For this project I recycled an old changing mat (white fabric) and added some printed jersey to make it look nice. The rubber band and pockets were added freehand with no real concept cause I didn't have a lot of time. I added an extra button because the first one wouldn't close when the organizer is full. It is far from perfect but I think it looks nice and since I didn't have time to sew something for some time it was a good project to get started again.
I am really annoyed how this place rn is just shaming women for their own decisions that really don't have to concern anyone else. She wears her period panties outside so she won't bleed on a chair you use in a restaurant. If she gets blood on her own pillow - who the f cares? I get shaming moms not taking their kids to the doctor. That shit harms people but free bleeding at home? Just mind your own business. Also not everybody has a heavy flow. I usually have a few drops in my pads the rest comes out when I relax to pee. Chances are she is just lucky with her flow and doesn't sit in a blood soaked pillow all day. Chill and let people live.
So I just need to get some thoughts out. I am 20 dpo and tested positive last friday and saturday. I have to wait till my first doctors appointment till oct 10th and it's a rollercoaster. I am happy for the positive tests but also really afraid. I had an ectopian last time and I can't stop thinking about the what ifs. I also have an aching stomach since yesterday that doesn't seem to get better so getting in a positive mind set is really hard. I feel all of you in the same position and hope we will all get good news soon!
For starters: yes, the daycare did a terrible job. You're right to be mad. Switch facilities. But also: Tylenol isn't for prevention. Every medication has side effects and its usage especially with small children should be limited to kids who really need it. So either your kid is sick so you don't take it to daycare. Or it's fine. So you're risking side effects for nothing. Giving Tylenol for every slight hint of a kid being unwell is a huge burden on the liver. It's not a heavy drug and I am all for medication when necessary but it's not mints either.
I am an actual patent, child care professional and anarchist. All the arguments in this post show that there isn't one right way to practice anarchist parenting or even anarchy that fits all. If we look at human development you can say that a person never stops learning but that the early years of a person are definitely more filled with learning experiences and that these experiences have a bigger impact in the long run. Also parenting consists of different responsibilities like keeping the child safe and healthy, educating them, teach them ethics and how to live in a society (and a lot more). The discussion in this thread starts with the last point. In reality we always navigate between the different responsibilities of parenting and keeping a child safe (which doesn't necessarily mean keep them away from any harm but alive and healthy) is definitely more important than anything especially with small kids that cannot care for their own health and safety. To accomplish this sometimes we have to make decisions for a child because they can't foresee the outcome of their actions. In my opinion to rise a child anarchist it is important to always question if it really is necessary to do xy. This is always accompanied by a conversation about how even if it's sometimes necessary for parents to make decisions for you it's always important to question authority even with your parents. Furthermore the use of authority must be limited to certain situations which follow transparent rules that lose its power when you have the ability to make an informed decision. For example: If a toddler doesn't want to get a diaper changed you would try to give a little more time, reason with the kid etc. If still after some time the kid refuses and the diaper is full a parent needs to change said diaper to avoid rashes (which can be really painful, get infected etc.). Everything else would be neglect. So I would still try to give options for autonomy like "Do you want me to take off the diaper or do it yourself?" But ultimately I would take off the diaper if the kid refuses everything with a dialogue like this: "I understand that you don't want me to change your diaper. It is great that you tell me what feels good to you and tell me off if you don't want something. Now see there are two rules for me: Respecting your body and keeping it healthy. A full diaper can lead to you having pain so I must change it. It is my job to keep you safe. These are the only reasons for touching your body against your will -keeping you safe and healthy. When you grow older you will learn to take care of your pee and (I don't know the child friendly english word for the other bodily product) and I won't touch these body parts without your permission. We can start practicing going to the toilet today if you want to. I will do xy now..." This of course is a very long monologue that might only fit bigger toddlers with good communication skills but you get the idea. The question should be: What can I do to raise an independent adult that is able to make informed decisions and stand up for themselves. Neglect surely isn't the way. To me more than the moments that limit a child's autonomy I think it is important to think about how a child can become more independent and this is often very hard. It's giving room to explore, to try things, sometimes to wait for an hour until a kid manages to put their short on when they insist of doing it themselves, to let them help you cooking and cleaning even if the food might take forever and the house is less clean after the "cleaning", to take time to answer the 100th why question or to admit you don't know and learn together. To admit you have been wrong if you practiced authority when it wasn't necessary. Raising kids as anarchists is actually hard work and has nothing to do with laissez-faire. It is leading by example, practicing mutual aid and a sense of community. It's admitting that you yourself aren't the end all be all and deciding to learn together everyday. Sorry if this is long and cheesy.
So much that. When I met my husband we did that on the regular. Getting high, walking to the store for snacks and soda and just wander around for a while. We would always buy too much food and try every fancy new snack or lemonade they offered. I love this memory. Now we have a toddler and do (sober) family shopping with her. Still crazy shopping but for other reasons 😂
Anyone dress their baby in a sleep sack in the bed? Mine is 2 months and even though we bedshare I’ve been putting her in a diaper and the sleep sack, all the way up to footed pyjamas and the sleep sack depending on the temperature (UK). It’s a merino wool one so is good for temperature regulation but all these answers about baby bring just in a diaper are worrying me!
We used a sleep sack till LOs second birthday. She slept better with it. When she moved to her own bed, we started PJs or diaper only according to weather and her preference so she can walk over to our bed if she wants to at night. Nothing to worry about. Different ages, temperatures and preferences need different solutions.
About 300€/313$ a month, Germany... Since this doesn't refer to the US for scale: Our monthly income is 4200€/4390$ for our household (3660€ on average in our country).
Mayve you can expand on this in a better way but I've also heard that people who constantly clean their babies faces and hands during the meal set their kids up for food anxiety later. You need to mash the shit all over you as a baby or you end up not being able to handle the textures as a toddler. I've heard of parents told to literally sit with their kids and play with food. Paint with it, smash it on your face. Just to show them that its ok to be messy and that meal times do not have to be such a stressful experience.
I generally think it's a good idea to embrace getting messy with kids. Keeping babies and toddler clean is an almost impossible task while constantly holding them back will also eliminate a lot of learning experiences and make us parents go crazy. Clothing for kids should be easy to clean, everything else can be washed away in the evening or after the specific activity. Cleaning in between is just unnecessary stress IMO
I worked in daycare for eight years prior to being a mom. I did the 5 year apprenticeship (Europe), I got my BA in social work and specialized on children and families. I am a certified parent counselor. I didn't even know what I signed up for... I love it but being a parent is just a different kind of crazy.
It is hard but it will pass. There's good advice here like baby wear or co-sleep, trying to skip one nap but in the end every baby goes through some times like this and it will get better eventually. Do what keeps you sane. If it is falling asleep in front of the tv with LO because you need some distraction while being awake the whole night (or whatever you put on your not-to-do-list) go for it. Be gentle on yourself and take whatever sleep you can get. Get help if possible. You can do it! It will get better. For the school work. You can read pretty much everything to your kid if you need to learn. For essays and such try to record your thoughts while rocking baby to sleep in a singing or calming voice and then transcribe via audio to text.
Maybe you can explain him that even if she is not having an unwanted pregnancy strict abortion laws will affect her. Tell him that she might even decide to become a mother and die because the pregnancy is ectopic and the hospital can deny to remove a bunch of nonviable cells and let her die because of the rules. Ask him what he would have done if your daughter would have died in your womb and you would have had to die to because removing a dead fetus from your body is against the law. I don't think it should be necessary to make such extreme examples to get empathy. I think it's alarming that the sole argument of bodily autonomy isn't enough. But as you put it he has no perspective of the overall female experience and he might not see how carrying a baby you don't want is traumatic in itself but he might know what it feels like losing a loved one. If that isn't enough to get to him I really think there might be a bigger issue.
Not mentioning that the lives of pregnant people are obviously not considered at all. I had an ectopic earlier this year and would be dead under those laws without even a viable fetus present to be saved. I wanted this baby so bad but it never had a chance to become a human being. On the other hand I would not have had this pregnancy at all because my husband's mother would have died of ectopic before having him too and probably my own mother also because a baby died in her womb before having me. In my workplace alone I know three women who had complications in their planned pregnancies that would have killed them (and the baby) by not being able to terminate the pregnancy. It's just scary. So many lifes that would have ended due to strict abortion laws. In many cases those women (including me) would have left behind kids and kids that followed after those incidents would never have born... How the hell can anyone think there's something pro-life about those laws.
This must be so devastating. Not being able to keep a pregnancy you wished for is cruel in itself and I had a hard time even with accurate care but having to deal with the emotional pain of losing a (potential) baby and facing the risk of death is a whole other level of fucked up.
i'm only 11 weeks into my first pregnancy but i really cannot imagine it getting much worse than weeks 4-10 of first trimester hahaha. it was TORTURE😭 now i am only vomiting maybe 3-5x a day and i actually feel lucky
I feel this. My first trimester was hell on earth but I totally loved the second when the nausea almost went away. In most cases it gets better past week 12 or 13. You're almost there!
321987465 Those first month really where terrible with a lot of nausea and not being able to keep anything in my stomach. The last trimester was okay but exhausting with all those extra pounds but I really enjoyed the second trimester because the nausea went away I was physically fit and able to be active. I would feel the kicks and hiccups of the baby and really got excited with little downsides. Also I was in the summer and could enjoy eating ice cream, going swimming and cycling and had overall a wonderful time with my husband before the baby arrived.
That's not even the worst of it, IMO. In my family, a great aunt was diagnosed with cancer pre-RvW and the doctors refused to treat her because it would harm the baby, and refused to let her abort. This was her fourth child. She gave birth and died shortly after. Her husband couldn't cope and became an alcoholic and the kids got taken away. The youngest was adopted by an aunt but the other three ended up out of state and lost contact with the family. A whole immediate family destroyed, a whole branch of our family tree lopped off, in the name of trading a complete, existing life for a possible one.
My heart is broken for all those women in the US. This will ruin so many lifes and families. I had an ectopic earlier this year and would be dead under those laws. I wanted this baby so bad but it never had a chance to become a human being. Instead my two year old would be left without her mother. On the other hand who knows if I would have a family at all because my husband's mother would have died of ectopic before having him too and probably my own mother also because a baby died in her womb before having me. We all wanted to have a baby in the exact way the conservatives preach, there are no special medical conditions who would have predicted any of this and each of us had one or two healthy babies before. My mother and mother-in-law had perfectly healthy babies after and I hope for myself to extend my family further after being saved by medicine.
When my LO turned two we already dropped the other nursing sessions and were down to nursing to sleep and night nursing only, but she was still very into it and reacted to any attempt of weaning like your kid does. I didn't want to let her cry or scream till she falls asleep from exhaustion so we tried one method I read about here on Reddit. We picked a date in the future that would be off the routine in our case her second birthday. It could also be the day grandma visits or when you go to the zoo. We talked about the date a lot and that we are so excited because then she will be a big girl and don't need milk from the boob anymore. We talked about that we know this might be a little hard but there's also something very exciting happening since she also will be allowed to finally sleep in her big girl bed. We made a book with photos of her talking about things she learned with pictures of said habit (her walking for the first time or eating puree the first time with carrot all over her face..) Then it talks about how she will turn two soon and that she will continue to learn new things like sleeping without nursing and sleeping in her big bed. It also has pictures of things she likes to do that won't change, like cuddle with her parents, playing with her toys etc... We looked at it every day for 3-4 weeks and really focused on painting a positive picture of the day with all the good things happening. When the day came she asked for nursing a few times and was a little upset but no crying or screaming. She also transitioned from co-sleeping to her own bed really well. I have to admit we changed nursing for a bottle which we still need to wean. We use oat milk but mixed it with an increasing amount of water so that now she is only drinking warm water with probably a few drops of oat milk for the color to reduce sugar. For us it was the best option because it felt gentle and met the goal we had. I hope you also find a way that feels right and works for your family.
My C-section wasn't planned but I needed one on the process because my baby pushed her head in direction of my hip instead of downwards. Here's how I frame it: She's now a toddler and interested in pregnancies and birth. I always tell her that in most cases babies will be pushed through the vagina by their mothers. But like with everything in life some people need a path that is different from what most people do. She needed another exit because she couldn't face downwards. So we had a team of doctors and nurses to help with that special exit for her. There will be things that she will do the "standard" way and often it's a good idea to do what already worked for a lot of people but sometimes this isn't the right thing for us. So if she ever feels the need to do things different than most people mommy and daddy will do everything we can to support her on her way like we did from day one with her special way of birth.
I think there's a difference between trying to avoid something and forbidding it. I wouldn't be angry with my kid for swearing but I think it's just good social behavior to teach kids that there are situations when swearing is not appropriate and also not very nice. We learn by example. Wouldn't it be nice when your kid instead of telling you you fucked up said "Oh mommy you dropped something. It's okay. I'll help you pick it up." That's what kids act like if that's how parents react to someone dropping something. Because kids wanna behave like us. You are right being overly strict with swear words or in shock everytime they use it will give too much power to these words. But if you simply use them as little as possible and don't make a deal about it when you hear it everything should be alright. Not avoiding them at all is normalizing swear words. Which might be cute in toddler voice but could possibly lead to a lot of conflicts in school or other social contexts. Especially since there are much worse words than "sseisse". Would you be chill with the casual use of "Hu**nsohn" or "F*tze"? If you're not, you already know there are words that need to be avoided around children. If you don't care about them either you will have some trouble ahead because those won't be tolerated in most settings which will lead to your child being excluded a lot.
Queen Rose on Amazon. Largest Size. Got it when pregnancy sleep got an issue and love it still now that my daughter is two years. Got a second smaller one from sei design for her toddler bed since she also loves the nest feeling. The fabric of the inner layer is a little bit thin and compared to the Queen Rose you cannot adjust the filling but it's still cosy and a little less expensive. I hope this helps.
Many women already said that this is kind of normal so I won't go to much into detail on that. But since you were wondering about her mental health and described her as even uncomfortable in a bikini at times I would like to say that maybe this even will be the path for her to feel more comfortable in her body. I definitely took pride in the things my body achieved during pregnancy and birth. My view shifted from having to be what society thinks is attractive to appreciating what my body can do and making decisions regarding clothing, grooming etc more about what makes me comfortable than what I think others expect. A lot of people think when mothers stop "making an effort" with things like make up, clothing, etc. it is a bad sign but often it's just mothers doing what makes them feel good to do this incredible thing called motherhood.
I think you're right to be frustrated. Those comments really can wear children down and I am so proud you want to protect her from the small box some people obviously want to see her in.
Hey, nice job! I recently got back into sewing too after a 10+ year break, and a pencil roll was my first project, too! Yours looks good!
Thank you so much!
For this project I recycled an old changing mat (white fabric) and added some printed jersey to make it look nice. The rubber band and pockets were added freehand with no real concept cause I didn't have a lot of time. I added an extra button because the first one wouldn't close when the organizer is full. It is far from perfect but I think it looks nice and since I didn't have time to sew something for some time it was a good project to get started again.
I am really annoyed how this place rn is just shaming women for their own decisions that really don't have to concern anyone else. She wears her period panties outside so she won't bleed on a chair you use in a restaurant. If she gets blood on her own pillow - who the f cares? I get shaming moms not taking their kids to the doctor. That shit harms people but free bleeding at home? Just mind your own business. Also not everybody has a heavy flow. I usually have a few drops in my pads the rest comes out when I relax to pee. Chances are she is just lucky with her flow and doesn't sit in a blood soaked pillow all day. Chill and let people live.
So I just need to get some thoughts out. I am 20 dpo and tested positive last friday and saturday. I have to wait till my first doctors appointment till oct 10th and it's a rollercoaster. I am happy for the positive tests but also really afraid. I had an ectopian last time and I can't stop thinking about the what ifs. I also have an aching stomach since yesterday that doesn't seem to get better so getting in a positive mind set is really hard. I feel all of you in the same position and hope we will all get good news soon!
For starters: yes, the daycare did a terrible job. You're right to be mad. Switch facilities. But also: Tylenol isn't for prevention. Every medication has side effects and its usage especially with small children should be limited to kids who really need it. So either your kid is sick so you don't take it to daycare. Or it's fine. So you're risking side effects for nothing. Giving Tylenol for every slight hint of a kid being unwell is a huge burden on the liver. It's not a heavy drug and I am all for medication when necessary but it's not mints either.
How many parents are responding to this thread?
I am an actual patent, child care professional and anarchist. All the arguments in this post show that there isn't one right way to practice anarchist parenting or even anarchy that fits all. If we look at human development you can say that a person never stops learning but that the early years of a person are definitely more filled with learning experiences and that these experiences have a bigger impact in the long run. Also parenting consists of different responsibilities like keeping the child safe and healthy, educating them, teach them ethics and how to live in a society (and a lot more). The discussion in this thread starts with the last point. In reality we always navigate between the different responsibilities of parenting and keeping a child safe (which doesn't necessarily mean keep them away from any harm but alive and healthy) is definitely more important than anything especially with small kids that cannot care for their own health and safety. To accomplish this sometimes we have to make decisions for a child because they can't foresee the outcome of their actions. In my opinion to rise a child anarchist it is important to always question if it really is necessary to do xy. This is always accompanied by a conversation about how even if it's sometimes necessary for parents to make decisions for you it's always important to question authority even with your parents. Furthermore the use of authority must be limited to certain situations which follow transparent rules that lose its power when you have the ability to make an informed decision. For example: If a toddler doesn't want to get a diaper changed you would try to give a little more time, reason with the kid etc. If still after some time the kid refuses and the diaper is full a parent needs to change said diaper to avoid rashes (which can be really painful, get infected etc.). Everything else would be neglect. So I would still try to give options for autonomy like "Do you want me to take off the diaper or do it yourself?" But ultimately I would take off the diaper if the kid refuses everything with a dialogue like this: "I understand that you don't want me to change your diaper. It is great that you tell me what feels good to you and tell me off if you don't want something. Now see there are two rules for me: Respecting your body and keeping it healthy. A full diaper can lead to you having pain so I must change it. It is my job to keep you safe. These are the only reasons for touching your body against your will -keeping you safe and healthy. When you grow older you will learn to take care of your pee and (I don't know the child friendly english word for the other bodily product) and I won't touch these body parts without your permission. We can start practicing going to the toilet today if you want to. I will do xy now..." This of course is a very long monologue that might only fit bigger toddlers with good communication skills but you get the idea. The question should be: What can I do to raise an independent adult that is able to make informed decisions and stand up for themselves. Neglect surely isn't the way. To me more than the moments that limit a child's autonomy I think it is important to think about how a child can become more independent and this is often very hard. It's giving room to explore, to try things, sometimes to wait for an hour until a kid manages to put their short on when they insist of doing it themselves, to let them help you cooking and cleaning even if the food might take forever and the house is less clean after the "cleaning", to take time to answer the 100th why question or to admit you don't know and learn together. To admit you have been wrong if you practiced authority when it wasn't necessary. Raising kids as anarchists is actually hard work and has nothing to do with laissez-faire. It is leading by example, practicing mutual aid and a sense of community. It's admitting that you yourself aren't the end all be all and deciding to learn together everyday. Sorry if this is long and cheesy.
And then going to the grocery store. Why? I don’t know! I think it’s the colors and organization and packages competing for my attention. Plus…snacks.
So much that. When I met my husband we did that on the regular. Getting high, walking to the store for snacks and soda and just wander around for a while. We would always buy too much food and try every fancy new snack or lemonade they offered. I love this memory. Now we have a toddler and do (sober) family shopping with her. Still crazy shopping but for other reasons 😂
Anyone dress their baby in a sleep sack in the bed? Mine is 2 months and even though we bedshare I’ve been putting her in a diaper and the sleep sack, all the way up to footed pyjamas and the sleep sack depending on the temperature (UK). It’s a merino wool one so is good for temperature regulation but all these answers about baby bring just in a diaper are worrying me!
We used a sleep sack till LOs second birthday. She slept better with it. When she moved to her own bed, we started PJs or diaper only according to weather and her preference so she can walk over to our bed if she wants to at night. Nothing to worry about. Different ages, temperatures and preferences need different solutions.
About 300€/313$ a month, Germany... Since this doesn't refer to the US for scale: Our monthly income is 4200€/4390$ for our household (3660€ on average in our country).
Swimming and Pokemon on Nintendo Switch (2-Player mode with husband)
Lurking mom and child care worker here. Feel free to ignore if looking for other dad's opinions exclusive...
Mayve you can expand on this in a better way but I've also heard that people who constantly clean their babies faces and hands during the meal set their kids up for food anxiety later. You need to mash the shit all over you as a baby or you end up not being able to handle the textures as a toddler. I've heard of parents told to literally sit with their kids and play with food. Paint with it, smash it on your face. Just to show them that its ok to be messy and that meal times do not have to be such a stressful experience.
I generally think it's a good idea to embrace getting messy with kids. Keeping babies and toddler clean is an almost impossible task while constantly holding them back will also eliminate a lot of learning experiences and make us parents go crazy. Clothing for kids should be easy to clean, everything else can be washed away in the evening or after the specific activity. Cleaning in between is just unnecessary stress IMO
I worked in daycare for eight years prior to being a mom. I did the 5 year apprenticeship (Europe), I got my BA in social work and specialized on children and families. I am a certified parent counselor. I didn't even know what I signed up for... I love it but being a parent is just a different kind of crazy.
It is hard but it will pass. There's good advice here like baby wear or co-sleep, trying to skip one nap but in the end every baby goes through some times like this and it will get better eventually. Do what keeps you sane. If it is falling asleep in front of the tv with LO because you need some distraction while being awake the whole night (or whatever you put on your not-to-do-list) go for it. Be gentle on yourself and take whatever sleep you can get. Get help if possible. You can do it! It will get better. For the school work. You can read pretty much everything to your kid if you need to learn. For essays and such try to record your thoughts while rocking baby to sleep in a singing or calming voice and then transcribe via audio to text.
Maybe you can explain him that even if she is not having an unwanted pregnancy strict abortion laws will affect her. Tell him that she might even decide to become a mother and die because the pregnancy is ectopic and the hospital can deny to remove a bunch of nonviable cells and let her die because of the rules. Ask him what he would have done if your daughter would have died in your womb and you would have had to die to because removing a dead fetus from your body is against the law. I don't think it should be necessary to make such extreme examples to get empathy. I think it's alarming that the sole argument of bodily autonomy isn't enough. But as you put it he has no perspective of the overall female experience and he might not see how carrying a baby you don't want is traumatic in itself but he might know what it feels like losing a loved one. If that isn't enough to get to him I really think there might be a bigger issue.
Not mentioning that the lives of pregnant people are obviously not considered at all. I had an ectopic earlier this year and would be dead under those laws without even a viable fetus present to be saved. I wanted this baby so bad but it never had a chance to become a human being. On the other hand I would not have had this pregnancy at all because my husband's mother would have died of ectopic before having him too and probably my own mother also because a baby died in her womb before having me. In my workplace alone I know three women who had complications in their planned pregnancies that would have killed them (and the baby) by not being able to terminate the pregnancy. It's just scary. So many lifes that would have ended due to strict abortion laws. In many cases those women (including me) would have left behind kids and kids that followed after those incidents would never have born... How the hell can anyone think there's something pro-life about those laws.
That reminds me a lot of this story
This must be so devastating. Not being able to keep a pregnancy you wished for is cruel in itself and I had a hard time even with accurate care but having to deal with the emotional pain of losing a (potential) baby and facing the risk of death is a whole other level of fucked up.
i'm only 11 weeks into my first pregnancy but i really cannot imagine it getting much worse than weeks 4-10 of first trimester hahaha. it was TORTURE😭 now i am only vomiting maybe 3-5x a day and i actually feel lucky
I feel this. My first trimester was hell on earth but I totally loved the second when the nausea almost went away. In most cases it gets better past week 12 or 13. You're almost there!
321987465 Those first month really where terrible with a lot of nausea and not being able to keep anything in my stomach. The last trimester was okay but exhausting with all those extra pounds but I really enjoyed the second trimester because the nausea went away I was physically fit and able to be active. I would feel the kicks and hiccups of the baby and really got excited with little downsides. Also I was in the summer and could enjoy eating ice cream, going swimming and cycling and had overall a wonderful time with my husband before the baby arrived.
That's not even the worst of it, IMO. In my family, a great aunt was diagnosed with cancer pre-RvW and the doctors refused to treat her because it would harm the baby, and refused to let her abort. This was her fourth child. She gave birth and died shortly after. Her husband couldn't cope and became an alcoholic and the kids got taken away. The youngest was adopted by an aunt but the other three ended up out of state and lost contact with the family. A whole immediate family destroyed, a whole branch of our family tree lopped off, in the name of trading a complete, existing life for a possible one.
My heart is broken for all those women in the US. This will ruin so many lifes and families. I had an ectopic earlier this year and would be dead under those laws. I wanted this baby so bad but it never had a chance to become a human being. Instead my two year old would be left without her mother. On the other hand who knows if I would have a family at all because my husband's mother would have died of ectopic before having him too and probably my own mother also because a baby died in her womb before having me. We all wanted to have a baby in the exact way the conservatives preach, there are no special medical conditions who would have predicted any of this and each of us had one or two healthy babies before. My mother and mother-in-law had perfectly healthy babies after and I hope for myself to extend my family further after being saved by medicine.
When my LO turned two we already dropped the other nursing sessions and were down to nursing to sleep and night nursing only, but she was still very into it and reacted to any attempt of weaning like your kid does. I didn't want to let her cry or scream till she falls asleep from exhaustion so we tried one method I read about here on Reddit. We picked a date in the future that would be off the routine in our case her second birthday. It could also be the day grandma visits or when you go to the zoo. We talked about the date a lot and that we are so excited because then she will be a big girl and don't need milk from the boob anymore. We talked about that we know this might be a little hard but there's also something very exciting happening since she also will be allowed to finally sleep in her big girl bed. We made a book with photos of her talking about things she learned with pictures of said habit (her walking for the first time or eating puree the first time with carrot all over her face..) Then it talks about how she will turn two soon and that she will continue to learn new things like sleeping without nursing and sleeping in her big bed. It also has pictures of things she likes to do that won't change, like cuddle with her parents, playing with her toys etc... We looked at it every day for 3-4 weeks and really focused on painting a positive picture of the day with all the good things happening. When the day came she asked for nursing a few times and was a little upset but no crying or screaming. She also transitioned from co-sleeping to her own bed really well. I have to admit we changed nursing for a bottle which we still need to wean. We use oat milk but mixed it with an increasing amount of water so that now she is only drinking warm water with probably a few drops of oat milk for the color to reduce sugar. For us it was the best option because it felt gentle and met the goal we had. I hope you also find a way that feels right and works for your family.
My C-section wasn't planned but I needed one on the process because my baby pushed her head in direction of my hip instead of downwards. Here's how I frame it: She's now a toddler and interested in pregnancies and birth. I always tell her that in most cases babies will be pushed through the vagina by their mothers. But like with everything in life some people need a path that is different from what most people do. She needed another exit because she couldn't face downwards. So we had a team of doctors and nurses to help with that special exit for her. There will be things that she will do the "standard" way and often it's a good idea to do what already worked for a lot of people but sometimes this isn't the right thing for us. So if she ever feels the need to do things different than most people mommy and daddy will do everything we can to support her on her way like we did from day one with her special way of birth.
Yeah. We don't avoid swear words. He'll learn them anyways and anything forbidden is tempting as hell. No normal adult never uses swear words.
I think there's a difference between trying to avoid something and forbidding it. I wouldn't be angry with my kid for swearing but I think it's just good social behavior to teach kids that there are situations when swearing is not appropriate and also not very nice. We learn by example. Wouldn't it be nice when your kid instead of telling you you fucked up said "Oh mommy you dropped something. It's okay. I'll help you pick it up." That's what kids act like if that's how parents react to someone dropping something. Because kids wanna behave like us. You are right being overly strict with swear words or in shock everytime they use it will give too much power to these words. But if you simply use them as little as possible and don't make a deal about it when you hear it everything should be alright. Not avoiding them at all is normalizing swear words. Which might be cute in toddler voice but could possibly lead to a lot of conflicts in school or other social contexts. Especially since there are much worse words than "sseisse". Would you be chill with the casual use of "Hu**nsohn" or "F*tze"? If you're not, you already know there are words that need to be avoided around children. If you don't care about them either you will have some trouble ahead because those won't be tolerated in most settings which will lead to your child being excluded a lot.
Two people in this thread:
Queen Rose on Amazon. Largest Size. Got it when pregnancy sleep got an issue and love it still now that my daughter is two years. Got a second smaller one from sei design for her toddler bed since she also loves the nest feeling. The fabric of the inner layer is a little bit thin and compared to the Queen Rose you cannot adjust the filling but it's still cosy and a little less expensive. I hope this helps.
Just wait a few seconds and he'll ask you to marry him
Wait a few seconds more and he threatens to kill you...
Many women already said that this is kind of normal so I won't go to much into detail on that. But since you were wondering about her mental health and described her as even uncomfortable in a bikini at times I would like to say that maybe this even will be the path for her to feel more comfortable in her body. I definitely took pride in the things my body achieved during pregnancy and birth. My view shifted from having to be what society thinks is attractive to appreciating what my body can do and making decisions regarding clothing, grooming etc more about what makes me comfortable than what I think others expect. A lot of people think when mothers stop "making an effort" with things like make up, clothing, etc. it is a bad sign but often it's just mothers doing what makes them feel good to do this incredible thing called motherhood.
I think you're right to be frustrated. Those comments really can wear children down and I am so proud you want to protect her from the small box some people obviously want to see her in.
I agree that nobody will judge and going shirtless is more than okay in this situation. But in case you feel better dressed I wanted to show you this