1. Ten bucks the doll chipped your teeth in self defense

  2. ………..just because you marry Your first cousin does not mean you must conceive with your first cousin.

  3. No she’s mad that she has a pacifier in her mouth instead of my penus

  4. Why are you squinting so hard? Trying to read her drivers license? I know you think if shes old enough to bleed then she’s old enough indeed, but that isn’t rrue

  5. Perhaps I should be banned… please excuse me for asking for help, but I didn’t expect it, i was utilizing all options because I don’t want my wife to suffer

  6. Be gentle with what? Oh you mean be gentle with the 50LB tallywhacker trophy behind you? I’ll put it under your pillow tonight sweetheart <3

  7. Goddamn Mr. Leguizamo, you sure as hell look like the clown from spawn these days….. worst case scenario (arguably a paradoxical generalization) you look like the wax worms you consumed…. But after you regurgitated them at the close of the scene.

  8. … Ron Weasley switched it up? WINGARDIUM LEVIOSAWWWWWW

  9. Chain gang pockets yumyum… my ex gfs kids loved when i would make pockets. They called it trash bag cooking. Her youngest is currently serving a 10 do 3 however, so I’m not sure if I nurtured anything good…..maybe educated him a little…..? :(

  10. Have you ever been in love before? Loving someone is delighting in their company, feeling happy knowing they’re happy, enjoying that they are passionate about a thing even when you probably wouldn’t care much for that thing by yourself. Loving someone is so much more than their physical appearance. Ask any sighted person, and they’ll say the same thing. (Physical appearance might cause you to notice the person who fall in love with, but my love for my husband isn’t more genuine or pure than anyone else’s love just because I can’t see him as well)

  11. I am just now learning to love myself because I spent so much of my existence addicted to drugs (9 months sober). My fiancé (whom I feel I do not deserve) has shown me what it is to love someone unconditionally, and the proof of that is that she has loved me until I’ve learned to love myself. So to answer your question, until recently, no I have never been in love.

  12. Congratulations on all counts. Learning to love oneself is hard work, but worth it!

  13. I am so grateful for all of the replies and the education you have endowed upon me to make me less ignorant.

  14. Yup. Forget to replenish the toilet paper one day. Then your kid goes to take a shit, and because there's no toilet paper they're late for their job interview. Then when they're late for their job interview, they can't get any money to go to the concert. Because they're Left Behind from the concert, they got to hang out with a shadier group of friends. While hanging out with these friends, they decide to try crack out of the blue, and it kills your kid.

  15. Hahahaha ‘i think it’s a microcosm of more serious things’ oh my that’s rich. Reminds me of the numbers crunch right before buddy wiped the group in UBRS on WoW LEEEEEROOOOOOY JENKINNSSSSSSS

  16. This post legitimately brought genuine tears to my eyes, I suppose for sympathy sake because I am not blind and haven’t the capability to empathize.

  17. If you do not know the answer to a question there is nothing wrong with saying: "sorry I do not know the answer, I am a new to Islam." I feel like there might be more to the story that you may not be telling us.

  18. That person is a retard. You can't make takfir on people just because they don't have knowledge.

  19. It was on an app called stereo and we greeted each other formally and he began, what I would now term, "G checking" me. He asked me if my mother was an apostate would I still love her. And he asked me what school of knowledge i belonged to. When I replied that i was ignorant of what he was asking, he proceeded to slander me.

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