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  1. men will see this and think the opposite is the way to go then. now you're going to get a bunch of guys telling you how no women are after them.

  2. Well assuming I didn't commit suicide in those 20 years, I'd ask him in what field he's working in, how have AI advancements affected the world, and what stocks/crypto coins I should invest in.

  3. sounds like your future self already hooked you up with some ai info based on your username

  4. My cat, specifically lying down next to her and rubbing my face on her underbelly while she makes biscuits in my hair.

  5. ooh I'm glad! I've seen cats do that I just didn't know it had a name. I had a friend who used to call his poop loaves and I think it has permanently ruined my imagination haha

  6. My father will have been dead 34 years on Friday. I was weeks away from turning 6 when he passed, not old enough to really have that many solid memories of him, but just old enough to have a few really good ones that make me miss him immensely every single day. I think I was maybe 8 when I started hearing people tell me in vague to eventually direct ways that I needed to get over it. After 34 years I honestly wish I could.

  7. who tells an eight year old to get over their father's death? that's crazy to me

  8. Went to a wedding where everything went well. Got to the reception and the alcohol was flowing. My husband and I drank and got on the dance floor. The grooms side were very proper while the brides side were quite the opposite. Everyone is dancing when all of a sudden the cousin of the bride grabs the mic and says “This song is dedicated to your wedding night.” He motions for everyone to clear the dance floor and cues the DJ. Madonna’s “Justify my love” starts playing as the cousin starts crawling and rolling on the floor while lip syncing. It was easily the most awkward moment while everyone stood there watching his overly sexual performance. The song finally ends and it’s dead silence. I will never forget this moment.

  9. if the dj was on top of it he would have played the you lose sound effect from the price is right during the silence

  10. Love addiction. I mean relationships. Those people who never are single and have shitty relationships.

  11. that movie is hilarious but the way they do it in the movie just would not fly these days.

  12. I opened her laptop to order a pizza and her browser was on real estate listings. We weren't looking to buy a house, she was house hunting with the guy she was cheating on me with.

  13. how'd you fill in the gaps to the story? did she come up with a story or just outright admit it? because there are a lot of stories I would have bought because just looking at houses isn't too big of a red flag

  14. haha because they saw the question and then got distracted by the porn before they could answer

  15. imagine waiting at the dmv while half the people there are just casually fingering themselves waiting for their ticket to be called 🤣🤣

  16. I personally feel like the phrase no homo took away a part of roy hihbert's basketball powers and was the beginning of the end for that talented pacers team. I'm waiting for espn to make a documentary on it

  17. hasn't the onion gone out of business because they can't come up with anything crazier than what's actually going on anyways?

  18. I'm imagining you really talking him up during the interview. "you mean to tell me that right now one person is doing all this for your company? sounds like a superhero. you must be paying this person very well because they sound amazing"

  19. My wife is like a Disney princess when it comes to animals. Even police dogs become friendly with her and ignore instructions from the K9 police.

  20. There's a documentary called "The Search for General Tso" that covers the history of American style Chinese food, and discusses some of the ins and outs of the business that may be interesting for you.

  21. I want to make a reality show called general tso v colonel sanders. I don't know what it would be about I just think the title will draw people in

  22. haha I nearly collapsed! It was before the age of sex ed class at school. I just didnt have a clue wtf was happening

  23. haha now you're reminding me of fifth grade sex ed where the teacher was not expecting so many kids to already be so screwed up. one kid asked the teacher about dildos and she got so mad and asked him where he heard that word. God bless the kid for trying to convince the teacher that he was just reading the dictionary one day and came across it 🤣🤣

  24. Back in the days before digital cameras, 35mm film came in plastic bottles that everyone used to store their weed in.

  25. ooh losing those was probably a hit to the community then. good thing altoids stepped up to the plate!

  26. When I was still quite young I hooked up with a girl and she went straight for deep throat, which (at the time) I didn't even knew was a thing that's possible.

  27. haha you made it sound like it was instant. like you went "hey my name is zerocool" and then she went ”glgg"

  28. the guinness book of world records. I imagine the movie would be like a cross between it's always sunny in philadelphia and xmen

  29. yeah me too. a little more specifically I'd ask her if she's racist. it would explain a few things

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