Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.

When you come across a feel-good thing.

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  1. If you’re not from here then definitely wear a hat. It confuses the drop bears and makes it harder for them to attack. Good luck, friend.

  2. She was asking about limerence. One person specifically said: leave him if you’re going to act on it. Just don’t cheat on him.

  3. Dump your boyfriend. Then be the bartender's OW. Bc that's all you'll ever be to him bc he isn't going to break up with his gf.

  4. She didn’t take your advice and decided to cheat instead.

  5. The fact that he told her he would never physically cheat on someone seems like pretty good proof, since what he said to her seems to have been the truth (unlike what he said to me).

  6. Yeah ok if he’s actively said that … although was that early or late in the conversations?

  7. Good point. I think he went to her house after he said that. So I guess it is hard to say. But he does seem adamant that he never touched her, even when I pressed him a lot. My gut tells me he did not touch her. I hope I'm right. But the emotional boundary was absolutely crossed anyway.

  8. The gut is a strong tool. Trust it wherever you can - it knows more than we realise! I wish you the best in your journey. I’m sorry you’re here.

  9. I’m Aussie we use words the rest of the world considers bad as terms of affection.

  10. Australia. Where mates get called cnt and cnts get called mate.

  11. I am sorry. Her saying “that is too far” is tantamount to a confession that is exactly what is transpiring. That is like saying “you can check my text messages after I delete them.”

  12. I wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s tantamount to a confession. WS have the right to privacy and should also be able to attempt to rebuild a somewhat normal life with their spouse. While they do horrible things, that doesn’t mean they need to accept anything and everything - that’s moving the unhealthiness of the relationship completely to the other side.

  13. Have you got backup of that story? Seems pretty suspect, I’m sorry!

  14. I'm so sorry you're going through this, I've read your past post.

  15. The slow approach is not going to work, it's delusional thinking. From the beginning it's an ego trip for him to steal a married wife and make her his toy.

  16. Yeah she switched again last night and wants to make us work. Recognises she has made herself numb to the pain she’s caused on this side of her current double life but it is all catching up to her. She seesaws massively at the moment. No doubt she will again before the week is through … but after this week we’ll have 3 solid weeks together as a family and she views this as the start of putting him behind her and us moving this marriage forward much faster than her baby steps.

  17. Be wary of ‘if she’s next to me she isn’t doing anything else’ and doing no more. My FIL did this when his wife wandered and he never dealt with it properly. Because of that, he openly admits his marriage has never been ‘good’. He loves his wife and they’ve had their very high points and very low spots. He’s stayed through it all but turns to plenty of beer and alone time to cope. This is 20 years later.

  18. I’ve done mine playing cricket. Was insane. After my operation (they saved it) I could feel gravity. Like I know that sounds silly but I literally could feel the pull of the planet on it. It was that sensitive. The pain was insane.

  19. Mine wasn’t awful hey. Back at work the day after I got released and playing again 2 weeks later 😂

  20. brother just read your previous posts. I wrote

  21. Things have been much improved at the moment. My wife went and saw her best friend who spoke to her in a way that she gets. My wife is planning a future with me. She has told her AP she won’t be seeing him anymore. She has booked a therapist and she told me she loved me and feels I am her person - first time she’s said this in months.

  22. Glad to hear things are better. But be wary of rug sweeping the affair or letting yourself do all the work needed for reconciliation. She has to be one to carry the load of recovering from this. Also don't start couple counselling, right now both of you need individual counselling to get your head straight and start reconciliation on the right foot before starting any couples counselling.

  23. She’s doing IC. She’s booked in. Hopefully that will change her perception even further and be willing to shoulder her fair share of the road ahead. I’ve already told her IC before MC. Need to fix ourselves before we work on each other.

  24. The 180 is not to have her come back to you. The 180 is for yourself, so you can detach and emotionally move on from her. If she changes, dumps her ap, and recommits that is just a bonus but the main reason you do the 180 is for yourself not her or winning her back.

  25. Yes, that’s my point. My wording just sways the other way because at the moment I’d love my marriage to work. It’s just the start of the road to me being ok though

  26. The pick me dance is a bad place to be. Puts her and her limerence in control you the marriage. She gets her cake and gets to eat too. Live in her fantasy world with her no count AP who is in it for free pussy at your expense.

  27. Hi mate. In Australia we can’t divorce until we’ve been separated 12 months - still 10.5 months to go. I’ve had a chat with an attorney already, I’ll get a co parenting plan in place over the next couple of weeks. I’ve been doing counselling weekly for the last 7 weeks. Not entirely happy with my counsellor so will seek out a new one soon. I’m through the initial grief wave, thank god. Both our families and closest friends are above everything. They are all completely behind me, which so far has continued to push her towards her AP … but I’ve been sure to speak to them to let them know they need to be there for her. She came from an abusive relationship before me so last thing they want is her falling back into another one.

  28. I have been following your story and find it particularly heartbreaking. I've done a lot of back and forth about what I might say in your position. Your wife responds negatively anytime she feels pushed but appears to slowly be coming to her senses about the situation and you don't want to push here away. But you need to take care of yourself as well. Here's what I would say to her:

  29. Thanks for your words! That’s essentially what I said. Since then I’ve stayed the night Monday (different rooms), stayed for dinner Thursday and stayed the night again last night. We’re going to have an adventure day driving down the beach as a family today. She has spoken about counselling, about the fact the kids need us to sort this, plans for the future … but then she goes to tell him and he cries and talks about killing himself and she feels awful. I’m trying to get her to see he won’t do anything and it’s just manipulation … I think she’s starting to see it but we’ll see over the next couple of days 🙂

  30. Hopefully she gets it that living with you one week and him the next isn't even remotely viable. While it sounds like things might be headed in the right direction- and I'm happy for you there - you probably need to go NC again if she goes back to him next week. If you really believe someone is going to harm themselves you call emergency services not crawl in bed with them. Hoping for the best.

  31. We aren’t living together when she’s in the house. I’m at my parents - it’s the kids who are in the house. I told her to do a welfare check to the police and he wouldn’t pull that stunt again. Unfortunately it’s part of love bombing and builds a dependency. We’ll see what my future brings. I am okay with any outcome. I know I’ll be okay at the end of whatever road lies ahead. Thanks for your messages.

  32. Sit down and speak to your wife about your feelings in the marriage. As soon as my wife told me she wasn’t sure it flicked a switch and I removed all the negative influences from my life (social media etc). Unfortunately she’d already cheated by then which has created a huge problem. So have the conversation first. During these early stages. Complete transparency with her - i believe all marriages are owed this.

  33. Just because you made bad choices in the past that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of happiness and respect again. It’s a hard road, there’ll be hard days but keep your eye on the prize. Good luck, I hope you find the happiness everyone deserves.

  34. What an interesting video. Particularly the flipping of the attachment and replication of behaviour of women with strong relationships to their father vs mother. My wife was always close to her Dad growing up. He was cheated on and took her back. This reaffirms my thoughts that it’s quite possible my wife took that behaviour on and is replicating now. Also a good reminder of the need for no contact to AP’s through the process. It’s all basic human biology.

  35. If I ever wind up in your situation, I'll join you as your faithful sidekick, Wonderball.

  36. Hahaha I like it. Kudos to you

  37. So what I'm hearing is.. you'd give your left nut to keep playing hockey?

  38. You’re picking up what I’m putting down. I’ve already adopted the alias of Powerball. One ball could change it all …

  39. I feel for you but a rash decision could result in you seeing your kids less, remember that. A wise man knows when to fight and when to walk away.

  40. Nah I’m not a rash decision kinda guy. I just relate to this guys story. If anything I’d let my wife think I was talking to someone else and choose not to deny it. I’d never lie (I’m not a liar) but would just change subject. Let her sweat.

  41. If I can get the desired outcome without actually using a person as a pawn I will.

  42. Thought about getting the same tattoo on my butt. No one would ever see it. But I would know it was there.

  43. That’s it. Mine just nice and hidden up high on my ribs. Just there for me.

  44. Brother you shouldn’t even give her time till the end of the week. You should just be done now. Are you not continuously tired of giving her deadlines and she doesn’t give a damn about them. Respect yourself brother. It’s done …. You deserve better than such a pathetic pos woman. And her saying about finding you in 6 months don’t fall for this shitty trap. She wants to have fun with this young dude by ignoring and destroying not only you but her children also, and then get back together after all the funs she had is truly despicable. I’ll be brutally honest ok.. if she cared about you her marriage and the children she wouldn’t have even thought about doing this. There’s no point in you torturing yourself by staying with this woman. Cut her out Asap . Tell her you’re done and you will just now divorce her. There is no room for reconciliation now as she doesn’t respect you and takes you for a door mat. She thinks she’ll have all the fun with this young dude and then she’ll be back with you because you are not giving up on her which makes are continue to do this. Give up now you’ve suffered too much. You don’t deserve this brother. Your children don’t deserve this.

  45. I agree mate. I’ve given her enough chances and she’s spay in my face at every opportunity. Zero respect for me for the last few months. It really sucks because this isn’t my wife. This is someone completely different. I do not know where my wife has gone.

  46. No, no explanation on that comment. I didn’t really ask for one, just closed the idea off.

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