1. This is really great advice and catch and release is definitely the answer. Ive now encountered many spirited white belts that refuse to tap or escape in the wrong direction for things on accident.

  2. Also seems like it would help with the whole Position Before Submission thing. I still struggle with rushing subs sometimes and this might help reel it in.

  3. 30 million people in the US don’t have health insurance.

  4. Hence why I cited a method that don’t require insurance 🤦‍♂️

  5. They may not require insurance but they sure as hell still require you ti pay them. Sliding pay scales are great if you have the money to even afford the reduced rate, which may impoverished individuals cannot. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you've never been so poor that if it's a choice between eating that day or getting medical care you forgo the medical care and choose to eat. That's a very real choice that many people have to make I've had to make that choice it eventually gets to the point where you stop caring because what's the point? When you're living hand to mouth medical care/therapy, etc are luxuries you just can't afford.

  6. You’re dead wrong about my never having been poor so if that’s the premise you wanna start with then there ain’t no sense engaging with you.

  7. I think this has to do with the fact a lot of us are taught as children that bigots are a bunch of bad people who are part of the KKK or the Nazis and that systemic injustice would just be solved if all the bad people just went to bad people island.

  8. This right here’s pretty much MensLib in a nutshell. SYN seen folks over there actually defending incels because they say anti-incel culture is so “toxic” to non-murdering lonely dudes (who are lonely because they ain’t big on working on themselves).

  9. Exactly...a lot of those men lib subs freak me out a bit.

  10. I posted an article in this sub today and they been brigading the hell outta that post.

  11. F350 line was my pick when I worked on ranches. New ones look damn good.

  12. I use the same moisture absorbers for em that I use in my boxing gloves when I ain’t wearing them (not the exact same ones obviously but same type). Helps prevent bacteria growth and fends off the odor.

  13. What moisture absorbers are you talking about, powders and the likes?

  14. Something along these lines:

  15. Eh, won't leak if it doesn't rain. But they wanted it patched anyway

  16. Well if their pockets run that deep then why not?

  17. There is no reason for ending your relationship but what you need is to put in work. Question yourself and the internalised misogyny and be a real ally.

  18. Been a feminist for a number of years now and I still had to end things with my ex when I figured out she wasn’t happy, and I was making sure to avoid pitfalls like turning her into a therapist so I didn’t tell her all about my problems or make her do all the housework. She ain’t dated since and that says it all if you ask me.

  19. It’s getting worse right? All this talk about this supposed male sexlessness is going to lead to a very violent backlash against women. I am actually afraid to a point were I don’t want to date anymore

  20. As a guy, I sure wouldn’t blame you for bowing out. Shit I been thinking of doing the same given how stacked the deck still is against women in dating.

  21. This here’s the whole point of estimators: they’ll come out and assess all the relevant details and come up with numbers. Snag 3-4 quotes from some reputable contractors in the area and then name your poison. Other folks in this thread offered some great tips for sussing out who’s real and who ain’t which can be real crucial in a market like mine where there’s a Chuck In A Truck on every damn corner.

  22. Plateaus are mighty frustrating, ain’t no doubt bout that. It may be cliche to say we all been there but it ain’t wrong.

  23. Do your best to understand that its progress, and there is never an "end state." You're improving. Everyday you step into the ring, you're improving. It's hard, but you just gotta trust it.

  24. This here’s a great outlook. Reminds me of something Joe Perry said when he was being interviewed and the podcaster said he (the host) ain’t no musician because he never could get the hang of an instrument.

  25. not trimming your finger/toe nails. no one wants to get slashed up by your nasty nails when they are rolling.

  26. I always say that we ain’t running an aviary here. Ain’t no need for claws and talons.

  27. This happened to me a couple days ago. I just started a couple weeks ago and the guy that’s been doing in for a year got a Kimora from guard and pulled it up all the way super fast before I could tap in time. Going to make a doctors appointment tomorrow.

  28. Maaaaaan I hate this shit. Great way to make sure folks get turned off for good. Hope it don’t sour you on BJJ and that you don’t run into that again for a long while, ideally never but there’s always assholes around regrettably.

  29. Been feeling that myself for a couple months now. I started practicing looking at the mouth of my 12 gauge every night so I could get used to the sight and take the edge off a bit.

  30. Big ups to you pardner! 🙌 🙌

  31. Sorry, but it is utterly insufferable to hear you talk about this detached mythical Parasite (R) (TM). Who is simultaneously all powerful at infecting spaces and making them compromised, but also weak and consisting of few evil people of indeterminate gender and from-birth long-spanning evil plot of preserving regressive social norms.

  32. I know this comment is a couple weeks old but big ups to you for this bud! Finally someone on this sub who don’t just bring the knives out at the mere suggestion that there is a personal element to men’s suffering and there ain’t nothing “bootstrappy” bout acknowledging that.

  33. And…if this person is in or adjacent to fat acceptance circles, as the “size inclusive” bit implies that she is, she 100% knew in advance that this could be a problem - it wasn’t a surprise. This is one of the more common complaints of fat activism. So if she chose not to look this up beforehand, it makes me think she wanted the opportunity to complain online and fish for pity points. Either consciously or subconsciously; I don’t know her and I’m willing to believe it was subconscious and give her that much credit.

  34. And they wonder why they have trouble dating folks. Who in their right mind would wanna put up with that day in and day out? Plenty of fat folks don’t make their issues their whole identity and they have much healthier social circles. What a shock.

  35. For me, nothing is worth not being physically mobile and strong enough to play fight/wrestle/rugby with my nephews, or pick up my future kid.

  36. This here’s the way. Lotta options for keeping the body healthy because it sure is a brutal activity. Good nutrition, regular body work, stretching, all little things that run a long way towards keeping someone outta the injury bracket.

  37. Not just incels, the whole manosphere. PUAs, misogynists, MGTOW (cause let's be honest, they never go their own way), incels etc. They just make men a turn off, which sucks because there are good guys out there.

  38. There are always exceptions but it ain't worth looking for the needle in a haystack sometimes. I'd rather women stay happier single than suffer through most guys out there.

  39. As a guy I get it. I've thought about bowing outta dating many times after learning that women are happier single than even those in "healthy" relationships. I'm in one now but I'm seriously considering breaking it off because she'll most likely be better off on her own anyhow.

  40. That would only happen if this person already considered women as a "type" of thing rather than as individual human beings with unique thoughts and feelings just like him. You don't project experiences with one person onto other people unless you see them as another version of the same thing. The covert incel you're asking us about was already a misogynist, and I doubt he'd have been able to hide that very well. Those opinions come out in all kinds of ways. I doubt too many men reach all the way to to full incel radicalization while keeping any feminist friends.

  41. Exactly this. Folks prone to this kinda thinking were gonna come to it sooner or later without any prompting from a bad breakup or something along them lines.

  42. I am sure shaming people is going to lead to long term happy and healthy relationships.

  43. This here’s what I don’t get: what’s the endgame here? Suppose somebody did get guilted into a relationship with an FA. How long would that reasonably last lest this partner was some spineless wimp who could never stand up for themselves?

  44. They are incels. They want the 6ft tall 6 pack ab dude with a 6 figure income to find them attractive but not as a kink/fetish.

  45. Well they’re gonna have a tough ride with that since only something like 4% of all men in the States hit all three boxes.

  46. I don’t blame you. Even the non-Incels can have terrible, misogynistic beliefs. To me it’s not worth searching the haystack for a needle.

  47. As a guy I've thought about bowing outta dating many times after learning how many women are happier single.

  48. We also don’t want to prop all women up on a pedastal. WLW relationships can be just as toxic and abusive as WLM. Abuse in the lesbian and bisexual women communities is a very real issue that shouldn’t be addressed. Avoiding men and dating only women will not solve the issue of abuse. We shouldn’t downplay or dismiss the real experiences women have had in abusive relationships with women either

  49. Agreed but this ain't about that, and I don't see nobody saying abuse don't happen in same-sex relationships. It remains the case that the overwhelming majority of abuse is perpetrated by men regardless of their partner's gender so it's understandable that women would wanna bow out.

  50. A pagan shop? That's really neat, if you're in NY, DM me the name if you're cool with it lol.

  51. Ain't in NY unfortunately, but I'm kinda surprised there ain't one around there be honest with you.

  52. We’ve all been there bud. The first loss is always the toughest because you get real deep in your head afterward wondering if you’re really cut out for this or just a bum like the rest, and you figure everyone else is thinking the same thing. Took my first loss about a month ago so I know it well.

  53. Honestly - ask her first if anything is wrong at all. If she says no, then tell her that you worried she may not like herself but that you’re glad this isn’t the case. If she says yes, ask her if you can help her in any way. Imo, you can tell her she’s sexy in your eyes. But also make clear you don’t wanna cross her boundaries

  54. Appreciate the feedback. Any suggestions on how you'd start a convo like that? Maybe something like "you know, I notice you comment on how much you eat all the time. Everything alright with that?" Or something else?

  55. It doesn’t always have to be sexual (although if you’re comfortable also do this in a sexual setting) but just make sure you tell her every chance you get how beautiful you find her, and how much you love her body. I know we’re not supposed to place too much value on physical appearances but it’s a real confidence booster. I’ve been through periods of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and the best thing my partner at the time did was tell me how gorgeous I was, he made me feel confident and sexy and like he was genuinely attracted to me. Follow it up with actions eg be passionate when the moment calls for it. Be specific about what parts of her you love, show her how beautiful you find her and help her to see herself that way too.

  56. Thank you much for your thoughts and for the compliment!

  57. My ex was Kenyan (still is) and my current partner is Pakistani and lemme tell ya son, feminism is alive and well in Africa and Muslim majority countries. Don’t think that’s the issue here.

  58. Lotta repair and service work in these parts. When we ain’t out there it’s a lotta training and certification renewal.

  59. I think those statistics are probably a misreading of the data, but as a woman who is happier alone, yes, I am truly happier alone. I agree with many others here: the social conditioning to put others' needs first results in me not being all that comfortable asserting my own will in personal relationships, and I find that struggle exhausting and demoralizing. I find I am more peaceful and more joyful without it.

  60. Maaaaan I wish more men understood your last bit. Too damn many of em who can’t understand why their exes packed up shop after being treated like their surrogate ma.

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