pdawes


























  1. Depends on the therapist I think. Mine is a sensorimotor therapist so even the slightest bodily change is very much a part of it.

  2. I don’t know this side of the mental health world that much but I know there’s something called Persistent Demand Avoidance that can be correlated with selective mutism and might be worth looking into.

  3. I have always had a skewed, naively optimistic sense of this since my mom had me at 45 and my older brother at 39. Throughout most of my adult life all of the women I dated were educated coastal types in their early/mid-20s throughout our relationships and not seriously thinking about it. It just wasn’t on my radar at all.

  4. Yes this is mostly what I meant. I’ve been in a pretty bad place recently and starting to think I’m not going to be prepared enough to handle it ever. I think maybe the best way to learn to handle it is just to do it.

  5. If I were you I would express this exact concern and the reasoning behind it to your therapist. It's not blunt to share how you're feeling with your therapist. Urgency and hopelessness are both big trauma feelings, and working through them could be a very helpful part of the process.

  6. It comes back for me. If it's bad enough I'm like "oh no the whole relationship has been a long, steep lie!" and be convinced we're gonna break up and I've come back from that multiple times.

  7. It really helps me a lot to be asked how I'm feeling. Like if I'm doing something weird or seem distressed; a lot of people's first instinct is to "fix" it or react or ask in a pointed way like "what's wrong?" "are you mad?" etc.

  8. When I needed to, I have gone the lying route with great success. One time I listed a fake contact that was really a google voice number that I had control over; I was gonna do an accent/voice if someone called. Another time I had a friend pretend to be an old boss at a place I never worked.

  9. I had a therapist tell me this even. Apparently I was just "Over-identifying with the past" and needed to stop thinking about it yeah dude NO SHIT

  10. Pho '79, specifically the one in St Paul.

  11. Social media was IMO always cancer. But MySpace was kind of cool, in that it gave you the ability to create and share. People hasn’t figured out how to make money with it yet (or use algorithms to manipulate you) so it really felt like a little village. Same with blogs; I miss blogs.

  12. It’s so funny, seeing this and remembering the Snowden affair.

  13. I wonder if “muh nothing to hide” still applies

  14. forget there's a ball, and focus on the light - anything the light hits will cast a shadow - shadows are as much a part of the light as the actual stream of photons - there are cast shadows, and there are form shadows, and each behave differently - you aren't observing carefully enough until you see the difference between them - the ball is also as much the sphere as it is what's behind the sphere - you can't really draw without being aware of negative space, you'll only be faking it - imagine a frame around the ball, large enough to hold the key elements, the sphere, the shadows, the surface, and the background -

  15. This is the way for sure. I leveled up my drawing so much just by thinking of it as capturing how light would fall on objects rather than objects. You can even passively get better at this by looking at stuff, not even drawing it.

  16. I find gaming in general less appealing but a lot of the open world stuff just feels like work now. “You can ride around and do missions to pay bills and get married!” gee thanks

  17. I’m a night owl. I don’t really get tired til 1 or 2AM

  18. Good luck bud I couldn’t sleep for about 3.5 weeks after Covid. I was tired as shit but still couldn’t fall asleep until 5 am every night without fail, thought I was goin crazy.

  19. Same thing happened to me. I'm back to normal now.

  20. I had a lot of trouble sleeping (basically just could not get tired or in sleep mode no matter what I did) for almost a month after having COVID. It did get better but my sleep cycle was all screwed up for the duration. I did not find the sleep hygiene recommendations helped at all; if anything I had better luck sleeping when I brought my laptop in bed with me. I am 100% better now.

  21. I am so sorry you went through this. I had an ex who attempted suicide multiple times and one of them I was up all night trying to keep her alive as she stopped breathing over and over again, which was extremely frightening, although not nearly as violent as your experience. It’s normal to be profoundly affected by this, and it’s good that you are getting help. It will be ok in the long run.

  22. Highly recommend! I've been seeing a primarily sensorimotor therapist for about 14 months, also for childhood trauma and relationship issues (as well as acute relational trauma from DV) and it's been very helpful. Really working for me. I didn't have a ton of body connection or awareness of sensations when I first started either but oh boy do I have them now. Sensorimotor is body based in a sense, but incorporates other approaches as well. Compared to something like Somatic Experiencing which is more about moving through bodily sensations as the primary mode of therapy.

  23. Simply piss all over the toilet seat instead of wasting time lifting it up or down

  24. I could be wrong but I don't think talking to a therapist or counselor means that the crime has to be reported unless it's a situation where someone's actively in danger (or a minor is in a dangerous/abusive/neglectful environment). Your confidentiality comes first. If you're talking about (content warning)

  25. Personally, I couldn’t make it through the body keeps the score. It seemed clinically callous to me personally and was very triggering. I know it gets recommended a lot, but it wasn’t useful for me. I learned that stuff through YouTube videos and reading different articles and stuff instead.

  26. Van Der Kolk is famously a colossal asshole. I saw him speak at a seminar once and he came across as very arrogant and not all that careful towards traumatized people.

  27. It is worth pursuing IMO. I'm not sure letting sleeping dogs lie is an actual option; the stuff tends to creep back into your life (or onto your loved ones) on a long enough timeline. It's just tricky to find help unfortunately. A lot of therapists can be shitty and invalidating, or not really equipped to handle these issues, on top of the normal challenges of finding a therapist that fits.

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