First things first: you owe no one a reason for wanting to manage this. Doing it to improve your appearance is more than reasonable, if that’s a key motivator for you.
Definitely agree with the top comment - gestational diabetes should not mean a calorie deficit. From the sounds of it there’s plenty of things she can switch out before even considering that.
But, judging by the post OOP isn't willing to do that, unfortunately. If the doctor actually told her to eat at a deficit/lose weight, I strongly suspect she's obese, even morbidly obese. I notice OOP claims to be "perfectly healthy", but doesn't mention her weight. I'll bet if she weren't, she would've added "and I'm not overweight, I weigh just xxx pounds".
Oh for sure, I’ve been close to 260lbs and she sounds like my old excuses. Switching was the only thing that worked for me to stay in a deficit and be full. One of those “I don’t eat a lot so I guess this is just how I’m supposed to look” obese people, when the not a lot was cooked in lots of oil, or had plenty of syrup in it, or was a muffin, which I never counted as a meal, because if it’s not filling it can’t be much, right?
She’s clearly not engaged in the planning as she has a problem with every single part of it, but I imagine whichever one of you that comes out and says she shouldn’t be part of the bridal party will get stick from your family.
Bare minimum he’s fully sexualized the word and that’s why he’s uncomfortable. I honestly don’t have anything more to help on that other than to suggest him going to therapy. I’ve slept with men who like that in bed and happen to be fathers as well and they’ve never been uncomfortable with either because they mean 2 separate things entirely. You should be concerned he’s conflating sexual terminology with your toddler. That’s not normal.
It’s totally normal these days. Before you’re a parent most people probably only hear “Daddy” in the media if it wasn’t what they called their own Dad - and I mean all media, not just porn.
Seriously how do parents not check in with the other before teaching the kids what to call them? You’d do it for a grandparent, and at least in our country there are a lot of variations to choose from for parents as well. This is the name their child is going to call them, possibly for the rest of their life.
Are Mia’s sole negative qualities her body size and insecurity OR is Mia an asshole outside of body size and insecurity? Being in a larger body and insecure describes 50-80% of women. If it’s just that, YTA
I’d say Mia announcing she was a bridesmaid without being invited, and vetoing every dress the rest of the party was happy with (especially considering she wasn’t even asked to be one of the party) were both negative traits.
For real? I would be ecstatic if I got a gift I wanted as a kid but never got. If my SO got me sock em boppers it would make my Christmas. Not because I would really be able to use it as an adult, (unless we have kids) but it would be very thoughtful in my opinion. But this is one of those things where to each their own.
NTA I was reading that post hoping that they’d redeem themselves with a double prank, and that some of the gifts that had been gifted to other people (that you opened the wrappings for) were really yours all along.
Fact is your parents are willing to go to court to avoid detriment to your daughter’s education (moving to Spain has a lot of cons for a 13 year old who may not know the language fully).
NTA - that she’s annoyed you changed it suggests she wanted to share a name with her niece, and in her world likely sees that you’ve taken than from her.
The fact that OP is whining about buying period products told me all I needed to know. FFS. I am a grown ass adult and wonder if OP is really anticipating the cost of things when giving the allowance or just thinking, "this is how much she should spend." Last time I bought monthly supplies, I had major sticker shock.
Exactly. It just seems like something isn't connecting and some information is missing. If daughter is getting $400/month for all her wants/needs, that's one thing, but I am guessing it's not quite so generous or they would have said what it was.
Black/herbal tea: Any time of day, if I think I’m hungry outside of plan I have a long drink of low calorie squash or a cuppa. I don’t include these in my calorie count for the day as they’re negligible, and I’d rather have plenty of fluids I enjoy than feel restricted in that.
I understand it wasn't a solution in this situation which is why I didn't push the issue with Matt, and I paid for the book. But I was more so defending myself here against the argument that an audiobook was a lower quality option, or like offering a scooter instead of a car, etc. I was defending that this wasn't my intent when offering an audiobook, not trying to argue that a deaf person would like one.
Why is an audiobook less quality? From what I'm reading a braille book is only expensive because there's not many places that make them, not because it's using 24k gold leaf paper or something. An audiobook is a great experience and different readers will have their own vocal qualities that can make the book even better to experience that way. I enjoy audiobooks over print books. Plus I can't even imagine how long it takes to read a book when it's all a bunch of dots and you have to touch each individual one. I don't think it was lesser quality that was the issue, more so that his partner has trouble hearing so audiobooks are a no go.
Not judging but if this is the only reason you could always change your surname to your maternal family name if you actually would want kids in general.
First things first: you owe no one a reason for wanting to manage this. Doing it to improve your appearance is more than reasonable, if that’s a key motivator for you.
Yeah since I saw "both families want me to stay married" like wtf.
You’d be surprised.
Definitely agree with the top comment - gestational diabetes should not mean a calorie deficit. From the sounds of it there’s plenty of things she can switch out before even considering that.
But, judging by the post OOP isn't willing to do that, unfortunately. If the doctor actually told her to eat at a deficit/lose weight, I strongly suspect she's obese, even morbidly obese. I notice OOP claims to be "perfectly healthy", but doesn't mention her weight. I'll bet if she weren't, she would've added "and I'm not overweight, I weigh just xxx pounds".
Oh for sure, I’ve been close to 260lbs and she sounds like my old excuses. Switching was the only thing that worked for me to stay in a deficit and be full. One of those “I don’t eat a lot so I guess this is just how I’m supposed to look” obese people, when the not a lot was cooked in lots of oil, or had plenty of syrup in it, or was a muffin, which I never counted as a meal, because if it’s not filling it can’t be much, right?
This gives me flashbacks to dinner as a kid: “don’t waste anything, there’s people starving in the world who would be grateful”
She’s clearly not engaged in the planning as she has a problem with every single part of it, but I imagine whichever one of you that comes out and says she shouldn’t be part of the bridal party will get stick from your family.
Bare minimum he’s fully sexualized the word and that’s why he’s uncomfortable. I honestly don’t have anything more to help on that other than to suggest him going to therapy. I’ve slept with men who like that in bed and happen to be fathers as well and they’ve never been uncomfortable with either because they mean 2 separate things entirely. You should be concerned he’s conflating sexual terminology with your toddler. That’s not normal.
It’s totally normal these days. Before you’re a parent most people probably only hear “Daddy” in the media if it wasn’t what they called their own Dad - and I mean all media, not just porn.
Seriously how do parents not check in with the other before teaching the kids what to call them? You’d do it for a grandparent, and at least in our country there are a lot of variations to choose from for parents as well. This is the name their child is going to call them, possibly for the rest of their life.
Are Mia’s sole negative qualities her body size and insecurity OR is Mia an asshole outside of body size and insecurity? Being in a larger body and insecure describes 50-80% of women. If it’s just that, YTA
I’d say Mia announcing she was a bridesmaid without being invited, and vetoing every dress the rest of the party was happy with (especially considering she wasn’t even asked to be one of the party) were both negative traits.
When did she announce herself? I thought it was the family who insisted that she be a bridesmaid.
In the edit SIL and MIL told the family gathering that she was going to be a bridesmaid without OP ever asking
For real? I would be ecstatic if I got a gift I wanted as a kid but never got. If my SO got me sock em boppers it would make my Christmas. Not because I would really be able to use it as an adult, (unless we have kids) but it would be very thoughtful in my opinion. But this is one of those things where to each their own.
I mean yeah. If my husband spent that much money on something for me without knowing it was something I still wanted, I’d be pissed as hell.
Luckily Bratz dolls cost $20 new; even if he got an unopened one on eBay it wasn’t that much, not sure what he’s talking about really.
Oh yeah just took a look for myself. The three figures ones aren’t the norm so if he’s saying £20 - £30 quid broke the bank he’s got bigger problems.
The whole Shane/screwing Shane/screwing Mer with the 3D printer storyline for me.
NTA - your child comes first and they aren’t comfortable doing it. That’s enough.
NTA - you’ve given her fair warning. Her fault if she doesn’t listen or take you seriously.
NTA I was reading that post hoping that they’d redeem themselves with a double prank, and that some of the gifts that had been gifted to other people (that you opened the wrappings for) were really yours all along.
Why would you get downvoted?
Some people irrationally downvote anything Bailey related unless it’s negative against her.
I’ve re-uploaded the post to my wall, I don’t know how to use Reddit properly so I’m not sure where else I should put it or how.
Fact is your parents are willing to go to court to avoid detriment to your daughter’s education (moving to Spain has a lot of cons for a 13 year old who may not know the language fully).
How she treated Amelia for simply not being Derek.
I know this would have gone against the narrative of the show, but how she down right would not even consider following Derek to DC.
And he wasn’t?
NTA - that she’s annoyed you changed it suggests she wanted to share a name with her niece, and in her world likely sees that you’ve taken than from her.
INFO: did you have this argument in front of the kids? Did they witness the whining and you telling her to shut up?
The fact that OP is whining about buying period products told me all I needed to know. FFS. I am a grown ass adult and wonder if OP is really anticipating the cost of things when giving the allowance or just thinking, "this is how much she should spend." Last time I bought monthly supplies, I had major sticker shock.
Good point.
Exactly. It just seems like something isn't connecting and some information is missing. If daughter is getting $400/month for all her wants/needs, that's one thing, but I am guessing it's not quite so generous or they would have said what it was.
If she saved up from her allowance to get a present for niece, betting nowhere near
She wants her mom there & she will be…it was stated in the post..
Edit came in after
Yes, I'd wonder why ask that, for god sakes.
Practically speaking, a reasonable person would ask to try and plan a back up birthing partner - should the father not be on hand.
He went back on a promise because the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES called and offered him a job.
Paragraph 1: he reneged on the deal before the President even came into it. He reneged when he was working on the sensors to begin with.
IKR!!!
I was so glad when Arizona shut down that train of thought in its tracks
Black/herbal tea: Any time of day, if I think I’m hungry outside of plan I have a long drink of low calorie squash or a cuppa. I don’t include these in my calorie count for the day as they’re negligible, and I’d rather have plenty of fluids I enjoy than feel restricted in that.
I understand it wasn't a solution in this situation which is why I didn't push the issue with Matt, and I paid for the book. But I was more so defending myself here against the argument that an audiobook was a lower quality option, or like offering a scooter instead of a car, etc. I was defending that this wasn't my intent when offering an audiobook, not trying to argue that a deaf person would like one.
I can read and would never accept an audiobook as a sub for one of my hard copies, especially not a favourite.
Why is an audiobook less quality? From what I'm reading a braille book is only expensive because there's not many places that make them, not because it's using 24k gold leaf paper or something. An audiobook is a great experience and different readers will have their own vocal qualities that can make the book even better to experience that way. I enjoy audiobooks over print books. Plus I can't even imagine how long it takes to read a book when it's all a bunch of dots and you have to touch each individual one. I don't think it was lesser quality that was the issue, more so that his partner has trouble hearing so audiobooks are a no go.
An audiobook is a great experience - in your opinion. Not everyone has the some views on them.
Are you a virgin yourself? If you’re not, it’s a double standard and no wonder people are put off.
Not judging but if this is the only reason you could always change your surname to your maternal family name if you actually would want kids in general.