Hey friend, I’m truly sorry to hear this. I went through the exact thing you are now. I was about 2 months sober when my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Chemo had to start ASAP with the first round being a 6 month go. It was some of the hardest news I’ve ever had to hear. My mother is the kindest person, and has “done everything right” so to speak in her life. So I was at a cross roads. On one hand, I knew I was going to be struggling more emotionally than ever, and that felt like a damn good reason to drink again. Lots of “fuck it, life clearly isn’t fair why bother” type thoughts. But I let play out in my head. If I started drinking again to deal with her diagnosis, I wouldn’t be able to be there for her to help her. Worse than that, I’d be adding to her stresses as she’d have to worry about my health and not just her own. In the end, I knew I wanted to be 100% present for whatever time is left. I want that for me, and I want that for her. She deserves to spend meaningful time with her son, and does not deserve the chaos of the alternative. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. I love you very much stranger 😊
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry about your mom. My mom is also in the “did everything right” boat so it’s extra hard to grapple with, but I guess that’s life, right? I definitely don’t want to say “fuck it” and pick up the bottle again and your response is going to help me not do that :)
I do think I’ll be able to be there for her more readily if I’m not drinking. We live far away from each other but I’m planning to go visit, so I’d rather be alert and ready to help than in some sort of drunk state. It helps to think about doing it for her, yes, thank you for that :)
Well I am having a bit of a struggle this week. My mom had a biopsy on a lump they found on Monday, and now we’re waiting for the results. I’m kind of a nervous wreck. All I can think about is how much I don’t want to lose my mom. Safe to say that I really really want to hit that wine bottle, but I’m trying not to. One day at a time, right? IWNDWYT
I’ve been struggling of late, I had a moment last night where I thought damn, I’ve had a rough summer (lots of family stuff). And then I tried to remind myself that I’m doing something wonderful for my body and mind by not drinking, and it can only make things easier if not keep them from getting worse.
Honestly the only thing I feel like I have on lockdown right now is making a good cup of coffee in the morning! Lol. But honestly I’ll take it. Sometimes when everything else is bad the little stuff really helps.
Thank you so much for this! I’m so glad you made it through that weekend, that sounds like such a challenge. It’s so frustrating when people refuse to hear “no” when it comes to not drinking, and it’s nice to interact with someone who can relate. Thank you for your comment and IWNDWYT!
The new “space” I want to create is less about creating a new positive trait but rather to take back the “space” in my day I would normally fill with alcohol. I want my afternoons and evenings back. I don’t want to wake up and only vaguely remember what I had for dinner, or what we watched on TV, or the small, meaningful interactions with my boyfriend. I want to make space for better memories (and actually remember them!) and use those to fuel a positive headspace.
Oh man I am absolutely having a rough week, my sister is in the ICU with a broken back and safe to say I’ve been stressed out of my mind. All I want to do is drink right now… but I’m not going to today. I will find another way to cope.
Boundaries are important! I am a generally boundary-less person because I’m a bit of a people pleaser, but recently I’ve found myself having firmer lines and taking less shit (specifically from family.) As each sober day passes I believe in myself a little more. IWNDWYT!
The anniversary of my dad’s death is this month. He committed suicide a few days before my 14th birthday. He was an alcoholic. Last night was a really hard night for me. But I didn’t drink, which is good, and I won’t drink again tonight. IWNDWYT
It’s been the toughest week of my whole life and I’ve managed to stay sober through it. IWNDWYT!
I am determined. IWNDWYT
Hey friend, I’m truly sorry to hear this. I went through the exact thing you are now. I was about 2 months sober when my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Chemo had to start ASAP with the first round being a 6 month go. It was some of the hardest news I’ve ever had to hear. My mother is the kindest person, and has “done everything right” so to speak in her life. So I was at a cross roads. On one hand, I knew I was going to be struggling more emotionally than ever, and that felt like a damn good reason to drink again. Lots of “fuck it, life clearly isn’t fair why bother” type thoughts. But I let play out in my head. If I started drinking again to deal with her diagnosis, I wouldn’t be able to be there for her to help her. Worse than that, I’d be adding to her stresses as she’d have to worry about my health and not just her own. In the end, I knew I wanted to be 100% present for whatever time is left. I want that for me, and I want that for her. She deserves to spend meaningful time with her son, and does not deserve the chaos of the alternative. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. I love you very much stranger 😊
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry about your mom. My mom is also in the “did everything right” boat so it’s extra hard to grapple with, but I guess that’s life, right? I definitely don’t want to say “fuck it” and pick up the bottle again and your response is going to help me not do that :)
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I do think I’ll be able to be there for her more readily if I’m not drinking. We live far away from each other but I’m planning to go visit, so I’d rather be alert and ready to help than in some sort of drunk state. It helps to think about doing it for her, yes, thank you for that :)
Well I am having a bit of a struggle this week. My mom had a biopsy on a lump they found on Monday, and now we’re waiting for the results. I’m kind of a nervous wreck. All I can think about is how much I don’t want to lose my mom. Safe to say that I really really want to hit that wine bottle, but I’m trying not to. One day at a time, right? IWNDWYT
I’ve been struggling of late, I had a moment last night where I thought damn, I’ve had a rough summer (lots of family stuff). And then I tried to remind myself that I’m doing something wonderful for my body and mind by not drinking, and it can only make things easier if not keep them from getting worse.
We can ask for help friend, Any time. Thinking of you 🙏
Thank you :)
I can’t believe I made it a whole week! IWNDWYT :)
IWNDWYT!
Good morning! My treat is all of the many flavors of La croix. I’ve been extremely hydrated of late.
My nugget of wisdom is to put sunscreen on when you go to the beach for “only 30 minutes” lol. I feel like an idiot because my legs are very burned!
That sounds lovely :)
Honestly the only thing I feel like I have on lockdown right now is making a good cup of coffee in the morning! Lol. But honestly I’ll take it. Sometimes when everything else is bad the little stuff really helps.
Thank you so much for this! I’m so glad you made it through that weekend, that sounds like such a challenge. It’s so frustrating when people refuse to hear “no” when it comes to not drinking, and it’s nice to interact with someone who can relate. Thank you for your comment and IWNDWYT!
The new “space” I want to create is less about creating a new positive trait but rather to take back the “space” in my day I would normally fill with alcohol. I want my afternoons and evenings back. I don’t want to wake up and only vaguely remember what I had for dinner, or what we watched on TV, or the small, meaningful interactions with my boyfriend. I want to make space for better memories (and actually remember them!) and use those to fuel a positive headspace.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
I made it through yesterday!! Beyond proud of myself, it was really hard. IWNDWYT!
Oh man I am absolutely having a rough week, my sister is in the ICU with a broken back and safe to say I’ve been stressed out of my mind. All I want to do is drink right now… but I’m not going to today. I will find another way to cope.
Boundaries are important! I am a generally boundary-less person because I’m a bit of a people pleaser, but recently I’ve found myself having firmer lines and taking less shit (specifically from family.) As each sober day passes I believe in myself a little more. IWNDWYT!
I’m doing it! Pretty proud of myself so far. IWNDWYT
I promise to not drink today!
Yay! IWNDWYT!
I made it through yesterday and I’ll make it through today! IWNDWYT
The anniversary of my dad’s death is this month. He committed suicide a few days before my 14th birthday. He was an alcoholic. Last night was a really hard night for me. But I didn’t drink, which is good, and I won’t drink again tonight. IWNDWYT
Damn, being a father I am so sorry that somebody so close, and special did that to you.
Thank you ❤️
I made it through yesterday! I’m going to do it again today! IWNDWYT
Having a really hard time not drinking lately so I made an account and joined this community. Hoping I can make it through today! IWNDWYT