just that. You will not regret either the decision to take in your sister or the decision to call off that wedding.

  113. You did the only right thing to do. Your ex gf should stay an ex and you and your sister can be thankful she showed herself like this. Your sister just saw you chose her oder your gf, she knows you love her.

  114. You absolutely made the right decision. A person that selfish and cruel is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

  115. You absolutely made the right decision. If your partner can't handle you taking care of your sister, who, by the way is real family, and isn't willing to help take care of her because she thinks your sister isn't real family, then she has no business starting her own.

  116. Very mature the way you you handled it. You understood all the implications this had on your sister and i’m sure she’s already been through enough. Your ex fiancé is a cunt man, if she had any bit of decency in that black hole of a heart she has she would treat her like her own. She would understand the circumstances and do her best to make her feel at home and welcome but no, all she is doing is thinking about herself. Her wants, her needs, how your sister is “getting in the way of everything” that is not what kind hearted people do.

  117. Just let your Sister kneo this wasn't her fault, otherwise it might lead to serious consequences... I've seen plenty of people taking the blame on them... you did the right thing

  118. pardon my crude wording, but fuck that bitch. if she's gonna pull a back handed piece of shit move like that, she's no good for anyone, least of all you, who shows you have a much bigger heart than she does. you made the best move possible, if you have not already cut contact with her. no matter her reasons, no one ever should do that

  119. Damn that’s really hard to deal with I’m sorry for you. You’re a great older brother and no disrespect, but Jess is an absolute trashy cunt. She can respectfully go fuck herself. You did absolutely great in backing your sister up and continuing to support her.

  120. Jess really fumbled the bag on that one. Easy opportunity to hire sister as a babysitter a few years down the line but instead she wants to be selfish.

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