ibeeliot

I tend to handle these situations with levity - everytime they're laughing, just add "I must be getting better at my comedic timing. X is having a riot every time." and if it embarrasses them, then so be it. If it doens't, then great. Let the laughs be part of the background and others can pick it up as weird if they haven't already. if it becomes too much, just stop and pause and wait for the laughter to finish. Then speak up and say "alright, let me move on." It'll become obvious that it's annoying and others might jump in and pick up on it, too.

Is it an exact recreation of the famous Bruce Lee scene?

yea

No ones erasing the past. They’re just suggesting that’s weird to live in the past to this degree. Also, how do we even know the ex lover consented to her keeping and viewing the video? That’s creepy af

I think you're not being nuanced enough. Imagine this salacious video as if you would a wholesome family video - sometimes the brain for some people will chalk up a loss of this video with its memories as a the same as a loss with a wholesome family video. brains aren't as simplistic as binary code and so you can't just dismiss an entire set of mixed emotions as "obsession".

I can see how it would be hard for her to delete them, but I can see even more how hard it would be on the husband to think his wife still watches them and is soooooo upset about the idea of deleting them. At the end of the day, she should respect her husband's feelings on this and delete them. Pretty big wedge she's driving into their marriage if she doesn't, and are old sex tapes really more important than her marriage? If so, then I guess he's lucky to find out now.

Level headed comment. I can see how deleting something forever, regardless of what it is, can feel like a lost to some people - I know I would be one of those people. However, I see that in this situation, something like this can be let go because it would mean that your partner would not have any anxiety about this forever. That's just not something you want as a baseline emotion in any relationship.

Okay, the grass really is greener.

No. I’m assuming my wife is being the friendly, kind person she is and doesn’t understand our friend is lonely and not thinking with his brain so he’s just blowing right past the line.

You mean 'ex friend'. That's INSANE you wouldn't even drop this friend. Friends don't ever sexualize each other. if so, they're not friends. They're romantic interests. and that's disgusting if so. Your wife needs to go to therapy to know how to stand up for herself b/c blaming herself for this and NOT setting boundaries next time is not going to do her mental esteem any good going forward

Be professional about it - just let him know, "hey, you don't have to call keep calling my name. I know you're talking to me. And use my first name if you can." it's not weird. Just guide him to where you want to be called. Don't let him step over you. It's weird.

I couldn’t care less if a naked lady would be flirting with my partner because I’m not insecure and afraid he will dump me for the first piece of ass that shows interest in him. It’s called having a solid relationship built on trust. If anything, I’m proud of my guy if anyone hits on him, it’s a nice ego boost and everyone deserves that every once in a while. The husband wasn’t flirting back, he was just having a conversation, he did nothing wrong and the wife was blowing things out of proportion. You can keep preaching your gaslighting theory, I’m gonna go snuggle my hubby.

So you are okay with people

When you literally define flirting as having the audacity to sit down next to the husband!!!! Gasp! With no reason! Because nobody would ever want to do anything other than stand when talking to the opposite gender!!!

Why he ran towards the car 🤔🤔

The car swerved and so he had to make trigger quick reactions real time.

Wtf? Make a damn post about how crazy delusional her family is. This type of behavior was always allowed and for once she is getting actual consequences like any adult would. At 40+ you're having an affair? That's insane. You never made strides as a partner to accommodate each others level of attractions?

She probably cheated. Maybe not. Either way, she left you for 7 weeks. Yes you guys discussed it, but that's insane. Why tf would you not want to take your kids with you? That's your new life. You don't get to decide to do single stuff all of a sudden.

Firstly, I'd ask about the ink they use. Some colors do stay a lot longer.

Yes you're totally right, your blunt reply really helped me to look at this entire ordeal with better understanding and how negative their presence was and how tense I was getting every second I was spending time with all of them. Thanks a lot for your reply, and I'll really do my best not to let anyone else treat me the same as these people did.

Not only that - but literally blast them on a text/chat before going no contact. Let them know exactly how frustrated the trip was and how insanely inconsiderate K was and the rest of the group. Just say you're okay cutting losses with friends like these because the money / time / energy you wasted on these guys is a sign that it's them, not you and that your own personal life benefits from yoru clarity in planning and effort in being courteous to everybody's needs. Your friends don't understand that, and it was a waste of time wanting to enjoy a vacation with them. Wish them the best of luck and that they no longer were the kind of people you thought they were. Sad but okay. Good luck and hopefully they can work out whatever weird dependencies they have on each other's sense of self worth.

I... got a combo meal the other day. Mainly b/c I was in a new city, and I honestly didn't care.

Women/Men. Stop being bitches. Just fucking say "no, I'm not attracted to you. I don't think of you that way. I love my husband and wouldn't ever think of anybody but him. This is making our relationship weird, and I might need to rethink if we can hang out"

I wonder what goes through the ex-girlfriends head. Like you could have been married with a father figure for your daughter. Instead, she cheated. That little girl will be broken forever, and it will be because of her. I can't imagine how the truth will devastate the daughter when she's older, and it will break her all over again. That mother couldn't do the right thing, and she will continue to cheat.

People can fall out of attraction. Just because she may have found somebody she liked temporarily doesn't mean she's locked in for life with that somebody.

Why does she follow these people? Just forgive yourself and move on. It's all you can do.

<3

💘💘💘💘

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

That's the least of her concerns. You sprayed a bear and everything seemed fine.

I know I'm going to get hated on b/c this is a controversial opinion - the wife sucks balls but tbh, losing sexual attraction with somebody is a real thing. Husbands/wives get out of shape, physically, and comfortable and don't grow anymore as a person. So her lost of attraction is valid. Here's what I vehemently disagree.

Just go no contact. Jesus.

Yeah, if this is innocent banter then I'd hate to potentially ruin their marriage as well as strain my marriage bc of jealousy

You're kinda of an idiot. This isn't jealousy. This is her outright entertaining another guy clearly trying to have sex with her.

I was pretty sure he isn't just a friend. I just don't know how to deal with this now that he is not in the picture anymore.

Damn dude. Ever looked up the word "cuck"?

Thankyou so much for your advice. I also want to thank everyone else for their advices cause they actually helped me think straight instead of just acting emotional. Most of you said I should talk to her and some even said I have to file a report but dude I really really really don’t want to put any pressure on my wife. I don’t know how will she react to this whole situation , but I just know that she definitely won’t be happy. And considering the fact that she’s on her first months of pregnancy and already having many unstable stuff physically and mentally , I don’t think telling about this would be a good idea. I just don’t want to lose the most valuable thing in my life to some pathetic guy who absolutely wants it anyways

You're making a choice for both of you and your wife and your unborn child. Is that fair in retrospect? You're saying that your wife can't handle emotional stress? What about you? You're handling it. You're seeking advice. Don't belittle your wife into thinking she can't make her own adult decisions about what to do about HER REVENGE PORN VIDEO. This isn't your video, you idiot. It's her and it's her right to incriminate how you want.

Firstly, maybe you're oblivious but also maybe you thought he was unattractive and your reptilian ovaries didn't kick in overdrive and pick up the cues. It happens if you're not attracted to them and are being direct and blunt.

I'm torn because on one hand, he asked in a way that didn't seem entirely creepy despite him being creepy to even ask in the first place. And to be honest, I think he failed in his role to be a mentor if his intentions were to date you, so work wise I'm not entirely sure if this is an incident I wouldn't report.