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My thoughts on recent article about SIDS marker

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  1. My older sister got diagnosed first as an adult and didn’t tell me. When I got diagnosed she thought it must be a mistake because “I didn’t struggle at all”. Ha. She couldn’t see what I wouldn’t show her and I learned how to mask way younger than her because it seemed necessary to avoid the struggles she faced. My struggle is different, but it’s there.

  2. I’m a younger sibling too. None of us were diagnosed as kids, but my mom suspected it for my sister and not me. The “I learned how to mask way younger to avoid the struggles she faced” hit soooo hard. My parents always said I didn’t struggle because I learned from her mistakes…I really just learned how to hide it. This makes a lot of sense now.

  3. Same! I’ve been using the You Need A Budget app and I was surprised to find that not only does it help curb sprees I can’t afford, it encourages me to not cut back on important things like home maintenance, because I’ve already budgeted money for it, and so it’s allowed!

  4. Ooooh man the dopamine from those little green bars and check marks does something to me.

  5. Apparently, other people don’t just involuntarily read every sign that is put in front of them.

  6. What. How do you just not read things?

  7. Ouch. I don’t like this level of self awareness.

  8. I’m on day 3 and each day has been different! The first day was positive, second day pretty terrible, today has been the best but it’s 5 pm and I can feel it wearing off already.

  9. Going through the “HOLD UP I THINK I HAVE ADHD THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH” phase. How do you get people to believe you or get diagnosed when you’ve been automatically covering up or overcompensating for your symptoms for so long? It seems very clear to me that I have ADHD, but family and friends think that’s ridiculous because I got good grades in school, was quiet and well-behaved, etc. And as an adult, all the MESS (physical and metaphorical haha) is pretty much contained to my home and my head. With a lot of effort and stress and private breakdowns, I appear pretty “normal” most of the time. But reading about symptoms (especially those more often affecting women) has been like lightbulb after lightbulb going off. Do I need a different therapist from the one I currently see for anxiety? I feel like I’ve even subconsciously maintained a nice non-ADHD coverup to her all along.

  10. I just got diagnosed today. Psychologist said next steps are to continue therapy and consider trialing meds to see if they help with symptoms. With my insurance ‘meds’ means adderall. So I guess my question is what symptoms do you find the meds help with the most?

  11. I couldn’t figure out why my cabinet smelled for the longest time. Then one day I got a craving for waffles which I hadn’t had in at least 6 months. Got out my waffle maker and found a waffle so moldy it corroded metal.

  12. Couldn’t bring myself to do assignments, especially reading and analysis assignments. I couldn’t form an actual opinion on random topics bc I was so disinterested that my brain was on “it is what it is, I cannot think more of it” mode in those subjects. I had nothing to say about the characters’ decisions in the book lmao. Forcing myself to do these assignments was hell ngl (unmedicated)

  13. Ahhhhhh I always just thought I didn’t have my own opinions on things but maybe it’s just that I have zero interest in it. Now I need to think on this the rest of the day and reevaluate my whole life.

  14. Highly recommend you need a budget (they have a free trial for 34 days I think!)

  15. I WANT TO GET OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED BUT ALSO SIMULTANEOUSLY TERRIFIED BECAUSE WHAT IF ITS NOT ADHD AND THEN I JUST CONTINUE THINKING THIS IS ALL IN MY HEAD. WHERE DO I GO FROM HEREEEEE

  16. My neuropsychological diagnostician told me that part of the reason my ADHD went undiagnosed for so long and even my own therapist didn’t think I had it was because of a combination of intelligence and anxiety. I developed a mild anxiety disorder since childhood as a way to keep my ADHD in check. The only ways I could do well in school or at work was out of hyperfocus or sheer panic at a deadline. My disproportionate fears of losing things, saying the wrong thing, getting hurt, getting in trouble or making any major mistake led to depression and that’s when I finally got the anxiety diagnosed.

  17. Oh, we are the same person. Add in an unhealthy dose of toxic positivity and I am the embodiment of the meme where the dog is drinking coffee with fire all around saying “this is fine” and I truly never saw the problems because I just learned to suppress all the red flags so my anxiety wouldn’t skyrocket. I start therapy this week for the first time.

  18. Omg that meme is SUCH a good representation for what my life was like in college and grad school.

  19. Thank you! Right now it just feels like everything is crashing down but I think that’s kind of the first step. I need to acknowledge what is actually happening.

  20. Lakenheath shares base housing with RAF Feltwell and RAF Mildenhall as well. The central housing office is located on Lakenheath, but I believe you can be offered housing at any of the three bases. We were there in 2018 and at that point they were shutting down the base housing right outside the Lakenheath gate, so I think the three I mentioned are the only houses areas offered now.

  21. They usually do direct debit from a bank account. There is a US bank on base that has a separate British account attached to it and I think they can set up allotments to go from your dollar account to your pounds account (not sure on the specifics there because we went with the other option…)

  22. Isn’t that the thing about risk though? Just because you are high risk does not mean something will happen, just that it is more likely to happen. Driving is an inherently high risk activity, yet most people who drive on a daily basis are fine.

  23. One of the YNAB YouTube videos mentioned a category called hospitality. I think that would go well here

  24. What is the difference? I’ve only been on YNAB a month…I’m assuming I’m on the new YNAB? is there a way to switch?

  25. Same situation. MilTax said we did not qualify for a credit and I couldn’t figure out why. Turbo tax said we did (and I agree). $1860 difference. I paid $49 for audit protection just for peace of mind (we also had a PCS and home purchase in 2021…it was a lot to fill out.)

  26. Audit protection doesn't actually protect you from an audit.

  27. I realize that. Just wanted to have the extra representation in case of an audit would be a better way to word that.

  28. Opposite situation here. Bought our house in 2021 and the most recent sale is when the previous owner bought it. Same with several other houses on our street that I know have sold within the past few years. It also doesn’t list any sale prices.

  29. PIN is only required for cash back, otherwise it can be run as credit.

  30. I have a toddler and a second one coming in, so after reading the title I already enthusiastically started to formulate how to set everything up before the morning nap, put them in bed, jump on your bike and pray they sleep long enough to do a meaningful workout - but that's not at all what you mean!

  31. Feeling like I found a parenting hack this week when I learned my 5 and 2 year old will watch tv (and not bother me) long enough for me to get a ride in during the day. It is some magical phase because until this, I was trying to sneak in nap time rides as well!

  32. Yes. I’m not sure of how much off the top of my head, but I know he is enrolled.

  33. Make sure it’s atleast 5% minimum. Also check which fund he’s putting money into- don’t want any G fund at least not at your age currently.

  34. He’s under the old retirement system. Does it still get matched at 5%? I feel like that’s what it’s set at now.

  35. What's next? Mississippi? Sheesh! When will this end?

  36. We bought in Mississippi in Nov 2021. Bidding wars on three houses, one has 15 offers. These are for your pretty standard quality 3/2 1500-1800 sqft houses. We finally got a FSBO with our fourth offer. It’s crazy times everywhere.

  37. I’d put it under Needs if it’s something you intend to prioritize…which on a subscription service it sounds like you would definitely NEED the money for it.

  38. I had a black oven with a small stainless trim and replacing my failed black refrigerator with stainless and it was a pretty big change. But not every house sells with a refrigerator. It’s a seller’s market I’m not sure you have to upgrade- let the new owners do it.

  39. Ha, we are the new owners. Hence why we bought it with the old appliances.

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