Boys. How can a guy move on so quick? Ex: like a guy recently broke up with me saying he needs to work on himself and that relationships aren’t for him than I find out he already moved and is with another girl, it only been a month😂wtf

  1. I use something similar to break up. In my opinion, which could be wrong, I don’t want the other person to feel that they are at fault just because I am not interested in them anymore.

  2. Also, the person can believe it's that way. I thought I just had to work on myself and so on, but after I broke up with my ex, it turns out that I just didn't wanna be with her. Didn't wanna be with anyone else either, but it was mostly the fact that I wasn't interested in her anymore

  3. I used to think having interest in someone was black and white. But now I know, you can be interested in someone enough to date, but not enough to be official. Enough to have sex, but not enough to go further than that. She's probably on a scale where he likes her enough but not enough for full on relationship. Such is the harsh reality we all face.

  4. He was lying, trying to make you feel better. It's BS, but that's what people do when they know they are going to hurt someone.

  5. Thanks for sharing! Something similar happened to me. My boyfriend of 8 years left me and two days before he did, I had a meeting with my now husband about renting some equipment. I thought I would be single for a while and even had a bit of a plan to win back my ex. But started talking to my now husband and a month later I was head over heels. Been together 8 years now. Did not expect that at all

  6. There’s a potential 3rd reason: He doesn’t know how to process feelings. Some guys are tainted by toxic masculinity and just stuff emotions down. Instead of feeling the feels and properly processing them, they avoid it, pretend everything is ok, and try to move on quickly. It usually leads to extra baggage for the next person he dates.

  7. Some people man or women can manage to move on or are just very good at hiding it. That or they weren't invested that much in the first place.

  8. Saying what he did was most likely trying to spare your feelings when he had already been checked out for quite sometime and thinking about other options. Try not to take it as personally cause this is about poor communication and acting like a coward on his part. Delete and block him from all of your social media so you're not tempted to keep tabs on his life.

  9. Well, I broke up with my ex gf about a year ago, and only now I was able to move on, improve my social life (it's still almost non-existent, but it's something). But as someone said earlier, it's not "guys do this, girls do that", it's individual really

  10. I would say think about how he doesn’t truly love or care about you bc he did that. Now me personally I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who doesn’t care about me.

  11. Men and women both do this. My ex went from me to another guy in the span of 2 weeks. Either they "ended" the relationship long before the break up or they didn't really care about you as much as you thought.

  12. I feel like I’ve been been give a broken heart so many times that I just learned how to emotionally detach myself from people in a matter of days.

  13. I feel I’m at that moment as well, I don’t think it can be that healthy but it’s another way of just getting over it so easily too but I wish you the best

  14. Sounds like you got off easy. My ex left me because we "weren't compatible" after 14 months. And then she goes on about how we should go on different paths. She also started to recommend me to start dating someone else that we both knew. Along with another 30 minutes of excuses that I don't remember because I was too distraught. She was also smiling the whole time during the break up, as if she's been waiting for months to get it off her chest. I didn't see it coming at all. If there were any issues at all, we would always talk it over.

  15. The question shouldn't be "how can a guy move on so quick?", but instead WHY did he move on so quick? This goes for men and women... in OPs example, the why is simply because he wasn't reciprocating your feelings in the same way.

  16. Consider the high probability that he moved on while he was with you. Or, he just wasn't that into you, and it wasn't that hard for him to find someone else.

  17. Wasn’t intended towards guys specifically, as it go both ways but also as he begged me to stay in the first place and not waste my time.. which he did so it was confusing

  18. It was just the guy you chose who does this.. it's not a common thing all guys do. Maybe do some internal work as to why you are attracted to these types if you are really dying for an answer.

  19. While I also agree with the people saying it’s not a man woman thing I’ve also heard that because women take the appropriate amount of time to recover they get over things faster than men. Your ex is likely going to carry his baggage into this new relationship where it’ll cause new problems.

  20. I don’t know. Sounds like he just didn’t wanna tell you “ I’m not into you anymore “. I’m not 100% over the lady who took my virginity 5 years ago when I was 17

  21. Bruh an ex did that to me once, I believe hes tryna lay you down without telling you why he rlly wants to break up. My ex said school and he needs to work on himself etc. and i was j like i better see your ass in Harvard then

  22. It’s men and women, honestly in my opinion it just means they were not into it the same depth as you. I literally did this to someone or at least very close to it. Later on in life someone did this to me. I feel your pain and I’m sorry you have to deal with this

  23. Some do this on purpose to force themselves to move on faster. That way they get past you, and stop hurting faster, and sometimes they want to do it especially fast because you were so important to them. Or he was just saying “I don’t really love you like that, and I wasn’t really that interested” in a more subtle way.

  24. People of all genders do this. “I don’t want to be in a relationship” usually means “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” It’s shitty but it is what it is. All I can advise you to do is move on the best you can. Focus on taking care of yourself and do what makes you happy. You’ve got a whole life ahead of you, with better romance opportunities.

  25. Some people lie, simple as that. They're afraid of being responsible for their actions. They were trying something with someone else and they prefer the other person because sometimes people like to have backup plans. If that person said no, they were trying with us, still. That's shitty from them.

  26. He moved on mentally a long time ago. He was just pretending. This seems to be a misconception. I think people have already moved on by that point. they are just looking for a better reason to leave than “I got bored sorry”. In truth, it’s not your fault. Things just don’t work out sometimes and people are cowards. Sorry this happened to you. Be strong 💪

  27. This is almost verbatim what people with avoidant attachment will say (and do.) In all likelihood the stability/permanence of his relationship with you felt threatening or claustrophobic, but he enjoys the limerence of a new relationship.

  28. This person was not into it. Dragged you on cause he benefited from something. I apologize, that’s not a good feeling. You’re better off without him, and this will be one of the best lessons you learn.

  29. This isnt a gendered behavior trait. This is something that happens when one person is happy in the relationship, and the other is not, and they arent communicating.

  30. In this case he probably realized he isnt actually ready for a commitment. And him breaking up with you was the best course of action. You dont wanna be in a relationship with someone incapable of commitment and then ended up cheated on a countless number of times like I just experienced. If dude wants to fuck then dude wants to fuck. Rejection hurts but its better that you both have the opportunity to freely pursue what you actually want

  31. Wow sorry to hear that, does sound horrible but you got your experience and learned from it hopefully amd maybe not the best way but makes you stronger wish the best

  32. We use terms to make ourselves feel better about a situation that we want to escape from. This guy did exactly that to you. I'd imagine he felt it was the best way to escape his current relationship without any guilt, and then move on when he felt that enough time has passed.

  33. tbh man you can’t really do much about it - its not a problem with you as much as it was a problem with his personality and characteristics.

  34. Some people when they break up with their partner go through a process of detachment beforehand as they are working out whether they want to end the relationship or not. It can result in them "getting over" the relationship emotionally before they have actually broken up with the other person.

  35. Why do women? It's simply a thing called being human, some people move on faster, it depends on how the connection was. If they genuinely didn't feel right in the relationship don't expect them to wait half a year out of respect for you or anything, because they're looking out for themselves the second the relationship is off. It's how people should act sometimes, we linger too much on the past, instead of putting it behind us. He also probably lied about the relationships aren't a thing part, that's either him being a dick, or him being ashamed/scared to hurt your feelings.

  36. I don't know. It's been 3,5 years and just found someone that I care for again. If this one doesn't work out my broken heart may need a bigger break next...

  37. It’s not just a guy thing. Some people just move on faster than others. This is a “it’s not you, it’s me” kind of thing people say when they’re not feeling the relationship is going anywhere. Suck it up and move on. Don’t try to over think it.

  38. Maybe he’s telling the truth but someone going to work on themselves and then going official with someone a month later seems to point towards him just not being truthful and it’s not unreasonable he may have already had feeling for this other girl. It’s awful and it happens. My advice is checkout

  39. Some people just don’t work for each other, you are probably a lovely wonderful person who will meet someone who loves and cherishes you every day. He most likely just didn’t feel it for you anymore, which is ok, it hurts and doesn’t feel fair especially when you cared about him, but there isn’t anything you can really do about it.

  40. Sometimes people just don’t know how to say they’re not interested in you or they’re interested in someone else

  41. Not a men only thing. Women do this too. When someone move on fast it usually mean that there was a possible overlap between the old relationship and new relationship. At the same time, men barely think before getting into relationships, so that may be it.

  42. it depends on the person tbh but for me, when a special ex broke up eith me i dated other girls just to fill the gap that she left. i didnt move on inwas still wanting her but the way i would cope is to be with someone else so i wouldnt be alone

  43. he has either been unsure about his emotions, didn't know how to break it to you, or genuinely worked on himself in a really short time

  44. I can’t speak for all Guys but me an my ex have been over about 2 mouths an I still love her so not all guys are the same

  45. i’m sorry:( i can imagine how that must feel. sometimes people heal their wounds by getting into a relationship. it’s wrong and selfish but it doesn’t have anything to do w you

  46. I’m sorry. You’ve got this stay strong 💪!Everyone’s experience is subjective. Sometimes from the outside it looks like somebody is fine but inside they’re dying. I can’t speak for him oc. But don’t worry about him or his feelings. Tend to yourself and shower yourself with love and compassion and understanding

  47. When they say the need time to work on themselves, but after a week that person is with another person, he or she wasn't into you in the first place ... I learned that the hard way.

  48. Your ex decided the relationship was over before you even knew. They already moved on and you were left holding the bag. It sucks but it happens.

  49. Some people are just like that. Dwelling on it and trying to learn how and why will only hurt you, though. It won’t bother them or change anything.

  50. My girlfriend of a year broke up with me a month ago, it’s heartbreaking. Not all of us are the same just like women aren’t all the same. I bet it hurts that he’s seeing someone else I know that feeling but don’t just assume all guys are like that

  51. Doesn’t mean this new person is “better” than you. They might let him get away with more bad behaviour, not challenge him to be a better person etc. Clearly he is not honest and shies away at speaking his truth, do you really want to be with someone like that anyways? I know it’s hard but focus on yourself.

  52. That’s true. I don’t want to look forward to someone like that in any way and yes it is hard but though I will have to get over it eventually

  53. You got yourself a playboy they generally use that reason to break up when they find someone boring, there's many playgirls I have seen who are damn attractive and leave bois after 4 weeks of dating. Its everywhere!

  54. Sounds like he was already over you when y’all broke up. Most likely, he used that excuse to break up with you so he can hurry up and get with that other girl. Sounds like 🗑 tbh

  55. Well if he’s anything like me he emotionally detached himself long before the relationship ended and needs someone to distract himself from the change in his life, and for the sake of my faith in humanity I really hope he isn’t.

  56. My ex girlfriend did this about a month ago. Took me a couple weeks to realize that regardless of the gender or situation, people will always do this and I can partly understand why. As people we gotta put ourselves first. You should do the same and move on.

  57. I mean my ex fiance got pregnant with another guy 5 days after we called it off so doesn't seem restricted to guys in my anecdotal experience

  58. It’s not just us men. I had an ex girlfriend who started dating and flirting with other men the day after I broke up with her.

  59. Not really a gender based thing. My girlfriend and I broke up a while ago and while I talk to girls I don’t really want to pursue anything with anyone. Whilst she did. Shit just happens.

  60. It’s not that he moved on it’s that he’s had this planned for a while and 1 was never interested or 2 lost interest not your fault but it happens. In my case I had lost interest in the person I was with and coincidentally at the same time I had met someone else so it made the transition a lot easier

  61. My ex broke up with me after 3 years and had a new relation in less than a month. Most guys I know were a total mess after their break up. I think that this isn't really a boy/girl thing, but more of a personal thing

  62. Once the relationship is broken off, people can do whatever they want with other people, it's no longer any of your business what he's doing with his life, this might suck to hear but you should be glad he had the nerve to tell you instead of cheating an letting you come out of the relationship horribly, a lot of people these days don't give that courtesy, but there's nothing to "wtf" over except for why tf do you think you should be all up in his business?

  63. Op this isn't as clear cut as "why do boys move on faster th-". There are girls who do this too. In fact, anyone has the capacity to do this. It's different person to person. Some people physically move on but think back later on, some people take a long time to grieve a relationship. Whatever your dynamic was and what he thought about you is unique to your relationship, but maybe you'll meet people who feel the same way.

  64. It's most likely a coping mechanism. Maybe like a backup. It's a pretty shit thing to do and not healthy at all, and it isn't just men. Hate to break it, but

  65. Both genders do this, and not a single one of them can give a single reason as to why or how they do this. Every situation is different, not one single relationship is 100% the same. In your case, it sounds like he was already uninterested in the relationship, you might mot have been the one he was looking for, etc. I'm sorry you're going through this but you may never know the real answer.

  66. Sounds like that particular relationship wasn't for him, he found something else but didn't want to cheat

  67. I’m so sorry OP but it sounds as though he didn’t really like you. That’s not to say you’re not worth loving. It just wasn’t meant to be. You are worthy of love. ❤️

  68. He never liked you, was just tryna smash, and was probably talking to other girls the entire time. You don’t move on and be already dating someone in a month if you actually had feelings and liked someone else lol.

  69. Let time do its thing. It’s important to let yourself grieve. Some days are harder than others but each day gets a little better, hurts less and less. Skies will start clearing up and you’ll notice a night and day difference in your life. Just make sure you take care of yourself, be nice to yourself.

  70. Lol I had a ex that found a new guy 4 days later on Christmas Eve, her response was she only saw us as friends so she didn't see a issue with talking to him during our relationship.

  71. Personally i find the easiest way to get over someone is to just work on yourself till someone else comes along. Which could be fast or slow

  72. That’s not just “guys” I am a guy and my ex girlfriend moved on within in days, it’s has nothing to do with what sex they are it has to do if that individual has issues with being alone. Some people NEED attention and cannot be alone with themselves because they don’t want to deal with themselves. IMO

  73. yup same thing happened to me and now he's engaged 🙄 boys suck. he probably didn't like you and just used that as a excuse

  74. Generally the person initiating the breakup has already long accepted that things are over, they have had time to work through the loss of the relationship and therefore seems like they are onto a new relationship faster. Also he very well could have just been lying about his reasoning to make the ending more smooth, and he could have already been interested in that person.

  75. The truth is that he just wasn't interested in you. If he really needed to work on himself, then he wouldn't be in another relationship so soon unless some really gorgeous girl just randomly started hitting on him.

  76. The person that told you this was already interested in pursuing other people when they told you. “Relationships aren’t for me” usually = “this relationship isn’t for me”

  77. It goes both way to be fair. Someone dudes end up dumped and the girl is on to the next one. I used to think girls were more likely to juggle potential prospects in their mind, and were prone to switching between guys more than guys would do with girls. But it probably turns out that boys or girls would be capable of doing it. It depends on where they are emotionally in the relationship before the breakup?

  78. it's honestly a bullshit thing to say. I've had the urge to say that but really it's an excuse so I've always gone to being honest. Sometimes the spark just isn't there anymore and he feels like he's trapped. Aka he is ready for a relationship just not your twos relationship

  79. To give you the brutal truth, it’s not hard to move on from something you were never really committed to. If he can move on that quickly then I’m afraid it’s a dead giveaway that he never really valued or cared for what you guys had in the first place.

  80. The truth is that guys will move on to the next thing that feels good. If he had not found that person, it’d be sports, games, cars, whatever… it would distract him from any pain he feels and let him enjoy his life.

  81. Sounds like he let you down gently. Break ups are brutal. But they don’t have to be. You might be pissed but The fact is the best way to break up is this way. It’s not your fault, he is figuring himself out. Which Is a nicer reason that won’t leave you spiraling and self harming. I’ve seen relationships that have bad break ups, shout out to all the girls that went on drug benders and changed their hair color to bright or dark pink after their boyfriend told them straight that they didn’t love them for XYZ.

  82. Yep.. He was just in it to get laid, maybe have a good time with you outside of the bedroom, and that was it hun. He isnt having a hard time moving on cuz he was never really with you to begin with.

  83. He just wasn’t about it and that’s ok. He could’ve been more upfront but he let you know he wasn’t interested in so many words

  84. In general, men's brains are larger, but have the same number of neurons, so the neurons are farther apart. This could be the reason.

  85. Honestly I think to wear make up for themselves bc it make them feel better and/or more confident, now the amount she puts on is the amount she think she may feel good in, even if she exaggerates with a “ton” but yeah there could be many other reasons if she also not happy with her appearance and think she need it etc.

  86. He didn't move on, he just didn't care in the first place. If a guy breaks up with you and then moves on within a year, he didn't care about you.

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