MuppetManiac


























  1. I mean, probably most of them? Butter is processed. Milk is processed. Cheese is processed. Oil is processed.

  2. Dude, rennet is a chemical. Vinegar is a chemical. Both are used to make cheese. You can’t think of a better way to define your nebulous term because it’s not a real thing.

  3. Yonder is a very specific distance away. Over there can be across the room. Over yonder if farther away than that.

  4. It means you’re drunk and they won’t serve you more alcohol.

  5. This is fascinating and horrifying all at the same time.

  6. I don’t want to clutter up my phone with other people’s shitty apps either. But my mom has like eight pages of apps on her phone, it’s insane.

  7. If you need to tell your boss you have social anxiety, do it through whatever protected means you have. In the US, that would be by filing for an ADA accommodation.

  8. In the US, you don’t typically need to ask, they’ll bring it to you. But typically, someone will come by and ask if you need anything else. I’ll respond, “No, just the check, please.”

  9. Pizza is typically delivery or carry out. Other foods tend to be to-go.

  10. I have a lot of people who don’t like chili who love my chili. I put in shredded carrot. It tones down the capsaicin while letting me add more spice, so you get the flavor without all the heat.

  11. They know I don't want to stay with Dan if anything happens to my mom. If I can't be with dad I would choose someone in my extended family over Dan. My mom and Dan both know this. They know I wouldn't have him on my options list at all.

  12. Apart from not being your biological father, has Dan done something to make you dislike him so severely?

  13. A woman with a yellow face was wearing an ugly black hat that made the woman look uglier.

  14. You could just make them horrible coffee and claim not to know how to use the coffee maker. Weaponized weaponized incompetence.

  15. I don’t really carry much debt. My car’ll be paid off in the next three months, I was fortunate enough to escape college on scholarships and grants, and my HELOC should be paid off long before they die. My parents own their own home, got solid working class retirements themselves from frugal parents with good pensions, and have a fairly significant middle class retirement fund. I expect a good chunk of it to be eaten away by medical costs, but I should have a sizable inheritance and virtually no debt. So yeah, I’ll probably come out ahead.

  16. Who on god’s green earth would cover that with carpet? What is wrong with people?

  17. I was born in ‘83 and despite literally every kid around me getting it, I did not. My brother got it. The girl my mom babysat got it. My entire class got it. My dance class got it. My softball team got it. Me? Nope.

  18. Yeah, there’s also something in the Bible that says if your eyes are causing you to lust after women, pluck them out, so I’ll be taking this with a grain of salt until all the leering men start blinding themselves.

  19. I will say this is part of why Texas is known for extremely casual clothing. No one wears a suit at my bank. No one wears a suit jacket at church in the summer. No one wears a suit to the opera anymore. Even with AC, it’s too hot.

  20. Yes, of course. Part of your job is to maintain the facility. Cleaning is not beneath you.

  21. In the US, grades are protected information through FERPA, the family educational rights and privacy act. Grades are absolutely not compared like that. Grades are private.

  22. Gratitude journaling can be a powerful tool against this sort of thing. Depression can become a habit. You can develop the habit of looking for things to be grateful for and that can rewire your brain to be more positive. There are lots of studies supporting this. Try writing down something you are grateful for every day for a couple weeks and see if your mood doesn’t improve.

  23. You’re around adults? No one gives a shit. You’re with small children of someone else’s granny? In a job interview? Censor yourself.

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